Esrever Doom

  He ran back to her. Again he pondered the chains. Could the sword sever them? It was magic, but he feared not impervious. He needed a better way.

  “Try the reverse wood,” Zosi said.

  Genius! He conjured a chip and touched it to a manacle. The thing sprang open, freeing her hand. He tried the other, and it too opened. Then he got down and touched an ankle manacle, but nothing happened.

  You’ve used up the power of one chip. Conjure a new one!

  Good idea. He threw away the chip and conjured a new one. This one worked, and soon both Zosi’s legs were free.

  The dragon!

  He looked. The next dragon was coming up the hill. It looked just as big and dangerous as the first. He looked at the route he had taken to get here, but there was now no path here, just impenetrable forest. Was there no escape?

  Then a shape flew down from above. It was Zap! “Take her away!” Kody called.

  “Not without you!” Zosi protested.

  “Zap can’t carry both of us.”

  “Then you go. You must complete your Quest.”

  “The hell!”

  “Squawk!”

  You’re right, Zap. The main path may be defensible. The dragons can come only one at a time.

  “But I have only the one sword,” Kody protested. “And I’m tired. Better that Zosi goes.”

  “No,” Zosi said. “I’ll stay and fight with you. With sandwich bombs.”

  Zap was already going to the narrow portion of the trail to challenge the first dragon. This was a smoker, which would require a different defense. Kody and Zosi hurried to join the griffin.

  “You don’t have to fight for us, if it violates your principles,” Kody told Zap. “You’ve done enough already, carrying me to the hill, and being ready to carry one of us to safety.”

  “Squawk.”

  The essence, succinctly expressed, was that the griffin now understood that fighting for a good cause, such as protecting her friends, did not violate her conscience. She was not going to let Zosi or Kody get eaten.

  The smoker came up the path, encountered Zap, and paused. It blew out a puff of smoke in the form of a question mark.

  One of the ghosts is a dragon, Naomi thought. He says that’s a question: “Why is a griffin interfering in dragon business?”

  “Squawk!”

  Zap responds that these are her friends.

  The dragon puffed again. “Well, they are both tasty morsels, the rightful prey of dragons. So get out of the way if you don’t want to get smoked.”

  “Squawk!”

  The dragon responds, “I’m a land dragon. I am not part of the winged monster protocol. I don’t have to honor your stupid preferences. Now clear out, birdbrain, before I get annoyed.”

  “Squawk!”

  “Yes, I know griffins can fight. But not as well as dragons. You are overmatched, featherhead, even if you lack the wit to know it.”

  Zap reared up on her hind feet, claws extended, beak to the dexter side, rampant. It was a fighting stance. She was not as large as the dragon, but this was impressive.

  The dragon puffed out one more ball of smoke.

  “Oh, yeah? Then taste this!”

  The dragon inhaled. But Zap didn’t wait on the exhalation. She lurched forward, batting at the dragon’s snout with both forepaws while pecking at its left eye with her beak. She was surprisingly fast. It was evident that what she lacked in size she made up for in speed.

  The dragon jerked back, barely saving its eye, while smoke barreled out of its mouth, surrounding them both.

  Kody wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to help Zap, but couldn’t see either her or the dragon. He did not dare chop into that smoke with his sword, lest he strike his friend. Neither could he risk a reverse wood chip. So he just had to stand back and wait for the smoke to clear.

  It slowly dissipated. The dragon had drawn back, surprised by the attack. But now it was angry. It charged forward, jaws gaping.

  Kody flipped a chip into that open orifice.

  Suddenly the wide-open mouth was a tightly closed mouth, its position reversed. The chip remained inside; the dragon couldn’t open to spit it out. Nor could it blast out much smoke. It seemed that it did not use its nostrils to release smoke, just its mouth. Neither could it bite. It had been deprived of its main weapons.

  Zap took a menacing step forward. “Squawk!”

  Oh, what a nasty term!

  The dragon, thoroughly nullified, turned around and ran away.

  But another dragon was already coming to the fore, and Kody saw others behind it. It seemed that the news of the chained sacrificial maiden had spread, attracting predators from all around. First come, first served.

  A bulb flashed over Kody’s head. The maiden!

  But before he could act on his inspiration, the next dragon was upon them. This was a different species, squat and low, not emitting fire, smoke, or steam. That made it dangerous because they did not know what to expect.

  Zosi conjured a huge sandwich that reeked of gasoline. She heaved it at the dragon. The dragon chomped it without thinking, and it detonated. The blast sent peanut butter and pieces of dragon flying in three and a half directions.

  That made the next dragon pause, assessing the situation. It was becoming evident that there was no easy prey here.

  Now Kody raised his voice. “Dragons!” he yelled. “Hear me! Your attack is pointless. There’s no helpless maiden chained for sacrifice! She escaped! Look at the post! It’s empty!”

  Several heads turned to gaze at the empty post. The main attraction was gone. They did not make the connection to the sandwich woman. Then the dragons turned about and walked away. It had been that simple. After they had had to fight three of them, and kill two.

  They really are departing. You will be able to use that path once they clear it.

  Now Kody took hold of Zosi. He enfolded her, his emotion overflowing. “I couldn’t let you go!”

  And now she collapsed into tears. “I thought I was doomed!”

  “NoAmi set that trap for me. You took it instead.”

  “I had to. You have to complete your Quest.”

  “And you don’t have to complete yours?”

  “I should, but that means staying alive. That’s funny, isn’t it? I was afraid of getting killed, but I don’t want to live anyway. Not without you.”

  “Zosi, if I could stay here and be with you, I would.” He noticed irreverently that her appearance had largely reverted to natural; the jeans were losing their effect, and her hair had turned gray as before. “But I know my dream will end when my Quest is complete. Short of deserting my Quest—”

  “No! You must complete it!”

  “And so our love is doomed.”

  “Forever doomed,” she agreed faintly.

  “Esrever doom,” he said. “I thought that was just an ordinary phrase spelled backwards. But it seems to be literal.”

  “Squawk.”

  “She’s right,” Zosi said. “We have to return to the others.”

  We ghosts have reassured them about your safety, Naomi thought. They were concerned.

  “Tell them we’re on our way,” Kody said.

  “Or will be soon,” Zosi said.

  He looked at her questioningly.

  “Zap will guard us from chance predators,” she said. Then she kissed him so ardently that he could no longer miss her meaning. He had rescued her, she was grateful, but it was more than that. She wanted all of him she could get, right now, because they both knew there was no reasonable prospect of a future together.

  “Soon,” he agreed. They were out in the open, but it didn’t concern them. Love was all that mattered at the moment.

  Bleep! I’m so jealous!

  “Then this one is in honor of you,” Kody said. “For enabling me to rescue her.”

  Actually, that recognition does help. I did not die in vain.

  14

  BOGEYMAN

  Yukay hugged the
m both. “We were so afraid we had lost both of you, and we could do nothing.”

  “We survived, thanks to Zap and Naomi,” Kody said.

  But beware. NoAmi still plots against you, and I fear she knows where you are.

  “How so?” Yukay asked.

  I am her twin. I am dead, but I am feeling a tug. She may be tracking me again. Maybe I should go far away.

  “No,” Kody said. “If she tracks you, she tracks you. We’ll close on her soon regardless. Then it won’t make much of a difference.”

  Thank you. I value your presence.

  “Tell your ghost friends to keep alert. We don’t want to walk into any more traps.”

  They are watching. But NoAmi does things indirectly, and they can’t track her communications, just her actual body.

  “And we will orient on that body,” Kody said. “Maybe tomorrow we’ll catch her.”

  They found an old caterpillar tent and used that for the night. Kody lay with Zosi, just holding her close. “I need to complete my Quest as soon as I can,” he said. “To be sure that I do accomplish it. But that will mean the end of my association with you. That’s the irony of the situation.”

  “I know. And I must help you all I can, even if it means losing you sooner.”

  “Oh, Zosi! You are being so noble about this.”

  “I wouldn’t be, if I thought I had any real choice.”

  She was probably right. She was being honest and realistic rather than noble. She was no paragon, just an ordinary woman, regardless of her past. He loved her exactly the way she was.

  In the morning they fired up Sniffer and started off, knowing their quarry was close. The ghosts reported that NoAmi remained where she was, almost as if waiting for them. That was odd.

  It started uneventfully. They saw an impolite shape flying over the trees, pursued by a worse-looking one. “Flying buttress,” Yukay observed disdainfully. “Followed by the male of the species, the flying butt. I wish they would keep their obscene antics out of the sky.”

  Then they came to a circle of giant ears mounted in the ground. “Look! An earring!” Yukay exclaimed. “They perform oracles for passing folk.” She stepped into the circle. “What will our luck be today?” she asked.

  The ears wilted and lay flat on the ground. “Uh-oh,” Ivan said.

  “That’s a bad sign,” Yukay agreed. “It means we’ll have bad luck today.”

  Kody could have lived without that news, but he remained silent.

  Then they were intercepted by a crying young woman. “Please, please,” she said. “Are yew the man with the reverse wood chips? I need yewr help right away!”

  “But I’m on a Quest,” Kody said. “I can’t take incidental time off.”

  “It’s a child!” she said. “A little boy. The Bogeyman’s got him. I can’t save him because I am knot his mother, but I can knot just let him bee eaten!”

  “Eaten!”

  “That’s what the Bogeyman does. He eats children. It’s horrible. Please, yew must help!”

  There was something about her accent that he found odd, but now was not the time to be distracted by irrelevant things. He looked at Yukay.

  “Of course we’ll help,” Yukay said, and Zosi agreed. “But it can be hard to make the Bogeyman back off once he captures a child.”

  “I thought if I could get some reverse wood, that wood reverse it and free the boy. Please, there is little time.”

  “Show us the way,” Yukay said.

  The young woman hurried north. They followed. Kody noticed incidentally that she was shapely, and she wore what appeared to be a little crown. Could she actually be a princess? That seemed unlikely.

  “We should get acquainted,” Yukay said as she paced the woman. “I am the Maiden Yukay, this is Zosi Zombie, this is Ivan Human, Zap Griffin, and you are right: Kody Mundane, with the chips.”

  “I am Wenda Woodwife.” She paused. “More formally, Princess Wenda Charming, because my husband is a prince. But I dew knot worry about that, just the children. I can knot have any of my own, so I adopt those in need, and that is working well. It is rewarding.”

  “And you speak with the forest dialect!” Yukay said.

  “I dew,” Wenda agreed. “I wood knot try to conceal my origin; I am proud of it, though some say it is unprincessly.”

  “Princessly is what princessly does,” Yukay said. “You adopt needy children? That is wonderful!”

  “Yes. Those with infirmities that make others knot want them. They especially need support and love.”

  “More than wonderful,” Zosi murmured.

  Kody found this interesting, but remained conscious that it was a diversion from his Quest. “How did you come across this lost child?”

  “I was visiting forest friends, when I heard the cry of a lost child,” Wenda explained. “I can hear a child in trouble anywhere in Xanth; it is a special talent my friend Eris gave me. Also the ability to get there swiftly, to rescue the child, and take it home with me if that is called for. It is how I find the children in need. So I came immediately. But I was too late; the Bogeyman reached him first. The Bogeyman thought I was his mother, and I did knot deny it, because otherwise he wood have eaten the child right away, and anyway I might adopt the boy if he needed it, and truly become his mother. But the Bogeyman made demands I wood knot honor, and I had to tell him I had to pause to consider. But he will knot wait long.”

  “I thought the Bogeyman was just a scare story to make children behave,” Kody said.

  Both women, and Zosi, turned on him. “Not in Xanth,” Yukay said. “The Bogeyman is all too real, and dangerous. Many children are lost every year to his awful appetite.”

  “But there are rules,” Zosi said. “He can’t take just any lost child.”

  “That’s right,” Yukay said. “The mother has to give him to the Bogeyman. Then when the Bogeyman comes and she’s sorry, she has to deal with him alone. But he doesn’t readily give up the child. She has to buy it from him, and that can be a price she doesn’t want to pay.”

  “I can imagine,” Kody said dryly.

  “So I invoked another gift from my friend Eris, which is to locate the nearest source of help. That is yew with yewr special chips.”

  “This friend Eris must be very special,” Kody said.

  “She is. I could knot dew any of this without her.”

  “But why would a mother give her child to the Bogeyman, if she didn’t want to be rid of the child?” Ivan asked.

  “In a fit of temper,” Yukay said. “Children can be horribly trying at times, pushing mothers over the edge. Then they can threaten the child with the Bogeyman. They don’t really mean it, but technically they may say it. Then the Bogeyman comes, and they’re sorry, but it’s too late.”

  “That must have happened this time,” Wenda said. “I wood knot say it to my own children, but sometimes I’ve been tempted.”

  “Your adopted children,” Yukay said.

  Wenda looked at her. “Dew yew mean there is a distinction?”

  “No, of course not,” Yukay said quickly.

  The more he learned of this, the less Kody liked it. “I think I need to know, if I am to help. Exactly what did the Bogeyman demand of you, to give up the child?”

  “I dew knot want to say,” Wenda said.

  “It’s ugly,” Yukay said. “Best not to ask.”

  “But there might be some way of handling it,” Kody said. “If I knew exactly what to reverse.”

  Yukay sighed. “Then I will tell you. Traditionally the Bogeyman gives the mother a choice from three similarly repulsive payments. The first is to be his mistress for a month. She must sneak out, not telling her husband, for an hour every night to cater to the lust of the Bogeyman. He is said to be an ugly lover, demanding unspeakably obscene things, who leaves a woman feeling forever unclean thereafter. The second is to give up enough of her blood, flesh, and bone for him to eat to make up for what he would have had from the child. This will leave her s
eriously ill, and take a long time to recover, and she can’t tell her family what happened. The third is to bring him another child of similar size to eat, either another of her own or of another woman’s family; she must steal that child and never speak of it thereafter.”

  “And if she refuses to do any of these,” Zosi said with a shudder, “he will simply eat her child, biting off the arms and legs, then the head, and finishing with the body. She must watch it happen.”

  “I understand most mothers take the first option,” Yukay said. “Rather than let their child die. But it demeans them horribly.”

  “I could knot,” Wenda said. “Eris wood know, and bee disappointed in me. I fear what she might dew.”

  “This is one ugly creature!” Kody said, appalled. “I would simply kill him.”

  “You can’t,” Yukay said. “The Bogeyman is immortal, and protected by magical law; no mortal person can even try to kill him. He has to be dealt with on his own terms.”

  “Then how will a reverse wood chip help?”

  “I am knot sure,” Wenda said. “All I know is that when I sought help, I was brought to yew. So there must bee a way.”

  Which left it up to Kody. Would it be like fighting a dragon, using chips to reverse the fire or smoke? Somehow he doubted it. What needed reversing was the whole situation, and he wasn’t sure chips could do that.

  Then, suddenly, they came to the scene. There was the little boy, wailing in the bottom of the pit. And there was the Bogeyman, a horrendous, vaguely manlike figure with a scaly body, a ratlike head, and soulless white eyes. He looked the epitome of evil, and Kody knew at a glance that there would be no placating this monster. His terms had to be met, or he would eat the child; it was that simple.

  Or was it? Something was nagging the fringe of Kody’s mind. There was a wrongness here that went beyond the ugliness of the creature or of the situation. But Kody couldn’t quite pin it down.

  “Squawk!” It was an exclamation of recognition.

  Then Zosi cried out. “That’s Plato! Eve’s son!”

  Kody had not really looked at the child before. Now he did. She was right: this was the boy with the talent of reanimating the dead. The one Zosi was supposed to mentor, if she decided to live long enough to do it. How had he come here?