Someone for Me

  “You need to see this.” I motion him inside, but he’s quick to shake his head. “Have it your way.” Honestly, I don’t have a clue what’s gotten into him. I strip down to nothing and hop back into my heels. If Cruise Elton refuses to have sex with a naked woman in kitten heels, then I’ll know for sure something’s wrong—especially when the naked woman in question happens to be me. I fluff out my hair and it covers my boobs, leaving my nipples poking out as if they don’t want to miss any of the action. I crack the door and stick a leg out, and he gives a whistle. My lips press in, holding back the smile that wants to let loose because that little vocal gesture just so happens to have me swimming with relief. I bolt out the door and do the big reveal, and his eyes ride up and down my body with a lewd grin perking on his lips. There’s the Cruise Elton I know and love.

  “Okay.” His features dim as he takes me in, but that lusty look in his eyes is proving impossible to extinguish, not that I want to. “Go ahead and get your clothes on. They’re waiting for us downstairs.”

  And there goes the Cruise Elton I know and love.

  “Who cares?” I strut forward, parting my legs just enough to pique his interest.

  “Hot damn.” Cruise bites down a smile and lands his hand on my bare bottom. He presses into me and takes in a breath through his teeth. “Fuck, Kenny.”

  “Yes, fuck Kenny.” I nod into the idea. Technically, it’s Penny I’m channeling, and I’m desperately trying to bring out the Cruz in him.

  “Mmm.” He shakes his head. “I am dust.”

  I can feel the hard protrusion through his jeans growing at a promising rate, so I press my thigh into it, acknowledging the fact.

  A burst of laughter emits from downstairs, with Morgan’s being the most obnoxious, and it causes that lewd grin to slide right off Cruise’s face.

  “On second thought.” His hands ride up to my shoulders, and he gently puts us at arm’s length. “We’d better not.”

  “No, it’s fine. They’re all having a great time. They’ll hardly even notice we’re missing.”

  “Oh, they’ll notice.” He nods like it’s a fact. “I’ll just wait for you at the bottom of the steps.”

  “No.” I try to hold on to him by digging my heels into the floor but he keeps moving, and I end up sliding along with him like a naked three-year-old who refuses to leave a toy store.

  “Kenny.” He tries to gently peel me off.

  “Cruise.” I’m quick to unbuckle his belt and undo his jeans, like I’m trying to rescue his penis from a denim blaze he’s currently engulfed in.

  “Don’t do that,” he says with a dull laugh, as if he’s resigned to the fact, and yet he’s still dragging us down the hall toward the stairwell.

  “You mean don’t do this?” I pull his spare appendage free and hold it up as if the two of us are proclaiming victory, only in this case Cruise himself is sort of the villain working against us.

  “Careful there.” That cute grin breaks out on his face as he tries to put his dick back inside his boxers, but I won’t let go and there’s no way in hell he’s going to shake me off.

  “Face it,” I whisper as he tries to pry me off like a snake. “We’re going to have hot mansion sex right here whether you like it or not.” I leap onto his waist and Cruise bounces off-kilter. “You used to be into this, remember?”

  “Maybe I’m not into that stuff anymore.” His lips cinch at the tips. “I think—” Cruise trips and staggers to regain his balance.

  “Whoa.” I grip his hair and pull his head into my chest as he stumbles into the thick stone railing.

  To my chagrin I spot Morgan at the bottom of the stairwell. Then it’s all a blur. Cruise tumbling down the first few steps. My naked body sliding off him rather ingloriously, with his face then touching down in an area my brother should never bear witness to. We tumble in opposite directions, with Cruise trying to snatch me back by the hair, and then the unthinkable happens—I tumble right into my brother’s arms. Morgan catches me awkwardly, his hand settling square over one boob. I let out a scream worthy of a good horror story, which is exactly what this night is shaping up to be. Then Morgan screams as he gingerly sets me down on the landing. A fire pumps through his eyes as he openly glares at Cruise.

  “You!” Morgan wastes no time in lunging for him, and poor Cruise hardly has time to put away his boy toy. Before he has a chance to properly get dressed, he tries to deflect Morgan, and his unnaturally large man-parts are sort of flapping with the girth of his hard-on still semi-erect.

  “Stop!” I try to pluck Morgan off Cruise before they break one another’s necks, just as Aunt Jackie runs to the base of the stairs.

  “What the hell?” she shrieks. “They’re all naked!”

  “Oh, they’re not naked,” Mom counters from the other room. “You’re three sheets to the wind!” She clip-clops over just as I scamper up the stairs. “Oh hell!” Mom barks. “They are naked!”

  Andrew, Pen, and Ally rush to the foot of the stairs just as I peer from behind the hall.

  “Cruise!” Aunt Jackie hollers. “My God, you have a third arm! You didn’t get that from your father, you know!”

  Mom swats her. It’s nice to see they haven’t let a little thing like marrying the same man get in the way of their friendship—although, technically, Jackie wanted the divorce.

  Andrew and Pen run up the stairs and wrangle the boys apart, leaving Cruise with his spare parts dangling awkwardly for all to see.

  Aunt Jackie bursts into applause, and I’m pretty sure it’s Cruise’s penis she’s cheering. I’d join her, but right about now the only thing I feel like bursting into is tears, so I do.

  Loud, whimpering, harrowing cries come from deep within me, and a sense of silence settles over the house—followed by the sound of Cruise’s zipper as he safely tucks away the very thing he doesn’t seem to want to give me.

  “Hey, come here.” He tries to pull me in but I jerk my arm back.

  “No, it’s okay.” I run into the bedroom, totally humiliated. Eventually, Ally and Mom come in to see what’s the matter.

  “It’s complicated.” I sniff into a tissue while Aunt Jackie appears with a purple quilted robe, then I slip it on. “I’ll talk to you about it some other time.” I hiccup as I offer my mother a hug.

  “Ally? Do you think I can get a ride home with you guys?”

  “Absolutely.” Ally nods.

  “Thank you.”

  Little does she know the home I mean is hers.

  It looks like the final chapter of The Naughty Professor will be a total work of fiction, and nothing could depress me more.

  Cruise

  I head downstairs, barrel out the front door to cool off, and Morgan follows me, looking for trouble.

  “Hey.” He gets in my face, so I give him a good shove that sends him flying.

  “What the hell do you want now?”

  “Relax.” He sticks his oversized mitt in my chest. “I came out to let you know Kendall is coming home with me. She says she’s embarrassed—she needs some time to think.”

  I pause for a second, just staring at him wild-eyed because I couldn’t have heard him right.

  “What do you mean she’s going home with you? I’ll take her home.” My heart thumps in my chest. That altercation we just had was pretty huge. She’s got to be confused as to why I rejected her like that. I glare at her moron of a brother because he very well knows why. I bet he’s been orchestrating a breakup from the start.

  Before I can accuse him of anything, Ally speeds Kenny out. Kenny’s body is wrapped in a robe, and her face is slicked with tears. She turns her head away as the two of them pass me.

  “Kenny, wait.” I try to move past Morgan but he holds me back.

  “She doesn’t want to talk to you,” he rumbles. “Give us a few minutes before you take off. She wants to run by the cabin and pick up her things.”

  “What? Kenny!” I shout as Ally entombs her in the truck. “Shit.” I glare at Ke
nny’s useless brother. “This is all your fucking fault. You know that?”

  Morgan inches his head back. “You’re the asswipe who doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. Get the message, douche bag, girls don’t want to be treated that way.”

  “Yeah? Well, Kenny does.”

  He pulls back and lands his fist on my jaw, and I crash into the bushes.

  “You stay the hell away from my sister, asshole. Or I’m going to rip your pretty little head off next time.” He stomps over to his truck.

  “No, wait.” I try to move, but I’m effectively pinned by the branches. It’s as if the entire universe is against Kenny and me. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

  Just what did I mean? I’m an asshole all right—for not giving in to Kenny’s insatiable needs and for giving in to Morgan’s instead.

  A few days tremble by, and Kenny refuses my phone calls and visits. I’ve intercepted Ally a few times, and she insists Kenny just needs a little time to clear her head and cool down.

  I sit in the kitchen as the sun comes up, thinking the entire world took a shit on my shoulders. My head feels stiff and my brain vibrates from lack of sleep. Overall, it’s like I just stepped out of the microwave.

  Every day without Kenny has been a nightmare. Morgan threatened to get a restraining order if I so much as made one more drive-by in the middle of the night. I can’t help it, though. Everything’s fallen to crap without her. I miss her beautiful face in the morning, the sweet smell of her hair, her soft body crushing up against mine. I even rifled through the bags at the foot of our bed and took a look at all the things Kenny had bought for the two of us to enjoy together. Every bracket and racket you would want to pleasure your partner with was in those bags, and now every last part of me wishes she were here to do those things with me. Hell, I’d let her have her way with me on the roof in broad daylight if she wanted. Or in downtown Carrington—in front of the entire student population at Garrison. And even in front of her cock-blocking brother. I’d do anything she wanted, anywhere, anytime, and anyhow, so long as she’d have me back. I had paradise in my arms, but now she’s left me and there’s nothing to embrace but the stale air in the cabin.

  The door rattles from down the hall, and Molly staggers out wearing nothing but a T-shirt that barely covers her bottom. Sadly, that, too, reminds me of Kenny. A skimpy T-shirt just so happens to be what she throws on in the morning after a long night of sleeping naked in my arms. That’s my favorite part about us—sleeping intertwined, her warm body pressed against mine.

  “Get dressed,” I gruff. “I don’t want to see you like that.”

  “As if I’d listen to you.” Molly reaches into the fridge and starts plucking out the ingredients for a buffet breakfast.

  “You should listen to what I say. You’re my sister. Trust me—you don’t want to go around dressed that way.”

  “You can’t tell me what to wear. This was all Kendall wore when her brother was here, and you didn’t hear him complaining.” She shakes her head. “Some guys understand their sisters have to grow up, but not you . . .” Molly rambles on and on, but her blabber quickly turns into white noise—and all I hear is indiscernible mumbling, albeit irate and directed at me.

  Wait a minute. Morgan is definitely not some hero. And for sure he didn’t appreciate Kenny walking around here with nothing on but a T-shirt. It’s all coming into focus. I should have taken what he said in context. The dude is her brother. Of course he doesn’t want to think about Kenny and me having a good time outside our bedroom. Hell, he doesn’t want to think of Kenny and me having a good time inside our bedroom. And for sure he didn’t want to see it with his own two eyes. No wonder he’s gone batshit. I gave him a front-row seat to our sexual shenanigans when we took up residence in his closet for the night. That’s exactly why he lectured the holy crap out of me. I stunned the living shit out of him when he found my hard-on pointed at his sister.

  I wipe my face down with my hand for a moment. Crap. And now he has Kenny safe and sound—fuck-free, might I add, sleeping on his sofa.

  I snap my laptop shut and take in a breath. “I think I’m going to head to Garrison today.”

  Molly shakes her head. “It won’t work. She doesn’t want to see you. Face it—the two of you are ancient history.”

  The bathroom door opens and Professor I-Can’t-Control-My-Hose struts out.

  Crap.

  I grunt out a hello and watch as he wraps his hairy arms around my sister. His bedhead stands erect an inch above his head like I’m betting his dick did last night.

  “That was quite a good morning you gave me.” Molly pulls him into a kiss by way of his overgrown ears.

  Okay, so that incher of his reprised itself this morning. My palms flatten out over the table and my legs pump a mile a minute. It’s taking everything in me to keep from sticking his face in that sizzling frying pan.

  A light knock lands on the door and I fly to it, hoping to see the most beautiful brunette in the world, but it’s not Kenny.

  “Mom.” I pull her into a brief hug and help her inside with her suitcase. “Boy, have we missed you. Isn’t that right, Moll?” I give a shit-eating grin toward the lovebirds in the kitchen. I happen to know for a fact nothing kills a boner faster than having someone’s mother show up.

  “What’s going on with the B and B?” She pulls me in. “You’ve really got that thing packed to the hilt. I’m proud of you, son.”

  I don’t bother telling her I’m getting ready to initiate third world assault tactics to get them out. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll turn the whole damn thing into a bonfire if I have to, right after I make sure we have fire insurance.

  “Thanks.” I give her a gentle pat on the back.

  She fills us in on how Grandma’s doing—which is fine, apparently. They’re back to not getting along, which is the status quo, so in that sense I guess it’s good news. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a quick shower.” I hold a hand out at the moron standing in nothing but his boxers next to my half-naked sister. “Feel free to engage in a parent-teacher conference if you like.”

  I head off to grab a clean towel. It’s time to get ready for Kenny. There’s no way I’m letting another day slip by without her.

  And I don’t care what her brother has to say about that.

  Garrison University is covered in a robe of gray clouds. The trees are dusted with fog, and even the crows that streak across the bleak sky sound as if they’re crying out in pain. It’s as though the entire world is reflecting how I feel—how absolutely miserable I am without Kenny in my life. She took the light, and all the oxygen I need to breathe, right along with her.

  I walk past the tall, Gothic-like building that once housed my office and cringe. Maybe Morgan’s not that moronic. After all, it was my reckless behavior that put my entire future on the line. A dull smile plays on my lips. Then again, I don’t regret a moment of that reckless behavior since it involved the love of my life. I walk past the brick building with a heavy feeling—without Kenny in my life it’s as though I’ve hoisted the whole damn school onto my back.

  “Mr. Elton?” A familiar male voice booms from behind me. I turn to find Dr. Barney and with him is—son of a gun. “Professor Bradshaw?” I go over and offer a heartfelt hug. “Damn, you look good.” I don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone of the same gender, but here he is—looking fit and pleasantly plump, his old self.

  “Why, thank you.” He socks me in the arm as we part. “I’m feeling fine these days. Doctor says I’m healthy as a horse and stubborn as a mule.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.” Last I heard his cancer was in remission, but looking at him, you’d think he never went through hell in the first place. He was skin over bones last year, and now he’s right back to where he started.

  “I heard a few things myself.” He crimps his lips with disappointment. “A woman—these sacred halls—very little clothing.” He shakes his head. “Sounds like a gender rela
tions nightmare—or success story.” He gives a little chuckle. “I guess that depends on how you view it.” He belts out a hearty laugh and Dr. Barney joins in.

  “It was definitely a success.” Until a week ago, but I omit that tiny detail.

  “So what brings you to campus?” Dr. Barney looks suddenly suspicious, as he should, since my motives are anything but chaste. That is, if Kenny will give me a second glance.

  “I was just meeting up with a friend.”

  “Listen, Cruise”—Professor Bradshaw leans in and pokes his finger in my chest—“I’m willing to go out on a limb for you. If you still want it, I’ll find a way to get you reinstated into the graduate program. Just keep your nose clean from now on. I’ve got your number. I’ll contact you as soon as I get confirmation. Does that sound good to you?”

  My stomach cycles like I’m going to be sick in a good fucking way. “Hell yes, that sounds good to me.” An entire flood of relief pours through my veins. Then the bed-and-breakfast rushes through my head, and I sort of miss the place even though I haven’t set foot in it for months. I like the thought of running it, but there’s no reason I can’t do both. “I look forward to hearing from you.”

  We say good-bye, and I spin toward the student café, where Kenny hangs out when she doesn’t have class.

  My heart races. My blood pumps a million miles an hour, and I can feel the adrenaline rocketing through me. It’s turning out to be my lucky day, and I have a good feeling it’s about to get even luckier. If I’m smart I’ll ride the coattails of this new wave of fortune and kick the Plague out on their nonpaying rears before the week is through. And if things really go my way, I might have enough luck to put the B and B back together and rent it out in time for the holidays. There’s nothing like Christmas in Carrington. My heart sinks at the thought because if I don’t have Kenny in my life this Christmas, it’s going to break me in ways that I’ve never imagined. Just thinking about losing her—losing our precious wedding day—makes my heart ache.