The Air He Breathes

  Tanner gave me his friendly smirk and let me go. He lifted two of the shots I poured. He handed one to me, and we downed them together. Then he lifted the other two, and we downed those also. I smiled. “You know, all four of those were for me.”

  “I know. Just saving your liver a little.” I watched as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a quarter. The same quarter he would always flip between his fingers nonstop. It was a weird habit that he’d been doing way before we even met.

  “I see you still have that coin of yours.” I laughed.

  “Never leave home without it,” he replied with a chuckle before placing it back into his pocket.

  I studied his face, concern filling me up inside. He probably didn’t know it, but sometimes his eyes looked so sad. “How are you?”

  His shoulders rose and fell. “It’s just nice to see your face again. It’s been a while, buddy. Plus, you kind of just vanished after…” His words faded off. Everyone’s words always faded off when they were about to mention Steven’s death. I thought that was a good thing.

  “I’m back.” I nodded and poured us four more shots. “Emma and I are here to stay. We just needed a bit of air, that’s all.”

  “You still driving that piece of shit car?” he asked.

  “I definitely am.” I bit my bottom lip. “I hit a dog the other day.”

  His mouth dropped open. “No!”

  “Yup. The dog’s okay, but my crappy car hiccupped and ran into the thing.”

  “I’ll check it out for you,” he offered.

  I shrugged. “It’s okay. I can pretty much walk everywhere now that I’m in town. No big deal.”

  “It will be a big deal when winter comes along.”

  “Don’t worry, Tanner Michael Chase, it will be all right.”

  A smirk found his lips. “You know I hate when you use my full name.”

  I laughed. “That’s exactly why I do it.”

  “Well, we should make a toast,” Tanner offered. Faye came crashing into the room and lifted one of the shots high.

  “I’m all about toasts when tequila is involved.” She giggled. “Or vodka, whiskey, rum, rubbing alcohol…”

  I laughed and the three of us held the shot glasses in the air. Tanner cleared his throat. “To old friends making new beginnings. We missed you and Emma, Liz, and we are so damn happy to have you back. May the next few months be easy on you, and may you remember that you’re never alone.”

  With one swift movement, we downed the shots.

  “So, random question. I want to change all the locks in the place just for a new start. Do you know anyone who can do that?”

  “Definitely, Sam can.”

  “Sam?”

  “You know the guy I fired so I could hire you? The socially awkward kid at the café? His dad has a shop that Sam works at part-time for that kind of stuff.”

  “Seriously? You think he’ll help me out?”

  “Of course. I’ll tell him he has to, or else I’ll fire him.” Faye winked. “He’s weird as all get out, but he’s good at his job, and quick.”

  “Since when do you like quick guys?” I joked.

  “Sometimes a girl just needs a dick, a beer, and reality television all within thirty minutes. Never underestimate the power of a quickie.” Faye poured herself another shot and danced away.

  “Your best friend might be the first woman I’ve ever met who actually thinks like a man,” Tanner joked.

  “Did you know that she and Matty are—”

  “Fucking? Absolutely. After you left, she needed a girlfriend to complain to in person, and somehow she decided I looked like I had a vagina. She showed up at the auto shop every day with a story about Fatty Matty—which by the way, made me extremely uncomfortable.”

  I giggled. “You mean you aren’t interested in her nicknames for her sexlationships?”

  He leaned in. “Flakey Frankie? Is that a real thing?”

  “Faye’s far from a liar.”

  “Well, that’s unfortunate for poor Frankie.” I smiled, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because Tanner reminded me of some of the best memories. He leaped onto the countertop and patted a spot beside him, which I accepted. “So, how’s Miss Emma doing?”

  “Sassy as ever.” I sighed, thinking of my babe.

  “Just like her mother.” He laughed.

  I lightly shoved him in his shoulder. “I still think she received the loud sass from her father.”

  “True, he was quite the handful. Remember when we went out for Halloween and Steven thought he could fight anyone because he was dressed as a ninja? He kept yelling at anyone and everyone he came across, but instead of being an awesome real life ninja, he ended up with a black eye and got us kicked out of three bars.” We both laughed together, remembering how much of a terrible drunk my husband had been.

  “If I remember correctly, you weren’t the best influence on him. You always drank a bit too much and became the jerk that egged on the people who always ended up beating up my husband.”

  “Truth. I’m not the nicest person when I have one too many drinks, but Steven understood that. Damn. I miss the asshole.” He sighed. We stopped laughing, my eyes growing heavy. His eyes grew heavy, too, and we sat silent, missing him together.

  “Well,” Tanner said, changing the subject. “The landscape around this place looks like complete shit. I can come by and cut the grass for you if you want. And maybe toss up the fence to keep the place a bit more private.”

  “Oh no. Actually, I think I’m going to take care of it all. I’m only working part-time, so it will give me something to do until I find more steady work.”

  “Have you thought about getting back into interior design?”

  The question of the week. I shrugged. “I haven’t really thought much about anything for the past year.”

  “Completely understandable. Are you sure you don’t want a hand around this place? It’s no big deal for me to help you out.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure. There comes a point when I have to start doing things for myself, you know?”

  “I hear ya. But I think you should stop by my shop on Sunday. I have something I want to give you.”

  I smiled. “A gift?”

  “Something like that.”

  Nudging him in the shoulder, I told him we could meet up on Thursday night if Emma could join us.

  He nodded, then lowered his voice, staring my way. “What’s the hardest part?”

  That was a very easy question for me to answer. “There are times when Emma does the funniest thing, and I’ll call into the other room for Steven to come see her. Then I pause, and remember.” The hardest part about losing someone you love is the fact that you also lose yourself. I placed my thumb between my teeth and chewed on my nail. “Enough depressing stuff. What about you? Still dating Patty?”

  He cringed. “We don’t really talk anymore.”

  I wasn’t surprised. Tanner was as into commitment as Faye was.

  “Well, aren’t we just two sad, single peas in a pod.”

  With a laugh, he lifted the bottle of tequila, pouring us another shot. “Here’s to us.”

  The rest of the night kind of faded together. I remembered laughing at things that probably weren’t funny, crying over things that weren’t even sad, and having the best night I’d had in quite some time. When I woke up the next morning, I was lying in my bed, not exactly sure how I got there. I hadn’t slept in the bed since the accident. I reached for Steven’s pillow and hugged it to my body. With a deep inhale of the cotton pillow case, my eyes faded closed. Even if I didn’t feel it yet, there was no denying the fact that this was home. This was my new normal.

  Chapter Six

  Elizabeth

  Sam stopped by to change out the locks around the house later that week. I knew Faye called him creepy, but there was something so easy and friendly about him. He had blond hair that he spiked and rectangle glasses that somewhat hid his sweet, brown stare. His voice was always l
ow when he spoke to me, and so sweet. If he thought he offended me—which he never did—he always kind of backtracked and apologized with a bit of a stutter.

  “Some of these locks are extremely crappy, but others are in pretty great shape, actually, Elizabeth. Are you sure you want to change them all up?” he asked. “Sorry, that was a stupid question. You wouldn’t have asked me here if you didn’t need them changed. So sorry,” he apologized.

  “No, it’s fine.” I smiled. “I just want a completely new start, that’s all.”

  He pushed his glasses up his nose and nodded. “Of course. Well, I can be done here in a few hours or so.”

  “Perfect.”

  “Oh! Also, let me show you something.” He ran to his car and came back with a tiny thing in his hand. “My dad also just got a new security camera bundle deal if you’re interested. The cameras are this small and could easily be hidden out of sight. A few cameras could go up around the place for extra security. I know if I was a pretty woman living alone with my daughter, I would want the extra protection.”

  I smiled, this time warily. “I think I’ll hold off on that for a while. Thanks again, Sam.”

  “No problem at all.” He laughed. “The only person to buy these so far was Tanner, so I doubt they will be big sellers like my dad hoped for.”

  He worked fast and was good at what he did. Before I knew it, all of the locks in the house were brand spanking new. “Anything else I can help ya with?” he asked.

  “Nope! That’s it. I better get going actually. I have to be at the café in about ten minutes, and my car pretty much gave up on life, so I have to walk there.”

  “No way. I’ll give you a ride.”

  “No, no. I can walk.”

  “It’s already starting to drizzle with rain. You don’t want to get caught in that. It’s really no big deal.”

  My nose scrunched up. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course.” He held the passenger door of his truck open. “No problem at all.”

  As we drove into town, Sam asked me why I thought Faye didn’t like him¸ but I tried my best to explain that Faye hardly liked anyone at first. “Give her some time, you’ll grow on her.”

  “She said I have all the characteristics of a psychopath,” he joked.

  “Yeah. She’s a bitch like that.”

  “And your best friend.”

  I smirked. “The best friend I’ve ever had.”

  The rest of the way into town, Sam pointed out everyone we saw, telling me anything and everything he knew about them. He told me since most people thought he was weird, they ignored him, but that made it easy for him to eavesdrop on all the gossip around the town. “That right there is Lucy,” Sam said, pointing toward a girl on her cell phone. “She’s the best speller in town. Even won the annual spelling bee contest every year for the past five years. And over there is Monica. Her pops is a recovering alcoholic, but between you and me I know he drinks out by Bonnie Deen’s house on Friday nights. And over there is Jason. He kicked my ass a few months ago because he thought I called him somethin’ I didn’t call him. He apologized, though, saying he was on some bad drugs.”

  “Wow, you really do know everything about everyone.”

  He nodded. “You’ll have to let me take you out some time to a town meeting or something. Then I can show you the craziness that happens around this place.”

  I smiled. “That would be awesome.” As we pulled up to the café, my gut tightened as I stared across the street. “What about him?” I asked, seeing Tristan running down the street with his headphones on. When he reached Mr. Henson’s store, he took off his headphones and stepped inside. “What’s his story?”

  “You mean Tristan? He’s an asshole. And a bit crazy too.”

  “Crazy?”

  “Well, he works for Mr. Henson. You have to be a bit of a nut job to deal with him. Mr. Henson practices voodoo and stuff in his back room. It’s freaky. It’s a good thing Tanner has been trying to get the shop shut down.”

  “What?”

  “You didn’t hear? Tanner wants to expand his auto shop, and Mr. Henson’s store is the only thing keeping him from doing so. He’s been trying to start protests to get Mr. Henson to give up his store. He says it’s a waste of space since nobody ever goes into the place.”

  I couldn’t help but wonder what the story behind Mr. Henson’s store truly was, and I couldn’t help but wonder why Tristan found himself working there.

  During my shift, every now and then I would glance across the street at Mr. Henson’s shop where Tristan would be moving things around. The store was packed with all kinds of magical things. Crystals, tarot cards, wands…

  “Do you have a vibrator?”

  As the words left my best friend’s mouth, I was snapped from my mental wandering. I almost dropped the three plates of burgers and fries I was trying to balance. “Faye!” I whisper-shouted, my cheeks turning red instantly.

  She glanced around the café, shocked by my response to her not-so-appropriate question. “What? You act as if I just asked if you had herpes. Vibrators are a normal thing nowadays, Liz, and I was just thinking the other day about your poor, dry, grandma vagina.”

  My face was on fire. “How thoughtful of you.” I laughed, setting the plates in front of three elderly ladies who were giving me the rudest looks of distaste. “Anything else I can get you?” I asked.

  “Maybe your friend could use a filter.”

  “Trust me, I’ve tried.” I smiled and walked over to Faye, begging her to keep the vagina talk on the quiet side.

  “Listen, Liz, all I’m saying is it’s been a long time since you had any action. What is it like down there? Is it kind of like George of the Jungle meets The Golden Girls? Is there more hair down below than up here?” she asked, tapping my head.

  “I’m not answering that.” She reached into her apron pocket and pulled out her little black book, which had always brought about trouble in the past. “What are you doing?” I asked warily.

  “I’m finding a penis to help you tonight.”

  “Faye. I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of emotional connection with someone.”

  “What the hell does sex have to do with emotions?” she wondered, completely serious. I didn’t even know how to tackle that question. “Anyway, I know this guy who can help you clean up your garden of weeds. His name is Edward. He’s a creative genius when it comes to that stuff. Once, he drew hearts down there on me for Valentine’s.”

  “You’re so disturbing.”

  She smiled. “I know. But I can set up an appointment with Edward Scissorhands for you, and then you can pick any guy in my book to have a nice, easy, one-night stand with.”

  “I don’t do one-night stands.”

  “Okay. You can lie down to do it, if you want.” She smirked. “But seriously, Liz. Have you thought about dating? Just getting out there around a few guys. It doesn’t have to be anything serious, but I think it could be good for you. I don’t want you to stay stuck in neutral.”

  “I’m not stuck in neutral,” I argued, slightly offended. “It’s just—I have a daughter. And it’s only been a year since Steven’s death.”

  Wow.

  I was somewhat impressed by how it had rolled off my tongue without any backlash of emotion.

  “I didn’t mean it in a harsh way. You know I love you, and you know how much Steven meant to me.”

  “I know...”

  “Look, I’m a womanwhore, but even womanwhores get their hearts broken sometimes, and for me, when things are hard to move on from, sex always helps.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

  “I understand, sweetie. But if there comes a point when you feel as if you need my little book, you just let me know.”

  I smiled. “Your book seems so small now. I could’ve sworn it was bigger before.”

  Her hand dove into her apron again, and she pulled out two more books.
“Don’t be silly. I was just trying to seem ladylike by only displaying one at a time.”

  During my break, curiosity got the best of me, and I found myself stepping foot into Mr. Henson’s shop. Within a few seconds, it was easy to tell that Mr. Henson pretty much sold anything and everything magical. Half of the store was a coffee shop while the other half was set up like a closet that was filled with things I’d seen in many supernatural stories.

  As I entered, the bell dinged above the door, causing Mr. Henson and Tristan to look at one another with confusion in their eyes. When they turned my way, I tried my best to act normal as I explored the store, even though I could still feel their eyes on me.

  I paused for one moment, reaching to the top shelf of one of the bookcases for a book. A book of spells? Okay then. The binding was tied together with string, and it was covered in dust. I picked up another book. Both pieces looked older than dirt, but still somewhat beautiful. Dad had always loved finding old gems like those in vintage shops. He’d had a huge collection of old books in his study that were in different languages or on subjects he hadn’t any idea about, but he just loved how the covers felt and looked.

  “How much for these two?” I asked Mr. Henson. He remained silent. I arched an eyebrow. “I’m sorry. Are you closed?” When my stare met Tristan’s, I held the books to my chest and my cheeks blushed over. “Hi.”

  Mr. Henson cut into the conversation, which was probably for the best.

  “Oh! No, no. We’re open. We just don’t get that many visitors. Especially visitors as easy to look at as you are,” Mr. Henson said, sitting down on the edge of the countertop. “What’s your name, darling?” His comment broke my stare away from Tristan, and I cleared my throat, somewhat pleased by the distraction.