Trusting You and Other Lies

  Compared with the one we’d been on, this one was narrow. Just wide enough for a bike to wind through, but not wide enough for three to ride side by side like we would on the designated trail. It wasn’t just narrow, though—it was winding, too. It felt like as soon as I’d whipped my handlebars one direction, I was forcing them the other direction a second later.

  I was just starting to doubt my detour—I’d taken a dozen campers from the bunny hill to the black diamond of mountain bike trails—when I heard the sounds of…excitement coming from behind me.

  They were having fun. They were enjoying the ride.

  Day. Saved.

  I allowed myself a smile and a pat on the back—I’d managed to troubleshoot a problem on my own on my very first day without having to run it by Callum first. I was a natural camp counselor….

  That was when I whipped around the next bend and saw where the trail led next: pretty much straight down.

  My smile vanished in the time it took my stomach to lodge into my throat. I had too much speed and momentum to stop before I hit the start of the descent. Even if I had stopped, I would have caused a serious pileup if I came to an abrupt stop without warning the others behind me.

  My bike bounced down the trail, and I kept tapping on the brakes just enough to keep my speed from spiraling out of control without locking them up and sending me over the handlebars.

  In addition to the trail being steep and winding, it was covered with rocks jutting up from the ground. Most of them were small enough my tires could just roll right over them, but a few were large enough to cause a spill if someone didn’t maneuver around them just right.

  Once everyone had made it down safely, I was going to stop, pull Evan to the side to see just what I’d gotten myself into, and decide where to go from there. If this trail continued like this, none of us were going to make it to camp in one piece. I couldn’t imagine my little brother on this thing and not hurting himself. What was I thinking, heading down a trail I’d never been on and knew nothing about when my little brother was following behind?

  The guilt barely had time to settle in before my bike rolled onto level ground. I went just far enough so I was out of the way of the other campers flying down the trail before leaping off my bike and throwing it to the side. The trail was narrow, but I flew up it, managing to balance on the very edge while dodging the bikes speeding past. The excitement that had been on their faces two minutes ago was gone. Terror was more the look of things now.

  I was counting off each bike that passed me. They were all managing to make it down the Descent of Doom on the seat of their bike, instead of somersaulting over it. Thank God. Helmets might have protected heads, but a person would need full-body armor to walk away from a fall on this part of the trail.

  “Wait for me at the bottom of the hill,” I shouted as they whizzed by.

  Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. I counted off, one at a time, and after thirteen whipped by me, there was a break in the procession. No one else was coming. There was a bend just behind me so I wasn’t able to see up to the start of the descent, but I was just letting myself start to hope that Harry had punched his brakes before following his sister leaping off the proverbial cliff when I heard it.

  The cry.

  His cry.

  My little brother’s.

  I choked on my own cry as I barreled up the rest of the trail. I lost my footing when I got to the bend in the trail and wiped out, but it didn’t slow me down. I crawled until I was able to push myself up and had just lunged around the bend when I saw it.

  Mayhem.

  Destruction.

  My worst nightmare.

  Take your pick.

  “Harry!” I powered up the rest of the trail like I wasn’t climbing a solid 15 percent grade. “Harry!” I cried again, but if he’d heard me, he didn’t answer.

  I flew to the ground beside him. Evan had gotten to him a moment before I had, along with the guy who’d been right behind Harry. Evan started throwing the bike off Harry, while the other guy looked like he wasn’t sure what to do.

  The front wheel of Harry’s bike was bent. I tried not to even think about what kind of crash would have caused a bike wheel to bend.

  “Hey, Danger Zone, how many toes am I holding up?” Evan crashed down onto his knees beside Harry once he’d tossed the bike aside.

  Like the guy gaping down at Harry across from me, I stayed just as frozen.

  When Harry didn’t answer, Evan snapped his fingers in his face and held up three fingers again. “How many toes am I holding up, Harry?”

  Harry cleared his throat. “Three,” he whispered.

  “This is serious.” Evan managed a smile as he continued to hold his three fingers above Harry’s face. “Because these are not toes.”

  Harry creased his forehead, confused. Then he smiled. “That was a good one,” Harry said, his voice just as loopy.

  Evan shrugged. “Anything hurting?” He was keeping his cool, but I could tell he was worried. When Harry answered with a shrug, Evan asked, “Can you move your toes?” He waited for Harry’s feet to move. “Your hands?”

  When Harry started to move his hands, he grimaced. “My wrist.”

  Evan nodded. “Do you mind if I check it real quick?”

  Harry shook his head and moved his arm toward Evan.

  Evan had barely put his fingers on Harry’s wrist before Harry screeched in pain.

  “Stop! You’re hurting him,” I cried.

  He let go instantly. “The girl who just led a beginners’ group of mountain bikers down an advanced trail accusing me of hurting a camper?” Evan’s brows went high as he continued, “Can you say irony?”

  I was too upset to argue.

  “Do you think you can sit up, big guy?” Evan asked Harry, totally calm. It reminded me so much of Callum he might as well have been the one kneeling across from me. No wonder Callum put so much trust in his counselors. Too bad it didn’t apply to me.

  “Yeah. I think so.” Harry’s voice was still a whisper, but it was getting stronger. The shock must have been wearing off. Or maybe it was just setting in.

  When Harry started to rock himself up, Evan put his hand behind his back to help him the rest of the way.

  “You’ve either sprained or broken your wrist. I’m not sure which, and I don’t want to feel around anymore since it’s sore.” Evan lowered his head so it was right in line with Harry’s. “We’re going to need an X-ray to know for sure, so let’s get you back to camp.”

  Harry nodded, looking at Evan the whole time.

  “Are you okay with me carrying you to camp? There’s a shortcut I know, and it’s only about a mile.” Evan waited for Harry’s answer, but I could tell he was in a hurry to get him moving.

  Harry took a breath. “I’m okay to walk.” I was just about to object when he added, “Really. It’s just my wrist, and that way we’ll get there faster.”

  “Then how about we get going?” Evan stood up, holding his arms out when Harry did the same, just in case he went down. “There’s this cute nurse who works the day shift at the ER in town. If we hurry, I’ll introduce you.”

  “You’ve been to the ER before?” Harry asked, taking his glasses from Evan after Evan cleaned them off on his shirt. I didn’t know how they were still in one piece.

  “So many times they all know my name by now.” Evan winked and pointed at a scar on his forearm, before pulling up the sleeve of his shirt on the same arm and revealing an even longer, more jagged-looking scar. “That’s just my left arm. It would take until midnight to show you the rest, and by then the cute nurse will be clocked out for the day.”

  Harry smiled. The real kind, not the rummy, loopy, I’m-in-shock kind. “What about my bike?”

  “Leave it. I’ll come back for it later.” Evan kicked at the front wheel of Harry’s bike. “Nice job, by the way, on taco-ing your tire. Seasoned pros only get the bragging rights of taco-ing a tire once or twice in their lifetimes. You’ve got sk
ill, my man.”

  “I think it’s more a lack of skill that’s to blame for…taco-ing my tire, but thanks.” Harry cradled his injured arm against his chest as he stared at his bent bike wheel.

  “Hey, you okay here?” Evan moved up beside me and lowered his voice. “I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s definitely sprained. I need to get him back, so that means you’re responsible for the rest of the campers.” Evan nudged me. “Preferably with no more injuries or busted bike wheels. Think you can manage that?”

  He waited for me to answer, but I couldn’t give him one. How could I get fourteen people to camp safely after what had happened?

  “Listen, about a tenth of a mile past the bottom of this hill, there’s a trail that Ys off to the right. Take it. Do not—and I repeat a million and one times—do not continue on this trail. It goes from this”—Evan flashed his arms down the steep descent—“to gnarly real fast. Take the right up ahead and you’ll all be back in camp in a half hour.”

  I couldn’t imagine a trail getting even more “gnarly” than what I’d already experienced. Bottom of the hill. Tenth of a mile. Y to the right. I repeated the instructions in my head until they were stuck.

  “I’m not sure I can do it.” My voice sounded small and pathetic—the way the rest of me felt, too.

  “You don’t have to be sure. You just have to do it.” Evan unsnapped his helmet and balanced it on the end of his handlebar. He’d propped both Harry’s and his bikes up against a couple of trees just off the trail and then followed after Harry. who was already cutting through the trees. “See you at camp.”

  Harry was gone. He hadn’t said good-bye. He hadn’t even been able to look at me. Not that I could blame him. He trusted me, and I’d let him down. I should have been more careful. I should have done this, I shouldn’t have done that—but I knew I had to fix my mistake.

  I had to pull myself up by my shoelaces and get this done.

  I had to be strong. When I’d never felt weaker.

  I found the guy who was still huddled on the side of the trail. “Do you think you can grab your bike and walk it down to the bottom of the trail?”

  “Yeah, yeah. I think so.” He didn’t sound confident, and he certainly didn’t look confident.

  “Would you rather walk? I’ll get your bike down.” I climbed the trail until I’d reached the guy’s bike spread across the edge of the trail. “After you,” I said.

  “I knew he was going to crash. I watched him….” The guy shook his head, his eyes wide. “It’s the worst feeling, watching a kid fall like that and not being able to help him.”

  I made myself look away from where Harry had crashed. “Let’s go check on everyone else. They’re probably wondering about us.” I started walking down the hill with his bike, and he finally started moving. The trail was steep, so we took each step slowly.

  “Are you okay?” he asked me.

  I thought about Harry. I thought about my parents. I thought about my life. “No,” I said, answering that question truthfully for the first time in months.

  Fourteen campers rolled into camp fifty-two minutes later. Fifteen had left for the ride. Fourteen out of fifteen might not have been bad odds in some situations—like, say, a pop quiz or maybe a winning streak—but it was unacceptable when it came to people’s lives and what should have been an easy, breezy bike ride.

  The camp was pretty quiet when we returned, matching the mood of the whole bike ride. Everyone knew what had happened to Harry and was worried, and even though I tried playing it off like he was going to be just fine and in good hands, I’d been experiencing an internal freak-out. It was all I could do not to throw my bike to the ground the second we hit Camp Kismet and leap into the first moving vehicle I came across heading into Flagstaff.

  As it turned out, I didn’t have to wait long before an old truck rolled up next to the bike shed just as I was locking the last one up. It was the same truck we’d used to haul the rafts to the river, and for a moment, my heart stopped. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to Callum yet. I didn’t know how I was going to explain myself, if I was even going to try.

  That was when I noticed who the driver was.

  “I was just heading to the hospital to check on Harry. Want to catch a lift with me?” Ben had already leaned across the seat and thrown open the passenger door.

  I finished locking the shed and leaped into the truck, hoping Ben was a fast driver. “Thanks,” I muttered.

  “No problem. Your mom left with Harry, and I waited to leave until you got back, figuring you’d want to go check on him yourself.” Ben glanced in his rearview and both side-view mirrors before going. Forward. So much for hoping he was a fast driver. I’d be lucky if Mr. Safety-Conscious maintained a steady five below the speed limit.

  “My dad went with them, right?” I asked as the truck crawled through the camp.

  “Your dad left earlier today, so he wasn’t here. I guess he had to get back to California to take care of something.” Ben shrugged.

  “I didn’t know anything about him going back home.”

  “It must have been urgent,” Ben suggested.

  My teeth ground together as I focused on taking slow breaths. I knew I shouldn’t have been surprised Dad had up and bailed on us with the excuse of “something urgent” needing to be taken care of, and maybe I wasn’t really all that surprised…but I was pissed. It had been his idea to come here; he’d been MIA pretty much the entire time and fled the scene without any warning on the very day his son could have used the presence and support of his dad.

  Figured.

  “Harry…,” I started, swallowing the ball that had formed when I’d said his name. “Did he seem…okay?”

  “He seemed good. Harry’s a tough little guy.” Ben smiled at the road as we crept along. “I had Evan drive them to the ER since your mom was in something of a panicked state.”

  I rolled down the window and leaned my head against the door so I could breathe in the fresh air. “Are you going to fire me?” I shifted on the seat. “It’s okay if you do. I understand. I didn’t do my job of taking care of the campers.”

  “No. I’m not.” Ben tapped the brakes when a chipmunk scampered across the road a hundred feet in front of us. “You’re human, so you make mistakes every once in a while. Comes with the territory.”

  My eyebrows came together. I wasn’t sure what the point of his speech was, but it sounded like I wasn’t getting the ax. Yet.

  “But…,” I started, wondering just how much of the story he’d gotten from Evan and Harry.

  “Callum’s made plenty of his own mistakes, too. Evan too. And you can add my name to that list.” Ben waved his hand. “That’s the way we become better. Whether that’s becoming better as a camp counselor or a big sister or a person in general, making mistakes along the way is inevitable. It’s the painful part of the growing process.”

  I wondered how many mistakes a person was allowed to make before the growing-pain excuse expired.

  “Mind telling that to Callum? Because I’m pretty sure I’m going to get a serious lecture when he sees me.” I bit the corner of my lip. “Not that I don’t deserve it…”

  “Callum already knows that, but I think he sees something special in you. That’s why he holds the bar a bit higher.”

  My head turned toward Ben. “Something special?”

  “The way you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. How you take care of Harry. He expects more from you because you’re capable of more.”

  I slumped lower in the seat. “I’m not convinced.”

  When Ben came to a stop sign, he checked both ways, three times, before turning onto the road leading into Flagstaff. “That’s usually the way it goes. We convince everyone else first, but we’re usually the last to realize just what we’re capable of. Human nature.”

  I didn’t have anything to say after that, and since we were almost to Flagstaff, I was starting to get antsy. I couldn’t wait to see Harr
y….At the same time, I was terrified to see him.

  “Hey, you know who else that mistake policy applies to?” Ben said when we were stopped at a red light.

  I was bouncing in my seat, able to see the hospital up ahead. “Besides everyone?”

  “Dads. And moms.” He must have not noticed my eye roll, because he kept going. “They make just as many mistakes as you and me because they think they’re doing the right thing.”

  I bit my tongue to keep from replying. Ben obviously thought one way, and I thought the other.

  When he pulled up to the emergency room entrance, I mumbled a quick thanks before flying through the door.

  “Meet you inside,” he called after me, but I was already rushing in.

  “Harry Ainsworth?” I said, sliding to a stop at the reception desk. The woman just pointed her finger, and I started sprinting in the direction she’d indicated.

  I could hear the familiar sound from a few doors down. Harry was laughing—I could have cried with relief. If he was laughing, he wasn’t in pain. He was going to be okay. Laughter meant okay, right?

  And then I heard the other voice coming from the room. I recognized that one, too.

  I didn’t think before bursting into the room. Two surprised faces turned my way. One was smiling. One was not.

  I froze in place.

  “I’ll give you and your sister some privacy, Harry.” Callum stood up from the chair he’d been in and lifted his hand above Harry’s good arm.

  Harry high-fived him so hard the slap echoed through the room.

  Callum shook his hand like it was stinging. “Easy there, Hulk. One sprained wrist is enough for one day.”

  “See ya, Callum!” Harry called after him as he headed for the door. Marched might have been the more fitting word for it, though.

  “No more acrobatics on a mountain bike, okay?” Callum wouldn’t look at me as he passed. It was like I’d become invisible or something.

  Harry laughed again, waving good-bye.

  Callum waved back and left the room, closing the door behind him. He hadn’t acknowledged me with even one look.