Christopher's Journey: Sometimes it takes being lost to find yourself

  Chapter 20

  "It's so nice to have the family home for supper." Mrs. Browley exclaimed, sitting down after placing the dishes of food onto the table.

  "It still feels weird not having you here, Hanna." Priscilla added. "You too, Chris."

  "I take it since Chris has his own farm now, that it's up to you and me to work ours again, huh pa?"

  "That it is, Mason. We've done it before, we certainly can handle it again." Mr. Browley winked at his son. "I guess you'd be joining me this year on my trip to Shorlin, as well. Chris, you can follow us but you'd have to put your crops in your own wagon. I don't doubt that Mr. Kinsley would let you borrow his until you can get a schooner of your own."

  "It's too bad you can't go to Shorlin sooner than the harvest." Chris exclaimed, giving his father in law a side ways glance. "For the bloom of the garden."

  Mrs. Browley gave a confused look as Mr. Browley's eyes showed that he understood what Chris was hinting towards.

  "Who says we can't go?" Mr. Browley said, scratching his chin in thought.

  "What on Earth are you two talking about?" Mrs. Browley finally asked.

  "There's just something in Shorlin that I've always wanted to share with you. It seems as good a time as any." Mr. Browley's eyes lit up.

  "Well, I declare. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. We have so much that needs to be tended to here. We can't just pick up and leave."

  "Ma, it would be a wonderful time for you and pa and your anniversary is in two weeks, isn't it?" Hanna piped up turning to her mother. "You two have worked so hard, you deserve it."

  "What do you say? I can't believe I didn't think of it myself." Mr. Browley smiled at Chris.

  "What would we do with the children?" Mrs. Browley's brow crinkled with concern.

  "We could stay here with them." Chris said nudging his wife's elbow.

  "Of course." Hanna replied.

  "Oh, I don't know... should we? Could we?" Mrs. Browley said but more as if she was thinking out loud.

  "You are certainly worth holding off on the plowing." Mr. Browley winked at his wife. "The children will be safe. You know they are older and more mature than we realize." turning his wink to Chris as he quoted his words.

  Mrs. Browley threw her hands up. "Ok. Why not. It sounds wonderful George."

  “Bye ma, bye pa.” Priscilla shouted out as she, Mason, Chris and Hanna stood near the road watching the wagon get smaller and smaller.

  “I cannot believe she agreed to go.” Hanna exclaimed, taking Chris’ hand as they walked back up to the house. “What made you bring it up?”

  “Oh, I was remembering a conversation your pa and I had when we were in Shorlin. His favorite table at Miss Molly’s Inn overlooks an enormous hedge and flower garden. He made mention to me that he had always wanted to see it in bloom but never seemed to be able to get up there in the spring with your ma. I had to remind him, then, that their children aren’t children anymore and that he should bring her up there in the spring. Just him mentioning Shorlin brought it to my mind.”

  “That was nice. I cannot remember ever when ma and pa were able to just pick up and go off like this. They will have a glorious time.”

  “I can’t believe how much has changed since then.” Chris recalled not quite realizing he said it out loud.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Then, during harvest, I still had the feeling that I wanted to leave this place. That I wanted to go home. I didn’t think you’d ever talk to me again and I was growing weary of the work. I still felt like I was in the wrong place.”

  “You do not feel that way any longer, do you?” Hanna asked.

  Chris stopped walking, turned to Hanna and scooped her into his arms. “Of course not. I have everything I’ve ever wanted wrapped in my arms right now.”

  “Oh, Christopher.” she said with sincerity but with a hint of embarrassment.

  Chris kissed her cheek, gave her one last squeeze then released her. As they made their way back up to the house, his thoughts rummaged through the rest of the time he’d spent in Shorlin. He had not forgotten about his near theft and how he felt in the midst of it. He knew it was wrong, he knew the family would disapprove or even disown him and he knew it was not the way, not for him any longer. He also remembered the feeling of adrenaline he felt when he was contemplating taking the broach. The rush of how he would have probably gotten away with it. He felt the tug of war within his soul between Satan and God. God’s voice was louder, stronger and made more sense. He had restrained but what if he hadn’t? The thoughts were still there. Would they ever go away?

  He shook his head as if to toss the thoughts out. “Well, I suppose we should get to work, Mason.” Chris said when he entered the parlor. “We have some cows to milk and animals to feed. I thought it would be a nice surprise for your pa if we started clearing the fields, too.”

  “Oh, I suppose.” Mason grumbled.

  “This is your ma and pa’s vacation, not ours. There’s still plenty to do.” Chris reminded him.

  “Can I go to your place and feed Gus and Gertie?” Priscilla asked excitedly.

  “Well, I fed them already this morning, but if you’d like, we can head out there later to visit them. I would like to put them out to pastor for a bit, anyway, this afternoon.”

  “You can help me get dinner prepared.” Hanna said to her little sister.

  The girls headed to the kitchen while Chris and Mason made their way outside. The weather was quite different this year than it had been the year before. When Chris arrived at this place, it was unseasonably hot for May. This year the mornings were cool and still threatened frost. The family had not even put the garden in yet with fear that they would not survive if rimed. The kitchen was littered with starter pots to assure timely harvest when it was safe to put them in the ground.

  Even in the late morning, the barn held a chill. Chris was thankful that he’d remembered his heavy coat as he kneeled on the tiny stool to milk the first cow.

  He’d only been gone from this place a little over a month and he would have said that he disliked the work around the Browley farm, but being back made him realize how much he missed it. It felt as though this family was truly his and it had been so his entire life.

  Although he imagined it was nothing good, he often wondered where he would be and what he would be doing right now if he’d not come to this time. Would he have found a job? Would he have a place to live? Would he be living at all? The gang surely would have found him and disposed of him by now. He had no place to hide. Perhaps this travel was God’s way of saving his life. The Lord already knew what it took Chris several months to realize. He saved Chris’ life in more ways than man can count.

  “We got a letter from ma!” Priscilla ran in the house waving an envelope around. “She must have written it the very first day they got there for it to be here already.”

  “Well open it and find out.” Hanna said dusting flour from her hands. “Mason, we got a letter from ma and pa.” She bellowed into the other room.

  The four of them sat around the table in the warm kitchen fragrant with the smell of freshly baked bread and sauced apples.

  Priscilla, as excited as she was, still took careful precision as she slowly tore the edge of the envelope, gave it a quick puff of air and slid out the folded piece of paper.

  My dearest children,

  We arrived in Shorlin yesterday. I cannot quite determine when I have been here last but it sure has grown. The hustle and bustle of the streets is overwhelming at times but seems to melt away when your pa and I stroll through the lovely gardens. As some of you know, Miss Molly is just as charming as can be and has made us feel more than welcome. Thelma is the most superb cook, sometimes putting my cooking to shame.

  The ride here was lovely with all of the fresh colors and smells. The attractiveness of it all was minimal compared to the landscape
of the garden, however. I cannot remember seeing so many glorious colors in one place. It’s hard to take in all at once. I am thrilled that I agreed to come.

  I trust everything is going well for you all and I miss each and every one of you.

  Love from your ma and pa.

  Priscilla folded the piece of paper and carefully placed it back into the envelope. A faint smile spread across everyone’s faces as if they felt the same emotions. Happy that their parents were having a splendid time but missing them terribly.

  “It’s only been a few days but it seems bazaar not having them around. I don’t think I’ve been away from ma this long my entire life.” Priscilla said, being the first to speak.

  “She’s having a wonderful time, though.” Hanna responded. “We should be happy for them and looking forward to hearing of their adventure when they return.”

  “Well said.” Chris beamed. “Now how about some supper. The smell of that pie is making my mouth water.” The words surprised him as he noticed he sounded more and more like Mr. Browley every day.

  “I cannot believe how chilly it’s been getting at night. Here it is, nearly summer and we still have to build a fire at night.” Hanna said as she slipped under the chilly blankets, snuggling closer to Chris.

  “I was just thinking that earlier this week. This time last year was abnormally hot, now it seems it’s abnormally cool. It’s common for the weather in these parts to be uncommon, though.” Chris responded.

  Hanna rose her head from her pillow. “That’s true. How do you know what’s common in these parts if you’ve only been here one year?”

  Chris gulped. He had not caught his slip. How could he explain how he knew the weather patterns of Coar without revealing his secret?

  “Tell me the truth, Christopher. Have you regained your full memory yet? Where you are from and how you got here?”

  “I still have no recollection of how I got here but I have learned over the last year of why.”

  Hanna’s eyes were full of curiosity, asking for an explanation without a single word.

  “I was not on a wholesome path before.” Chris began. “I truly believe that God sent me here to find myself, find my worth and yes.. to even find you. I have learned so much being here and have grown to love it that I have no desire to return.”

  Hanna laid her head back down onto her pillow, seeming satisfied with Chris’ answer. He couldn’t quite figure out how he kept getting away with the dance around answers he continued to give her. Even though he had the desire and the need to tell her the truth, he froze whenever the opportunity came to the surface.

  “Well, no matter where you are from, I’m glad you ended up here. I’m glad that I saw in you what you found within yourself and I am glad that I fell in love with you. I do love you, Christopher.”

  “..and I love you. I have since the day I first saw you. Do you believe in love at first sight?” Chris asked.

  Hanna thought a moment then slowly began shaking her head. “No, I don’t. I believe you can be smitten with someone at first sight but to truly love, you need to know them inside and out. You need to learn their mind and their soul. I don’t know what kind of sense that makes but that is how I see it.”

  “It makes perfect sense. I guess I never thought of it that way before. I do love you but I can see how I could have been just smitten with you at first. The sight of you took my breath away and I had never felt that way about anyone before, that’s all I knew, then. How did you get so insightful? Sometimes I wonder how a thug like myself ended up with someone as perfect as you.”

  “Oh, I’m far from perfect. What makes you consider yourself a thug? I’m not even sure what that word means. You are kind and generous and you love with all of your heart. Not only me but this entire family. I can see how rough you were around the edges when you first arrived but I now see that you were just scared and confused. I would probably have behaved the same way if I woke up alone in a strange place. You’re a good man Christopher and I am proud to call you my husband.”

  Chris felt his body well up with emotion. He had never experienced such admiration and praise his entire life. Surely, Hanna was an angel sent to him from Heaven.

  He reached his arm over and wrapped it around her taking in her warmth and her scent. He felt the blessings engulf his existence and even though he was grateful for them, he felt overwhelmed.

  “I don’t know what else God could possibly give me that I don’t have already.” He whispered into her ear.

  “My prayer is that he blesses us with a family. Oh, how I’ve always dreamed of having a child.” Hanna responded. “Have you ever thought of that?”

  “I actually have.” Chris responded immediately. “I’ve thought of having a daughter so that I may carry on the name of my grandmother.”

  “I’ve thought that, too, but of my mother. I always thought that with the name would also come with the inheritance of her courage and strength. Her loving nature and warmth.” Hanna trailed off.

  “If we had a daughter, she’d get all of those traits but from her mother.” Chris added.

  They both smiled at each other’s shadowed silhouettes then turned back to stare at the ceiling. Chris could feel the weight of his eyelids consume him. He finally gave in and closed them. Without any warning or realization that he’d been thinking about it, he was jolted awake by a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.

  “What’s wrong?” Hanna asked in a groggy voice.

  “I just remembered that I left our horses out in the pasture. I cannot believe that I neglected to bring them into the barn. How could I have been so clumsy and careless?”

  “I’m sure they’ll be fine out in pasture overnight. Gus and Gertie are strong horses. They keep themselves warm, they have plenty of food out there and they have each other.” Hanna reassured him.

  “I would feel better if I went over and put them in.” Chris said pulling back the covers.

  “Chris, it’s in the middle of the night. By the time you got out there, herd them in and return, it would be almost time to let them back out. They are fine. Lay back down.” She said patting his chest. “Let’s try to get back to sleep.”

  Chris was relieved to find the morning warmer than it had been all month. He stepped out onto the porch with his morning cup of coffee and breathed in the light scents. The maple and cottonwood trees were in full bloom as the morning doves sang their beautiful song. The land seemed as relieved for the mild morning as Chris was. The sky speckled with hungry bees, colorful butterflies and birds scouring the land for bits of grass and hay.

  Chris felt a presence behind him and turned to see Hanna. “Oh, what a beautiful morning. I told you that the horses would be alright out in the pasture. I’m sure they are loving this weather as much as the wild animals seem to be.”

  “I know, you were right. I just felt terrible that I had neglected them. Not having a roof over their head all night. I do still wish I had remembered to bring them in...”

  Chris’ words were interrupted by the rapid sound of a fast moving wagon. He noticed the cloud of stirred up road dust before he could recognize who was quickly approaching the house.

  “That’s Mr. Kinsley.” Hanna said, squinting her eyes to see better. “Something is wrong.”

  Mr. Kinsley reached the house as fast as lightening, pulling on the reins with all of his strength causing the horses to abruptly stop, almost flinging him right off the bench.

  “FIRE!!” he shouted.

  “CHRIS, HANNA!! YER BARN IS ON FIRE!!!”