Joseph Andrews, Vol. 1

  CHAPTER IX.

  _In which the gentleman discants on bravery and heroic virtue, till anunlucky accident puts an end to the discourse._

  The gentleman highly commended Mr Adams for his good resolutions, andtold him, "He hoped his son would tread in his steps;" adding, "that ifhe would not die for his country, he would not be worthy to live in it.I'd make no more of shooting a man that would not die for hiscountry, than--

  "Sir," said he, "I have disinherited a nephew, who is in the army,because he would not exchange his commission and go to the West Indies.I believe the rascal is a coward, though he pretends to be in loveforsooth. I would have all such fellows hanged, sir; I would have themhanged." Adams answered, "That would be too severe; that men did notmake themselves; and if fear had too much ascendance in the mind, theman was rather to be pitied than abhorred; that reason and time mightteach him to subdue it." He said, "A man might be a coward at one time,and brave at another. Homer," says he, "who so well understood andcopied Nature, hath taught us this lesson; for Paris fights and Hectorruns away. Nay, we have a mighty instance of this in the history oflater ages, no longer ago than the 705th year of Rome, when the greatPompey, who had won so many battles and been honoured with so manytriumphs, and of whose valour several authors, especially Cicero andPaterculus, have formed such elogiums; this very Pompey left the battleof Pharsalia before he had lost it, and retreated to his tent, where hesat like the most pusillanimous rascal in a fit of despair, and yieldeda victory, which was to determine the empire of the world, to Caesar. Iam not much travelled in the history of modern times, that is to say,these last thousand years; but those who are can, I make no question,furnish you with parallel instances." He concluded, therefore, that, hadhe taken any such hasty resolutions against his nephew, he hoped hewould consider better, and retract them. The gentleman answered withgreat warmth, and talked much of courage and his country, till,perceiving it grew late, he asked Adams, "What place he intended forthat night?" He told him, "He waited there for the stage-coach."--"Thestage-coach, sir!" said the gentleman; "they are all passed by long ago.You may see the last yourself almost three miles before us."--"I protestand so they are," cries Adams; "then I must make haste and follow them."The gentleman told him, "he would hardly be able to overtake them; andthat, if he did not know his way, he would be in danger of losinghimself on the downs, for it would be presently dark; and he mightramble about all night, and perhaps find himself farther from hisjourney's end in the morning than he was now." He advised him,therefore, "to accompany him to his house, which was very little out ofhis way," assuring him "that he would find some country fellow in hisparish who would conduct him for sixpence to the city where he wasgoing." Adams accepted this proposal, and on they travelled, thegentleman renewing his discourse on courage, and the infamy of not beingready, at all times, to sacrifice our lives to our country. Nightovertook them much about the same time as they arrived near some bushes;whence, on a sudden, they heard the most violent shrieks imaginable in afemale voice. Adams offered to snatch the gun out of his companion'shand. "What are you doing?" said he. "Doing!" said Adams; "I amhastening to the assistance of the poor creature whom some villains aremurdering." "You are not mad enough, I hope," says the gentleman,trembling: "do you consider this gun is only charged with shot, and thatthe robbers are most probably furnished with pistols loaded withbullets? This is no business of ours; let us make as much haste aspossible out of the way, or we may fall into their hands ourselves." Theshrieks now increasing, Adams made no answer, but snapt his fingers,and, brandishing his crabstick, made directly to the place whence thevoice issued; and the man of courage made as much expedition towards hisown home, whither he escaped in a very short time without once lookingbehind him; where we will leave him, to contemplate his own bravery, andto censure the want of it in others, and return to the good Adams, who,on coming up to the place whence the noise proceeded, found a womanstruggling with a man, who had thrown her on the ground, and had almostoverpowered her. The great abilities of Mr Adams were not necessary tohave formed a right judgment of this affair on the first sight. He didnot, therefore, want the entreaties of the poor wretch to assist her;but, lifting up his crabstick, he immediately levelled a blow at thatpart of the ravisher's head where, according to the opinion of theancients, the brains of some persons are deposited, and which he hadundoubtedly let forth, had not Nature (who, as wise men have observed,equips all creatures with what is most expedient for them) taken aprovident care (as she always doth with those she intends forencounters) to make this part of the head three times as thick as thoseof ordinary men who are designed to exercise talents which are vulgarlycalled rational, and for whom, as brains are necessary, she is obligedto leave some room for them in the cavity of the skull; whereas, thoseingredients being entirely useless to persons of the heroic calling, shehath an opportunity of thickening the bone, so as to make it lesssubject to any impression, or liable to be cracked or broken: andindeed, in some who are predestined to the command of armies andempires, she is supposed sometimes to make that part perfectly solid.

  As a game cock, when engaged in amorous toying with a hen, if perchancehe espies another cock at hand, immediately quits his female, andopposes himself to his rival, so did the ravisher, on the information ofthe crabstick, immediately leap from the woman and hasten to assail theman. He had no weapons but what Nature had furnished him with. However,he clenched his fist, and presently darted it at that part of Adams'sbreast where the heart is lodged. Adams staggered at the violence of theblow, when, throwing away his staff, he likewise clenched that fistwhich we have before commemorated, and would have discharged it full inthe breast of his antagonist, had he not dexterously caught it with hisleft hand, at the same time darting his head (which some modern heroesof the lower class use, like the battering-ram of the ancients, for aweapon of offence; another reason to admire the cunningness of Nature,in composing it of those impenetrable materials); dashing his head, Isay, into the stomach of Adams, he tumbled him on his back; and, nothaving any regard to the laws of heroism, which would have restrainedhim from any farther attack on his enemy till he was again on his legs,he threw himself upon him, and, laying hold on the ground with his lefthand, he with his right belaboured the body of Adams till he was weary,and indeed till he concluded (to use the language of fighting) "that hehad done his business;" or, in the language of poetry, "that he had senthim to the shades below;" in plain English, "that he was dead."

  But Adams, who was no chicken, and could bear a drubbing as well as anyboxing champion in the universe, lay still only to watch hisopportunity; and now, perceiving his antagonist to pant with hislabours, he exerted his utmost force at once, and with such success thathe overturned him, and became his superior; when, fixing one of hisknees in his breast, he cried out in an exulting voice, "It is my turnnow;" and, after a few minutes' constant application, he gave him sodexterous a blow just under his chin that the fellow no longer retainedany motion, and Adams began to fear he had struck him once too often;for he often asserted "he should be concerned to have the blood of eventhe wicked upon him."

  Adams got up and called aloud to the young woman. "Be of good cheer,damsel," said he, "you are no longer in danger of your ravisher, who, Iam terribly afraid, lies dead at my feet; but God forgive me what I havedone in defence of innocence!" The poor wretch, who had been some timein recovering strength enough to rise, and had afterwards, during theengagement, stood trembling, being disabled by fear even from runningaway, hearing her champion was victorious, came up to him, but notwithout apprehensions even of her deliverer; which, however, she wassoon relieved from by his courteous behaviour and gentle words. Theywere both standing by the body, which lay motionless on the ground, andwhich Adams wished to see stir much more than the woman did, when heearnestly begged her to tell him "by what misfortune she came, at such atime of night, into so lonely a place." She acquainted him, "She wastravelling towards London, and had accidentally met with the person fromwhom he had delivered her,
who told her he was likewise on his journeyto the same place, and would keep her company; an offer which,suspecting no harm, she had accepted; that he told her they were at asmall distance from an inn where she might take up her lodging thatevening, and he would show her a nearer way to it than by following theroad; that if she had suspected him (which she did not, he spoke sokindly to her), being alone on these downs in the dark, she had no humanmeans to avoid him; that, therefore, she put her whole trust inProvidence, and walked on, expecting every moment to arrive at the inn;when on a sudden, being come to those bushes, he desired her to stop,and after some rude kisses, which she resisted, and some entreaties,which she rejected, he laid violent hands on her, and was attempting toexecute his wicked will, when, she thanked G--, he timely came up andprevented him." Adams encouraged her for saying she had put her wholetrust in Providence, and told her, "He doubted not but Providence hadsent him to her deliverance, as a reward for that trust. He wishedindeed he had not deprived the wicked wretch of life, but G--'s will bedone;" said, "He hoped the goodness of his intention would excuse him inthe next world, and he trusted in her evidence to acquit him in this."He was then silent, and began to consider with himself whether it wouldbe properer to make his escape, or to deliver himself into the hands ofjustice; which meditation ended as the reader will see in thenext chapter.