The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10)

  _Friar_ Reynard, _falling in love with a Gentlewoman, Wife to a manof good account; found the meanes to become her Gossip. Afterward,he being conferring closely with her in her Chamber, and her Husbandcoming sodainly thither: she made him beleeve, that he came thither forno other end; but to cure his God-sonne by a charme, of a dangerousdisease which he had by Wormes._

  The Third Novell.

  _Serving as a friendly advertisement to married women, that Monks,Friars, and Priests may be none of their Gossips, in regard ofunavoydable perilles ensuing thereby._

  _Philostratus_ told not this Tale so covertly, concerning _Lazaros_simplicity, and _Peronellaes_ witty policy; but the Ladies found aknot in the rush, and laughed not a little, at his queint manner ofdiscoursing it. But upon the conclusion, the King looking upon Madam_Eliza_, willed her to succeede next, which as willingly she granted,and thus began. Pleasant Ladies, the charme or conjuration wherewithMadam _?millia_ laid her night-walking Spirit, maketh me remembera Novell of another enchantment; which although it carrieth notcommendation equall to the other, yet I intend to report it, because itsuteth with our present purpose, and I cannot sodainly be furnisht withanother, answerable thereto in nature.

  You are to understand then, that there lived in _Siena_, a proper yongman, of good birth and well friended, being named _Reynard_. Earnestlyhe affected his neere dwelling neighbour, a beautifull Gentlewoman,and wife to a man of good esteeme: of whom hee grew halfe perswaded,that if he could (without suspition) compasse private conference withher, he should reach the height of his amorous desires. Yet seeing nolikely meanes wherewith to further his hope, and shee being great withchilde, he resolved to become a Godfather to the childe, at such timeas it should be brought to Christening. And being inwardly acquaintedwith her Husband, who was named _Credulano_; such familiar entercoursespassed betweene them, both of _Reynards_ kinde offer, and _Credulanoes_as courteous acceptance, that hee was set downe for a Gossippe.

  _Reynard_ being thus embraced for Madam _Agnesiaes_ Gossip, and thisproving the onely colourable meanes, for his safer permission ofspeech with her, to let her now understand by word of mouth, what longbefore she collected by his lookes and behaviour: it fell out no waybeneficiall to him, albeit _Agnesia_ seemed not nice or scrupulousin hearing, yet she had a more precious care of her honor. It cameto passe, within a while after (whether by seeing his labour vainlyspent, or some other urgent occasion moving him thereto, I know not)_Reynard_ would needs enter into Religion, and whatsoever strictnesseor austeritie hee found to be in that kinde of life, yet he determinedto persevere therein, whether it were for his good or ill. And althoughwithin a short space, after he was thus become a Religious Monke, heeseemed to forget the former love which he bare to his gossip _Agnesia_,and divers other enormous vanities beside: yet let me tell you,successe of time tutord him in them againe; and, without any respectto his poore holy habite, but rather in contempt thereof (as it were)he tooke an especiall delight, in wearing garments of much richeresteeme, yet favoured by the same Monasticall profession, appearing(in all respects) like a Court-Minion or Favourite, of a sprightly andPoeticall disposition, for composing Verses, Sonnets, and Canzons,singing them to sundry excellent instruments, and yet not greatlycurious of his company, so they were some of the best, and Madame_Agnesia_ one, his former Gossip.

  But why doe I trouble my selfe, in talking thus of our so latelyconverted Friar, holy Father _Reynard_, when they of longer standing,and reputed meerely for Saints in life, are rather much more vilethen hee? Such is the wretched condition of this world, that theyshame not (fat, soggie, and nastie Abbey-lubbers) to shew how fullfedde they live in their Cloysters, with cherry cheekes, and smoothshining lookes, gay and gaudy garments, far from the least expressionof humility, not walking in the streets like Doves: but high-crestedlike Cockes, with well cramd gorges. Nay, which is worse, if you didbut see their Chambers furnished with Gally-pots of Electuaries,precious Unguents, Apothecary Boxes, filled with various Confections,Conserves, excellent Perfumes, and other goodly Glasses of artificiallOyles and Waters: beside Rundlets and small Barrels full of GreekeWine, _Muscatella, Lachrime Christi,_ and other such like most preciousWines, so that (to such as see them) they seeme not to bee Chambersof Religious men; but rather Apothecaries Shoppes, or appertaining toDruggists, Grocers, or Perfumers.

  It is no disgrace to them to be Gowty; because when other menknow it not, they alledge, that strict fasting, feeding on grossemeates (though never so little,) continuall studying, and such likerestraints from the bodies freer exercise, maketh them subject tomany infirmities. And yet, when any one of them chanceth to fallsicke, the Physitian must minister no such counsell to them, asChastity, Abstinence from voluptuous meats, Discipline of the body,or any of those matters appertaining to a modest religious life.For, concerning the plaine, vulgar, and Plebeian people, these holyFathers are perswaded, that they know nothing really belonging to asanctimonious life; as long watching, praying, discipline and fasting,which (in themselves) are not able, to make men look leane, wretched,and pale. Because Saint _Dominicke_, Saint _Fraunces_, and diversother holy Saints beside, observed the selfesame religious ordersand constitutions, as now their carefull successors do. Moreover, inexample of those fore-named Saints, who went wel cloathed, thoughthey had not three Garments for one, nor made of the finest Woollenexcellent cloath: but rather of the very coarsest of all other, and ofthe common ordinary colour, to expell cold onely, but not to appearbrave or gallant, deceyving thereby infinite simple credulous soules,whose purses (neverthelesse) are their best pay-masters.

  But leave we this, and returne wee backe to vertuous Fryar _Reynard_,who falling againe to his former appetites; became an often visitantof his Gossip _Agnesia_, and now hee had learned such a blushlessekinde of boldnesse; that he durst be more instant with her (concerninghis privie sute) then ever formerly he had bin, yea, even to solicitethe enjoying of his immodest desires. The good Gentlewoman, seeingher selfe so importunately pursued, and Fryar _Reynard_ appearingnow (perhappes) of sweeter and more delicate complexion, then at hisentrance into Religion: at a set time of his secret communing withher; she answered him in as apt tearmes, as they use to do, who are notgreatly squeamish, in granting matters demanded of them.

  Why how now Friar _Reynard_? quoth shee, Doe God-fathers use to movesuch questions? Whereto the Friar thus replyed. Madam, when I havelaide off this holy habite (which is a matter very easie for mee todo) I shall seeme in your eye, in all respects made like another man,quite from the course of any Religious life. _Agnesia_, biting the lipwith a prety smile, said, O my faire Starres! You will never bee sounfriendly to me. What? You being my Gossip, would you have me consentunto such a sinne? Our blessed Lady shield mee, for my ghostly Fatherhath often told me, that it is utterly unpardonable: but if it were,I feare too much confiding on mine owne strength. Gossip, Gossip,answered the Friar, you speake like a Foole, and feare (in this case)is wholly frivolous, especially, when the motions mooved by such an oneas my selfe, who (upon repentance) can grant you pardon and indulgencepresently. But I pray you let mee aske you one question, Who is theneerest Kinsman to your Son; either I, that stood at the Font for hisBaptisme, or your Husband that begot him? The Lady made answere, thatit was her Husband. You say very true Gossip, replyed the Friar, andyet notwithstanding, doth not your Husband (both at boord and bed)enjoy the sweet benefit of your company? Yes, said the Lady, why sholdhe not? Then Lady (quoth _Reynard_) I, who am not so neere a Kinsmanto your Sonne, as your Husband is, why may ye not afford mee the likefavour, as you do him? _Agnesia_, who was no Logitian, and thereforecould not stand on any curious answer, especially being so cuninglymoved; beleeved, or rather made shew of beleeving, that the Godfathersaid nothing but truth, and thus answered. What woman is she (Gossip)that knoweth how to answer your strange speeches? And, how it came topasse, I know not, but such an agreement passed betweene them, that,for once onely (so it might not infrindge the league of Gossip-ship,but that title to countenance their further intent)
such a favourshould be affoorded, so it might stand cleare from suspition.

  An especiall time being appointed, when this amorous Combate should befought in loves field, Friar _Reynard_ came to his Gossips house, wherenone being present to hinder his purpose, but onely the Nursse whichattended on the child, who was an indifferent faire & proper woman:his holy brother that came thither in his company (because Friars werenot allowed to walke alone) was sent aside with her into the Pigeonloft, to enstruct her in a new kinde of _Pater noster_, lately devisedin their holy Convent. In the meane while, as Friar _Reynard_ and_Agnesia_ were entring into hir chamber, she leading her little son bythe hand, and making fast the doore for their better safety: the Friarlaide by his holie habit, Cowle, Hood, Booke, and Beads, to bee (inall respects) as other men were. No sooner were they thus entred theChamber, but her husband _Credulano_, being come into the house, andunseen of any, staid not till he was at the Chamber doore, where heeknockt, and called for his Wife.

  She hearing his voice: Alas Gossip (quoth she) what shall I do? MyHusband knocketh at the doore, and now he will perceive the occasionof our so familiar acquaintance. _Reynard_ being stript into hisTrusse and straite Strouses, began to tremble and quake exceedingly.I heare your Husbands tongue Gossip, said he, and seeing no harme asyet hath bin done, if I had but my garments on againe; wee would haveone excuse or other to serve the turne, but till then you may notopen the doore. As womens wits are sildome gadding abroad, when anynecessitie concerneth them at home: even so _Agnesia_, being sodainlyprovided of an invention, both how to speake and carry her selfe inthis extreamitie, saide to the Friar. Get on your garments quickely,and when you are cloathed, take your little God-son in your armes,and listning wel what I shall say, shape your answeres according tomy words, and then refer the matter to me. _Credulano_ had scarselyended his knocking, but _Agnesia_ stepping to the doore said: Husband,I come to you. So she opened the doore, and (going forth to him) witha chearefull countenance thus spake. Beleeve me Husband, you could nothave come in a more happy time, for our yong Son was sodainly extreamlysicke, and (as good Fortune would have it) our loving Gossip _Reynard_chanced to come in; and questionlesse, but by his good prayers andother religious paynes, we had utterly lost our childe, for he had nolife left in him.

  _Credulano_, being as credulous as his name imported, seemed readyto swoune with sodaine conceit: Alas good wife (quoth he) how hapnedthis? Sit downe sweet Husband said she, and I will tell you al. Ourchild was sodainly taken with a swouning, wherein I being unskilful,did verily suppose him to be dead, not knowing what to doe, or say.By good hap, our Gossip _Reynard_ came in, and taking the childe upin his armes, said to me. Gossip, this is nothing else but Wormes inthe bellie of the childe, which ascending to the heart, must needskill the child, without all question to the contrary. But be of goodcomfort Gossip, and feare not, for I can charme them in such sort, thatthey shall all die, and before I depart hence, you shall see your Sonas healthfull as ever. And because the manner of this charm is of suchnature, that it required prayer and exorcising in two places at once:Nurse went up with his Holye Brother into our Pigeon loft, to exercisetheir devotion there, while we did the like heere. For none but themother of the childe must bee present at such a mystery, nor any enterto hinder the operation of the charme; which was the reason of makingfast the Chamber doore. You shall see Husband anon the Childe, which isindifferently recovered in his armes, and if Nurse and his holy Brotherwere returned from theyr meditations; he saith, that the charme wouldthen be fully effected: for the child beginneth to looke chearefull andmerry.

  So deerely did _Credulano_ love the childe, that hee verily beleeved,what his Wife had saide, never misdoubting any other treachery: and,lifting up his eyes, with a vehement sigh, said. Wife, may not I goe inand take the child into my armes? Oh no, not yet good husband (quothshe) in any case, least you should overthrow all that is done. Stay buta little while, I will go in againe, and if all bee well, then will Icall you. In went _Agnesia_ againe, making the doore fast after her,the Fryar having heard all the passed speeches, by this time he wasfitted with his habite, and taking the childe in his armes, he said to_Agnesia_. Gossip methought I heard your Husbands voice, is hee at yourChamber doore? Yes Gossip _Reynard_ (quoth _Credulano_ without, while_Agnesia_ opened the doore, and admitted him entrance) indeede it isI. Come in Sir, I pray you, replyed the Friar, and heere receive yourchilde of mee, who was in great danger, of your ever seeing him anymore alive. But you must take order, to make an Image of waxe, agreeingwith the stature of the childe, to be placed on the Altar before theImage of S. _Frances_, by whose merites the childe is thus restored tohealth.

  The childe, beholding his Father, made signes of comming to him,rejoycing merrily, as yong infants use to do; and _Credulano_ claspinghim in his armes, wept with conceite of joy, kissing him infinitely,and heartily thanking his Gossip _Reynard_, for the recovery of hisGod-son. The Friars brotherly Companion, who had given sufficientenstructions to the Nurse, and a small purse full of Sisters whitethred, which a Nunne (after shrift) had bestowed on him, upon thehusbands admittance into the Chamber (which they easily heard) came inalso to them, and seeing all in very good tearmes, they holpe to makea joyfull conclusion, the Brother saying to Friar Reynard: Brother, Ihave finished all those foure Jaculatory prayers, which you commandedme.

  Brother, answered _Reynard_, you have a better breath then I, and yoursuccesse hath prooved happier then mine, for before the arrivall ofmy Gossip _Credulano_, I could accomplish but two Jaculatory prayersonely. But it appeareth, that we have both prevailed in our devoutdesires, because the childe is perfectly cured. _Credulano_ calling forWine and good cheare, feasted both the Friars very jocondly, and thenconducting them forth of his house, without any further intermission,caused the childs Image of waxe to be made, and sent it to be placed onthe Altar of Saint _Frances_, among many other the like oblations.