The Works of Henry Fielding, vol. 11

  Chapter vi.

  _An account of the wheel of fortune, with a method of preparing a spiritfor this world._

  We now proceeded on our journey, without staying to see whether hefulfilled his word or no; and without encountering anything worthmentioning, came to the place where the spirits on their passage to theother world were obliged to decide by lot the station in which every onewas to act there. Here was a monstrous wheel, infinitely larger thanthose in which I had formerly seen lottery-tickets deposited. This wascalled the WHEEL OF FORTUNE. The goddess herself was present. She wasone of the most deformed females I ever beheld; nor could I helpobserving the frowns she expressed when any beautiful spirit of her ownsex passed by her, nor the affability which smiled in her countenanceon the approach of any handsome male spirits. Hence I accounted for thetruth of an observation I had often made on earth, that nothing is morefortunate than handsome men, nor more unfortunate than handsome women.The reader may be perhaps pleased with an account of the whole method ofequipping a spirit for his entrance into the flesh.

  First, then, he receives from a very sage person, whose look muchresembled that of an apothecary (his warehouse likewise bearing anaffinity to an apothecary's shop), a small phial inscribed, THE PATHETICPOTION, to be taken just before you are born. This potion is a mixtureof all the passions, but in no exact proportion, so that sometimes onepredominates, and sometimes another; nay, often in the hurry of makingup, one particular ingredient is, as we were informed, left out. Thespirit receiveth at the same time another medicine called the NOUSPHORICDECOCTION, of which he is to drink _ad libitum_. This decoction is anextract from the faculties of the mind, sometimes extremely strong andspirituous, and sometimes altogether as weak; for very little care istaken in the preparation. This decoction is so extremely bitter andunpleasant, that, notwithstanding its wholesomeness, several spiritswill not be persuaded to swallow a drop of it, but throw it away, orgive it to any other who will receive it; by which means some who werenot disgusted by the nauseousness drank double and treble portions. Iobserved a beautiful young female, who, tasting it immediately fromcuriosity, screwed up her face and cast it from her with great disdain,whence advancing presently to the wheel, she drew a coronet, which sheclapped up so eagerly that I could not distinguish the degree; andindeed I observed several of the same sex, after a very small sip, throwthe bottles away.

  As soon as the spirit is dismissed by the operator, or apothecary, he isat liberty to approach the wheel, where he hath a right to extract asingle lot: but those whom Fortune favours she permits sometimessecretly to draw three or four. I observed a comical kind of figure whodrew forth a handful, which, when he opened, were a bishop, a general, aprivy-counsellor, a player, and a poet-laureate, and, returning thethree first, he walked off, smiling, with the two last.

  Every single lot contained two more articles, which were generallydisposed so as to render the lots as equal as possible to each other; onone was written, _earl_, _riches_, _health_, _disquietude_; on another,_cobbler_, _sickness_, _good-humour_; on a third, _poet_, _contempt_,_self-satisfaction_; on a fourth, _general_, _honour_, _discontent_; ona fifth, _cottage_, _happy love_; on a sixth, _coach and six_, _impotentjealous husband_; on a seventh, _prime minister_, _disgrace_; on aneighth, _patriot_, _glory_; on a ninth, _philosopher_, _poverty_,_ease_; on a tenth, _merchant_, _riches_, _care_. And indeed the wholeseemed to contain such a mixture of good and evil, that it would havepuzzled me which to chuse. I must not omit here that in every lot wasdirected whether the drawer should marry or remain in celibacy, themarried lots being all marked with a large pair of horns.

  We were obliged, before we quitted this place, to take each of us anemetic from the apothecary, which immediately purged us of all ourearthly passions, and presently the cloud forsook our eyes, as it doththose of AEneas in Virgil, when removed by Venus; and we discerned thingsin a much clearer light than before. We began to compassionate thosespirits who were making their entry into the flesh, whom we had tillthen secretly envied, and to long eagerly for those delightful plainswhich now opened themselves to our eyes, and to which we now hastenedwith the utmost eagerness. On our way we met with several spirits withvery dejected countenances; but our expedition would not suffer us toask any questions.

  At length we arrived at the gate of Elysium. Here was a prodigious crowdof spirits waiting for admittance, some of whom were admitted, and somewere rejected; for all were strictly examined by the porter, whom I soondiscovered to be the celebrated judge Minos.