Someone for Me

  I step over to the café, scanning the place for my lovely bride, and a frown takes over. No sign of my favorite brunette. But buried in the back, texting into her phone with the force of a Cat 5 hurricane is my least favorite blonde—Blair. And to think that at one time I thought she was going to be Mrs. Cruise Elton. That’s one disaster I’m glad I escaped.

  I head over and her face brightens when she sees me.

  “Well, look who it is!” She leaps up and embraces me with her wandering hands, and I carefully extract her from my person. “I’ve been looking forward to spending time with you ever since you begged for a little alone time on Halloween.” Her voice hits that annoying upper register, and I try not to groan audibly as I take a seat across from her.

  “That’s funny, I don’t remember begging.” I try not to smirk. After all, I want something from her.

  “Isn’t that funny?” Her features soften as she twirls a cup of coffee in her hands. “Everyone has their own version of how things happen.” She presses her lips together for a moment.

  “It’s like my grandfather used to say: every pancake has two sides.”

  “He was a wise man.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and her eyes glitter up for a moment. “I remember your grandpa. I remember a lot of things about you—about us.”

  Here we go. Not sure I want to walk down memory lane today and for sure not with Blair.

  She shakes her head, and her lips shrivel up for a moment. “I thought I’d be the one marrying you one day. I spent my whole life pining for you and then when we finally got together I was so happy.” That last word fades to nothing. It’s becoming clear Blair is close to genuine tears.

  Shit.

  “I really screwed things up royally, didn’t I?” she sniffs.

  “I think we both sort of wiped out together,” I offer. “Our relationship wasn’t near what it was toward the end as it was in the beginning.” I’m not sure I should have gone there, but nevertheless it’s true. We started off with stars in our eyes and ended in a pit of quicksand. Ironic, because that seems to be the trajectory Kenny and I have followed, and now the unappealing reality has me scared shitless.

  “Yeah, I felt you cooling things off,” she whispers. “I’m not blaming you for what I did. I’m just saying I noticed the kisses were decreasing—you weren’t holding me in public the way you used to, and I just wanted to feel special again.” She cradles her coffee and gives a hard sniff. “Rutger gave me that.”

  I press into my seat and sag. “I remember the day I found out you were with him. I was pretty ticked.” More than ticked. “I got shitfaced and wanted to beat the crap out of everyone in sight. Then you took off with that douche from Dartmouth.” My chest bumps with a laugh. “But I guess I knew it was over before any of that ever happened. I think we were together for so long we didn’t know how to get off the train.”

  “We could still try.” Desperation grows in her eyes. “I still feel something for you, Cruise. Neither of us is married. We could start out as friends and see where things go?” She clasps me by the wrist and instinctually I glance over my shoulder because this is usually when the universe tries to inject Kenny in the scene, but, thankfully, there’s no sign of her.

  “Look”—I gently slip out of her grasp—“I get it. I’m sorry you still feel so strongly, but I’m not there anymore. And the fact you deliberately got me fired, almost cost Morgan his scholarship—that you hit Kendall . . . It’s not cool. I can’t be okay with any of that.”

  “I know.” She gives a hard sniff. “I wish there was some way to make it up to all of you.” Tears flow from her freely and her lips quiver. “I love you so much that it makes me insane to see you with anybody else. I wish you’d put yourself in my shoes for once. Imagine how much pain you’d be in if you made one stupid mistake and you lost Kenny. If you hurt this much you wouldn’t mind taking down a job—a scholarship or two. You’d want to lay this bruise over the entire planet so the whole damn world could feel your pain. I fucked up, and now I’ll have the rest of my life to pay for it.”

  My heart breaks for Blair, and I don’t want it to. I want to set her up as the villain, the enemy, like she’s been for so long, but I can’t do it anymore. I can feel the walls crumbling, so I reach over and pull her into a quick hug. She sniffs into my neck. Her chest rattles as she breaks down and cries right here in the student-run coffee shop.

  “I’m sorry you feel so much pain,” I whisper. “I hope you’re happy now with Rutger. I want that for you.”

  I’d die if Kenny met someone else and flaunted her happiness in my face.

  A cold shower splashes over our heads, and both Blair and I jump to our feet, sopping wet.

  Kenny seethes at the two of us, and my heart stops. Looks like the universe was right on time. Her lips quiver. She never takes those cobalt-blue eyes off me. Her dimples wink in and out in rhythm to her anger and she looks cuter than hell, but my heart breaks for her because I wish to God she hadn’t just witnessed a damn thing between Blair and me.

  “I wish I never met you,” Kenny hisses, looking right at me.

  Ally pulls her in. “Let’s get out of here.” She bears her fangs at both Blair and me before hustling Kenny to the door.

  I try to go after her, but Lauren appears from nowhere and gets in my face. “Nice work, dickwad,” she barks.

  “Stop.” Blair pushes her back. “We were just saying good-bye.” She looks up at me with a hint of relief in her dark eyes. “We needed to say some things to each other. We needed to finally let go.”

  “Well, good.” Lauren sharpens her eyes at the two of us. “Now maybe you can both give Kendall some peace. Leave her the hell alone—that goes for you, too, Cruise.” She stalks off after Kenny and Ally.

  “I take it things aren’t going so well between the two of you.” Blair seems to be back to her gloating self.

  “Yeah, well, no one’s perfect.” I say, brushing the excess water off my arms.

  “Sorry to hear it.”

  “We’ll be on track again soon. And when we are, we’d really like to get married on Christmas Eve at the chapel. Any chance you’d gift that date to me?” I give a bleak smile.

  “You know, I really believed we’d be getting on track again soon, and we didn’t.” She shakes her head. “Things don’t always turn out the way we hope, and your dream wedding at the chapel is one of them.” She takes a quick breath. “Sorry”—she shrugs—“there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell.” She picks up her book bag and walks right out the door.

  I shake my head. Same old Blair. Not that I’d give Kenny and some douche my wedding date, either. But then again, all I want is for Kenny to be happy. Hell, I’d give her the wedding date and even show up with bells on as a guest if she’d let me. That’s how much I love Kenny.

  I glance down at my watch. It’s almost time for Kenny’s last class of the day Creative Writing. Maybe I’ll sit in the back and hang out until after. Maybe then I’ll fall to my knees and beg forgiveness for every stupid thing I’ve done these past few months. I only hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me.

  Then again, I’m not so sure I would.

  12

  THE NAUGHTY PROFESSOR

  Kendall

  I’m shaking.”

  I’m physically shaking with rage as Ally and Lauren offer to sit in on my last class of the day, Creative Writing. And to think I was ready to cave and speak with Cruise. I had finally shaken off my embarrassment and was fully prepared to plead mea culpa about the entire situation—then this happened. And why is Blair always at the epicenter of every damn earthquake in our lives? God, I wish she would just disappear.

  Lauren goes up and talks to Kurt for a moment, probably asking permission to stay, but he’s so spaced out half the time he wouldn’t notice if the entire football team took up residence in the classroom. And it’s so damn dark, save for a tiny spotlight above each desk, I’m not sure he really knows who is and who isn’t supposed to be h
ere. Besides, he’ll be too busy chewing granola on the desk with his holey socks while making googly eyes at Molly.

  Lauren swoops back and takes the seat next to me. “It’s all settled.”

  Molly speeds over, and her eyes widen with horror once she gets a good look at me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Your brother,” I hiss without hesitating. I cried like a fool once Ally dragged me out of that coffee shop. I’m sure my mascara has granted me that Alice Cooper effect no girl strives for, and my face is red and blotchy, but I really don’t care. It’s the modern version of dust and ashes, and if Cruise Elton would rather be with Blair Lancaster, then I’m done caring about the way I look—I’m done caring about just about everything.

  Molly’s mouth opens for a moment as she glances over my shoulder, but she reconsiders speaking and settles silently in her seat like a good teacher’s pet.

  “Good afternoon.” Kurt looks right at Molly as he says it. Now that it’s been firmly established they are in l-o-v-e, I want to puke on his shoes, only Kurt’s not wearing any because he systematically takes them off just before he sits on his desk and makes it clear he’s down to one pair of argyle socks.

  Kurt assumes his position on the desk and shifts side to side while getting comfortable, cross-legged, and swear to God, Lauren wretches at the sight.

  “Be glad you have Cal,” I whisper. Unlike me, who has nobody.

  “All right, class.” Kurt has an ironic way of talking down to us and at the same time trying to appeal to us as contemporaries. “Only one session left after Thanksgiving, then it’s finals. And as I told you at the beginning of the semester, the only thing you’ll need to do is email me your story by the fifteenth of December. I should have grades posted by the twenty-fourth.”

  I whimper a little because that used to be my wedding date. I slink down in my seat and Ally hoists me back up.

  “Breathe,” she instructs. “I predict you’ll be happy sooner than you ever imagined.”

  “I can imagine a lot of things, and that’s not one of them.”

  “I have an announcement to make.” Kurt tosses his bag of granola to the side, so this must be serious as shit. Maybe he’s about to propose to Molly, and she’ll get married on Christmas Eve? Nothing can surprise me anymore.

  Kurt stands, and that act alone garners my attention. “Though I haven’t had the privilege of reading all of your work yet, I have had the privilege of reading a handful of stories—and from what I can gather, we’ve got some very talented people in our midst. I’ve no doubt some of you will go on to do great things.” He presses out a devilish grin at Molly, and I roll my eyes. I’m sure visions of her doing him are clouding his perverted mind. “Now, one of you in particular has shown herself to be quite the scribe and extremely prolific, might I add. In fact, I guess you could call her a sexual scribe, if you will.”

  The class breaks out in titters and for a moment I wonder if he’s talking about Molly again, but I have a feeling I’m the sexual scribbler in question. Just great. The day is already in the crapper, so it makes perfect sense for me to be outed in front of my peers. “Ms. Ashby.” He beckons and Lauren gets up and heads to the front of the class with a black paper bag in hand—a cute bag with handles and a little pink bow on the side. Wait . . . she’s not in this class. Why did Kurt call her up?

  I whisper to Ally, “Is she giving him a gift?” What the hell is going on?

  Kurt clears his throat. “The student I was referring to is Ms. Jordan.”

  I suck in a quick breath.

  He holds his hand out to me. “Kendall, would you be so kind to join Ms. Ashby and me up here?”

  Oh God. My entire body ignites, and it feels like I’m about to explode from embarrassment in one bionic blast and take the entire class with me.

  It takes every ounce of energy to evict myself from my seat and head on over. I look out at the class and give a brief, painful smile. It’s dark out there. I can hardly make out Molly or Ally, let alone anyone beyond the second row.

  “Well”—Lauren clears her throat—“when my friend here began this crazy writing journey earlier this semester, I wanted to support her any way I could. Both my friend Ally and I did.” She motions toward Ally, and she happily trots up to stand beside me. “Kendall’s writing was far too delicious to keep within the confines of her laptop, so I went ahead and made Kendall’s work available as a subscription on Sorority Net.” Lauren takes a deep breath as if she’s gearing up for the kicker. “What Kendall didn’t know was that after a few successful weeks, I began selling her stories through other venues as well, and she became a smash hit for those, too.” Lauren tears up, and so do I, because I couldn’t have moved an inch without her and Ally by my side. Cruise, too, but I suppose he’s beside the point right about now. “The surprise, Kendall”—Lauren picks up the cute black bag and dips her hand into it—“is that once you handed me the final chapter of The Naughty Professor . . .” She pulls a paperback out of the bag with the picture of a woman’s hands tied behind her back on the cover. “I had it printed just for you,” Lauren says, carefully handing me the book.

  “Lauren!” I hug her tightly and pull Ally in, too. The class breaks out in mild applause. “I can’t thank you both enough for being there for me.”

  Lauren and Ally pull back.

  “There’s one more thing.” Lauren glances down at the book in my hand. “Something special happened yesterday that sent me to the printers with a quick change for the cover.”

  I glance down. “The Naughty Professor by Kenny Spanx. A USA Today Bestseller,” I read aloud, taking in a never-ending breath.

  “And this . . .” Lauren hands me a slip of paper, and not until I scan it does it register that it’s a check in the amount of $3,000. “There’s more on the way. This is just the initial payment.”

  My heart stops in my chest. It’s all too much for me to comprehend.

  “Congratulations, Ms. Jordan.” Kurt carries on his applause and the class breaks out in a spontaneous roar. “Penny Whoredon and Cruz Belton are quite the erotic powerhouse.” He turns to face the class. “Feel free to join us for refreshments provided by Ms. Ashby in honor of this rare success.”

  The side doors open and a fleet of carts are wheeled in by what appears to be an entire catering staff. Each cart is laden with mugs and carafes and stacks and stacks of . . .

  Lauren frames her mouth with her hands. “Cupcakes from the Cake Chief!”

  “And Starbucks coffee!” Ally shouts with a laugh caught in her throat as the class begins to mill around, and a partylike atmosphere breaks out.

  Ally runs over and swipes cupcakes for the three of us. They’re a beautiful pale blue, just like the cake Cruise and I wanted for our wedding, and my heart breaks a little as I look at them.

  Lauren holds up the tiny frosted confection as if she’s about to make a toast, so Ally and I do the same.

  “To the Naughty Professor!” Lauren chants.

  “To the Naughty Professor,” Ally and I say in unison, albeit much less enthusiastically on my part. After all, unlike Penny, I didn’t get the professor in the end.

  “Can anyone join this party?” a male voice asks sweetly from behind, and I spin on my heels because it sounded just like—Cruise.

  He gives a shy smile and his dimple implodes on one side of his mouth. His pale-blue eyes are the exact color the rain wishes it could be, and I press my lips together to keep from crying at the sight of him.

  Lauren and Ally both shoot daggers at Cruise, and I hold up a hand as if calling them off. Lauren gives a slight nod, and Ally socks Cruise in the arm before my two best friends amble down to where Molly and Kurt are mingling with the masses.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” His forehead wrinkles and his eyes hold a world of pain, as though he’s genuinely hurt.

  “Because I was too ashamed.” There. It feels as if a lead coat has just slipped from my body.

  “I’m proud of you.” A smile slides up his ch
eek as he picks up the book and reads over the description. “Penny Whoredon and Cruz Belton.” His chin dips a notch and he gives me that lewd grin I miss so damn much. “You didn’t even bother to hide our names.”

  “My name’s not Penny.” I bite down over my lip.

  “My name is Cruise—though you got creative with the spelling.” He comes in and wraps his arms around my waist, and I melt into him with both body and soul. His warm cologne greets me right along with that bulge I miss so much scraping against my belly.

  “Nobody reads that stuff anyway.” I glance down and swallow hard.

  “Apparently a lot of people read that stuff.” He dots a kiss on my forehead. “And they should, because Penny and Cruz are warriors both in and out of the bedroom. I know this because we’re living it.”

  “I’m sorry I broadcasted our personal affairs.” I shrink a little in his arms.

  “Are you kidding?” His chest rumbles with a soft laugh. “I’m more than ready and willing to give you fresh material.”

  “Really?” I’m genuinely confused. “I thought you weren’t into that kind of stuff anymore.”

  “About that.” He looks past me and nods. “That’s exactly what happened.”

  I turn to find Morgan headed in our direction.

  “Having a party without me?” My sweet, yet often overprotective, brother wraps his arms around me and swings me side to side before landing a quick kiss on the top of my head. “I’m so damn proud of you, Kendall.”

  “You are?” I bite down on my lip. “You didn’t read it, did you?” God, I’ll die if he says yes. I’ll never be able to look at Morgan again.

  “Nope.” His dimples dig in. “And there’s no way in hell you’re going to get me to. Ally tells me you wield a mean pen, and I’ll take her word for it. Speaking of which, I’d better find her. I hear there’s a cupcake somewhere around here with my name on it.” Morgan dissolves into the crowd, and Cruise wraps his arms around me again.

  “So what did Morgan have to do with it?” I’m deathly curious now.