Short Cruises

  MR. POTTER had just taken Ethel Spriggs into the kitchen to say good-by;in the small front room Mr. Spriggs, with his fingers already fumblingat the linen collar of ceremony, waited impatiently.

  "They get longer and longer over their good-bys," he complained.

  "It's only natural," said Mrs. Spriggs, looking up from a piece of finesewing. "Don't you remember--"

  "No, I don't," said her husband, doggedly. "I know that your pore fathernever 'ad to put on a collar for me; and, mind you, I won't wear oneafter they're married, not if you all went on your bended knees andasked me to."

  He composed his face as the door opened, and nodded good-night to therather over-dressed young man who came through the room with hisdaughter.

  The latter opened the front-door and passing out with Mr. Potter, heldit slightly open. A penetrating draught played upon the exasperated Mr.Spriggs. He coughed loudly.

  "Your father's got a cold," said Mr. Potter, in a concerned voice.

  "No; it's only too much smoking," said the girl. "He's smoking all daylong." The indignant Mr. Spriggs coughed again; but the young people hadfound a new subject of conversation. It ended some minutes later in aplayful scuffle, during which the door acted the part of a ventilatingfan.

  "It's only for another fortnight," said Mrs. Spriggs, hastily, as herhusband rose.

  "After they're spliced," said the vindictive Mr. Spriggs, resuming hisseat, "I'll go round and I'll play about with their front-door till--"

  He broke off abruptly as his daughter, darting into the room, closed thedoor with a bang that nearly extinguished the lamp, and turned the key.Before her flushed and laughing face Mr. Spriggs held his peace.

  "What's the matter?" she asked, eying him. "What are you looking likethat for?"

  "Too much draught--for your mother," said Mr. Spriggs, feebly. "I'mafraid of her asthma agin."

  He fell to work on the collar once more, and, escaping at last from theclutches of that enemy, laid it on the table and unlaced his boots. Anattempt to remove his coat was promptly frustrated by his daughter.

  "You'll get doing it when you come round to see us," she explained.

  Mr. Spriggs sighed, and lighting a short clay pipe--forbidden in thepresence of his future son-in-law--fell to watching mother and daughteras they gloated over dress materials and discussed double-widths.

  "Anybody who can't be 'appy with her," he said, half an hour later, ashis daughter slapped his head by way of bidding him good-night, andretired, "don't deserve to be 'appy."

  "I wish it was over," whispered his wife. "She'll break her heart ifanything happens, and--and Gussie will be out now in a day or two."

  "A gal can't 'elp what her uncle does," said Mr. Spriggs, fiercely; "ifAlfred throws her over for that, he's no man."

  "Pride is his great fault," said his wife, mournfully. .

  "It's no good taking up troubles afore they come," observed Mr. Spriggs."P'r'aps Gussie won't come ere.

  "He'll come straight here," said his wife, with conviction; "he'll comestraight here and try and make a fuss of me, same as he used to do whenwe was children and I'd got a ha'penny. I know him."

  "Cheer up, old gal," said Mr. Spriggs; "if he does, we must try and getrid of 'im; and, if he won't go, we must tell Alfred that he's been toAustralia, same as we did Ethel."

  His wife smiled faintly.

  "That's the ticket," continued Mr. Spriggs. "For one thing, I b'leevehe'll be ashamed to show his face here; but, if he does, he's come backfrom Australia. See? It'll make it nicer for 'im too. You don't supposehe wants to boast of where he's been?"

  "And suppose he comes while Alfred is here?" said his wife.

  "Then I say, 'How 'ave you left 'em all in Australia?' and wink at him,"said the ready Mr. Spriggs.

  "And s'pose you're not here?" objected his wife.

  "Then you say it and wink at him," was the reply. "No; I know youcan't," he added, hastily, as Mrs. Spriggs raised another objection;"you've been too well brought up. Still, you can try."

  It was a slight comfort to Mrs. Spriggs that Mr. Augustus Price did,after all, choose a convenient time for his reappearance. A faint knocksounded on the door two days afterwards as she sat at tea with herhusband, and an anxious face with somewhat furtive eyes was thrust intothe room.

  "Emma!" said a mournful voice, as the upper part of the intruder's bodyfollowed the face.

  "Gussie!" said Mrs. Spriggs, rising in disorder.

  Mr. Price drew his legs into the room, and, closing the door withextraordinary care, passed the cuff of his coat across his eyes andsurveyed them tenderly.

  "I've come home to die," he said, slowly, and, tottering across theroom, embraced his sister with much unction.

  "What are you going to die of?" inquired Mr. Spriggs, reluctantlyaccepting the extended hand.

  "Broken 'art, George," replied his brother-in-law, sinking into a chair.

  Mr. Spriggs grunted, and, moving his chair a little farther away,watched the intruder as his wife handed him a plate. A troubled glancefrom his wife reminded him of their arrangements for the occasion, andhe cleared his throat several times in vain attempts to begin.

  "I'm sorry that we can't ask you to stay with us, Gussie, 'specially asyou're so ill," he said, at last; "but p'r'aps you'll be better afterpicking a bit."

  Mr. Price, who was about to take a slice of bread and butter, refrained,and, closing his eyes, uttered a faint moan. "I sha'n't last the night,"he muttered.

  "That's just it," said Mr. Spriggs, eagerly. "You see, Ethel is going tobe married in a fortnight, and if you died here that would put it off."

  "I might last longer if I was took care of," said the other, opening hiseyes.

  "And, besides, Ethel don't know where you've been," continued Mr.Spriggs. "We told 'er that you had gone to Australia. She's going tomarry a very partikler young chap--a grocer--and if he found it out itmight be awk'ard."

  Mr. Price closed his eyes again, but the lids quivered.

  "It took 'im some time to get over me being a bricklayer," pursued Mr.Spriggs. "What he'd say to you--"

  "Tell 'im I've come back from Australia, if you like," said Mr. Price,faintly. "I don't mind."

  Mr. Spriggs cleared his throat again. "But, you see, we told Ethel asyou was doing well out there," he said, with an embarrassed laugh, "andgirl-like, and Alfred talking a good deal about his relations,she--she's made the most of it."

  "It don't matter," said the complaisant Mr. Price; "you say what youlike. I sha'n't interfere with you."

  "But, you see, you don't look as though you've been making money," saidhis sister, impatiently. "Look at your clothes."

  Mr. Price held up his hand. "That's easy got over," he remarked; "whileI'm having a bit of tea George can go out and buy me some new ones. Youget what you think I should look richest in, George--a black tail-coatwould be best, I should think, but I leave it to you. A bit of a fancywaistcoat, p'r'aps, lightish trousers, and a pair o' nice boots, easysevens."

  He sat upright in his chair and, ignoring the look of consternation thatpassed between husband and wife, poured himself out a cup of tea andtook a slice of cake.

  "Have you got any money?" said Mr. Spriggs, after a long pause.

  "I left it behind me--in Australia," said Mr. Price, with ill-timedfacetiousness.

  "Getting better, ain't you?" said his brother-in-law, sharply. "How'sthat broken 'art getting on?"

  "It'll go all right under a fancy waistcoat," was the reply; "and whileyou're about it, George, you'd better get me a scarf-pin, and, if youcould run to a gold watch and chain--"

  He was interrupted by a frenzied outburst from Mr. Spriggs; a somewhatincoherent summary of Mr. Price's past, coupled with unlawful andheathenish hopes for his future.

  "You're wasting time," said Mr. Price, calmly, as he paused for breath."Don't get 'em if you don't want to. I'm trying to help you, that's all.I don't mind anybody knowing where I've been. I was innercent. If youwill give way to sinful pride you must p
ay for it."

  Mr. Spriggs, by a great effort, regained his self-control. "Will you goaway if I give you a quid?" he asked, quietly.

  "No," said Mr. Price, with a placid smile. "I've got a better idea ofthe value of money than that. Besides, I want to see my dear niece, andsee whether that young man's good enough for her."

  "Two quid?" suggested his brother-in-law. Mr. Price shook his head. "Icouldn't do it," he said, calmly. "In justice to myself I couldn't doit. You'll be feeling lonely when you lose Ethel, and I'll stay and keepyou company."

  The bricklayer nearly broke out again; but, obeying a glance from hiswife, closed his lips and followed her obediently upstairs. Mr. Price,filling his pipe from a paper of tobacco on the mantelpiece, winked athimself encouragingly in the glass, and smiled gently as he heard thechinking of coins upstairs.

  "Be, careful about the size," he said, as Mr. Spriggs came down and tookhis hat from a nail; "about a couple of inches shorter than yourself andnot near so much round the waist."

  Mr. Spriggs regarded him sternly for a few seconds, and then, closingthe door with a bang, went off down the street. Left alone, Mr. Pricestrolled about the room investigating, and then, drawing an easy-chairup to the fire, put his feet on the fender and relapsed into thought.

  Two hours later he sat in the same place, a changed and resplendentbeing. His thin legs were hidden in light check trousers, and thecompanion waistcoat to Joseph's Coat graced the upper part of his body.A large chrysanthemum in the button-hole of his frock-coat completed thepicture of an Australian millionaire, as understood by Mr. Spriggs.

  "A nice watch and chain, and a little money in my pockets, and I shallbe all right," murmured Mr. Price.

  "You won't get any more out o' me," said Mr. Spriggs, fiercely. "I'vespent every farthing I've got."

  "Except what's in the bank," said his brother-in-law. "It'll take you aday or two to get at it, I know. S'pose we say Saturday for the watchand chain?"

  Mr. Spriggs looked helplessly at his wife, but she avoided his gaze. Heturned and gazed in a fascinated fashion at Mr. Price, and received acheerful nod in return.

  "I'll come with you and help choose it," said the latter. "It'll saveyou trouble if it don't save your pocket."

  He thrust his hands in his trouser-pockets and, spreading his legs wideapart, tilted his head back and blew smoke to the ceiling. He was in thesame easy position when Ethel arrived home accompanied by Mr. Potter.

  "It's--it's your Uncle Gussie," said Mrs. Spriggs, as the girl stoodeying the visitor.

  "From Australia," said her husband, thickly.

  Mr. Price smiled, and his niece, noticing that he removed his pipe andwiped his lips with the back of his hand, crossed over and kissed hiseyebrow. Mr. Potter was then introduced and received a graciousreception, Mr. Price commenting on the extraordinary likeness he bore toa young friend of his who had just come in for forty thousand a year.

  "That's nearly as much as you're worth, uncle, isn't it?" inquired MissSpriggs, daringly.

  Mr. Price shook his head at her and pondered. "Rather more," he said, atlast, "rather more."

  Mr. Potter caught his breath sharply; Mr. Spriggs, who was stooping toget a light for his pipe, nearly fell into the fire. There was animpressive silence.

  "Money isn't everything," said Mr. Price, looking round and shaking hishead. "It's not much good, except to give away."

  His eye roved round the room and came to rest finally upon Mr. Potter.The young man noticed with a thrill that it beamed with benevolence.

  "Fancy coming over without saying a word to anybody, and taking us allby surprise like this!" said Ethel.

  "I felt I must see you all once more before I died," said her uncle,simply. "Just a flying visit I meant it to be, but your father andmother won't hear of my going back just yet."

  "Of course not," said Ethel, who was helping the silent Mrs. Spriggs tolay supper.

  "When I talked of going your father 'eld me down in my chair," continuedthe veracious Mr. Price.

  "Quite right, too," said the girl. "Now draw your chair up and have somesupper, and tell us all about Australia."

  Mr. Price drew his chair up, but, as to talking about Australia, he saidungratefully that he was sick of the name of the place, and preferredinstead to discuss the past and future of Mr. Potter. He learned, amongother things, that that gentleman was of a careful and thriftydisposition, and that his savings, augmented by a lucky legacy, amountedto a hundred and ten pounds.

  "Alfred is going to stay with Palmer and Mays for another year, and thenwe shall take a business of our own," said Ethel.

  "Quite right," said Mr. Price. "I like to see young people make theirown way," he added meaningly. "It's good for 'em."

  It was plain to all that he had taken a great fancy to Mr. Potter. Hediscussed the grocery trade with the air of a rich man seeking a goodinvestment, and threw out dark hints about returning to England after afinal visit to Australia and settling down in the bosom of his family.He accepted a cigar from Mr. Potter after supper, and, when the youngman left--at an unusually late hour--walked home with him.

  It was the first of several pleasant evenings, and Mr. Price, who hadbought a book dealing with Australia from a second-hand bookstall, nolonger denied them an account of his adventures there. A gold watch andchain, which had made a serious hole in his brother-in-law's SavingsBank account, lent an air of substance to his waistcoat, and a pin ofexcellent paste sparkled in his neck-tie. Under the influence of goodfood and home comforts he improved every day, and the unfortunate Mr.Spriggs was at his wits' end to resist further encroachments. From thesecond day of their acquaintance he called Mr. Potter "Alf," and theyoung people listened with great attention to his discourse on "Money:How to Make It and How to Keep It."

  His own dealings with Mr. Spriggs afforded an example which he did notquote. Beginning with shillings, he led up to half-crowns, and,encouraged by success, one afternoon boldly demanded a half-sovereign tobuy a wedding-present with. Mrs. Spriggs drew her over-wrought husbandinto the kitchen and argued with him in whispers.

  "Give him what he wants till they're married," she entreated; "afterthat Alfred can't help himself, and it'll be as much to his interest tokeep quiet as anybody else."

  Mr. Spriggs, who had been a careful man all his life, found thehalf-sovereign and a few new names, which he bestowed upon Mr. Price atthe same time. The latter listened unmoved. In fact, a bright eye and apleasant smile seemed to indicate that he regarded them rather in thenature of compliments than otherwise.

  "I telegraphed over to Australia this morning," he said, as they all satat supper that evening.

  "About my money?" said Mr. Potter, eagerly.

  Mr. Price frowned at him swiftly. "No; telling my head clerk to sendover a wedding-present for you," he said, his face softening under theeye of Mr. Spriggs. "I've got just the thing for you there. I can't seeanything good enough over here."

  The young couple were warm in their thanks.

  "What did you mean, about your money?" inquired Mr. Spriggs, turning tohis future son-in-law.

  "Nothing," said the young man, evasively.

  "It's a secret," said Mr. Price.

  "What about?" persisted Mr. Spriggs, raising his voice.

  "It's a little private business between me and Uncle Gussie," said Mr.Potter, somewhat stiffly.

  "You--you haven't been lending him money?" stammered the bricklayer.

  "Don't be silly, father," said Miss Spriggs, sharply. "What good wouldAlfred's little bit o' money be to Uncle Gussie? If you must know,Alfred is drawing it out for uncle to invest it for him."

  The eyes of Mr. and Mrs. Spriggs and Mr. Price engaged in a triangularduel. The latter spoke first.

  "I'm putting it into my business for him," he said, with a threateningglance, "in Australia."

  "And he didn't want his generosity known," added Mr. Potter.

  The bewildered Mr. Spriggs looked helplessly round the table. His wife'sfoot pressed his, and l
ike a mechanical toy his lips snapped together.

  "I didn't know you had got your money handy," said Mrs. Spriggs, intrembling tones.

  "I made special application, and I'm to have it on Friday," said Mr.Potter, with a smile. "You don't get a chance like that every day."

  He filled Uncle Gussie's glass for him, and that gentleman at onceraised it and proposed the health of the young couple. "If anything wasto 'appen to break it off now," he said, with a swift glance at hissister, "they'd be miserable for life, I can see that."

  "Miserable for ever," assented Mr. Potter, in a sepulchral voice, as hesqueezed the hand of Miss Spriggs under the table.

  "It's the only thing worth 'aving--love," continued Mr. Price, watchinghis brother-in-law out of the corner of his eye. "Money is nothing."

  Mr. Spriggs emptied his glass and, knitting his brows, drew patterns onthe cloth with the back of his knife. His wife's foot was still pressingon his, and he waited for instructions.

  For once, however, Mrs. Spriggs had none to give. Even when Mr. Potterhad gone and Ethel had retired upstairs she was still voiceless. She satfor some time looking at the fire and stealing an occasional glance atUncle Gussie as he smoked a cigar; then she arose and bent over herhusband.

  "Do what you think best," she said, in a weary voice. "Good-night."

  "What about that money of young Alfred's?" demanded Mr. Spriggs, as thedoor closed behind her.

  "I'm going to put it in my business," said Uncle Gussie, blandly; "mybusiness in Australia." "Ho! You've got to talk to me about that first,"said the other.

  His brother-in-law leaned back and smoked with placid enjoyment. "You dowhat you like," he said, easily. "Of course, if you tell Alfred, Isha'n't get the money, and Ethel won't get 'im. Besides that, he'll findout what lies you've been telling."

  "I wonder you can look me in the face," said the raging bricklayer.

  "And I should give him to understand that you were going shares in thehundred and ten pounds and then thought better of it," said the unmovedMr. Price. "He's the sort o' young chap as'll believe anything. Bless'im!"

  Mr. Spriggs bounced up from his chair and stood over him with his fistsclinched. Mr. Price glared defiance.

  "If you're so partikler you can make it up to him," he said, slowly."You've been a saving man, I know, and Emma 'ad a bit left her that Iought to have 'ad. When you've done play-acting I'll go to bed. Solong!"

  He got up, yawning, and walked to the door, and Mr. Spriggs, after amomentary idea of breaking him in pieces and throwing him out into thestreet, blew out the lamp and went upstairs to discuss the matter withhis wife until morning.

  Mr. Spriggs left for his work next day with the question stillundecided, but a pretty strong conviction that Mr. Price would have tohave his way. The wedding was only five days off, and the house was in abustle of preparation. A certain gloom which he could not shake off heattributed to a raging toothache, turning a deaf ear to the variousremedies suggested by Uncle Gussie, and the name of an excellent dentistwho had broken a tooth of Mr. Potter's three times before extracting it.

  Uncle Gussie he treated with bare civility in public, and toblood-curdling threats in private. Mr. Price, ascribing the latter tothe toothache, also varied his treatment to his company; prescribingwhisky held in the mouth, and other agreeable remedies when there werelisteners, and recommending him to fill his mouth with cold water andsit on the fire till it boiled, when they were alone.

  He was at his worst on Thursday morning; on Thursday afternoon he camehome a bright and contented man. He hung his cap on the nail with aflourish, kissed his wife, and, in full view of the disapproving Mr.Price, executed a few clumsy steps on the hearthrug.

  "Come in for a fortune?" inquired the latter, eying him sourly.

  "No; I've saved one," replied Mr. Spriggs, gayly. "I wonder I didn'tthink of it myself."

  "Think of what?" inquired Mr. Price.

  "You'll soon know," said Mr. Spriggs, "and you've only got yourself tothank for it."

  Uncle Gussie sniffed suspiciously; Mrs. Spriggs pressed for particulars.

  "I've got out of the difficulty," said her husband, drawing his chair tothe tea-table. "Nobody'll suffer but Gussie."

  "Ho!" said that gentleman, sharply.

  "I took the day off," said Mr. Spriggs, smiling contentedly at his wife,"and went to see a friend of mine, Bill White the policeman, and toldhim about Gussie."

  Mr. Price stiffened in his chair.

  "Acting--under--his--advice," said Mr. Spriggs, sipping his tea, "Iwrote to Scotland Yard and told 'em that Augustus Price, ticket-of-leaveman, was trying to obtain a hundred and ten pounds by false pretences."

  Mr. Price, white and breathless, rose and confronted him.

  "The beauty o' that is, as Bill says," continued Mr. Spriggs, with muchenjoyment, "that Gussie'll 'ave to set out on his travels again. He'llhave to go into hiding, because if they catch him he'll 'ave to finishhis time. And Bill says if he writes letters to any of us it'll onlymake it easier to find him. You'd better take the first train toAustralia, Gussie."

  "What--what time did you post--the letter?" inquired Uncle Gussie,jerkily.

  "'Bout two o'clock," said Mr. Spriggs, glaring aft the clock. "I reckonyou've just got time."

  Mr. Price stepped swiftly to the small sideboard, and, taking up hishat, clapped it on. He paused a moment at the door to glance up and downthe street, and then the door closed softly behind him. Mrs. Spriggslooked at her husband.

  "Called away to Australia by special telegram," said the latter,winking. "Bill White is a trump; that's what he is."

  "Oh, George!" said his wife. "Did you really write that letter?"

  Mr. Spriggs winked again.

  THE TEST