The Child of the Dawn

  XXVII

  I had somehow never expected to be used with positive violence in theworld of spirits, and least of all in that lazy and good-natured place.Considering, too, the errand on which I had come, not for my ownconvenience but for the sake of another, my treatment seemed to me veryhard. What was still more humiliating was the fact that my spirit seemedjust as powerless in the hands of these ruffians as my body would havebeen on earth. I was pushed, hustled, insulted, hurt. I could havesummoned Amroth to my aid, but I felt too proud for that; yet thethought of the cragmen, and the possibility of the second death, didvisit my mind with dismal iteration. I did not at all desire a furtherdeath; I felt very much alive, and full of interest and energy. Worstof all was my sense that Cynthia had gone over to the enemy. I had beenso loftily kind with her, that I much resented having appeared in hersight as feeble and ridiculous. It is difficult to preserve any dignityof demeanour or thought, with a man's hand at one's neck and his knee inone's back: and I felt that Lucius had displayed a really Satanicalmalignity in using this particular means of degrading me in Cynthia'ssight, and of regaining his own lost influence.

  I was thrust and driven before my captors along an alley in the garden,and what added to my discomfiture was that a good many people rantogether to see us pass, and watched me with decided amusement. I wastaken finally to a little pavilion of stone, with heavily barredwindows, and a flagged marble floor. The room was absolutely bare, andcontained neither seat nor table. Into this I was thrust, with someobscene jesting, and the door was locked upon me.

  The time passed very heavily. At intervals I heard music burst outamong the alleys, and a good many people came to peep in upon mewith an amused curiosity. I was entirely bewildered by my position,and did not see what I could have done to have incurred my punishment.But in the solitary hours that followed I began to have a suspicionof my fault. I had found myself hitherto the object of so much attentionand praise, that I had developed a strong sense of complacency andself-satisfaction. I had an uncomfortable suspicion that there was evenmore behind, but I could not, by interrogating my mind and searching outmy spirits, make out clearly what it was; yet I felt I was having asharp lesson; and this made me resolve that I would ask for no kind ofassistance from Amroth or any other power, but that I would try to meetwhatever fell upon me with patience, and extract the full savour of myexperience.

  I do not know how long I spent in the dismal cell. I was in somediscomfort from the handling I had received, and in still greaterdejection of mind. Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching. Three of mycaptors appeared, and told me roughly to go with them. So, a pitiablefigure, I limped along between two of them, the third following behind,and was conducted through the central piazza of the place, between twolines of people who gave way to the most undisguised merriment, and evenshouted opprobrious remarks at me, calling me spy and traitor and otherunpleasant names. I could not have believed that these kind-mannered andcourteous persons could have exhibited, all of a sudden, such frankbrutality, and I saw many of my own acquaintance among them, whoregarded me with obvious derision.

  I was taken into a big hall, in which I had often sat to hear a concertof music. On the dais at the upper end were seated a number of dignifiedpersons, in a semicircle, with a very handsome and stately old man inthe centre on a chair of state, whose face was new to me. Before thisCourt I was formally arraigned; I had to stand alone in the middle ofthe floor, in an open space. Two of my captors stood on each side of me;while the rest of the court was densely packed with people, who greetedme with obvious hostility.

  When silence was procured, the President said to me, with a show ofgreat courtesy, that he could not disguise from himself that the chargeagainst me was a serious one; but that justice would be done to me,fully and carefully. I should have ample opportunity to excuse myself.He then called upon one of those who sat with him to state the casebriefly, and call witnesses and after that he promised I might speak formyself.

  A man rose from one of the seats, and, pleading somewhat rhetorically,said that the object of the great community, to which so many were proudto belong, was to secure to all the utmost amount of innocentenjoyment, and the most entire peace of mind; that no pressure was putupon any one who decided to stay there, and to observe the quiet customsof the place; but that it was always considered a heinous andill-disposed thing to attempt to unsettle any one's convictions, or toattempt, by using undue influence, to bring about the migration of anycitizen to conditions of which little was known, but which there wasreason to believe were distinctly undesirable.

  "We are, above all," he said, "a religious community; our rites and ourceremonies are privileges open to all; we compel no one to attend them;all that we insist is that no one, by restless innovation or cynicalcontempt, should attempt to disturb the emotions of serenecontemplation, distinguished courtesy, and artistic feeling, for whichour society has been so long and justly celebrated."

  This was received with loud applause, indulgently checked by thePresident. Some witnesses were then called, who testified to theindifference and restlessness which I had on many occasions manifested.It was brought up against me that I had provoked a much-respected memberof the community, Charmides, to utter some very treasonous andunpleasant language, and that it was believed that the rash and unhappystep, which he had lately taken, of leaving the place, had been entirelyor mainly the result of my discontented and ill-advised suggestion.

  Then Lucius himself, wearing an air of extreme gravity and evendespondency, was called, and a murmur of sympathy ran through theaudience. Lucius, apparently struggling with deep emotion, said that hebore me no actual ill-will; that on my first arrival he had done hisbest to welcome me and make me feel at home; that it was probably knownto all that I had been accompanied by an accomplished and justly popularlady, whom I had openly treated with scanty civility and undisguisedcontempt. That he had himself, under the laws of the place, contracteda close alliance with my unhappy protegee, and that their union had beenduly accredited; but that I had lost no opportunity of attempting toundermine his happiness, and to maintain an unwholesome influence overher. That I had at last left the place myself, with a most uncivilabruptness; during the interval of absence my occupations were believedto have been of the most dubious character: it was more than suspected,indeed, that I had penetrated to places, the very name of which couldhardly be mentioned without shame and consternation. That my associateshad been persons of the vilest character and the most brutalantecedents; and at last, feeling in need of distraction, I had againreturned with the deliberate intention of seducing his unhappy partnerinto accompanying me to one or other of the abandoned places I hadvisited. He added that Cynthia had been so much overcome by her emotion,and her natural compassion for an old acquaintance, that he hadpersuaded her not to subject herself to the painful strain of anappearance in public; but that for this action he threw himself upon themercy of the Court, who would know that it was only dictated bychivalrous motives.

  At this there was subdued applause, and Lucius, after adding a fewbroken words to the effect that he lived only for the maintenance oforder, peace, and happiness, and that he was devoted heart and soul tothe best interests of the community, completely broke down, and wasassisted from his place by friends.

  The whole thing was so malignant and ingenious a travesty of what hadhappened, that I was entirely at a loss to know what to say. ThePresident, however, courteously intimated that though the case appearedto present a good many very unsatisfactory features, yet I was entirelyat liberty to justify myself if I could, and, if not, to makesubmission; and added that I should be dealt with as leniently aspossible.

  I summoned up my courage as well as I might. I began by saying that Iclaimed no more than the liberty of thought and action which I knew theCourt desired to concede. I said that my arrival at the place wasmysterious even to myself, and that I had simply acted under orders inaccompanying Cynthia, and in seeing that she was securely bestowed. Isaid that I had never incited
any rebellion, or any disobedience to lawsof the scope of which I had never been informed. That I had indeedfrankly discussed matters of general interest with any citizen whoseemed to desire it; that I had been always treated with markedconsideration and courtesy; and that, as far as I was aware, I hadalways followed the same policy myself. I said that I was sincerelyattached to Cynthia, but added that, with all due respect, I could nolonger consider myself a member of the community. I had transferredmyself elsewhere under direct orders, with my own entire concurrence,and that I had since acted in accordance with the customs andregulations of the community to which I had been allotted. I went on tosay that I had returned under the impression that my presence wasdesired by Cynthia, and that I must protest with all my power againstthe treatment I had received. I had been arrested and imprisoned withmuch violence and contumely, without having had any opportunity ofhearing what my offence was supposed to have been, or having had anysemblance of a trial, and that I could not consider that my usage hadbeen consistent with the theory of courtesy, order, or justice soeloquently described by the President.

  This onslaught of mine produced an obvious revulsion in my favour. ThePresident conferred hastily with his colleagues, and then said that myarrest had indeed been made upon the information of Lucius, and with thecognisance of the Court; but that he sincerely regretted that I had anycomplaint of unhandsome usage to make, and that the matter would becertainly inquired into. He then added that he understood from my wordsthat I desired to make a complete submission, and that in that case Ishould be acquitted of any evil intentions. My fault appeared to be thatI had yielded too easily to the promptings of an ill-balanced andspeculative disposition, and that if I would undertake to disturb nolonger the peace of the place, and to desist from all further tamperingwith the domestic happiness of a much-respected pair, I should bedischarged with a caution, and indeed be admitted again to theprivileges of orderly residence.

  "And I will undertake to say," he added, "that the kindness and courtesyof our community will overlook your fault, and make no further referenceto a course of conduct which appears to have been misguided rather thandeliberately malevolent. We have every desire not to disturb in any waythe tranquillity which it is, above all things, our desire to maintain.May I conclude, then, that this is your intention?"

  "No, sir," I said, "certainly not! With all due respect to the Court,I cannot submit to the jurisdiction. The only privilege I claim is theprivilege of an alien and a stranger, who in a perfectly peacefulmanner, and with no seditious intent, has re-entered this land, and hasthereupon been treated with gross and unjust violence. I do not for amoment contest the right of this community to make its own laws andregulations, but I do contest its right to fetter the thought and theliberty of speech of all who enter it. I make no submission. The LadyCynthia came here under my protection, and if any undue influence hasbeen used, it has been used by Lucius, whom I treated with a confidencehe has abused. And I here appeal to a higher power and a higher court,which may indeed permit this unhappy community to make its ownregulations, but will not permit any gross violation of elementaryjustice."

  I was carried away by great indignation in the course of my words, whichhad a very startling effect. A large number of the audience left thehall in haste. The judge grew white to the lips, whether with anger orfear I did not know, said a few words to his neighbour, and then with agreat effort to control himself, said to me:

  "You put us, sir, by your words, in a very painful position. You do notknow the conditions under which we live--that is evident--andintemperate language like yours has before now provoked an invasion ofour peace of a most undesirable kind. I entreat you to calm yourself, toaccept the apologies of the Court for the incidental and indeedunjustifiable violence with which you were treated. If you will onlyreturn to your own community, the nature of which I will not now stay toinquire, you may be assured that you will be conducted to our gates withthe utmost honour. Will you pledge yourself as a gentleman, and, as Ibelieve I am right in saying, as a Christian, to do this?"

  "Yes," I said, "upon one condition: that I may have an interview withthe Lady Cynthia, and that she may be free to accompany me, if shewishes."

  The President was about to reply, when a sudden and unlooked-forinterruption occurred. A man in a pearly-grey dress, with a cloakclasped with gold, came in at the end of the hall, and advanced withrapid steps and a curiously unconcerned air up the hall. The judges rosein their places with a hurried and disconcerted look. The stranger cameup to me, tapped me on the shoulder, and bade me presently follow him.Then he turned to the President, and said in a clear, peremptory voice:

  "Dissolve the Court! Your powers have been grossly and insolentlyexceeded. See that nothing of this sort occurs again!" and then,ascending the dais, he struck the President with his open hand hard uponthe cheek.

  The President gave a stifled cry and staggered in his place, and then,covering his face with his hands, went out at a door on the platform,followed by the rest of the Council in haste. Then the man came downagain, and motioned me to follow him. I was not prepared for whathappened. Outside in the square was a great, pale, silent crowd, in themost obvious and dreadful excitement and consternation. We went rapidly,in absolute stillness, through two lines of people, who watched us withan emotion I could not quite interpret, but it was something very likehatred.

  "Follow me quickly," said my guide; "do not look round!" and, as wewent, I heard the crowd closing up in a menacing way behind us. But wewalked straight forward, neither slowly nor hurriedly but at adeliberate pace, to the gateway which opened on the cliffs. At thispoint I saw a confusion in the crowd, as though some one were being keptback, and in the forefront of the throng, gesticulating and arguing,was Lucius himself, with his back to us. Just as we reached the gate Iheard a cry; and from the crowd there ran Cynthia, with her hairunbound, in terror and faintness. Our guide opened the gate, andmotioned us swiftly through, turning round to face the crowd, which nowran in upon us. I saw him wave his arm; and then he came quickly throughthe gate and closed it. He looked at us with a smile. "Don't be afraid,"he said; "that was a dangerous business. But they cannot touch us here."As he said the word, there burst from the gardens behind us a storm ofthe most hideous and horrible cries I had ever heard, like the howlingof wild beasts. Cynthia clung to me in terror, and nearly swooned in myarms. "Never mind," said the guide; "they are disappointed, and nowonder. It was a near thing; but, poor creatures, they have noinitiative; their life is not a fortifying one; and besides, they willhave forgotten all about it to-morrow. Rut we had better not stop here.There is no use in facing disagreeable things, unless one is obliged."And he led the way down the valley.

  When we had got a little farther off, our guide told us to sit down andrest. Cynthia was still very much frightened, speechless with excitementand agitation, and, like all impulsive people, regretting her decision.I saw that it was useless to say anything to her at present. She satwearily enough, her eyes closed, and her hands clasped. Our guide lookedat me with a half-smile, and said:

  "That was rather an unpleasant business! It is astonishing how excitedthose placid and polite people can get if they think their privilegesare being threatened. But really that Court was rather too much. Theyhave tried it before with some success, and it is a clever trick. Butthey have had a lesson to-day, and it will not need to be repeated for awhile."

  "You arrived just at the right moment," I said, "and I really cannotexpress how grateful I am to you for your help."

  "Oh," he said, "you were quite safe. It was just that touch of temperthat saved you; but I was hard by all the time, to see that things didnot go too far."

  "May I ask," I said, "exactly what they could have done to me, and whattheir real power is?"

  "They have none at all," he said. "They could not really have doneanything to you, except imprison you. What helps them is not their ownpower, which is nothing, but the terror of their victims. If you had notbeen frightened when you were first attacked
, they could not haveoverpowered you. It is all a kind of playacting, which they perform withremarkable skill. The Court was really an admirable piece of drama--theyhave a great gift for representation."

  "Do you mean to say," I said, "that they were actually aware that theyhad no sort of power to inflict any injury upon me?"

  "They could have made it very disagreeable for you," he said, "if theyhad frightened you, and kept you frightened. As long as that lasted,you would have been extremely uncomfortable. But as you saw, the momentyou defied them they were helpless. The part played by Lucius was reallyunpardonable. I am afraid he is a great rascal."

  Cynthia faintly demurred to this. "Never mind," said the guidesoothingly, "he has only shown you his good side, of course; and I don'tdeny that he is a very clever and attractive fellow. But he makes noprogress, and I am really afraid that he will have to be transferredelsewhere; though there is indeed one hope for him."

  "Tell me what that is," said Cynthia faintly.

  "I don't think I need do that," said our friend, "you know better thanI; and some day, I think, when you are stronger, you will find the wayto release him."

  "Ah, you don't know him as I do," said Cynthia, and relapsed intosilence; but did not withdraw her hand from mine.

  "Well," said our guide after a moment's pause, "I think I have done allI can for the time being, and I am wanted elsewhere."

  "But will you not advise me what to do next?" I said. "I do not see myway clear."

  "No," said the guide rather drily, "I am afraid I cannot do that. Thatlies outside my province. These delicate questions are not in my line. Iwill tell you plainly what I am. I am just a messenger, perhaps morelike a policeman," he added, smiling, "than anything else. I just go andappear when I am wanted, if there is a row or a chance of one. Don'tmisunderstand me!" he said more kindly. "It is not from any lack ofinterest in you or our friend here. I should very much like to know whatstep you will take, but it is simply not my business: our duties hereare very clearly defined, and I can just do my job, and nothing more."

  He made a courteous salute, and walked off without looking back, leavingon me the impression of a young military officer, perfectly courteousand reliable, not inclined to cultivate his emotions or to waste words,but absolutely effective, courageous, and dutiful.

  "Well," I said to Cynthia with a show of cheerfulness, "what shall we donext? Are you feeling strong enough to go on?"

  "I am sure I don't know," said Cynthia wearily. "Don't ask me. I havehad a great fright, and I begin to wish I had stayed behind. Howuncomfortable everything is! Why can one never have a moment's peace?There," she said to me, "don't be vexed, I am not blaming you; but Ihated you for not showing more fight when those men set on you, and Ihated Lucius for having done it; you must forgive me! I am sure you onlydid what was kind and right--but I have had a very trying time, and Idon't like these bothers. Let me alone for a little, and I daresay Ishall be more sensible."

  I sat by her in much perplexity, feeling singularly helpless andineffective; and in a moment of weakness, not knowing what to do, Iwished that Amroth were near me, to advise me; and to my relief saw himapproaching, but also realised in a flash that I had acted wrongly, andthat he was angry, as I had never seen him before.

  He came up to us, and bending down to Cynthia with great tenderness,took her hand, and said, "Will you stay here quietly a little, Cynthia,and rest? You are perfectly safe now, and no one will come near you. Wetwo shall be close at hand; but we must have a talk together, and seewhat can be done."

  Cynthia smiled and released me. Amroth beckoned me to withdraw with him.When we had got out of earshot, he turned upon me very fiercely, andsaid, "You have made a great mess of this business."

  "I know it," I said feebly, "but I cannot for the life of me see where Iwas wrong."

  "You were wrong from beginning to end," he said. "Cannot you see that,whatever this place is, it is not a sentimental place? It is all thiswretched sentiment that has done the mischief. Come," he added, "I havean unpleasant task before me, to unmask you to yourself. I don't likeit, but I must do it. Don't make it harder for me."

  "Very good," I said, rather angrily too. "But allow me to say thisfirst. This is a place of muddle. One is worked too hard, and shown toomany things, till one is hopelessly confused. But I had rather have yourcriticism first, and then I will make mine."

  "Very well!" said Amroth facing me, looking at me fixedly with his blueeyes, and his nostrils a little distended. "The mischief lies in yourtemperament. You are precocious, and you are volatile. You have hadspecial opportunities, and in a way you have used them well, but yourhead has been somewhat turned by your successes. You came to that placeyonder, with Cynthia, with a sense of superiority. You thought yourselftoo good for it, and instead of just trying to see into the minds andhearts of the people you met, you despised them; instead of learning,you tried to teach. You took a feeble interest in Cynthia, made a pet ofher; then, when I took you away, you forgot all about her. Even thegreat things I was allowed to show you did not make you humble. You tookthem as a compliment to your powers. And so when you had your chance togo back to help Cynthia, you thought out no plan, you asked no advice.You went down in a very self-sufficient mood, expecting that everythingwould be easy."

  "That is not true," I said. "I was very much perplexed."

  "It is only too true," said Amroth; "you enjoyed your perplexity; Idaresay you called it faith to yourself! It was that which made youweak. You lost your temper with Lucius, you made a miserable fight ofit--and even in prison you could not recognise that you were in fault.You did better at the trial--I fully admit that you behaved wellthere--but the fault is in this, that this girl gave you her heart andher confidence, and you despised them. Your mind was taken up with otherthings; a very little more, and you would be fit for the intellectualparadise. There," he said, "I have nearly done! You may be angry if youwill, but that is the truth. You have a wrong idea of this place. It isnot plain sailing here. Life here is a very serious, very intricate,very difficult business. The only complications which are removed arethe complications of the body; but one has anxious and tryingresponsibilities all the same, and you have trifled with them. You mustnot delude yourself. You have many good qualities. You have somecourage, much ingenuity, keen interests, and a good deal ofconscientiousness; but you have the makings of a dilettante, thereadiness to delude yourself that the particular little work you areengaged in is excessively and peculiarly important. You have got theproportion all wrong."

  I had a feeling of intense anger and bitterness at all this; but as hespoke, the scales seemed to fall from my eyes, and I saw that Amroth wasright. I wrestled with myself in silence.

  Presently I said, "Amroth, I believe you are right, though I think atthis moment that you have stated all this rather harshly. But I do seethat it can be no pleasure to you to state it, though I fear I shallnever regain my pleasure in your company."

  "There," said Amroth, "that is sentiment again!"

  This put me into a great passion.

  "Very well," I said, "I will say no more. Perhaps you will just be goodenough to tell me what I am to do with Cynthia, and where I am to go,and then I will trouble you no longer."

  "Oh," said Amroth with a sneer, "I have no doubt you can find some verynice semidetached villas hereabouts. Why not settle down, and make thepoor girl a little mote worthy of yourself?"

  At this I turned from him in great anger, and left him standing where hewas. If ever I hated any one, I hated Amroth at that moment. I went backto Cynthia.

  "I have come back to you, dear," I said. "Can you trust me and go withme? No one here seems inclined to help us, and we must just help eachother."

  At which Cynthia rose and flung herself into my arms.

  "That was what I wanted all along," she said, "to feel that I could beof use too. You will see how brave I can be. I can go anywhere with youand do anything, because I think I have loved you all the time."

  "And you must fo
rgive me, Cynthia," I said, "as well. For I did not knowtill this moment that I loved you, but I know it now; and I shall loveyou to the end."

  As I said these words I turned, and saw Amroth smiling from afar; thenwith a wave of the hand to us, he turned and passed out of our sight.