You're Still The One

Chapter Twelve

  Logan's Point of View

  I was wrong. I shouldn't have told Caroline to go through with these meetings. It was low of me to bring Nick into this, I should have let Caroline turn down the offer like she wanted to, but I just had to add my two cents.

  The Doctor is wanting her to stay away from stress and all I did was talk her into it. What kind of a husband am I? Apparently, a pushy one, that's for sure. I want to talk her out of it, but knowing Caroline, that's not happening. Once she sets her mind to something, she'll do it.

  As for last night, it was nice. We had time to ourselves again and I had really missed that side of Caroline. She fell asleep before I did and I stayed up and watched her for a while. I even felt the baby kick once or twice and let me tell you, that could never get old. It was such an amazing feeling...

  When I finally went to bed, I slept peacefully until I heard my phone start ringing on the nightstand. I silenced it before Caroline woke up and checked who had called. The General? I looked at the time, 3:47AM. Why would he call this early? Something must be wrong.

  I slip out of bed and walk into the kitchen as I call him back, "Logan?"

  "Something wrong?" I ask, sleepily.

  "Did I wake Caroline?"

  "No, she's still asleep... What's going on?"

  "Logan, there's no easy way to tell you this. I just got off the phone with Sarah's mother. When she got out of the hospital last night, she called her mom to come and pick her up. It was the first time they had spoken to one another for almost a year and her mother had no idea Jon died or that she was even pregnant. They got into a big argument and Sarah locked herself in the house again..."

  "Do I need to get Caroline to call her?"

  He sighs, "No, I'm afraid that won't be necessary..."

  "Then I don't understand why you called, Sir?"

  "Logan, Sarah killed herself this morning."

  "What? How? Why? She seemed fine earlier!"

  "The coroner came to get the body not long ago, all he said to me was that she had multiple stab wounds. According to her mother, Caroline had told her to reach out to her family, maybe that would ease her pain. Apparently, it didn't and she chose the opposite path that Caroline wanted her to take..."

  Oh no... This was going to kill her. She was so proud of herself for helping Sarah and now... How am I going to help her through this one? I have a feeling this is going to be a repeat of Nick's death. She can't handle this right now. "How am I going tell her? She can't deal with this. I knew this was a bad idea."

  "I'm sorry that I even brought this up to her, I just thought she could help. Don't worry about coming in today, just make sure she's alright."

  "What was a bad idea? And who are you talking to?" Caroline asks, stumbling out of the bedroom. Uh oh.

  "I’ve got to go," I add and place the phone on the counter. "Uh, the General called."

  She squints at the clock, "At four AM? What did he want?"

  "Why don't we sit down," I add and walk over to the couch. By this time, she knows something's wrong and reluctantly sits down beside me.

  "What did he say, Logan?"

  "He informed me that last night, Sarah was released from the hospital and she called her mom to come pick her up. She thought that maybe they could talk and make up."

  "Really? Good for her!" She smiles.

  "They had a really bad argument and Sarah locked herself in the house again."

  Her expression saddens, "Well, it was a long shot... Do I need to go see her in the morning? Is she okay?"

  God, I don't want to do this. "Care, Sarah killed herself this morning."

  She doesn't get it right away. She just looks around the room like she didn't hear what I said. "Do I know another Sarah? I'm pretty sure the one that I know wouldn't do a thing like that."

  I nod, "She did... The coroner has already come for the body. He told the General she had multiple stab wounds."

  After I said that, it wasn't long until the waterworks came. She had finally realized the truth and it broke my heart to see her this way. She hadn't been like this since the incident with Louise and after that, I promised myself I would never let her get that way again. And yet, here we are. "I was the one that suggested she talk to her family again! It's all my fault!" She cries into my chest. I tried my best to soothe her, but I honestly didn’t know what to do. I felt just as helpless as I did when Nick passed. I didn’t know if she wanted me to talk or just to hold her. I really had no idea.

  This was one of those moments where you just hoped everything was a dream and you would wake up any second and everything would be okay. I knew that wasn't going to happen and I knew that the next few days was going to be really tough...

  Not only was I worried about Caroline, but I was also terrified for Julianna. I didn't want Caroline to stress, I just wanted her to be happy. She needed to be calm and keep her blood pressure down and I know that right now, it's probably higher than it was the first time, but what can I do? I can't stop anyone from grieving. I can't take the hurt away, trust me, if I could, I would in a heartbeat, but I can't.

  She would likely always blame herself for this and every time I thought about it, the more angry I became at myself. Why did I tell her to go through with this? Why couldn't I have let her turn it down?

  This was one time in my life that I honestly didn't know what to do. It wasn't as personal when I was a grief counselor, I didn’t know her that well, I just tried to listen to her, read her body language. I wasn't that involved as I am now. She's my wife, it's my job to take care of her, it's not just a promise I made to my best friend anymore.

  This is one of those times I really wished that Nick was here. I really needed guidance with this and Nick always knew what to say.

  God, I miss you, buddy.