The Decameron, Volume II

find this dance, And better might it be:So, comrade mine, advance, And, changing place with me,Stand thou thy love beside.

  NOVEL III.

  --Calandrino, Bruno and Buffalmacco go in quest of the heliotrope besidethe Mugnone. Thinking to have found it, Calandrino gets him home ladenwith stones. His wife chides him: whereat he waxes wroth, beats her, andtells his comrades what they know better than he.--

  Ended Pamfilo's story, which moved the ladies to inextinguishablelaughter, the queen bade Elisa follow suit: whereupon, laughing, she thusbegan:--I know not, debonair my ladies, whether with my little story,which is no less true than entertaining, I shall give you occasion tolaugh as much as Pamfilo has done with his, but I will do my best.

  In our city, where there has never been lack of odd humours and queerfolk, there dwelt, no long time ago, a painter named Calandrino, a simplesoul, of uncouth manners, that spent most of his time with two otherpainters, the one Bruno, the other Buffalmacco, by name, pleasant fellowsenough, but not without their full share of sound and shrewd sense, andwho kept with Calandrino for that they not seldom found his singular waysand his simplicity very diverting. There was also at the same time atFlorence one Maso del Saggio, a fellow marvellously entertaining by hiscleverness, dexterity and unfailing resource; who having heard somewhattouching Calandrino's simplicity, resolved to make fun of him by playinghim a trick, and inducing him to believe some prodigy. And happening oneday to come upon Calandrino in the church of San Giovanni, where he sateintently regarding the paintings and intaglios of the tabernacle abovethe altar, which had then but lately been set there, he deemed time andplace convenient for the execution of his design; which he accordinglyimparted to one of his comrades: whereupon the two men drew nigh theplace where Calandrino sate alone, and feigning not to see him fell atalking of the virtues of divers stones, of which Maso spoke as aptly andpertinently as if he had been a great and learned lapidary. Calandrinoheard what passed between them, and witting that 'twas no secret, after awhile got up, and joined them, to Maso's no small delight. He thereforecontinued his discourse, and being asked by Calandrino, where thesestones of such rare virtues were to be found, made answer:--"Chiefly inBerlinzone, in the land of the Basques. The district is called Bengodi,and there they bind the vines with sausages, and a denier will buy agoose and a gosling into the bargain; and on a mountain, all of gratedParmesan cheese, dwell folk that do nought else but make macaroni andraviuoli,(1) and boil them in capon's broth, and then throw them down tobe scrambled for; and hard by flows a rivulet of Vernaccia, the best thatever was drunk, and never a drop of water therein." "Ah! 'tis a sweetcountry!" quoth Calandrino; "but tell me, what becomes of the capons thatthey boil?" "They are all eaten by the Basques," replied Maso.Then:--"Wast thou ever there?" quoth Calandrino. Whereupon:--"Was I everthere, sayst thou?" replied Maso. "Why, if I have been there once, I havebeen there a thousand times." "And how many miles is't from here?" quothCalandrino. "Oh!" returned Maso, "more than thou couldst number in anight without slumber." "Farther off, then, than the Abruzzi?" saidCalandrino. "Why, yes, 'tis a bit farther," replied Maso.

  Now Calandrino, like the simple soul that he was, marking the composedand grave countenance with which Maso spoke, could not have believed himmore thoroughly, if he had uttered the most patent truth, and thus takinghis words for gospel:--"'Tis a trifle too far for my purse," quoth he;"were it nigher, I warrant thee, I would go with thee thither one while,just to see the macaroni come tumbling down, and take my fill thereof.But tell me, so good luck befall thee, are none of these stones, thathave these rare virtues, to be found in these regions?" "Ay," repliedMaso, "two sorts of stone are found there, both of virtues extraordinary.The one sort are the sandstones of Settignano and Montisci, which beingmade into millstones, by virtue thereof flour is made; wherefore 'tis acommon saying in those countries that blessings come from God andmillstones from Montisci: but, for that these sandstones are in greatplenty, they are held cheap by us, just as by them are emeralds, whereofthey have mountains, bigger than Monte Morello, that shine at midnight, aGod's name! And know this, that whoso should make a goodly pair ofmillstones, and connect them with a ring before ever a hole was drilledin them, and take them to the Soldan, should get all he would havethereby. The other sort of stone is the heliotrope, as we lapidaries callit, a stone of very great virtue, inasmuch as whoso carries it on hisperson is seen, so long as he keep it, by never another soul, where he isnot." "These be virtues great indeed," quoth Calandrino; "but where isthis second stone to be found?" Whereto Maso made answer that there wereusually some to be found in the Mugnone. "And what are its size andcolour?" quoth Calandrino. "The size varies," replied Maso, "for some arebigger and some smaller than others; but all are of the same colour,being nearly black." All these matters duly marked and fixed in hismemory, Calandrino made as if he had other things to attend to, and tookhis leave of Maso with the intention of going in quest of the stone, butnot until he had let his especial friends, Bruno and Buffalmacco, know ofhis project. So, that no time might be lost, but, postponing everythingelse, they might begin the quest at once, he set about looking for them,and spent the whole morning in the search. At length, when 'twas alreadypast none, he called to mind that they would be at work in the Faentinewomen's convent, and though 'twas excessively hot, he let nothing standin his way, but at a pace that was more like a run than a walk, hied himthither; and so soon as he had made them ware of his presence, thus hespoke:--"Comrades, so you are but minded to hearken to me, 'tis in ourpower to become the richest men in Florence; for I am informed by onethat may be trusted that there is a kind of stone in the Mugnone whichrenders whoso carries it invisible to every other soul in the world.Wherefore, methinks, we were wise to let none have the start of us, butgo search for this stone without any delay. We shall find it without adoubt, for I know what 'tis like, and when we have found it, we have butto put it in the purse, and get us to the moneychangers, whose counters,as you know, are always laden with groats and florins, and help ourselvesto as many as we have a mind to. No one will see us, and so, hey presto!we shall be rich folk in the twinkling of an eye, and have no more needto go besmearing the walls all day long like so many snails." WhereatBruno and Buffalmacco began only to laugh, and exchanging glances, madeas if they marvelled exceedingly, and expressed approval of Calandrino'sproject. Then Buffalmacco asked, what might be the name of the stone.Calandrino, like the numskull that he was, had already forgotten thename: so he made answer:--"Why need we concern ourselves with the name,since we know the stone's virtue? methinks, we were best to go look forit, and waste no more time." "Well, well," said Bruno, "but what are thesize and shape of the stone?" "They are of all sizes and shapes," saidCalandrino, "but they are all pretty nearly black; wherefore, methinks,we were best to collect all the black stones that we see until we hitupon it: and so, let us be off, and lose no more time." "Nay, but," saidBruno, "wait a bit." And turning to Buffalmacco:--"Methinks," quoth he,"that Calandrino says well: but I doubt this is not the time for suchwork, seeing that the sun is high, and his rays so flood the Mugnone asto dry all the stones; insomuch that stones will now shew as white thatin the morning, before the sun had dried them, would shew as black:besides which, to-day being a working-day, there will be for one cause oranother folk not a few about the Mugnone, who, seeing us, might guesswhat we were come for, and peradventure do the like themselves; wherebyit might well be that they found the stone, and we might miss the trot bytrying after the amble. Wherefore, so you agree, methinks we were best togo about it in the morning, when we shall be better able to distinguishthe black stones from the white, and on a holiday, when there will benone to see us."

  Buffalmacco's advice being approved by Bruno, Calandrino chimed in; andso 'twas arranged that they should all three go in quest of the stone onthe following Sunday. So Calandrino, having besought his companions aboveall things to let never a soul in the world hear aught of the matter, forthat it had been imparted to him in strict confidence, and having toldthem what he had hea
rd touching the land of Bengodi, the truth of whichhe affirmed with oaths, took leave of them; and they concerted theirplan, while Calandrino impatiently expected the Sunday morning. Whereon,about dawn, he arose, and called them; and forth they issued by the Portaa San Gallo, and hied them to the Mugnone, and following its course,began their quest of the stone, Calandrino, as was natural, leading theway, and jumping lightly from rock to rock, and wherever he espied ablack stone, stooping down, picking it up and putting it in the fold ofhis tunic, while his comrades followed, picking up a stone here and astone there.