The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10)

  Peronella _hid a yong man her friend and Lover, under a great brewingFat, upon the sodaine returning home of her Husband; who told her, thathee had solde the saide Fat, and brought him that bought it, to carryit away._ Peronella _replyed, that shee had formerly solde it untoanother, who was nowe underneath it, to see whether it were whole andsound, or no. Whereupon, he being come forth from under it; she causedher Husband to make it neate and cleane, and so the last buyer carriedit away._

  The Second Novell.

  _Wherein is declared, what hard and narrow shifts and distresses, suchas bee seriously linked in Love, are many times enforced to undergo:According as their owne wit, and capacitie of their surprizers, drivethem to in extremities._

  Not without much laughter and good liking, was the Tale of Madame_?millia_ listened unto, and both the prayers commended to be sound andsoveraigne: but it being ended, the King commaunded _Philostratus_,that hee should follow next in order, whereupon thus he began.

  Deare Ladies, the deceites used by men towards your sexe, butespecially Husbands, have bene so great and many, as when it hathsometime happened, or yet may, that husbands are requited in theself-same kinde: you need not finde fault at any such accident, eitherby knowledge thereof afterward, or hearing the same reported by anyone; but rather you should referre it to generall publication, tothe end, that immodest men may know, and finde it for trueth, thatif they have apprehension and capacity; women are therein not a joteinferiour to them. Which cannot but redound to your great benefite,because, when any one knoweth, that another is as cunning and subtileas himselfe; he will not be so rashly adventurous in deceite. And whomaketh any doubt, that if those sleights and trickes, whereof thisdayes argument may give us occasion to speake, should afterwardesbe put in execution by men: would it not minister just reason, ofpunishing themselves for beguiling you, knowing, that (if you please)you have the like abilitie in your owne power? Mine intent thereforeis to tell you, what a woman (though but of meane quality) did to herhusband, upon a sodaine, and in a moment (as it were) for her ownesafety.

  Not long since, there lived in _Naples_, an honest meane man, who didtake to Wife, a fayre and lustie young Woman, being named _Peronella_.He professing the Trade of a Mason, and shee Carding and Spinning,maintained themselves in a reasonable condition, abating and aboundingas their Fortunes served. It came to passe, that a certayne youngman, well observing the beauty and good parts of _Peronella_, becamemuch addicted in affection towardes her: and by his often and secretsollicitations, which he found not to be unkindly entertayned; hissuccesse proved answerable to his hope, no unindifferencie appearing intheir purposes, but where her estate seemed weakest, his supplies madean addition of more strength.

  Now, for their securer meeting, to stand cleare from all matter ofscandal or detection, they concluded in this order between themselves._Lazaro_, for so was _Peronellaes_ Husband named, being an earelyriser every morning, either to seeke for worke, or to effect it beingundertaken: this amorous friend being therewith acquainted, andstanding in some such convenient place, where hee could see _Lazaroes_departure from his house, and yet himselfe no way discerned; poore_Lazaro_ was no sooner gone, but presently he enters the house, whichstood in a verie solitarie street, called the _Avorio_. Many morningshad they thus met together, to their no meane delight and contentation,till one especiall morning among the rest, when _Lazaro_ was goneforth to worke, and _Striguario_ (so was the amorous young man named)visiting _Peronella_ in the house: upon a very urgent occasion,_Lazaro_ returned backe againe, quite contrary to his former wont,keeping foorth all day, and never comming home till night.

  Finding his doore to be fast lockt, and he having knockt softlie onceor twice, he spake in this manner to himselfe. Fortune I thanke thee,for albeit thou hast made mee poore, yet thou hast bestowed a betterblessing on me, in matching me with so good, honest, & loving a Wife.Behold, though I went early out of my house, her selfe hath risen inthe cold to shut the doore, to prevent the entrance of theeves, orany other that might offend us. _Peronella_ having heard what herhusband sayde, and knowing the manner of his knocke, said fearfully to_Striguario_. Alas deare friend, what shall wee doe? I am little lessethen a dead Woman: For, _Lazaro_ my Husband is come backe again, andI know not what to do or say. He never returned in this order beforenow, doubtlesse, hee saw when you entred the doore; and for the safetyof your honour and mine: creepe under this brewing Fat, till I haveopened the doore, to know the reason of his so soone returning.

  _Striguario_ made no delaying of the matter, but got himselfe closelieunder the Fat, and Peronella opening the doore for her husbandsenterance, with a frowning countenance, spake thus unto him. Whatmeaneth this so early returning home againe this morning? It seemeth,thou intendest to do nothing to day, having brought backe thy tooles inthy hands. If such be thine intent, how shall we live? Where shall wehave bread to fill our bellies? Dooest thou thinke, that I will sufferthee to pawne my gowne, and other poore garments, as heeretofore thouhast done? I that card and spinne both night and day, till I have wornethe flesh from my fingers; yet all will hardly finde oyle to maintaineour Lampe. Husband, husband, there is not one neighbour dwelling by us,but makes a mockerie of me, and tels me plainly, that I may be ashamedto drudge and moyle as I do; wondering not a little, how I am able toendure it; and thou returnest home with thy hands in thy hose, as ifthou hadst no worke at all to do this day.

  Having thus spoken, she fell to weeping, and then thus began again.Poore wretched woman as I am, in an unfortunate houre was I borne, andin a much worse, when I was made thy Wife. I could have had a proper,handsome yong man; one, that would have maintained mee brave andgallantly: but, beast as I was, to forgoe my good, and cast my selfeaway on such a beggar as thou art, and whom none wold have had, butsuch an Asse as I. Other women live at hearts ease, and in jollity,have their amorous friends and loving Paramours, yea, one, two, threeat once, making their husbands looke like a Moone cressent, whereonthey shine Sun-like, with amiable lookes, because they know not how tohelpe it: when I (poore foole) live heere at home a miserable life, notdaring once to dreame of such follies, an innocent soule, heartlesseand harmelesse.

  Many times, sitting and sighing to my selfe: Lord, thinke I, of whatmettall am I made? Why should not I have a Friend in a corner, aswell as others have? I am flesh and blood, as they are, not made ofbrasse or iron, and therefore subject to womens frailty. I would thoushouldest know it husband, and I tell it thee in good earnest; That ifI would doe ill, I could quickely finde a friend at a neede. Gallantsthere are good store, who (of my knowledge) love me dearely, and havemade me very large and liberall promises, of Golde, Silver, Jewels, andgay Garments, if I would extend them the least favour. But my heartwill not suffer me, I never was the daughter of such a mother, as hadso much as a thought of such matters: no, I thanke our blessed Ladie,and S. _Friswid_ for it: and yet thou returnest home againe, when thoushouldst be at Worke.

  _Lazaro_, who stoode all this while like a well-beleeving Logger-head,demurely thus answered. Alas good Wife! I pray you bee not so angry, Inever had so much as an ill thought of you, but know wel enough whatyou are, and have made good proofe thereof this morning. Understandtherefore patiently (sweet Wife) that I went forth to my work asdayly I use to do, little dreaming (as I thinke you doe not) that ithad bene Holy-day. Wife, this is the Feast day of Saint _Galeone_;whereon we may in no wise worke, and this is the reason of my so soonereturning. Neverthelesse (deare Wife) I was not carelesse of ourHoushold provision: For, though we worke not, yet we must have foode,which I have provided for more then a moneth. Wife, I remembred thebrewing Fat, whereof wee have little or no use at all, but rather it isa trouble to the house, then otherwise. I met with an honest Friend,who stayeth without at the doore, to him I have sold the Fat for ten_Gigliatoes_, and he tarrieth to take it away with him.

  How Husband? replied _Peronella_, Why now I am worse offended thenbefore. Thou that art a man, walkest every where, and shouldst beexperienced in worldly affaires: wouldst thou b
ee so simple, as tosell such a brewing Fat for ten _Gigliatoes_? Why, I that am a pooreignorant woman, a house-Dove, sildome going out of my doore: have soldit already for twelve _Gigliatoes_, to a very honest man, who (even alittle before thy comming home) came to me, we agreed on the bargaine,and he is now underneath the Fat, to see whether it be sound or no.When credulous _Lazaro_ heard this, he was better contented then ever,and went to him that taried at the doore, saying. Good man, you may goeyour way, for, whereas you offered me but ten _Gigliatoes_ for the Fat,my loving wife hath sold it for twelve, and I must maintaine what sheehath done: so the man departed, and the variance ended.

  _Peronella_ then saide to her husband. Seeing thou art come home soluckily, helpe me to lift up the Fat, that the man may come foorth, andthen you two end the bargaine together. _Striguario_, who though he wasmewed up under the tubbe, had his eares open enough; and hearing thewitty excuse of _Peronella_, tooke himselfe free from future feare:and being come from under the Fat, pretending also, as if he had herdnothing, nor saw _Lazaro_, looking round about him, said. Where is thisgood woman? _Lazaro_ stepping forth boldly like a man, replyed: Heeream I, what wold you have Sir? Thou? quoth _Striguario_, what art thou?I ask for the good wife, with whom I made my match for the Fat. HonestGentleman (answered _Lazaro_) I am that honest Womans Husband, forlacke of a better, and I will maintaine whatsoever my Wife hath done.

  I crie you mercie Sir, replyed _Striguario_, I bargained with your Wifefor this brewing Fat, which I finde to be whole and sound: only it isuncleane within, hard crusted with some dry soile upon it, which I knownot well how to get off, if you will be the meanes of making it cleane,I have the money heere ready for it. For that Sir (quoth _Peronella_)take you no care, although no match at all had beene made, what servesmy Husband for, but to make it cleane? Yes forsooth Sir, answered sily_Lazaro_, you shall have it neate and cleane before you pay the mony.

  So, stripping himselfe into his shirt, lighting a Candle, and takingtooles fit for the purpose; the Fat was whelmed over him, and he beingwithin it, wrought untill he sweated, with scraping and scrubbing. Sothat these poore Lovers, what they could not accomplish as they wold,necessity enforced them to performe as they might. And _Peronella_,looking in at the vent-hole, where the Liquor runneth forth for themeshing; seemed to instruct her husband in the businesse, as espyingthose parts where the Fat was fowlest, saying: There, there _Lazaro_,tickle it there, the Gentleman payes well for it, and is worthy to haveit: but see thou do thy selfe no harme good Husband. I warrant theeWife, answered _Lazaro_, hurt not your selfe with leaning your stomackeon the Fat, and leave the cleansing of it to me. To be breefe, theBrewing Fat was neatly cleansed, _Peronella_ and _Striguario_ both wellpleased, the money paide, and honest meaning _Lazaro_ not discontented.