The Decameron (Day 6 to Day 10)

  Madame Nonna de Pulci, _by a sodaine answere, did put to silence aByshop of_ Florence, _and the Lord Marshall: having moved a question tothe said Lady, which seemed to come short of honesty._

  The Third Novell.

  _Wherein is declared, that mockers do sometimes meete with theirmatches in mockery, and to their owne shame._

  When Madame _Pampinea_ had ended her Discourse, and (by the wholecompany) the answere and bounty of _Cistio_, had past with deservedcommendation: it pleased the Queene, that Madame _Lauretta_ should nextsucceed: whereupon verie chearefully thus she beganne.

  Faire assembly, Madame _Pampinea_ (not long time since) gave beginning,and Madam _Philomena_ hath also seconded the same argument, concerningthe slender vertue remaining in our sexe, and likewise the beautie ofwittie words, delivered on apt occasion, and in convenient meetings.Now, because it is needlesse to proceede any further, then what hathbeene already spoken: let mee onely tell you (over and beside) andcommit it to memorie, that the nature of meetings and speeches aresuch, as they ought to nippe or touch the hearer, like unto the Sheepesnibling on the tender grasse, and not as the sullen Dogge byteth. For,if their biting be answereable to the Dogges, they deserve not to betermed witty jests or quips, but foule and offensive language: asplainly appeareth by the words of Madame _Oretta_, and the merry, yetsensible answer of _Cistio_.

  True it is, that if it be spoken by way of answer, and the answererbiteth doggedly, because himselfe was bitten in the same manner before:he is the lesse to bee blamed, because hee maketh payment but withcoine of the same stampe. In which respect, an especiall care is to beehad, how, when, with whom, and where we jest or gibe, whereof very manyproove too unmindfull, as appeared (not long since) by a Prelate ofours, who met with a byting, no lesse sharpe and bitter, then had firstcome from himselfe before, as verie briefely I intend to tell you how.

  _Messer Antonio d'Orso_, being Byshoppe of _Florence_, a vertuous,wise, and reverend Prelate; it fortuned that a Gentleman of_Catalogna_, named _Messer Diego de la Ratta_, and Lord Marshall toKing _Robert_ of _Naples_, came thither to visite him. Hee being a manof very comely personage, and a great observer of the choysest beautiesin Court: among all the other _Florentine_ Dames, one proved to beemost pleasing in his eye, who was a verie faire Woman indeede, andNeece to the Brother of the saide _Messer Antonio_.

  The Husband of this Gentlewoman (albeit descended of a worthie Family)was, neverthelesse, immeasurably covetous, and a verie vile harshnatured man. Which the Lord Marshall understanding, made such a maddecomposition with him, as to give him five hundred Ducates of Gold, oncondition, that hee would let him lye one night with his wife, notthinking him so base minded as to give consent. Which in a greedyavaritious humour he did, and the bargaine being absolutely agreedon; the Lord Marshall prepared to fit him with a payment, such as itshould be. He caused so many peeces of silver to be cunningly guilded,as then went for currant mony in _Florence_, and called _Popolines_, &after he had lyen with the Lady (contrary to her will and knowledge,her husband had so closely carried the businesse) the money was duelypaid to the cornuted Coxcombe. Afterwards, this impudent shame chancedto be generally knowne, nothing remaining to the wilfull Wittoll, butlosse of his expected gaine, and scorne in every place where he went.The Bishop likewise (beeing a discreete and sober man) would seeme totake no knowledge thereof; but bare out all scoffes with a well setledcountenance.

  Within a short while after, the Bishop and the Lord Marshall (alwaiesconversing together) it came to passe, that upon Saint _Johns_ day,they riding thorow the City, side by side, and viewing the bravebeauties, which of them might best deserve to win the prize; the Byshopespied a yong married Lady (which our late greevous pestilence bereavedus of) she being named Madame _Nonna de Pulci_, and Cousine to _MesserAlexio Rinucci_, a Gentleman well knowne unto us all. A very goodlybeautifull yong woman she was, of delicate language, and singularspirite, dwelling close by S. _Peters_ gate. This Lady did the Bishopshew to the Marshall, and when they were come to her, laying his handuppon her shoulder, he said. Madam _Nonna_, What thinke you of thisGallant? Dare you adventure another wager with him?

  Such was the apprehension of this witty Lady, that these words seemedto taxe her honour, or else to contaminate the hearers understanding,whereof there were great plenty about her, whose judgement might be asvile, as the speeches were scandalous. Wherefore, never seeking for anyfurther purgation of her cleare conscience, but onely to retort tauntfor taunt, presently thus she replied. My Lord, if I should make such avile adventure, I would looke to bee payde with better money.

  These words being heard both by the Bishop and Marshall, they feltthemselves touched to the quicke, the one, as the Factor or Broker, forso dishonest a businesse, to the Brother of the Bishop; and the other,as receiving (in his owne person) the shame belonging to his Brother.So, not so much as looking each on other, or speaking one word togetherall the rest of that day, they rode away with blushing cheekes. Wherebywe may collect, that the yong Lady, being so injuriously provoked, didno more then well became her, to bite their basenesse neerely, that soabused her openly.