Obryv. English

  CHAPTER XXVIII

  In Tatiana Markovna's house, servants, cooks and coachmen were allastir, and at a very early hour in the morning were already drunk. Themistress of the house herself was unusually silent and sad when she letMarfinka go with her future mother-in-law. She had no instructions oradvice to give, and hardly listened to Marfinka's questions about whatshe ought to take with her. "What you like," she said absently, and gaveorders to Vassilissa and the maid who was going with Marfinka toKolchino to put everything in order and pack up what was necessary. Shehanded over her dear child to Marfa Egorovna's charge, at the same timepointing out to Marfinka's fiance that he must take the greatest care ofher, and that in order not to give strangers a wrong impression, he mustbe more dignified and must not chase about the garden and the woods withher as he did in Malinovka.

  When she saw that Vikentev coloured at this advice, which indicateddoubt of his tactfulness, and that Marfa Egorovna bit her underlip,Tatiana Markovna changed her tone; she laid her hand on his shouldercalling him "Dear Nikolinka," and telling him that she knew herself howunnecessary her words were, but that old women liked to preach. Then shesighed, and said not another word to her guests before their departure.

  Vera too came to breakfast; she looked pale, and it was clear that shehad had a sleepless night. She said she still had a headache, but feltbetter than she did yesterday. There was no change in Tatiana Markovna'saffectionate manner to her. Now and then Marfa Egorovna cast questioningglances in Vera's direction. What was the meaning of pain without anydefinite illness? Why did she not appear yesterday until after dinner,and then only for a moment, to go out followed by Tushin. What had theyfound to say to one another for an hour in the twilight? Being asensible woman she did not pursue these inquiries, though they flashedfor a moment in her eyes; nevertheless Vera saw them, although they werequickly exchanged for looks of sympathy. Neither did Marfa Egorovna'squestioning glances escape Tatiana Markovna, who kept her eyes on theground, while Vera maintained her indifferent manner. Already people arewondering what had happened, thought Tatiana Markovna sadly; on my armsshe came into the world, she is my child and yet I do not know what hertrouble is.

  Raisky had been out for a walk before breakfast, and wore on his face alook as if he had just come to a decision on a momentous question. Helooked at Vera as calmly as at the others, and did not avoid TatianaMarkovna's eyes. He promised Vikentev to come over to see him in a dayor two, and listened attentively to his guest's conversation abouthunting and fishing.

  At last everything was ready for their departure. Tatiana Markovna andRaisky went with their guests as far as the Volga, leaving Vera at home.

  Vera's world had always been a small one, and its boundaries were nowdrawn more narrowly than ever. She had been contented during the longyears with the observation and experience which were accessible to herin her immediate environment. Her small circle represented to her thecrowd; she made her own in a short time what it took others many yearsin many places to learn. Unlike Marfinka she was cautious in hersympathies, granting her friendship only to the priest's wife and toTushin, whom she openly called her friend. The simple things and thesimple people who surrounded her did not serve only trivial purposes.She understood how to embroider on this ordinary canvas the bold patternof a richer life with other needs, thoughts and feelings; she guessed atthese by reading between the lines of everyday life other lines whichexpressed the desires of her mind and heart. If she was cautious in hersympathies she was excessively so in the sphere of thought and knowledge.She read books from the library in the old house, taking from theshelves at first without choice or system as a pastime whatever cameinto her hands; then she began to experience curiosity, and finally adefinite desire for knowledge. She was keen-sighted enough to understandhow aimless and unfruitful it was to wander among these other mindswithout any guiding thread. Without making direct inquiries she procuredsome explanations from Koslov, and although she understood many thingsat a bound, she never let it be seen that she had any knowledge ofthings beyond her immediate circle. Without losing sight of Koslov'sinstructions she read the books once more, to find that they meant muchmore to her and that her interest in them was steadily increasing. Atthe request of the young priest, Natasha's husband, she brought himbooks too, and listened when he expressed his views on this or thatauthor, without herself adopting the seminarist view.

  Later on she came into contact with Mark, who brought a new light tobear on all that she had read and heard and known; his attitude was oneof blank denial. No authority in heaven or earth weighed with him, hedespised science as it had hitherto developed, and made no distinctionbetween virtue and crime. If he thought that he would soon be able totriumph over Vera's convictions he was mistaken. She regarded these boldand often alluring ideas with shy admiration, without giving herself upblindly to their influence; she listened cautiously to the preaching ofthe apostle, but found in it neither a new life, nor happiness, nortruth, and, though she followed attentively what he had to say, it wasonly because she was drawn on by the ardent desire to find the realitythat lay behind Mark's extraordinary and audacious personality. Markdisplayed his unsparing negation, enmity and scorn against all that menbelieve, love and hope for; Vera did not agree with all she heard,because she observed the malady that lay concealed behind the teaching,even if she could not discover where it lay. Her Columbus could show hernothing but a row of open graves standing ready to receive all that bywhich society had hitherto existed. Vera remembered the story ofPharaoh's lean kine, which without themselves becoming fatter devouredthe fat kine.

  Mark would have despoiled mankind of his crown in the name of wisdom; hewould acknowledge in him nothing but an animal organism. And while hedenied man in man, denied him the possession of a soul and the right toimmortality, he yet spoke of his strivings to introduce a better orderof things, neglecting to observe that in accordance with his own theoryof the chance arrangement of existence, by which men herd together likeflies in the hot weather; such efforts were useless.

  Granting the correctness of his ideas as a premiss, thought Vera, therecan be no sense in striving to be better, kinder, truer and purer, ifthis life enduring only for a few decades is the end of all things. Whenshe looked deeper into the matter and examined the new truth taught bythe young apostle, the new conception of good and the new revelation,she saw with astonishment that what in his talk was good andincontrovertible was not new, that it was derived from sources fromwhich others also drew, who certainly did not belong to the new society;she recognised that the seed of the new civilisation which he preachedwith so much boastfulness and such a parade of mystery lay in theold-fashioned doctrine, and for this reason she believed more firmly thanever in the older philosophy of life. She looked on Mark's personalitywith such suspicion that she gradually withdrew herself from hisinfluence. Hideously disturbed by his audacity of thought, she had evengone so far as to tell Tatiana Markovna of this accidental acquaintance,with the result that the old lady told the servants to keep a watch onthe garden, but Volokov came from the direction of the precipice, fromwhich the watchmen were effectually kept away by their superstitiousfears. Mark himself had noted Vera's distrust, and he set himself toovercome it.

  He was the more easily able to accomplish this because, when herinterest was once awakened, she met him halfway, imperceptibly toherself. She meditated carefully on the facts that made up her life; hermind was occupied by new questionings, and for that reason she listenedmore attentively to his words when she met him in the fields. Often theywent out walking on the banks of the Volga, and eventually found ameeting-place in the arbour at the bottom of the precipice. GraduallyVera adopted a more active role in their intercourse. She wanted toconvert him, to lead him back to the acceptance of proved truth, thetruth of love, of human as opposed to animal happiness, of faith andhope. Mark gave way in some things, though only gradually; his mannersbecame less eccentric, he was less provocative in his behaviour to thepolice than before, he lived in a more orde
rly fashion, and ceased tostud his conversation with cynical remarks.

  The change pleased Vera, and this was the cause of the happy excitementthat Tatiana Markovna and Raisky had remarked in her. Since herinfluence was effective even if only in what affected his external life,she hoped by incessant effort and sacrifice gradually to produce amiracle; her reward was to be the happiness of being loved by the man ofher heart's choice. She flattered herself that she would be introducinga new strong man into society. If he were to show himself in wisdom andstrength of will, simply and reliable, as Tushin was, her life wasmapped out for her. While she was engaged in these efforts she allowedher passionate nature to be carried away by his personality; she fell inlove, not with his doctrine, which she refused to accept, but withhimself. He called to new activity, but she saw in his appeal nothingmore than the lending of forbidden books. She agreed with him that workwas necessary, and herself avoided idleness; she drew up for herself apicture of simple genuine activity for the future, and envied Marfinkabecause she understood how to make herself useful in the house and thevillage. She intended to share these labours with her sister when oncethe stiff battle with Mark had been brought to a conclusion; but thestruggle was not to end with a victory for either one or the other, butwith mutual overthrow and a permanent separation.

  These were the thoughts that passed through Vera's mind while TatianaMarkovna and Raisky were accompanying their guests and Marfinka as faras the Volga. What was the Wolf doing now? was he enjoying his triumph?She took from her letter case a sealed letter on blue paper which shehad received early that morning and looked at it thoughtfully for aminute before she threw it down with its seals unbroken on the table.All her troubles were submerged in the painful question, what wouldbecome of her Grandmother. Raisky had already whispered to Vera that hewould speak to Tatiana Markovna that evening if she were alone, and thathe would take care that none of the servants should have the opportunityof seeing the impression which the news was bound to make on her. Verashivered with foreboding when he spoke of these precautions; she wouldhave liked to have died before evening came. After her talk of pastevents with Raisky and Tushin she recovered something of her usualcalmness; a part of her burden was gone now that, like a sailor in astorm, she had lightened the ship of some of its ballast, but she feltthat the heaviest load of all still lay on her conscience. It isimpossible to go on living like this, she told herself, as she made herway to the chapel. There, on her knees, she looked anxiously up at theholy picture as if she expected a sign, but the sign she longed for wasnot granted, and she passed out of the chapel in despair as one who layunder the ban of God.