RoomHate

  They hooked him up to an IV and gave him Motrin. Over the course of an hour, they also ran a battery of blood tests.

  A new doctor who had just come on shift entered the room.

  “How are you feeling Mr. Banks?”

  “Like crap.” Justin squinted his eyes to get a closer look at the doctor’s hospital I.D. “Is your name seriously Dr. Danger?”

  The doctor rolled his eyes. “It’s actually pronounced like hanger. Dan-ger.”

  “Do they know what’s going on with him, Doc?”

  He held out his hand. “Call me Will. Please.”

  I took it. “Amelia…”

  He smiled, sort of giving me a flirtatious vibe. “Well, we think it’s a combination of things going on here. An unidentifiable bacterial infection that caused a high fever and vomiting in addition to dehydration. We’ve ruled out more serious issues.” He looked at Justin. “You’re very lucky your girlfriend brought you in. Fevers of that level can be quite dangerous in adults.”

  Justin glanced over at me briefly before he turned to Dr. Danger again. “How long am I gonna be sick?”

  “It’s probably going to last a few days, but we’d like to keep you overnight for observation because of the severity of your fever and to get some more fluids and vitamins into you.”

  “I have to sleep here?”

  “Yes. We’ll move you into a more comfortable room.”

  Justin frowned. “Can I object?”

  “I’m afraid not. I’m sure your girlfriend will keep you company.”

  “Oh. I’m not his girlfriend,” I corrected. “His girlfriend is in New York.”

  “Sister?”

  “No. We’re just…” I hesitated. What were we? “We were friends years ago. Now we live together in a house we both inherited.”

  Dr. Danger looked utterly confused then asked, “You’re not dating each other then?”

  “No,” Justin was quick to answer.

  “No,” I repeated.

  “Do you live locally, Amelia?”

  “Yes. I live about ten minutes down the road.”

  “I’ve actually just moved here from Pennsylvania. Perhaps, you’d like to show me around the island sometime?”

  He’d really caught me off guard. Dr. Danger—Will—was definitely attractive in a clean-cut semi-older way. With his dark hair and large brown eyes, he was handsome enough. I couldn’t say my body had anywhere near the reaction to him that it did for Justin. But maybe it would be good to accept his offer.

  “Sure. That would be nice.”

  “Great.” He fished inside the pocket of his white jacket for his phone. “Give me your number? I’ll program it here.”

  Justin looked miffed as I recited my digits.

  “The nurse will be back in to check on him soon. I’ll call you.” He winked.

  “Okay.” I smiled, offering a small wave.

  After Will left the room, Justin looked over at me from the bed and huffed, “What a fucking loser.”

  “Loser? Why? Because only a loser would be attracted to me?”

  “What kind of a doctor picks up a patient’s friend like that on the job?”

  “Oh, now we’re friends?”

  Ignoring my question, he said, “Seriously, that was lame. He’s a cheeseball.”

  “I happen to like cheeseballs, especially if they come in the form of good-looking doctors. Cheeseballs are better than downright mean people.”

  “Whatever.”

  A nurse then came in to tell us that the other room was ready. She walked us into an elevator to the second floor where Justin was placed in an overnight suite. Still hooked up to the IV, he finally fell asleep. Soon after, I followed suit, conking out on the cot next to his bed.

  About an hour later, it was sometime early in the morning. I woke up before he did and marveled at how even though he was so sick, he was still handsome as ever with his matted hair and especially with his overgrown stubble. Then, Justin unexpectedly opened his eyes. When he saw me lying on the makeshift bed next to him, he looked surprised.

  “I thought you would have gone home.”

  “No. I couldn’t leave you.”

  “You really didn’t have to stay.”

  “It was fine. I would have been worried.”

  He didn’t respond, but the look on his face softened.

  The nurse walked in and checked his vitals and temperature. “Your fever is still high…one-hundred two point five…but at least it’s responding to the medicine and going in the right direction. I’m going to check with the doctor on call about your being discharged.”

  “Thank God,” Justin muttered.

  ***

  When we arrived back to the beach house, Justin settled into his bed once again. Thankfully, the vomiting part of the illness seemed to have passed, even though the fever hadn’t. Jade would text from time to time, and I would continue to give her updates.

  The nurse had said it was important for him to eat something and stay hydrated, so I boiled him some chicken broth and brought it upstairs. He was sleeping, and I didn’t want to wake him, so I opted to take it back downstairs until he woke up. He must have heard the mug moving against the saucer because as I was heading back out the door, his voice stopped me.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I made you some broth. The nurse said you need to eat.”

  Returning to his bedside, I handed it to him as he scooted up against the headboard and began to sip it. I turned around to head out the door again when I felt his hand grab my arm.

  “You don’t have to leave.”

  “I’ll just come back for the mug.”

  As I headed out the door, his voice stopped me again. “Patch.”

  My body froze. His calling me by the old nickname had totally stunned me. I never thought I’d hear it again.

  “Turn around,” he said.

  When I did, his face reflected a sincerity that I hadn’t seen in years.

  He placed the mug and saucer on the table and said, “Thank you…for everything. Thank you for taking care of me.”

  So caught off guard and overcome with emotion, I simply nodded once and continued out the door, unable to stop thinking about his words for the rest of the night.

  ***

  Two days later, Justin’s fever had finally broken, but he still wasn’t feeling up to performing. I was watching television downstairs when he sat down on the couch next to me. He put his legs up on the ottoman and crossed his arms. It was the first time he’d ever chosen to hang out in the living room when I was lounging.

  He’d just showered and smelled like aftershave. My body immediately reacted to the closeness of his legs to mine even though we weren’t touching.

  I wished he were mine.

  Where did that thought come from?

  “What’s this crap you’re watching?”

  “Some reality show. I can change it if you want.”

  “No. I invaded your space.”

  “I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

  “Me too.”

  Throwing the controller at him, I said, “Seriously, take the remote.”

  He handed it back to me. “Nah. I owe you. You put up with my shit when I was sick and whiny. The least I can do is sit through listening to these whiny bitches.”

  “Well, if you really want to thank me for nursing you back to health, there is something else you can do.”

  He lifted his brow curiously. “Alright…”

  God, I just realized how that sounded.

  “You can talk to me.”

  “Talk?”

  “Yes.”

  He let out a deep sigh. “I really don’t want to open up an old can of worms. We both know what happened. It’s not gonna change anything.”

  Not beyond begging, I looked into his eyes. “Please?”

  He suddenly got up.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I need a drink for this,” he said, walking toward the
kitchen.

  “Can you get me one, too?” I hollered after him. My heartbeat began to accelerate in preparation. Was this really happening? Was he going to talk about what happened or just listen to me ramble?

  He returned with a bottle of beer for himself and a glass of white wine for me. It surprised me that he knew exactly what I wanted, even though I hadn’t specified. It proved that he’d been observant even when pretending to ignore me.

  He took a long sip then placed his beer on the coffee table. “We have to set some rules.”

  “Alright.”

  “Rule number one, if I say we’re done talking, we’re done talking.”

  “Okay.”

  “Rule number two…after tonight, we don’t talk about shit that happened in the past. This is it. One night only.”

  “Okay. I can handle that.”

  Grabbing the bottle again, he downed half of the beer before slamming it down on the table. “Alright. Go.”

  Where would I begin?

  I just needed to throw it all out there.

  “There is no excuse for my leaving the way I did. I was young and stupid and scared. My biggest fear had always been getting hurt by you, because you were the one person I could count on besides Nana. When I found out you knew what was happening behind my back…I took it as betrayal. At the time, I didn’t realize that you were just trying to protect me.”

  ***

  Nine Years Earlier

  Mom was out per usual, so I would be sneaking out with Justin to go to the little red theater. This week, they were playing an Italian film called Si Vive Una Volta Sola that I had been wanting to see.

  As he always did, Justin met me at the corner.

  “We’d better hurry up,” he said. “We don’t want to miss the nine o’clock show.”

  “We’re good on time. Relax.”

  We started the walk to the bus stop when I realized I didn’t have my bus pass. It was inside of a hoodie that I knew I’d left inside Justin’s house when we were doing homework the other day.

  “Shoot. We need to go inside your house. My bus pass is in the pocket of my jacket that I left in your dining room.”

  He waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll just pay for you.”

  “No, Justin. That’s stupid. We still have plenty of time.”

  I started walking back toward his house.

  He grabbed my arm. “Stop. I have it covered.”

  “I’m going inside.”

  An uncharacteristically panicked look flashed across his face. “We can’t.”

  “Why?”

  As was usual every other week, his mother, Carol, was on an out of town business trip. I couldn’t understand why he was so insistent that we not go inside his house.

  He looked like he was struggling to come up with an excuse. His eyes moved from side to side, and my instinct just told me something was off.

  “What are you keeping from me?”

  “Nothing. We just can’t go in there right now.”

  “I don’t understand. Your father’s car is outside. He’s home. Why can’t I just run in and get my jacket?”

  “My father would get mad if he knew I was going out with you. I told him I was going out with Rob.”

  “I don’t believe that. Your father knows we hang out. He’s cool with it.”

  “Not at night.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “Patch, will you just trust me?”

  I suddenly ran toward the front door and knocked frantically. There was no answer for almost a full minute before Elton Banks finally answered the door.

  “Hi. Justin and I were heading to the movies, but I need my bus pass. It’s in my jacket that I left in your dining room. I just need to come in and get it.”

  Justin’s dad looked over at him worriedly. Meanwhile, Justin’s face was practically white.

  When Mr. Banks hesitated to let me in, I pushed my way past him. “I just need my jacket.” After entering the dining room, I spotted my sweatshirt hanging on the chair. Something else caught my eye: my mother’s faux fur coat.

  What was she doing here?

  It didn’t take me long to figure it out. Storming upstairs, I knew exactly where I was going to find her. I burst through Justin’s parents’ bedroom to find my mother frantically trying to put on her clothes.

  Covering my mouth with my hand, I shook my head in disbelief before running back down the stairs and out the front door.

  Justin ran after me. “Patch, wait. Please!”

  I turned around and spewed, “You knew about this?” You KNEW that my mother was here messing around with your father? How long has this been going on?”

  “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

  “I can’t believe this!”

  “I’m sorry, Patch. I’m so sorry.”

  I ran back into my house and slammed the door, unsure of what hurt more: my mother’s actions or Justin’s keeping it all from me.

  CHAPTER 6

  The hurt in his eyes was palpable. Justin leaned his head back against the couch as I struggled to find the words.

  “It was wrong of me to take my anger out on you. My mother was basically an irresponsible child, a selfish person. She’d had so many different boyfriends, affairs with married men. It never really surprised me that she would stoop to that level with your father. At the time, though, I just felt betrayed by everyone, including you. But I was wrong to punish you in any way for their actions.”

  He rubbed his eyes warily and turned to me. “What do you want to know, Amelia?”

  “How did it start? How long did you know about them?”

  He turned his body toward me and wrapped his arm around the back of the couch. “I’m pretty sure my father was the one who pursued her. He used to always ask me questions about Patricia before they got together.”

  “Really?”

  “What I know now that I didn’t know then was that my parents had an open marriage. My mother went on way too many business trips, if you know what I mean. At the time, though, I hadn’t figured it all out yet. I came home from school unexpectedly early one day and found your mother there with him. I walked in on them having sex.”

  I shuddered. “Oh my God.”

  Justin grabbed his beer and took a long swig. “My father sat me down later that night and explained to me that he believed my mother had been having an affair too, and that he and Patricia had just started seeing each other. Your mother made me swear not to tell you. She said you wouldn’t be able to handle it, that your relationship with her was already tarnished enough and that you were under a lot of stress that I didn’t know about. She somehow convinced me that telling you would ruin your life. She told me if I really cared about you, I wouldn’t tell you. I believed what she told me.”

  “There was nothing I ever kept from you, Justin. There was nothing going on with me. She was manipulating you to keep her antics a secret from me.”

  “I wanted to tell you, but the more time that passed, the harder it was to admit that I’d been keeping something from you for so long. So, I chose not to say anything. I was only trying to protect you.”

  “Justin, I—”

  “Let me finish,” he interrupted.

  “Okay.”

  “We both came from broken homes, but from the moment I met you, my world seemed a little less broken. I always felt like my job was to somehow protect you. And my keeping what they were doing from you was only an extension of that. It wasn’t meant to be deceptive.”

  I get it now.

  There was so much I was embarrassed to admit in regards to my feelings all those years ago, but I couldn’t hold anything back. He was giving me this one chance to explain myself. Taking a long gulp of my wine, I prepared to lay it all out on the line.

  “I ran away because I couldn’t handle my emotions. It was more than just your keeping that secret from me. It was what it represented to me, that there would be other things in the future that you would keep from me, too.
” I paused. Just say it. “I was developing really strong feelings for you that went beyond our friendship, and I found myself unable to handle them. I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid to scare you away. It just felt like I was somehow destined to get hurt, so I chose to move away before that happened. It was my own way of controlling it. It was rash and foolish.”

  That was the first time I had ever admitted to having feelings beyond friendship for him.

  He just looked at me for a bit then said, “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt, even before everything went down with our parents?”

  “I didn’t think you felt the same way about me, and I didn’t want to freak you out. I didn’t want to lose you.”

  “So, you ran away and lost me anyway. How did that make sense?”

  “It somehow felt like if I left before the worst happened, it wouldn’t hurt as badly. The bottom line, though, is that I was a dumb, hormonal, fifteen-year-old girl. It was the wrong decision. Running away to live with my father was a bad way of handling it. You never gave me the time of day to tell you how sorry I was once I came to my senses that following year. So, I need to say it now. I am so sorry if my leaving like that hurt you in any way.”

  “Hurt me?” He let out a slight angry laugh then shocked me with what he said next. “It changed me. I loved you, Amelia. I was in love with you.” Justin ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “How the fuck did you not know that?”

  His words felt like they’d sliced through my heart, leaving me unable to respond. I never in a million years expected him to say that. I knew he cared about me, but I never knew he had loved me like I loved him.

  He had loved me?

  He continued, “I would have died for you back then. When you left, it felt like my world ended. Besides your grandmother, you were the only one I could count on. You were always there…until you weren’t anymore. Losing you taught me not to count on anyone but myself. It shaped who am I today…and that’s not necessarily a good thing.”

  It hurt so badly to hear him say that. “I’m sorry.”