April Shadows

  "How would you know that?" Jenna fired back at him. It was David's time to laugh.

  "Don't you remember, Jenna? You told me," Luke countered, and they all laughed again.

  Teasing and insulting each other was obviously their idea of

  "Stop looking so worried, April," Jenna told me.

  "Give her something to calm her down," David told Jenna, and jerked his head in my direction.

  "Oh, sure," she said. "Here." She handed me a bag with an open bottle in it. "Take some of this."

  "What is it?" I asked, without taking it.

  "Just some good vodka. It'll warm you up and make you feel good."

  "I don't drink," I said.

  "Nobody drinks." Luke said. "but once in a while, it helps. No big deal. Go on, take a swig," he urged.

  "You're not afraid of some vodka, are you. Scooter?" David taunted.

  "No," I said. "I'm just not used to drinking."

  Jenna held it out and smiled. "Get used to it," she suggested.

  They were all watching to see what I would do. and I realized it was some sort of test. One sip can't hurt. I thought. I closed my hands around the bottle and brought the neck of it to my lips to take a very quick taste. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't anything delicious to me, either.

  "That's not a drink. Take a real drink," Luke said, putting his hand under the bottom of the bottle and lifting it so I would bring it to my lips again.

  I did, and he held it there while I swallowed and swallowed until I started to gag.

  "Great!" Jenna cried.

  "Good work. Scooter," David added.

  Luke smiled and took a long drink from the bottle himself. "Good stuff. Where's it from, your daddy's private stash. David?"

  "Matter of fact, it is," he said. "I poured it into that bottle and poured some water into his. He mixes it, anyway, so he won't know the difference," David said.

  We were continuing down the highway and passed what I knew to be the exit for the mall. I looked back and nudged Jenna.

  "I thought we were going to the mall."

  "Yes, David," Jenna said. "I thought we were going to the "Later," he said. "I got a nice surprise for us."

  "Oh, great." she squealed, and turned to me. "I love surprises, don't you. April?"

  I shrugged. Luke handed me the bottle. "Your turn again." he said.

  "I don't think I want anymore," I told him.

  "Sure, you do. It will help you relax." He squeezed my shoulders, drawing me against him. "I can feel how uptight you are. You have to loosen up to get with it," he said. "Join the party."

  "That's the surprise!" David cried. "We're having a party."

  Luke brought the bottle to my mouth. "Hey, you hear that? That's great. Open now," he said. laughing.

  "Go on, take a little more," Jenna said. "You'll love how you'll feel.

  I let Luke put the bottle's neck to my lips again and swallowed as he held it up. It was like a father feeding his baby or something. It made me feel foolish. so I took the bottle out of his hands.

  "I can do it myself." I snapped at him.

  "That's the spirit. Scooter," David said. "Don't let him push you around."

  "Look who's talking like a big shot. Mr. Henpecked," Luke told him.

  I did take another long sip, and then I handed the bottle back to Jenna, who immediately drank. I thought to myself, since they were all doing it, it couldn't be so bad. I could feel it traveling quickly to my head, and either because they told me it would happen or I wanted it to happen. I felt myself loosen and relax.

  David pulled off at the next exit and sped around the curve. I didn't know where we were. He made another turn and then another, each one sharply, causing us all to scream. As silly as it sounds. I started to enjoy the wild driving.

  "Where the hell did you get your license?" Luke cried.

  "License? What's a license?" David replied, and when they laughed. I did, too.

  He slowed down and turned into the driveway of a tired-looking two-story Queen Anne--style home. There was a small square of neglected lawn on each side of the driveway. David stopped before the detached garage. The house was dark, the windows looking stained and grimy.

  "Where are we?" I asked.

  "This is my granddad's house," David said. "He's in the hospital. He had kidney stones or something. I'm supposed to be looking after the place. Gives me a good excuse for getting my father to give me the car," he added. "Now you got the whole story, Scooter. C'mon," he said, opening the door.

  "I hope there's something to eat," Jenna said. "I'm hungry." "I have something you can eat," Luke said, opening his door.

  "No, thank you," Jenna said. "C'mon, April. We girls have to stick together," she told me. and I got out.

  I felt warmer and even a little numb all over. For a moment, the earth turned and then settled down. It made me laugh, the laugh coming unexpected, as unexpected as a burp. Jenna laughed, too. David went to the front door, looked under a mat, and produced a key. He held it up for Luke to see and then opened the door, and we followed him into the house.

  The house had a musty odor that almost turned my stomach. It was gurgling anyway from all the vodka I had consumed. David turned on a lamp in the hallway and then another in the small living room on the right. All the furniture looked old and worn, the area rug threadbare.

  "How long has your granddad been in the hospital?" I asked. "I don't know. A few weeks. He had other problems. He's about eighty."

  David flopped on the sofa, and it looked to me as if a small cloud of dust rose when he did.

  "Make yourself at home," he told us.

  "C'mon," Jenna said, tugging me. "Let's look in the kitchen and see what's to eat."

  I followed her into the small kitchen. There was a pale yellow Formica table with four chairs. I could see someone had spilled sugar over the top of the table, and there was a party of ants enjoying their discovery. Whatever David was supposed to do at the house, he hadn't. I concluded. The garbage can was full, the sink still fall of dim dishes, some caked with food remnants, and there were dirty glasses on the counter. I saw an open pizza box with pieces of crust still in it. The ants were all over that as well. On the floor below the counter was a bag frill of empty beer bottles.

  Jenna opened the refrigerator and held up a package of what looked like some sandwich meat. She held it with two fingers as if it was contaminated.

  "Ugh: she said. "It has some kind of mold on it." She dropped it into the sink.

  Then she sorted through whatever else there was in the refrigerator and concluded there was nothing interesting or edible. The pantry proved as disappointing. She did reach into a box of crackers but determined they were quite stale.

  "David!" she screamed, "There's nothing good enough to eat here. and don't make any wisecracks."

  "We'll go for a pizza later." Luke said from the doorway. We heard music coming from the living room. David had a radio turned on to an upbeat station.

  "We better," Jenna said firmly, and walked back to the living room.

  Luke and I followed. David was sprawled on the sofa, smoking a cigarette. He smiled up at Jenna.

  "Come to Papa, baby," he said, reaching up for her.

  She laughed and fell over him. Then they kissed. and David put his hand on her rear end and looked up at Luke and me.

  "C'mon," Luke said. "Let's give them some privacy." he told me, and took my hand. He had the bottle of vodka in his other hand.

  I let him pull me along.

  "Where are we going?" I asked as he started up the steps.

  "Upstairs, where we can talk and stuff," he said.

  I hesitated, but his grip on my hand was tight. We went up the short stairway, and then he turned into a room, obviously knowing exactly where to go. I thought it was probably David's granddad's room. I saw a pair of pants and a shirt strewn aver a chair, a hair brush and a comb on the dresser, and a pair of shoes and some old slippers next to the bed. On the dresser was a picture
of a couple embracing under a tree, the woman looking small and frightened, as if she had been caught doing something illegal. It was taken years and years ago, because David's

  grandfather looked not much older than David. There were some inexpensive prints of country scenes and a scene of mountains in frames on the walls.

  The blanket on the bed was pulled down, the two pillows creased with the imprints of a head or heads. Luke sat on the bed, stared at the floor a moment, and then looked up at me. He smiled and handed me the bottle of vodka. I shook my head.

  "I think I had enough," I said.

  "No, you didn't. You didn't have more than a few shots. Believe me," he said, pumping the bag at me.

  I took it and sipped some more. "See? No problem."

  He looked at me hard and then took another long drink. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

  "This is the first time you been with someone, right?" he asked.

  "What do you mean. 'been with someone?"

  He nodded. "It's the first time. You like being with boys, though, right?"

  "Yes." I said, getting angry. "You don't have to ask me that."

  "How do you know if you've never been with one like this?" he asked, and then laughed. "You have to experiment to learn what you like, don't you? If you never tasted butterscotch, you wouldn't know if you liked it or not. right? Huh?"

  "I guess not." I said.

  "Sure, it's only logical. No big deal. I'm an expert when it comes to experiments,"

  He reached into his back pocket and produced his brown leather wallet. "See this?" he said, holding it out.

  I looked down at it. There wasn't much to see. I thought, except for what looked like tiny slices in the leather.

  "What?" I asked.

  7: The Pam: Page 190

  "What? Look closely," he said, holding up the wallet. "Count the marks. Fifteen. You'll be sixteen," he said, pointing the bottle at me and then taking another drink. "It's a service I provide to the female population."

  I shook my head. The room was spinning a little, and I was now feeling a little nauseated.

  "I'm dizzy," I said.

  He reached for my hand. "Here, lie down and you'll feel better soon." he said, pulling me toward the bed. He put his hands on my hips and guided me beside him. I sat, and then he lifted me under my arms so I was farther on the bed.

  "Just lie back and relax. Close your eyes for a while. That's it," he said when I did it.

  I felt his hand on my cheek. His fingers moved down to my neck while his other hand lowered the zipper on my jacket. Then he opened the jacket.

  "That's it, relax. You're with Dr. Sex himself." he bragged. "Nothing to worry about."

  I opened my eyes, but the room didn't stop spinning. It felt as if the whole bed were spinning, in fact. I quickly closed them again. I could feel Luke unbuttoning my blouse, but it also felt so far away, almost as if it were really happening to someone else. He opened my blouse, reached under my back, undid my bra, lifted and folded it until it was just under my neck.

  "Um," he said. "just as I thought. We're getting a good start here."

  The air on my naked breasts surprised me. I started to raise myself into a sitting position, but he pressed on my shoulders and kept me from doing so. Then he went down to my jeans and undid them quickly.

  "No. stop," I said when he lifted my buttocks to slide the jeans off,

  "This won't hurt... much," he said. "I've never lost a patient yet," he joked.

  "Please," I cried when I felt my panties going down. My jeans were already below my

  I pressed down on the bed to get momentum and lift myself up, and then he surprised me by bringing his mouth to mint, so forcefully it drove me back to the bed. That startled and frightened me, but what shocked me more was the sensation of feeling his naked legs against mine and then his hardened excitement pressing between my legs. I screamed and tried to turn out from under him.

  "Nurse," I heard him say, "I think I'll need some assistance here."

  Laughter came from the doorway. I turned and saw Jenna and David standing there. David had his arm around her waist, and she was gazing at me and Luke with a dopey smile on her face.

  Suddenly. David lifted his right arm. and I saw he had a camera in his hand.

  "Smile," he called. The camera flashed. and I screamed. "Hey, it's just for Luke's scrapbook. No big deal."

  I screamed again when Luke lifted my legs higher, and then I began to pummel him as hard and as fast as I could.

  "Nurse!" he screamed.

  A moment later. Jenna was holding my wrists and keeping me from striking him.

  "Relax," she said. "It only hurts for a moment."

  How I did it. I don't know. but I managed to jerk my left knee up sharply to strike him where it hurts a boy the most. It was his turn to scream. He fell back, lost his balance, and went off the bed.

  David went into hysterical laughter. Jenna released my wrists. I reached down and gabbed my jeans, pulling them up as fast as I could, not caring if my panties came up as well. Then I turned and crawled over the other side of the bed. David had moved away from the door to stand over the squirming Luke. so I lunged ahead and charged out the doorway.

  "Hey, where the hell you going?" I heard David call out. "The party's just starting."

  I nearly lost my footing on the short stairway and grabbed the banister to prevent myself from tumbling. The turn wrenched my side. but I didn't stop. I regained my footing and continued down the stairway and out the front door. For a moment. I just stood there, unsure which way to run. Their voices and footsteps behind me spirited me to my left. and I ran down the driveway, charging along the side of the road, running as hard as I could. My jacket and blouse were still open, my bra unfastened. but I didn't stop to dress. I ran until the pain in my side was so sharp it took my breath away, and then I stopped and went off to the left, into a small patch of trees and bushes. When I heard the sound of an automobile. I crouched as low as I could.

  David,. Luke, and Jenna drove by. Jenna was looking for me on the left, and Luke was looking on the right, his face framed in the opened window, a face of rage. They went by and disappeared around the far turn. I fell back onto the ground and

  immediately began to throw up. Afterward. I couldn't stop sobbing. My side hurt so much. It felt as if I had cracked a rib. I don't know how long I sat there, but every time I heard the sound of a car, my heart thumped. I didn't see them go by again. I hoped they had given up on finding me.

  It was already well into the twilight hour. Night was falling quickly, and with it the temperature. I stood up, steadied myself, fixed my clothing, and walked out to the road. I stayed as close to the side of the road as I could, so that I could go off to the side every time I heard or saw a car approaching. After a while, I was positive they had given up and were gone.

  Of course. I had no idea where I was going. I laughed to myself, remembering how I had been when this had all begun. I was walking to get myself last, to disappear. Well, now it looked as if I had gotten my wish. The houses on this road were few and far between. When I gazed at my watch. I realized Brenda and Mama were surely wondering where I was by now.

  What would I tell them?

  I was both embarrassed and frightened by what had happened and what I had done. How would I even begin to explain it? The sight of emerging stars put more panic in my chest. At least, the threat of rain had passed, but I had to get to a phone, and quickly. I thought, and broke into a jog. When the headlights of an approaching vehicle washed over me. I started for the side of the road, preparing to run into the wooded area, even though it was difficult to see where I would be going.

  I heard the sound of squeaking brakes and glanced back to see a dark red pickup truck. I stopped. An elderly-looking man leaned out of the passenger's side window.

  "Hey, you all right, miss?" he asked.

  "No," I said, catching my breath. 'I'm lost."

  "Oh. Well, where you headed?"
r />   "I have to get back to Hickory," I said. I took a few steps toward the truck. "To 777 North Castle Drive."

  "Hickory? Well, what are you doing running along this road?" he asked.

  "Some friends of mine thought it would be funny to put me out on the road and leave me." I said, thinking quickly,

  "You damn kids," he said. He opened the truck door. "C'mon, get in," he urged.

  All my life. I had been taught never to speak to strangers, and certainly never to go anywhere with someone I didn't know. It was practically a religious chant as I was growing up. Every time we saw a terrible story on the television news. Mama would turn to me and recite it. Daddy often did. too. But this was a special circumstance. I thought. I really was lost, and the man offering me a ride looked like someone's grandfather.

  I got into the truck.

  "How old are you?" he asked immediately.

  "Fifteen, nearly sixteen," I said.

  "Your parents know you're running around out here?"

  "No, sir. That's why I have to get home as fast as I can."

  "I bet you do." he said, and shifted into drive to start off again. "What's your name?"

  "April. April Taylor."

  "What kind of friends would do a thing like this to you?"

  "Not very good friends," I replied.

  "You got that right. I ain't in the habit of picking up stray teenage girls, but if I didn't stop. Mrs. Petersen would be awful angry," he said.

  "Who's Mrs. Petersen?"

  "That's my misses." he said. "We have a granddaughter who's about your age."

  "I do appreciate your stopping for me," I said. I was on the verge of crying but held my tears back and my sobs down.

  "Yeah. I bet you do. Can you call someone to come get you?" he asked.

  "Yes."

  "Okay. I'll take you to the Four Corners strip mall just this side of the highway. You can call from there. You have money on you?"

  I did. I always carried a ten-dollar bill in my pocket. It was something Daddy gave me and told me to do always.

  "Yes. sir," I said.

  "Sir?" He laughed and looked at me. "You look like you've been in some panic. Better straighten yourself up a bit before your folks come for you." he advised. "So, what is wrong with you young people today?" he asked, and then proceeded to give me his answers, which included lack of discipline, spoiling children rotten, parents who were too self-centered, and a reduction in church attendance. He lectured in a monotone that, strangely enough, had a calming effect on me.