History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter viii.

  Containing scenes of altercation, of no very uncommon kind.

  Mrs Honour had scarce sooner parted from her young lady, thansomething (for I would not, like the old woman in Quevedo, injure thedevil by any false accusation, and possibly he might have no hand init)--but something, I say, suggested itself to her, that bysacrificing Sophia and all her secrets to Mr Western, she mightprobably make her fortune. Many considerations urged this discovery.The fair prospect of a handsome reward for so great and acceptable aservice to the squire, tempted her avarice; and again, the danger ofthe enterprize she had undertaken; the uncertainty of its success;night, cold, robbers, ravishers, all alarmed her fears. So forciblydid all these operate upon her, that she was almost determined to godirectly to the squire, and to lay open the whole affair. She was,however, too upright a judge to decree on one side, before she hadheard the other. And here, first, a journey to London appeared verystrongly in support of Sophia. She eagerly longed to see a place inwhich she fancied charms short only of those which a raptured saintimagines in heaven. In the next place, as she knew Sophia to have muchmore generosity than her master, so her fidelity promised her agreater reward than she could gain by treachery. She thencross-examined all the articles which had raised her fears on theother side, and found, on fairly sifting the matter, that there wasvery little in them. And now both scales being reduced to a prettyeven balance, her love to her mistress being thrown into the scale ofher integrity, made that rather preponderate, when a circumstancestruck upon her imagination which might have had a dangerous effect,had its whole weight been fairly put into the other scale. This wasthe length of time which must intervene before Sophia would be able tofulfil her promises; for though she was intitled to her mother'sfortune at the death of her father, and to the sum of L3000 left herby an uncle when she came of age; yet these were distant days, andmany accidents might prevent the intended generosity of the younglady; whereas the rewards she might expect from Mr Western wereimmediate. But while she was pursuing this thought the good genius ofSophia, or that which presided over the integrity of Mrs Honour, orperhaps mere chance, sent an accident in her way, which at oncepreserved her fidelity, and even facilitated the intended business.

  Mrs Western's maid claimed great superiority over Mrs Honour onseveral accounts. First, her birth was higher; for her great-grandmotherby the mother's side was a cousin, not far removed, to an Irish peer.Secondly, her wages were greater. And lastly, she had been at London,and had of consequence seen more of the world. She had always behaved,therefore, to Mrs Honour with that reserve, and had always exacted ofher those marks of distinction, which every order of females preservesand requires in conversation with those of an inferior order. Now asHonour did not at all times agree with this doctrine, but wouldfrequently break in upon the respect which the other demanded, MrsWestern's maid was not at all pleased with her company; indeed, sheearnestly longed to return home to the house of her mistress, whereshe domineered at will over all the other servants. She had beengreatly, therefore, disappointed in the morning, when Mrs Western hadchanged her mind on the very point of departure; and had been in whatis vulgarly called a glouting humour ever since.

  In this humour, which was none of the sweetest, she came into the roomwhere Honour was debating with herself in the manner we have aboverelated. Honour no sooner saw her, than she addressed her in thefollowing obliging phrase: "Soh, madam, I find we are to have thepleasure of your company longer, which I was afraid the quarrelbetween my master and your lady would have robbed us of."--"I don'tknow, madam," answered the other, "what you mean by we and us. Iassure you I do not look on any of the servants in this house to beproper company for me. I am company, I hope, for their betters everyday in the week. I do not speak on your account, Mrs Honour; for youare a civilized young woman; and when you have seen a little more ofthe world, I should not be ashamed to walk with you in St James'sPark."--"Hoity toity!" cries Honour, "madam is in her airs, I protest.Mrs Honour, forsooth! sure, madam, you might call me by my sir-name;for though my lady calls me Honour, I have a sir-name as well as otherfolks. Ashamed to walk with me, quotha! marry, as good as yourself, Ihope."--"Since you make such a return to my civility," said the other,"I must acquaint you, Mrs Honour, that you are not so good as me. Inthe country, indeed, one is obliged to take up with all kind oftrumpery; but in town I visit none but the women of women of quality.Indeed, Mrs Honour, there is some difference, I hope, between you andme."--"I hope so too," answered Honour: "there is some difference inour ages, and--I think in our persons." Upon speaking which lastwords, she strutted by Mrs Western's maid with the most provoking airof contempt; turning up her nose, tossing her head, and violentlybrushing the hoop of her competitor with her own. The other lady puton one of her most malicious sneers, and said, "Creature! you arebelow my anger; and it is beneath me to give ill words to such anaudacious saucy trollop; but, hussy, I must tell you, your breedingshows the meanness of your birth as well as of your education; andboth very properly qualify you to be the mean serving-woman of acountry girl."--"Don't abuse my lady," cries Honour: "I won't takethat of you; she's as much better than yours as she is younger, andten thousand times more handsomer."

  Here ill luck, or rather good luck, sent Mrs Western to see her maidin tears, which began to flow plentifully at her approach; and ofwhich being asked the reason by her mistress, she presently acquaintedher that her tears were occasioned by the rude treatment of thatcreature there--meaning Honour. "And, madam," continued she, "I couldhave despised all she said to me; but she hath had the audacity toaffront your ladyship, and to call you ugly--Yes, madam, she calledyou ugly old cat to my face. I could not bear to hear your ladyshipcalled ugly."--"Why do you repeat her impudence so often?" said MrsWestern. And then turning to Mrs Honour, she asked her "How she hadthe assurance to mention her name with disrespect?"--"Disrespect,madam!" answered Honour; "I never mentioned your name at all: I saidsomebody was not as handsome as my mistress, and to be sure you knowthat as well as I."--"Hussy," replied the lady, "I will make such asaucy trollop as yourself know that I am not a proper subject of yourdiscourse. And if my brother doth not discharge you this moment, Iwill never sleep in his house again. I will find him out, and have youdischarged this moment."--"Discharged!" cries Honour; "and suppose Iam: there are more places in the world than one. Thank Heaven, goodservants need not want places; and if you turn away all who do notthink you handsome, you will want servants very soon; let me tell youthat."

  Mrs Western spoke, or rather thundered, in answer; but as she washardly articulate, we cannot be very certain of the identical words;we shall therefore omit inserting a speech which at best would notgreatly redound to her honour. She then departed in search of herbrother, with a countenance so full of rage, that she resembled one ofthe furies rather than a human creature.

  The two chambermaids being again left alone, began a second bout ataltercation, which soon produced a combat of a more active kind. Inthis the victory belonged to the lady of inferior rank, but notwithout some loss of blood, of hair, and of lawn and muslin.