A Surrogate Love Affair

  “I will get used to the idea. I’m sure I can.”

  “Will you please just get out of the house?” Please, just stop talking and leave.

  He steps forward. “Baby, don’t do this.”

  “How many more times do I need to say it?”

  “Can’t we talk some more?”

  Closing my eyes, the frustration rises. “I’m exhausted, Kyle. We’ll talk again another time.”

  “Tomorrow?” he asks, hope in his eyes.

  “I need more time than that. Give me a few days.”

  “A few days to figure out that you don’t need me anymore. I won’t let you go.”

  I start to panic. “Kyle, please...”

  He rushes forward and gathers me in his arms. “You can’t leave me. We belong together. You and I were made for each other.”

  He starts kissing my neck and around my face before going for my lips. When I try to fight back, he pulls me closer. I manage to push him away before slapping him across the face. Dumbstruck, he steps back, holding his cheek.

  Pointing to the door, I glare at him. “I want you to leave.”

  “Okay, I’ll fucking go,” he sneers. “But this isn’t over, Alice. I’ll be around after work tomorrow. We’ll talk then. I’m going to give you some time tonight and tomorrow, but I’m refusing more than that. You’re my wife, and will always be my wife.”

  I don’t say the words I so desperately want to. Instead, I watch as he turns, my heart leaping a little in celebration. I have never wanted someone out of my house so badly. This man before me is a stranger. One who is invading my space, my home, and my life.

  No more.

  I watch as he walks away, then hesitates. He doesn’t look behind him when he says, “This isn’t over. I won’t let it be.”

  He finally leaves, but I don’t breathe a sigh of relief until I hear the door click. I hear him opening the boot of his car, then shutting it before he gets into the car and starts it. As soon as he does, I rush to the door, bolting every single lock I can before walking back to the sofa.

  It’s dark, but I don’t turn the light on. Instead, I lay down and curl up into a tight ball, pulling the throw blanket on top of me. That’s when I really cry. Gut-wrenching sobs unleash as I grasp the blanket. So much of my life has been dedicated to that man only for him to treat our marriage like it’s nothing. But that’s not the worst of it. The biggest betrayal is knowing my friend was willing to throw away our friendship just for a few minutes under the sheets. I would never, ever dream of doing something like that to her. She was like a sister to me.

  As my sobs quiet down, I move a hand toward my belly and rub over the little bean-like life growing inside me. Without meaning to, I smile.

  “What happens now, little one?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I wake the next morning to the sound of a truck collecting rubbish. As I move, I wince, stiff from sleeping on the sofa all night. I hadn’t even realised I had fallen asleep. Checking my watch, I see that it’s only five in the morning. I should get up and get ready for work, but I don’t want to face anyone today. It’s Friday, so calling in sick won’t harm anything. Besides, I’m going to need a lot of time to plan.

  With that thought, I stretch and yawn before getting up. I walk up the stairs to our bedroom and shudder when I see the bed. I must do something about that today, as well.

  Feeling better after my shower, I get dressed and go back to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. It’s only when I pour the hot water into the cup that I remember. “Shit, I have to stop doing that.”

  I involuntarily wince from swearing, then quickly realise I’m all alone.

  “Shit, fuck, wank, bollocks, bastard, fucktard, fucker, arsehole, shitbag, fucking prick.” I laugh. That felt really good.

  Pouring the coffee down the sink, I grab a teabag and make myself a cup. I feel like I will need the energy. Realising I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday, I make some toast. I place my hand on my stomach.

  “I’ve got someone else to think about now,” I say, rubbing soothingly.

  As I stand there, I wonder what will happen now. Things have changed. I promised this baby to a couple I thought was on solid ground. Who I thought loved each other completely. I know differently now—well, at least on Sarah’s part. Faced with the knowledge of what happened yesterday, I find myself at a crossroads. Knowing what I know now, can I still give up this baby?

  A sharp, intense feeling washes over me. I place a hand on my belly again. I’ve known I’m pregnant for less than twenty-four hours, but I already feel fiercely protective of this baby. My logic puts it down to the fact that the so-called mother is a disloyal, heartless person who doesn’t deserve to have my baby.

  My baby.

  Tears start to well in my eyes. “I’m having a baby,” I say out loud, as if only just realising it. I can’t tell anyone. Not yet. I need to first think about what I’m going to do before giving out such information. Sarah may want to take the baby away from me, but I can’t let her. Ethan obviously has a say, but I’m sure he’ll need to wrap his head around what Sarah did first. I can’t just lay this out on him now. It wouldn’t be fair.

  Sitting down at my kitchen island, I drink my tea and eat my toast. Once finished, I clean up, then grab my phone to look up some telephone numbers. I dial a couple, finding what I want. Twenty minutes later, an emergency locksmith arrives and changes the locks on my doors. There’s no way I’m going to let Kyle back into this house because if he gets in, he won’t leave. I already know he doesn’t do idle threats. Besides, the vast majority of the money put into this house was from what my parents left me in their will. Thanks to them, we only have a small mortgage, which is what has enabled us to save money.

  Right after the locksmith leaves, a couple removal men arrive. I point them in the direction of my bedroom. Soon after, they bring parts of the bed down.

  “Are you sure you want to get rid of this, love? It looks virtually brand new,” one of the men says with a crooked smile.

  “Let me put it this way… Would you want to keep the bed on which you found your wife shagging your best friend of eighteen years?”

  His expression is so shocked, it almost makes me laugh. “Um, on second thought, I think you could do with a new one. It didn’t look very comfortable anyway.”

  I smile. “Exactly my thought.”

  They load the bed up, then the same guy comes up and hands me a piece of paper to sign. I sign it and pay him, plus a little tip.

  “Thanks, love,” he says, turning to leave. Then he hesitates, looking back at me. “For what it’s worth, this husband of yours is an arsehole.” He gives me that crooked smile. It’s actually rather endearing.

  “Thank you,” I reply.

  “Don’t mention it.” He salutes me with one finger and walks away. “Good luck,” he shouts, climbing into the truck.

  Waving, I shut the door and look at the time. It’s almost nine, so I decide to call Sally and let her know I’m not coming in. She always arrives a little early anyway.

  Picking up the phone, I dial her direct number. She answers after two rings. “Sally?”

  “Alice, is that you? You never called me last night. How did it go?”

  I bite my lip. I forgot I was supposed to call her. “Something came up. Something that’s changed things a little.”

  “What happened?” I hear the concern in her voice.

  I sigh. “When I got home yesterday afternoon, I caught Kyle in bed with someone else.”

  She gasps. “No!”

  “But that’s not the worst part.”

  “The person was a man?”

  Without meaning to, I laugh. “No, but I would have much rather preferred that.”

  “Who was it?”

  “Sarah.”

  “Sarah!” she screeches. “As in your best friend since you were in school Sarah? You mean, the Sarah who you were willing to be a surrogate for?”

  “The one and o
nly.”

  “That selfish bitch!” I hear her exhale loudly. “Oh, Alice, I’m so sorry.”

  Tears start to well again, but I try to compose myself. “It’s happened. Now I have to deal with it.”

  “Did you at least kick that bastard out of the house?”

  I chuckle. “I did.”

  “Good.” She remains silent for a moment. “Do they know about the baby?”

  “Only you and I know so far. I plan on keeping it that way for now, so please don’t say anything.”

  “Of course not. If that’s what you want, I’ll support you all the way.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I mean it, Alice. If you need anything, I’m here. Hell, if it comes to it, I’ll even help you raise the baby.” Hearing her say that brings a pang to my stomach. “You’re keeping the baby, aren’t you? Please don’t tell me you’re still going to let her have it after what she did to you.”

  I bite my lip again, conflicted. “A promise is a promise. At the same time, I can’t bring myself to hand over a baby to someone who is willing to ruin a friendship like she has.”

  “I don’t blame you. If she’s that uncaring and selfish with you, how is she going to be with a child? If anyone deserves to bring up a baby, it’s you. You’re the one who will be up during all hours of the night feeding, changing nappies, and burping before soothing them back to sleep again. And I’ll bet you’d do it without a grumble and with a smile on your face. You’re the mother here. Sarah doesn’t deserve any of this. It’s only right that the baby be with you.”

  I suck in a breath, thinking of Ethan. “That’s easier said than done because there’s someone else in the equation. He needs to know.”

  “He does, but just think about you and what you need right now. That baby’s not going anywhere for the next eight months, so don’t start making too many quick decisions. Take time, weigh the options, and become one hundred percent certain. Then you can tell him.”

  I smile. “Yeah. I’ll do that.”

  “I have to go, sweetie, but I’ll let Roger know you’re still sick.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Would you like me to come visit tomorrow? I’ve been told I do a mean spinach pie. It’ll be great for the baby.”

  “That would be great, but what about Larry?”

  “He’s going to visit his mum in Scotland. He asked me to come, but I don’t feel like I’m quite there yet.”

  “Do you still like him?”

  “Of course. I just think that after only three months, it’s a little too soon. I’ll see where we are after six.”

  “Probably wise.”

  “Yes, listen to your aunt Sally.” We both laugh. “Will you be okay, hon?”

  I sigh. “No, but I will be eventually.”

  “I know it’s easy for me to say, but keep your chin up. It’s actually a good thing this has happened. At least you know just how much of a douche your husband and best friend really are. It’s better to find this out now...especially after yesterday.”

  “You’re right. I’m glad I know. I’m just not glad that it happened. If only it had been with anyone else.” I feel my tears come again and shake myself out of it. I know I will have to confront her at some point, but I’m way too angry right now.

  “She’s a Grade A cow who was never deserving of you. I saw the way she used to look at Roger those times she would meet you for lunch. She made it plainly obvious that she fancied him. I think she would hump anything with two legs.” I know I shouldn’t laugh, but I can’t help it. “That’s better,” she says, a smile in her voice. “Listen, I really have to go, but call me if you need anything. Shall I come over at six tomorrow?”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then. I know you can’t drink, but I’ll bring a bottle of wine and just drink your half for you.”

  I start laughing. “Okay. Sounds like a plan.”

  “Bye, sweetie.”

  “Bye,” I say, hanging up.

  Immediately, I look at the list I wrote down this morning and call for a new bed to be delivered as soon as possible. It’s expensive, but I figure I need to spoil myself. Judging by the picture on the website, it looks extremely comfortable. I could do with a bit of comfort right now. Once that’s done, I smile, but it soon fades when I stare at the last phone number on my list. Sighing, I start dialling.

  “Bradshaw and Row, how can I help you?”

  “Good morning. May I speak with Chris Row?”

  “He’s with a client right now. Can I take your name and number so he can call you back?”

  “Yes, please. That would be great. Can you tell him that Alice Armstrong called? I wish to speak with him about divorcing my husband.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Nervously, I sit in the reception area, clutching my bag. It’s been four hours since I spoke to Chris Row on the phone. Luckily, he seemed very nice and keen to help. After giving him a brief summary on the phone, he asked me to come in at two thirty. I look across at the only other person here, a woman about my age, who smiles. It’s a nervous smile, possibly like the one I’m wearing. I sit back in my chair and take a deep breath, linking my fingers on my lap. As I glance down at them, a wave of sadness flows through me when I contemplate why I’m here.

  I never dreamed I’d be sitting here, waiting to divorce Kyle. I knew he could be an arsehole at times, but this just proved it without a shadow of a doubt. This morning, after I finished making all the phone calls, I waited for the grief of losing my husband to come. Nothing happened. I just felt numb. But when I thought of Sarah, the tears fell. I started to wonder if there was anything I could think of that would excuse the reason she betrayed me so deeply. Was I a bad friend? Was I never there for her? Did I ever upset her in any way?

  All of the questions swirled around my head until it hurt, but they all had one answer. No. I have always been there for Sarah. In fact, I can’t recall a time I wasn’t there for her. Even on my wedding day when she cried on my shoulder after having an argument with Ethan. I was dressed up and ready to walk down the aisle, but I held everyone up just so I could give my best friend a few extra minutes of comfort.

  After crying, I wiped away the tears and stared at myself in the mirror of the waiting room. It was then, seeing the hurt on my face, that I started to become angry. I wanted to hit something, preferably Sarah. I have never wanted to hit anybody before, but I wanted to at that moment. I wanted her to hurt like she hurt me. I wanted her to feel the same pain I felt after witnessing her being fucked by my husband.

  “Mrs. Armstrong?” a lady calls.

  I snap my head up to see a young lady with a smart white blouse, black skirt, black high heels, and even a higher ponytail smiling at me. “Mr. Row will see you now.” She motions toward the doorway, so I get up and follow her to another door at the far end of the corridor. She knocks. Soon after, I hear a muffled male voice.

  “Come in!” She opens the door. When I walk into the room, he stands. “Mrs. Armstrong, how nice to meet you.”

  The young man doesn’t even look as old as I am. He has blond hair and light blue eyes. I sense mischief in those eyes, but also something else.

  “Please, call me Alice,” I respond, shaking his hand. He motions toward a seat. “In fact, speaking of names, I would like my divorce to include the changing of my married name back to my maiden name.”

  Mr. Row sits behind his desk and looks through his notes. “Ah, back to Fairchild, correct?” I nod. “Okay, so you’re definitely wanting to divorce your husband…” He checks his notes again, “Kyle.” I nod again. “Can I ask on what grounds?”

  I take a deep breath. “On the grounds that I caught him in bed with my best friend of eighteen years.”

  His eyes widen a little. “Ouch.”

  I smile at his informality. “Ouch indeed.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.”

  “You haven’t. To be honest, I’m more upset about my best friend than
I am my husband. Kyle has always been…” I sigh, trying to find the right words as I look away, embarrassed, “oversexed. He is a selfish man.”

  His thick brows furrow. “Would it be too intrusive and rude to ask why you were married to him?”

  I chuckle. Why was I even married to him? “Kyle was my first. He’s all I’ve ever known.”

  Grabbing a pen, Mr. Row starts to write down some notes. He carries on scribbling as he asks questions. “So you were a totally faithful wife?”

  Suddenly feeling the weight of the last few years with Kyle, I sigh. “I guess I may have been too faithful.”

  As if sensing my changing mood, he looks up. “I’m sorry if this is difficult for you.”

  I shake my head. “It’s fine. I guess I’m only just realising how much of my life was devoted to him. So many years have gone by, and all of it with one man. A man who obviously thought so little of our marriage.”

  Mr. Row carries on scribbling furiously. “Okay, this is good,” he mumbles, more to himself than me. Once he finishes, he looks up briefly. “I understand that you want to keep the house?”

  I nod. “Only because the vast majority of it was bought with my inheritance from my parents. I placed a down payment of one hundred thousand on it. The remainder was put into a joint savings account.”

  He starts writing again. “Okay, and how much was left over after the purchase of your property?”

  “Around twenty thousand.”

  “And do you have any paperwork to that effect?”

  I nod, grabbing my handbag and pulling out the envelope of documents I had gathered before coming here. I hand it over. “In there is a copy of the will and the transactions made. As you will see, we have a very small mortgage that has allowed us to save some more. We were supposed to be saving for a baby.”

  He looks up from his pad. “Were you trying for a baby?”

  I shake my head. “Kyle would always find a way to put it off. We had a three-year plan when we married, but that turned into more than five years. He was desperate for a Porsche, and I was desperate for a baby. In the end, I relented and let him have his Porsche.”