Joseph Andrews, Vol. 1

  CHAPTER VIII.

  _A notable dissertation by Mr Abraham Adams; wherein that gentlemanappears in a political light._

  "I do assure you, sir" (says he, taking the gentleman by the hand), "Iam heartily glad to meet with a man of your kidney; for, though I am apoor parson, I will be bold to say I am an honest man, and would not doan ill thing to be made a bishop; nay, though it hath not fallen in myway to offer so noble a sacrifice, I have not been without opportunitiesof suffering for the sake of my conscience, I thank Heaven for them; forI have had relations, though I say it, who made some figure in theworld; particularly a nephew, who was a shopkeeper and an alderman of acorporation. He was a good lad, and was under my care when a boy; and Ibelieve would do what I bade him to his dying day. Indeed, it looks likeextreme vanity in me to affect being a man of such consequence as tohave so great an interest in an alderman; but others have thought sotoo, as manifestly appeared by the rector, whose curate I formerly was,sending for me on the approach of an election, and telling me, if Iexpected to continue in his cure, that I must bring my nephew to votefor one Colonel Courtly, a gentleman whom I had never heard tidings oftill that instant. I told the rector I had no power over my nephew'svote (God forgive me for such prevarication!); that I supposed he wouldgive it according to his conscience; that I would by no means endeavourto influence him to give it otherwise. He told me it was in vain toequivocate; that he knew I had already spoke to him in favour of esquireFickle, my neighbour; and, indeed, it was true I had; for it was at aseason when the church was in danger, and when all good men expectedthey knew not what would happen to us all. I then answered boldly, if hethought I had given my promise, he affronted me in proposing any breachof it. Not to be too prolix; I persevered, and so did my nephew, in theesquire's interest, who was chose chiefly through his means; and so Ilost my curacy, Well, sir, but do you think the esquire ever mentioned aword of the church? _Ne verbum quidem, ut ita dicam_: within two yearshe got a place, and hath ever since lived in London; where I have beeninformed (but God forbid I should believe that,) that he never so muchas goeth to church. I remained, sir, a considerable time without anycure, and lived a full month on one funeral sermon, which I preached onthe indisposition of a clergyman; but this by the bye. At last, when MrFickle got his place, Colonel Courtly stood again; and who should makeinterest for him but Mr Fickle himself! that very identical Mr Fickle,who had formerly told me the colonel was an enemy to both the church andstate, had the confidence to sollicit my nephew for him; and the colonelhimself offered me to make me chaplain to his regiment, which I refusedin favour of Sir Oliver Hearty, who told us he would sacrificeeverything to his country; and I believe he would, except his hunting,which he stuck so close to, that in five years together he went buttwice up to parliament; and one of those times, I have been told, neverwas within sight of the House. However, he was a worthy man, and thebest friend I ever had; for, by his interest with a bishop, he got mereplaced into my curacy, and gave me eight pounds out of his own pocketto buy me a gown and cassock, and furnish my house. He had our interestwhile he lived, which was not many years. On his death I had freshapplications made to me; for all the world knew the interest I had withmy good nephew, who now was a leading man in the corporation; and SirThomas Booby, buying the estate which had been Sir Oliver's, proposedhimself a candidate. He was then a young gentleman just come from histravels; and it did me good to hear him discourse on affairs which, formy part, I knew nothing of. If I had been master of a thousand votes heshould have had them all. I engaged my nephew in his interest, and hewas elected; and a very fine parliament-man he was. They tell me he madespeeches of an hour long, and, I have been told, very fine ones; but hecould never persuade the parliament to be of his opinion. _Non omniapossumus omnes_. He promised me a living, poor man! and I believe Ishould have had it, but an accident happened, which was, that my ladyhad promised it before, unknown to him. This, indeed, I never heard tillafterwards; for my nephew, who died about a month before the incumbent,always told me I might be assured of it. Since that time, Sir Thomas,poor man, had always so much business, that he never could find leisureto see me. I believe it was partly my lady's fault too, who did notthink my dress good enough for the gentry at her table. However, I mustdo him the justice to say he never was ungrateful; and I have alwaysfound his kitchen, and his cellar too, open to me: many a time, afterservice on a Sunday--for I preach at four churches--have I recruited myspirits with a glass of his ale. Since my nephew's death, thecorporation is in other hands; and I am not a man of that consequence Iwas formerly. I have now no longer any talents to lay out in the serviceof my country; and to whom nothing is given, of him can nothing berequired. However, on all proper seasons, such as the approach of anelection, I throw a suitable dash or two into my sermons; which I havethe pleasure to hear is not disagreeable to Sir Thomas and the otherhonest gentlemen my neighbours, who have all promised me these fiveyears to procure an ordination for a son of mine, who is now nearthirty, hath an infinite stock of learning, and is, I thank Heaven, ofan unexceptionable life; though, as he was never at an university, thebishop refuses to ordain him. Too much care cannot indeed be taken inadmitting any to the sacred office; though I hope he will never act soas to be a disgrace to any order, but will serve his God and his countryto the utmost of his power, as I have endeavoured to do before him; nay,and will lay down his life whenever called to that purpose. I am sure Ihave educated him in those principles; so that I have acquitted my duty,and shall have nothing to answer for on that account. But I do notdistrust him, for he is a good boy; and if Providence should throw it inhis way to be of as much consequence in a public light as his fatheronce was, I can answer for him he will use his talents as honestly as Ihave done."