You're Still The One

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  Once I had finished with the meeting, I went back to Logan's office and told him what I had learned. When I mentioned Sarah, his face saddened. He asked me what her last name was and I told him I had no idea, they never mentioned it. I don’t know what came over him, but he called the General and asked about her. When he got off the phone, he looked at me in a way I had never seen before. "You'll never believe who she is, Care..."

  "Do I know her?" I ask curiously.

  "You knew her fiancé. As a matter of fact, you saved his job." He trails off as my brain scrambles, trying to put the puzzle together. "Lieutenant Jon Grant." Logan finally adds when I don’t answer.

  "Oh my God." I mutter as all the memories come back to me. He was the one who put on the memorial for Nick when Logan was promoted. He was the one that had started the rumor about Logan, saying he was too emotionally attached to be a leader. It was true, I had saved his job, but now, I was wondering if that was a good thing.

  "Now that you mention it, he did tell me that he and his fiancé were expecting. I believe he told me it was a boy. Do you know when she miscarried?"

  "Right after Jon passed, I think..."

  "Hmmm." He stares off into space, deep in thought.

  Immediately, I know what he's thinking, "You don't think she..."

  He nods, "She could have. Think, if that baby was born, who would it remind her of?"

  I shake my head, "What mother would kill their own baby! That's disgusting."

  "I could be wrong... I've only met her once anyway." He quickly changes the subject. "You know, I'm not that busy right now... What do you say, I walk you to the car?"

  "Why not. I've got a lot of stuff to work on in the nursery today." I add as he follows me out of the office.

  "You go do that, but please, I beg you, don't sit on the floor."

  I chuckle, "I promise, that definitely won't happen." Within a few minutes, we arrive in the parking lot. "I'll see you later." We start to kiss goodbye when someone interrupts. "Caroline! Thank God, you're still here!" Jessica says, breathing rapidly.

  "What's wrong?"

  "I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's Sarah. She locked herself in her house. Amanda said she was really upset when she left the meeting and she followed her to make sure she was okay. She's in there and Amanda has reason to believe that she's trying to kill herself."

  Immediately, adrenaline kicks in, "Logan, go get the General and hurry!" I add, running off with Jessica. I have to admit, I was pretty surprised that I could run, considering my current situation, but I guess adrenaline does make a huge difference in your physical capability.

  Suddenly, Jessica comes to a stop when we make it to a large, brick duplex. Amanda's outside waiting for us. "She won't answer me!"

  I walk up to the front door and knock, "Sarah? Are you in there?"

  I hear a rummaging sound, "Caroline?"

  "Yes, it's me! Now, will you please open the door?"

  "I don’t want them in here."

  I sigh, "Okay, I'll come in by myself. They'll stay outside." Oh God, Logan's going to kill me for doing this. Slowly, the door opens, but just enough to let me inside. She slams the door shut once I enter the foyer. "What do you want?" She asks as I look at her. She's sweating and her eyes are red and puffy.

  "Did I say something to upset you at the meeting?"

  "No. I just remembered who you were. I guess your husband told you who I am."

  "Sarah, I'm sorry you lost Jon... He was a good person."

  She smiles, "Yeah... You know, you saved his job a few years ago and right now, I can't help but wonder if he would have been discharged back then, would he still be here with me now?"

  "I know you're upset. But all that alcohol isn't going to help anything..." I add, looking at the bar in the kitchen. At least ten bottles line the end of the counter, anything from Vodka to Whiskey.

  "Did they tell you I was an alcoholic? You know, I didn't use to be. It's just when he died, I didn’t want to feel anything anymore." She shrugs.

  "Sarah, is that the reason you miscarried?" Her eyes shoot up at me.

  "How'd you know?" She asks angrily.

  "Call it mother's intuition, I suppose... Remember, I was in your place a few years ago and I remember it very well. I felt hopeless, everything I had was gone, and I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Right now, that's what you're feeling and you're the only one that can determine the path that you're going to take. Maybe you'll be like me and want to start anew, maybe you want to reach out to your family, who knows."

  She shakes her head, "It took me so long to get here. I don’t want to start all over again."

  "When Nick died, that's exactly what I thought, but I soon realized that everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't have lost him, I wouldn't have met Logan, and little Julianna wouldn't have even been thought of. Think about that... Everything that has happened to you in the past weeks will make you so much stronger, it already has."

  "Caroline! What's going on?" Logan yells, banging on the door.

  "It’s fine, calm down!" I yell back as Sarah cracks a smile.

  "He really loves you, you know?" She says.

  "Oh, I know, and someday, you'll have someone like him too. I know you don’t want to think about it right now, but life will move on, with or without you." I look out a window and see an ambulance pull up. I figured the General would call 911 to make sure she was alright. "Will you do me a favor?"

  She nods, "If I can."

  "Will you at least let them check you out? It's just precautionary."

  "Sure." I open the door as everyone breathes a sigh of relief. I walk Sarah to the ambulance and walk back to where the General and Logan are standing.

  Logan puts his arm around me and looks to the General, "You know, I think I change my mind. The whole meeting thing, I don’t like it. I think she should stay home. That way I know exactly where she is and there's no need to worry."

  "Logan, you've officially lost your mind. I agreed to this and I'm going to finish it. She needs my help more than ever."

  "You’re pregnant, do you get that?" He asks as the General just kind of watched us in amusement.

  "Nah, I had no idea! I just gained thirty pounds out of nowhere, my feet just decided to swell like a football, and I'm just randomly moody all the time!" I add sarcastically.

  "Yeah, I'm going to give you the day off, Captain. Might need to stop by Dairy Queen or something on the way home..." The General chuckled, walking away.

  "I mean what if she had a weapon?"

  "Logan, snap out of your army mind. Everyone is not the bad guy around here! She's just hurt, that's all."

  Katie walks up, "Are ya'll always yelling at one another?"

  "No, this is the way Logan speaks to me when I save someone's life!"

  "I was just a little stressed, Care, alright? I'm sorry." He adds, calmly.

  "You're stressed and you're making me stressed! And guess who's supposed to be calm right now? Me!" Katie chuckles, "What's so funny?"

  "Those mood swings are really coming frequently now, aren't they?" She asks.

  I groan, "Don't you just love 'em? Logan, sorry I yelled at you. Who knew Julianna's presence would make me this crazy... Well, I'm going to go visit the cafeteria, maybe they have some ice cream left."

  "Girl, you going to be on a sugar high!" Katie adds.

  Logan interrupts, "No, no, Katie. It's fine. Let her go, I like the Caroline that follows, trust me."

  She shakes her head, "I don't even want to know..." She walks off as Logan and I chuckle. "She's so fun to annoy." I add as we head down the sidewalk.

  "Definitely...”