Web of Dreams

  I hated him for being so in love with her.

  It came time for little Troy to produce the

  wedding ring. In his excitement, he rushed to bring it

  out of his pocket and dropped it. The tiny clang

  seemed to echo through the great entry hall and

  everyone in the audience gasped simultaneously so

  that it sounded like a giant intake of breath. I saw that

  Troy was about to cry, but Tony picked up the ring

  quickly and gave it to him to hand it back. Momma

  flashed a look of anger and then quickly reverted to

  her smile.

  The rings were presented, the final words were

  said, and the minister pronounced them man and wife.

  They kissed and the audience cheered. Momma threw

  her enormous bouquet at the bridesmaids and it fell

  right into the hands of Nancy Kinney, the most homely looking of all the bridesmaids. Then she and Tony made their way back through the appreciative

  crowd of guests and the reception began.

  I brought punch and hors d'oeuvres to Grandma

  Jana, who sat in the music room and greeted people.

  Troy remained close to me most of the time, a little

  scared by the crowd and the activity. Two

  photographers wandered through the house taking

  pictures for the wedding album. A number were taken

  of Troy and me standing together, both of us looking

  wide-eyed and uncomfortable, me still clinging to my

  bouquet of sweetheart roses.

  Soon after, the great banquet hall was opened

  and the guests were drawn in by the music of the

  orchestra. When most everyone was in the room, the

  conductor stopped his orchestra and went to the

  microphone to announce the wedding party. First all

  the bridesmaids entered and then Troy followed. After

  a short drumroll, Momma and Tony entered arm in

  arm, Momma's face sparkling with excitement. The

  applause rose to a crescendo and cameras clicked.

  Momma and Tony took the center of the dance floor

  and the orchestra began to play a waltz. They danced

  as though they had been dancing together all their

  lives.

  As they turned and moved gracefully to the

  music, I couldn't help wondering what my wedding

  day would be like. Would I have a grand affair like

  this: a full orchestra, hundreds of guests, tons of food,

  and a horde of servants? If Momma had her way, I

  would. Maybe I would even be married here,

  following the Tatterton tradition, which was now to

  become my tradition, too. Would my husband be as

  handsome and as debonair as Tony? Would I be

  deeply in love or would Momma find me some

  wealthy aristocrat and convince me to marry him? And when I put on my wedding gown, would I

  look anything like Momma did? I saw the awe and the

  envy in the eyes of the other women as she and Tony

  danced. Not a strand of her gold hair was out of place;

  her complexion was perfect. She looked like a

  goddess, like a statue of Aphrodite come to life. After a while other couples joined Momma and

  Tony on the dance floor, and the reception was in full

  swing. Champagne bubbled all around me. I had two

  glasses and felt a little dizzy.

  I was glad when Troy found me and pumped

  my hand, urging me to follow him to "see something."

  With the music, the conversations, the tinkle of

  champagne glasses, and the peals of laughter trailing behind us, we slipped out of the ballroom and down the corridor to a sitting room in the rear. Troy pushed opened the double doors. The floor of the room was inundated with wedding gifts, some piled three or four

  feet high.

  "Look at all of it!" he exclaimed. "Tony said we

  can help open everything up later."

  I could only nod in awe. There was so much.

  Troy marched through the corridors of gifts, touching

  some, gently tapping on others and then placing his

  face against the sides of the boxes to listen and get a

  clue about the contents of each. I laughed and shook

  my head.

  "Are you happy, Troy? Happy now that your

  brother has a wife and my mother will be living here

  with him?" He stopped his inspection of the wedding

  gifts and glanced at me with dark eyes and a somber

  face. "Troy? You're not happy?"

  He was still silent.

  "But why not?"

  "Your mommy doesn't like me," he said,

  looking as though he would cry.

  "What? Why do you say that, Troy?" He

  shrugged. "Tell me, please."

  "She looks at me with growls in her eyes," he

  said quickly. "Growls? What's growls?"

  He growled like a dog.

  "Oh." I started to laugh, but saw he was very

  serious.

  "Oh, I'm sure she doesn't mean that, Troy. It's

  just that . . just that she's never had a little boy before.

  She's only had me and she's not used to little boys.

  After a while she will get used to you and you will get

  used to her."

  He shrugged again, but I saw from the

  expression on his face that he wasn't very hopeful. "I'm sorry you're not happy about your brother's

  marriage, Troy."

  "I'm happy! You're here now, right?" "Yes. I'm here now."

  "So, I'm happy," he repeated, clapping his little

  hands. "I'm glad about that," I said. "In fact, that's the

  thing that makes me most happy, too." I knelt down

  and hugged him.

  "Come on," he said heading for the door. "Let's

  get back to the party. We'll miss the cake."

  I glanced back once more at the mountains of

  gifts and then returned with him to the ballroom. A special table was rolled to the center. On it

  was a sky-high wedding cake with the figures of the bride and groom dancing under the word

  CONGRATULATIONS. Momma and Tony were brought to the cake for the traditional cutting of the first piece. Momma sliced it carefully and fed it to Tony, who tried desperately to maintain some dignity as Momma stuffed the extra-large slice into his mouth, but the creamy icing splattered down his chin and over his tuxedo jacket. Everyone laughed and cheered. I was going to join Grandma Jana to have my

  piece, but suddenly Momma took hold of my arm. "It has gone well, hasn't it?" She looked about

  proudly. "These people will never forget it. They'll be

  talking about it forever. How's your grandmother

  doing?" she asked, gazing at Grandma Jana, who was

  in deep conversation with another woman her age. "She seems to be having a good time." "I'll rest easier when she goes back to Texas.

  Who knows what she's saying to these people." I

  wondered if Momma feared Grandma Jana would tell

  me the truth about her past. She turned back to me.

  "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing, Momma."

  "You look sad. How can anyone look sad at an

  occasion like this?" She paused and sighed. "Still

  worrying about everything, aren't you? Can't help but take after your father, I suppose." I couldn't help wincing. She could lie with such sincerity. Maybe because she had been doing it for so long, I thought. But how long could I keep what I knew to myself?

  "Come with me," she said suddenly.

  "What?"

  "Just follow me. Quickly. I want to show you

  somet
hing." She took my hand and led me out of the

  ballroom. We went to the stairway and up the stairs

  quickly.

  "Where are we going?"

  "To my suite," she said. When we arrived, she

  went to her wall safe. "I had Tony install this for my

  jewels," she explained, "and," she added turning back

  to me, a wry smile on her face, "my documents." "Documents?"

  She just continued to smile impishly and

  opened her safe. Then she reached in and produced a

  very important-looking file. Inside were three pages

  of long paper clipped together. She handed it to me

  and I read the title: "A Prenuptial Agreement." "What is this?" I asked.

  "It's a contract between Tony and me," she said

  proudly. "I had my attorney prepare it."

  "A contract?"

  "Yes. If we should divorce, for any reason," she

  said pointing to some words in the second paragraph

  of the first page, "I get half of what he is worth. Half!"

  she repeated. "Half of all this," she said extending her

  arms. "You can read it right there," she added pointing

  to the papers in my hands. I looked down at them, but

  the words were gibberish to me, not only because I

  didn't understand the "Whereas's" and "Resolved's,"

  but because it was so shocking to learn that Momma

  and Tony's love affair was written down in legal

  language like a deed to a house.

  "I don't understand, Momma. Why do you need

  this?"

  "Insurance," she said taking the papers back,

  obviously not pleased with my confusion. She

  restored them to her wall safe. After she closed it, she

  turned back to me. "There is no man in the world I

  would trust. Absolutely none. I thought I had taught

  you that."

  "But aren't you in love with Tony?"

  "Of course, I'm in love with him. What's that

  got to do with it?"

  "But if you're in love, why do you need such a

  contract?" was still dumbfounded.

  "Honestly, Leigh. For an A-plus student, you act so stupid sometimes. I told you . . never trust a man, no matter what. I love Tony and he loves me, but that doesn't mean that some time later on, he might not do something to displease me or manufacture something I supposedly did to displease him, just so he could get his way with me. This is insurance," she said pointing to the safe. "He knows he can't send me packing without losing half of what

  he has and that helps to keep a man under control. "I wanted to show you this now to make you

  feel better about the future. You will have everything

  now, Leigh. You don't have anything to worry about

  anymore."

  "But wasn't Tony upset when you asked for

  this?"

  "He was, but he loves me so much, he

  swallowed whatever bad feelings he had about it," she

  said proudly. "That's why I love him--I'm the most

  important thing in his life. Understand?"

  I didn't know what to say. I had thought love

  meant trust. Were you really in love if you had to

  have lawyers and judges looking over your shoulders? "So, now that you know everything, you can be

  happy, too," she said. "Come on. We've got to get

  back to the reception. I've instructed the servants to hand out the Tatterton memento now and I want to see the looks on the faces of the guests when they each

  receive one.

  "Be happy, Leigh. Please. Just for one day, put

  aside any dark thoughts and be happy for me." "I'll be happy for you, Momma." She brushed a

  quick kiss on my cheek, then we hurried downstairs. I

  was stunned by Momma's revelation. Was everything

  good and true and honest only in storybooks? Nothing

  seemed to be what it appeared to be. Life was as

  complicated as . . as the maze outside. No wonder it's

  so easy to get lost, I thought.

  Grandma Jana left just before the wedding

  reception actually ended. She was anxious to get back

  to her home in Texas, even though everyone treated

  her like a queen here. Tony had arranged for Miles to

  drive her to the airport. I walked out to the awaiting

  limousine with her, since Momma was too busy to say

  a proper goodbye.

  "Goodbye, Grandma," I said. "Have a good trip

  home."

  She stood there staring at me thoughtfully, and

  then she hugged me to her so tightly, she nearly took

  my breath away. She looked at me and then her eyes

  narrowed and hardened. For a moment I thought she was going to tell me everything, just blurt out the truth of all of Momma's dreadful lies and why she had been upset to learn of Momma's divorce and new marriage, but her eyes softened and her grip on my

  shoulders loosened.

  "I hope you will be happy here, Leigh, but if for

  any reason you're not, just remember, you can come

  to me. I don't live as fancy as all this, but I'm quite

  comfortable," she said, sounding far from the ogre

  Momma often made her out to be. How much of the

  rest of what Momma had told me about her early life

  in Texas had really been true, I wondered.

  "Thank you, Grandma."

  She kissed me again and got into the limo. I

  watched it go off and then went back inside. Soon

  after, guests began to leave.

  I heard Momma call my name and saw Tony

  and her coming down the stairway together. Momma's

  heels clicked on the marble stairs. How worldly and

  confident she appeared as she sauntered down arm in

  arm with Tony. She was wearing her black wool crepe

  suit trimmed with a mink collar and cuffs. From

  beneath her jacket peeked a white chiffon blouse that

  glittered. In contrast to all this darkness, Momma's

  face was dazzling to behold. She seemed a diamond

  set against black velvet.

  Tony wore a black leather jacket and a bright

  white scarf. Just like Momma, he appeared fresh and

  alert. I imagined they were both still buoyed by the

  day's excitement and the excitement yet to come.

  They both looked so young and alive and so very

  happy together.

  "Can you believe it's over?" Momma asked.

  "You are now looking at Mr. and Mrs. Tony

  Tatterton. How do we look together, Leigh?" She

  squeezed herself up against Tony.

  "Wonderful," I said, in as excited a voice as I

  could manage, but Momma wasn't satisfied. Her smile

  wilted.

  "Well, we're off. You have everything you need

  and need to know. I wish I could be here with you

  Christmas morning when you open your presents, but

  I know you understand."

  "Try to keep Troy from opening them until

  Christmas morning," said Momma's handsome new

  husband, with his eyes that followed me everywhere

  and his smile that seemed to mock and know so much. "You promised him he could open the wedding

  gifts," I reminded Tony, my own eyes breaking the

  stare between us.

  "We were going to do that when we got back

  from our honeymoon," Momma groaned. "He'll just

  have to wait."

  "Oh, I don't see how it could hurt if he unwraps

  some," Tony relented. "Just don't let him make a mess

  of it."

  "He's sure to
, being a little boy," Momma

  complained. "Oh well, I don't want to think of

  anything that's the slightest bit unpleasant right now.

  Goodbye, Leigh honey." She embraced me and even

  with all my pent-up anger I hugged her back tightly,

  with a ferocity that I think surprised her. All of a

  sudden I didn't want her to leave, needed her in my

  heart of hearts to be my mother and warm me with

  hugs and kisses and little touches.

  "'Have a nice Christmas and New Year's in

  your new home. Don't be afraid to explore," Tony

  said. "It will take you almost as long as our

  honeymoon to do it."

  "But please . stay out of the maze," Momma

  warned.

  "Okay, Momma. Have a good time," I choked

  out.

  "May I kiss my stepdaughter goodbye?" Tony

  asked. "Goodbye, Leigh. See you soon." His long arms held me and even through the leather they felt strong and muscular. He kissed me on the cheek, but very close to the corner of my mouth. Momma seemed impressed with how long he held me and how soft and lovingly he kissed me. Then she threaded her arm through his and they were off. Curtis opened the big doors for them and then shut the doors behind

  them. He nodded at me and walked away.

  I heard the voices of some servants and staff

  echo from the ballroom as they carried things back to

  the kitchen. Doors were closed and suddenly a great

  hush fell over the enormous entryway. I looked

  around. It was as if all the spirits of Tattertons past

  were sucked back into their portraits and eternal

  places. The new silence became deafening. I gazed

  out a front window and saw that the Christmas lights

  were turned on. The grounds, the hedges and trees

  were ablaze with reds and greens and blues. It was as

  though a rainbow had shattered and bits of it had

  rained down all over Farthinggale.

  Mrs. Hastings came down and told me Troy

  was fast asleep. She went off to join the other

  members of the staff, who were, I gathered, now

  having a celebration of their own and feasting on

  leftovers in the kitchen.

  I went to the music room where Tony had had

  the ten-foot Christmas tree placed and decorated. Its

  light had been turned on and it looked lovely with its

  glass angel shining brightly on top. Gifts were

  scattered and piled around it. There was a fire going in

  the marble fireplace. The room looked all set, readymade for a family.

  But where was this family and who had done