What the Heart Desires

  “Having another child won’t replace Adalyn.”

  “I’m not telling you to replace her. You’re going to be in her life whether Dylan likes it or not.”

  He wanted to argue his point, but he pushed the aggression away and focused on something else. The expression on his face changed, like he’d realized something important.

  “You said you and Dylan haven’t been together since Adalyn was born, right?” He waited until she nodded before he continued. “What if you’re already pregnant, Heaven?” His hand slipped between the edges of the towel, warming the skin beneath her navel. “We made love. Twice. I came inside you both times. You may already be carrying my child.”

  She couldn’t deny how his words made her stomach knot, but they made her heart swell just as fiercely. There was only one thing he wanted as much as her. A child. And he wanted to share that child with her.

  “Would you do it, Heaven?”

  “Do what?”

  He leaned up long enough to grab the fluffy down comforter from the end of the bed and unfold it. As he draped it over their bodies, he tucked it around her waist, and then drew her inside his arms.

  “If you found out you were pregnant with my child, would you have it?”

  He waited patiently for her to answer. The desire within her made him hard to resist. So did their connection. They were meant to be soulmates. Soulmates had families, and something inside her wanted to fulfill that purpose with him.

  “Of course I would have it. I’d never hurt you the way my sister tried. I love you more than that.”

  “Good.” His arms tightened around her as he closed his eyes and relaxed against the pillow. “Because I love you too, and I’d love our baby just as much.”

  CHAPTER 25

  The sun peeked through the trees as Dylan stared into the woods from the patio door. Faint chirping rang in the distance, the only sound filling the cottage for the first time in the last ten minutes.

  He swayed his shoulders in slow motion and gazed lower. Adalyn lay in the bend of his arm, eyes closed, bottom lip parted enough that the sweet scent of her breath teased his nose. It blended with her lavender scented lotion, the same lotion he hoped would help her relax like the bottle claimed it would.

  Maybe she would stay asleep if he laid her on his bed this time. He’d like to lay down too. Then maybe he could get more than an hour of sleep. At least she’d given him that much. Guess it was his fault that he didn’t get more. Had he not been so consumed with anger…

  A soft rap echoed from the door. He turned in time to see Hope peeping inside. When she saw Adalyn in his arms, she frowned. “Hey. Is she asleep?”

  He nodded once and refocused on his daughter. The sound of the door opening, along with Hope’s voice, hadn’t wakened her. Thank God. He didn’t know why Hope had come, but the last thing he wanted was to chat. Of course, Hope wasn’t keen on Layne and Heaven’s closeness. She said as much in the past. If anyone rallied to his side in the matter, it would be her.

  Then again, if she or anyone else discovered his mother told him about the marriage license…

  “Where’s my sister?” She closed the door softly. “Is she still asleep?”

  He shrugged. “I haven’t seen her since last night.”

  She stopped shy of the table and peeked at Adalyn, then shifted her attention back to him. “What do you mean you haven’t seen her since last night? Where is she?”

  “Probably with her lover.”

  He hated the words. Saying them proved twice as painful. How could he do this? How could he face each day knowing the woman he swore he’d love forever loved someone else? Not just that. She’d given her body to him…

  “Her lover?” Hope questioned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “You mean she doesn’t tell you everything?” He regretted the cynical words as soon as he said them. Hope didn’t deserve his anger. Her sister did. She was simply there at the wrong time. “I’m sorry, Hope. I’m not in the mood for chitchat. Last night, your sister… Heaven slept with Layne. That’s why she was able to heal him so quickly.”

  “What?” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “That makes two of us. She swears there’s more to it, but… He confessed to being in love with her yesterday. I’ve known for a while, but now I know he admitted it after having her.” He gritted his teeth.

  “Did she end things?”

  He checked on Adalyn before he moved toward the patio door. “No. I did.”

  “Excuse me?” Hope’s voice sounded soft, innocent, but her face revealed frustration. “You ended things because she slept with Layne?”

  “Yeah.”

  He didn’t say anything else. He couldn’t. Reality ripped away what little logic he had. Nothing made sense. The more he tried understanding, the less he did. Judging by the look on Hope’s face, she didn’t understand either. He doubted her confusion stemmed from the same thing.

  She confirmed his suspicion a second later. “I can’t believe you did this.”

  “Beg your pardon?”

  She gripped the back of a nearby chair. “I know you’re upset and you have every right to be, but be rational, Dylan. Heaven loves you. You know that. Give yourself some time to process everything before making decisions that will affect everyone.”

  “So you’ve jumped on the Layne Perry bandwagon too? What the fuck…?”

  Adalyn whimpered when his voice rose. The sound made him tense. He had to keep calm, if for no other reason than giving his daughter peace of mind. He owed her as much.

  “It may be easy for you to judge me, Hope, but put yourself in my shoes. She’s supposed to be my soulmate. We’re supposed to be a fortunate pair. How can we be if she loves him?”

  Hope shook her head and placed her fingers to her temple. “This isn’t as black-and-white as you’re making it. You don’t understand the power of a Seeker-Keeper bond. I know your mom explained it, but you don’t get it. Layne came close to dying for her twice. They’re supposed to be close. How could she not love him?”

  “There’s more to it, Hope. They share an affinity and it…it complicates things. I’m sorry, but I can’t share her. She’s my wi—” The word caught in his throat. His shoulders slumped. “Maybe there’s a reason our marriage license wasn’t filed.”

  “Oh, there is. His name is Nate McBride.”

  “Or maybe Heaven and I weren’t meant to be together…”

  Adalyn whimpered again. The sound stung his heart. He wanted to take away her sadness as much as he wanted someone to take away his. But wanting something didn’t mean he’d get it. Or keep it. Quite the opposite. The life he wanted with Heaven was proof of that.

  “Dylan,” Hope began as she lowered her voice. “I don’t understand the affinity any more than you. I know you’re hurt and upset, but so is my sister. Do you think loving two people is easy? Heaven didn’t ask for any of this. None of us did, but it’s the life we’ve been given. We’re trying to make the best of it.”

  Though part of him agreed with what she said, the anger raging inside was too hard to ignore. “I can’t talk about this anymore.” He growled the words. “I need to put Adalyn down. We’ve been up most of the night and I’m mentally drained.”

  As he turned from the patio door, Hope blocked his path. “You do sense how upset your daughter is, right? Her aura is muddy red, and yours…” When her voiced faded, he met her eyes. They roamed over his body before meeting his. “Yours is gray.”

  She backed toward the door but offered no explanation on what it all meant. He wasn’t sure what caused her odd behavior, nor did he have time to care. Adalyn’s body was tensing again.

  “My aura is gray. Got it. Thanks for the info.”

  His sarcasm didn’t faze her. Once she reached the door, she spared him one last glance. It wasn’t the fear he noticed on her face that bothered him. It was the words she said.

  “I’m only trying to help you, Dylan. You need to b
e careful. I sense something in you that reminds me of your father. Don’t let your hate take you down his path.”

  * * *

  Dylan paced the floor between the living room and dining area. Another pass brought him to the front door, but he hesitated on turning around. The words Hope spoke just ten minutes prior still haunted him. She claimed they were out of concern, but they carried a heavy warning…

  In the wake of her departure, he thought about doing the same. Leaving. He’d come close more times than he could count. Fear kept him from walking out the door, fear of what he would do if he saw Heaven or Layne. Worse than anything, he feared finding them together.

  An ache pulsed in his heart. He inhaled deeply, but it did nothing to dispel his anger. It all seemed unreal, an illusion that some part of his mind created. If he’d actually slept, he would have sworn it was all a nightmare, but the ugly truth was undeniable. The person he loved more than anything in the world broke his heart.

  It wasn’t the first time or the first secret she kept from him. Yet the kiss had been different. A kiss was an expression of love and desire. Sharing the body and soul was more. It was the act of love itself. Heaven was in love with Layne. He couldn’t deny it anymore.

  And he couldn’t live with it either.

  A faint whimper came from Adalyn. He wished she’d remove the block between them. How could he give her what she wanted if he couldn’t sense what it was? It wasn’t hunger. He knew those cries. What she’d put him through for the last six hours was not from needing to be fed, and the more he realized what it was, the stiffer his body grew.

  He didn’t want to care, but he did, and that part of him worried about Heaven. She had to be in the house, probably with Layne. Then again, maybe she was with her mother, or Hope had found her. They were probably telling her everything would be okay. But it was lies—more lies—like how she’d never love anyone as much as him.

  She loved Layne more. If not, she wouldn’t have…

  He pulled his hand from Adalyn’s back and looked at his palm. The mark that appeared there months ago remained, though it hadn’t faded any more since last night. In a way, he wished it would. He didn’t want to be a part of this anymore. He didn’t want to be—

  Adalyn’s body stiffened again. She drew her tiny legs toward her chest and wailed so hard her chin trembled. The sound made the ache in his temple pulse harder. “Come on, sweetheart. I don’t know what to do for you.” He caressed her back, mumbling the words against the head full of curls at his lips. “You have everything bottled up, Addie. I don’t know how to help you.”

  As he patted her bottom, her next cry softened, the next even more. She tried holding up her head, though it wobbled, then it fell back to his shoulder. Another whimper left her tiny body.

  Cradling her neck, he repositioned her so that she lay in his arms. He struggled to speak, could do little more than stare at her. It killed him to see how much she resembled her mother. Caring for her alone wouldn’t be easy.

  Adalyn grimaced.

  “What is it, sweetheart? I know you’re trying to tell me something. Are you mad at me?”

  He didn’t expect her to answer, not with words. If she removed the block, he’d know everything he needed. She’d never closed off her emotions to him before, and knowing this led him to one conclusion. She was upset with him for the way he treated her mother.

  “She hurt me, Addie.” Another whimper filled the air. Her bottom lip quivered, but he stroked her cheek, doing his best to dispel her sadness. “She broke my heart. How can I get over that?”

  He didn’t want to upset her, but he had a right to be angry. Heaven didn’t just hurt him. She broke the promise she made, broke the vows they said on their wedding day. Regardless if their marriage was legal, she didn’t know at the time. So what if he knew. It didn’t change the fact she willingly cheated on him. And she did it all for her Keeper.

  If Layne had died, a Successor would have replaced him the way Mason replaced his father in Anna’s life. Layne would have died with honor, a hero. Now he was just a back-stabbing asshole.

  Maybe he shouldn’t have given him what he wanted. Maybe he should have stayed with Heaven and made Layne miserable. He could have made them both miserable. Instead, he chose to use harsh words, chose them intentionally to fight his battles, and they gave him the result he wanted. He broke her heart as well.

  Had he known he was breaking Adalyn’s along with it…

  The thought had little time to form when images played through his mind. Heaven stood under a tree, a willow tree from what he could tell. It resembled the one near the garage, the one she used to play on when she was a child.

  Rain poured from above, soaking her clothes. It appeared as if she was crying, but it was hard to tell with the way water rolled down her face. Her lips stretched, eyes pinched, chest heaved. She looked as though she was about to fall, but another figure stepped out from the shadows.

  Layne.

  His mouth moved with words Dylan couldn’t hear. Those words didn’t matter anyway. The moment he lifted Heaven into his arms, Dylan forgot everything else. He’d never seen her this upset. Not even in Aruba.

  Once the scene faded, the patio door came back into view. He gazed down at his daughter, disbelieving what he’d seen. The images weren’t part of his memory. They were part of something that happened after Heaven left the cottage, something his daughter wanted him to see. Everything inside him said as much.

  “Why would you show me this, Addie? He’s part of the problem. He’s the reason she doesn’t want us anymore.”

  There was no point in telling her any of this. Regardless of whether she understood, he couldn’t talk about it. It wouldn’t change his mind. He and Heaven didn’t belong together. If they were soulmates, he was convinced more than ever that they were the unfortunate pair. She would be better off if he disappeared from her life.

  More crying commenced from his daughter, causing him to wince. It was as if she was reading his mind—no—more like sensing his thoughts. If that were the case, he didn’t understand why she would force him to deal with this after what happened. Guess children wanted their parents together no matter what age they were.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” He fought the emotions spinning through him when she held onto his finger. “I don’t know how to handle this, Addie.”

  The words barely left his lips when more images entered his mind. Like the ones before, they weren’t from his memory. Yet unlike the others, these images were more than hurtful. They were horrifying.

  Under a cloud-ridden sky, smoke rolled toward the heavens from the chaos below. What should be blue peeking between the clouds looked more like crimson. No trees stood, no grass grew, and the remaining buildings littering the streets were broken from destruction. A few burned in the distance, but most were gone.

  Screams echoed from every direction, screams and moans of pain and agony. A bolt of lightning lit up the sky before it shot to the earth. The ground rumbled and cracked, forming deep lines within it. The vibrations made his body shift, sending him face first to the ground.

  When he unplowed his face from the dirt, the image staring back made him shudder. Heaven was lying on the ground, her body slightly contorted, like she was bending backwards. Lifeless eyes stared up at him as blood covered the ground around her.

  Acid burned his throat. It spilled into his mouth, stealing the air from his lungs, but not as much as the scene before him. Then the scenery blurred. Like the previous images, this one faded from his mind. The room came back into view, as did his daughter.

  “Why are you showing me this stuff, Addie? I can’t love her anymore. I can’t compete with…”

  He spotted his flannel hanging on a dining room chair. He vaguely remembered setting it there when he came in last night. The shirt had been of little importance when his only concern was finding Heaven and Adalyn and spending the evening with them.

  Working his fingers to the inner pocket, he gr
ipped the item he wanted to see and set it on the table. He flashed his daughter a quick glance to see if she’d fallen asleep. She hadn’t. Once he flattened the paper onto the table, he scanned the printed words. Each one made him cringe.

  “I can’t compete with this Addie. It will never matter what I feel for your mommy. It will never be enough.”

  A soft cry invaded his thoughts. He could do little more than read the words covering the aged paper. Of the many paragraphs he scanned, one passage provoked his curiosity as much as his hate.

  An affinity is more powerful than a normal soulmate bond because the Seeker and Keeper are ultimate soulmates—Twin Flames. No bond is stronger, no love greater, and no person, human or Psi, can destroy the connection between Twin Flames. What is meant to be always finds a way. (See also: The Legend of the Sun King)

  * * *

  Faint chiming reverberated outside the window, most likely the wind chimes Layne noticed when he and his mother were chatting in the kitchen. He listened to the tone, blinking the heaviness from his eyes. The room was as bright as the white down comforter. The sun’s reflection only enhanced the brightness.

  As he inhaled, the sweet, earthy scent of Heaven’s skin penetrated his nose. It was hard to smell anything else when he had his face tucked between her neck and shoulder.

  He loved the feel of her body, loved the fact he’d curled behind it all night. His arm remained at the curve of her hip. Her slow breaths had her stomach brushing against his fingertips, where his hand lay. It had been the last part of her he’d touched before he finally drifted to sleep.

  While he didn’t know what would happen from here, he would be a part of her life regardless if Dylan wanted to be. The selfish part of him wanted his friend to leave. He didn’t want her heart broken, but he wanted her to be safe. If she and Dylan split up, maybe Nate would leave her alone. The only thing left would be making her happy. He would do everything on his end to see she was.

  As perfect as the idea seemed, it wasn’t reality. If Dylan loved her as much as he suspected, there was no way in hell he’d walk away from her. Anger ruled his friend’s emotions. He’d get over it and be ready for things to go back to the way they were.