History of Tom Jones, a Foundling

  Chapter xiii.

  Containing the great address of the landlady, the great learning of asurgeon, and the solid skill in casuistry of the worthy lieutenant.

  When the wounded man was carried to his bed, and the house began againto clear up from the hurry which this accident had occasioned, thelandlady thus addressed the commanding officer: "I am afraid, sir,"said she, "this young man did not behave himself as well as he shoulddo to your honours; and if he had been killed, I suppose he had buthis desarts: to be sure, when gentlemen admit inferior parsons intotheir company, they oft to keep their distance; but, as my firsthusband used to say, few of 'em know how to do it. For my own part, Iam sure I should not have suffered any fellows to _include_ themselvesinto gentlemen's company; but I thoft he had been an officer himself,till the serjeant told me he was but a recruit."

  "Landlady," answered the lieutenant, "you mistake the whole matter.The young man behaved himself extremely well, and is, I believe, amuch better gentleman than the ensign who abused him. If the youngfellow dies, the man who struck him will have most reason to be sorryfor it: for the regiment will get rid of a very troublesome fellow,who is a scandal to the army; and if he escapes from the hands ofjustice, blame me, madam, that's all."

  "Ay! ay! good lack-a-day!" said the landlady; "who could have thoftit? Ay, ay, ay, I am satisfied your honour will see justice done; andto be sure it oft to be to every one. Gentlemen oft not to kill poorfolks without answering for it. A poor man hath a soul to be saved, aswell as his betters."

  "Indeed, madam," said the lieutenant, "you do the volunteer wrong: Idare swear he is more of a gentleman than the officer."

  "Ay!" cries the landlady; "why, look you there, now: well, my firsthusband was a wise man; he used to say, you can't always know theinside by the outside. Nay, that might have been well enough too; forI never _saw'd_ him till he was all over blood. Who would have thoftit? mayhap, some young gentleman crossed in love. Good lack-a-day, ifhe should die, what a concern it will be to his parents! why, sure thedevil must possess the wicked wretch to do such an act. To be sure, heis a scandal to the army, as your honour says; for most of thegentlemen of the army that ever I saw, are quite different sort ofpeople, and look as if they would scorn to spill any Christian bloodas much as any men: I mean, that is, in a civil way, as my firsthusband used to say. To be sure, when they come into the wars, theremust be bloodshed: but that they are not to be blamed for. The more ofour enemies they kill there, the better: and I wish, with all myheart, they could kill every mother's son of them."

  "O fie, madam!" said the lieutenant, smiling; "_all_ is rather toobloody-minded a wish."

  "Not at all, sir," answered she; "I am not at all bloody-minded, onlyto our enemies; and there is no harm in that. To be sure it is naturalfor us to wish our enemies dead, that the wars may be at an end, andour taxes be lowered; for it is a dreadful thing to pay as we do. Whynow, there is above forty shillings for window-lights, and yet we havestopt up all we could; we have almost blinded the house, I am sure.Says I to the exciseman, says I, I think you oft to favour us; I amsure we are very good friends to the government: and so we are forsartain, for we pay a mint of money to 'um. And yet I often think tomyself the government doth not imagine itself more obliged to us, thanto those that don't pay 'um a farthing. Ay, ay, it is the way of theworld."

  She was proceeding in this manner when the surgeon entered the room.The lieutenant immediately asked how his patient did. But he resolvedhim only by saying, "Better, I believe, than he would have been bythis time, if I had not been called; and even as it is, perhaps itwould have been lucky if I could have been called sooner."--"I hope,sir," said the lieutenant, "the skull is not fractured."--"Hum," criesthe surgeon: "fractures are not always the most dangerous symptoms.Contusions and lacerations are often attended with worse phaenomena,and with more fatal consequences, than fractures. People who knownothing of the matter conclude, if the skull is not fractured, all iswell; whereas, I had rather see a man's skull broke all to pieces,than some contusions I have met with."--"I hope," says the lieutenant,"there are no such symptoms here."--"Symptoms," answered the surgeon,"are not always regular nor constant. I have known very unfavourablesymptoms in the morning change to favourable ones at noon, and returnto unfavourable again at night. Of wounds, indeed, it is rightly andtruly said, _Nemo repente fuit turpissimus_. I was once, I remember,called to a patient who had received a violent contusion in his tibia,by which the exterior cutis was lacerated, so that there was a profusesanguinary discharge; and the interior membranes were so divellicated,that the os or bone very plainly appeared through the aperture of thevulnus or wound. Some febrile symptoms intervening at the same time(for the pulse was exuberant and indicated much phlebotomy), Iapprehended an immediate mortification. To prevent which, I presentlymade a large orifice in the vein of the left arm, whence I drew twentyounces of blood; which I expected to have found extremely sizy andglutinous, or indeed coagulated, as it is in pleuretic complaints;but, to my surprize, it appeared rosy and florid, and its consistencydiffered little from the blood of those in perfect health. I thenapplied a fomentation to the part, which highly answered theintention; and after three or four times dressing, the wound began todischarge a thick pus or matter, by which means the cohesion--Butperhaps I do not make myself perfectly well understood?"--"No,really," answered the lieutenant, "I cannot say I understand asyllable."--"Well, sir," said the surgeon, "then I shall not tire yourpatience; in short, within six weeks my patient was able to walk uponhis legs as perfectly as he could have done before he received thecontusion."--"I wish, sir," said the lieutenant, "you would be so kindonly to inform me, whether the wound this young gentleman hath had themisfortune to receive, is likely to prove mortal."--"Sir," answeredthe surgeon, "to say whether a wound will prove mortal or not at firstdressing, would be very weak and foolish presumption: we are allmortal, and symptoms often occur in a cure which the greatest of ourprofession could never foresee."--"But do you think him in danger?"says the other.--"In danger! ay, surely," cries the doctor: "who isthere among us, who, in the most perfect health, can be said not to bein danger? Can a man, therefore, with so bad a wound as this be saidto be out of danger? All I can say at present is, that it is well Iwas called as I was, and perhaps it would have been better if I hadbeen called sooner. I will see him again early in the morning; and inthe meantime let him be kept extremely quiet, and drink liberally ofwater-gruel."--"Won't you allow him sack-whey?" said thelandlady.--"Ay, ay, sack-whey," cries the doctor, "if you will,provided it be very small."--"And a little chicken broth too?" addedshe.--"Yes, yes, chicken broth," said the doctor, "is verygood."--"Mayn't I make him some jellies too?" said the landlady.--"Ay,ay," answered the doctor, "jellies are very good for wounds, for theypromote cohesion." And indeed it was lucky she had not named soup orhigh sauces, for the doctor would have complied, rather than have lostthe custom of the house.

  The doctor was no sooner gone, than the landlady began to trumpetforth his fame to the lieutenant, who had not, from their shortacquaintance, conceived quite so favourable an opinion of his physicalabilities as the good woman, and all the neighbourhood, entertained(and perhaps very rightly); for though I am afraid the doctor was alittle of a coxcomb, he might be nevertheless very much of a surgeon.

  The lieutenant having collected from the learned discourse of thesurgeon that Mr Jones was in great danger, gave orders for keeping MrNortherton under a very strict guard, designing in the morning toattend him to a justice of peace, and to commit the conducting thetroops to Gloucester to the French lieutenant, who, though he couldneither read, write, nor speak any language, was, however, a goodofficer.

  In the evening, our commander sent a message to Mr Jones, that if avisit would not be troublesome, he would wait on him. This civilitywas very kindly and thankfully received by Jones, and the lieutenantaccordingly went up to his room, where he found the wounded man muchbetter than he expected; nay, Jones assured his friend, that if he hadnot received express orders to the co
ntrary from the surgeon, heshould have got up long ago; for he appeared to himself to be as wellas ever, and felt no other inconvenience from his wound but an extremesoreness on that side of his head.

  "I should be very glad," quoth the lieutenant, "if you was as well asyou fancy yourself, for then you could be able to do yourself justiceimmediately; for when a matter can't be made up, as in case of a blow,the sooner you take him out the better; but I am afraid you thinkyourself better than you are, and he would have too much advantageover you."

  "I'll try, however," answered Jones, "if you please, and will be sokind to lend me a sword, for I have none here of my own."

  "My sword is heartily at your service, my dear boy," cries thelieutenant, kissing him; "you are a brave lad, and I love your spirit;but I fear your strength; for such a blow, and so much loss of blood,must have very much weakened you; and though you feel no want ofstrength in your bed, yet you most probably would after a thrust ortwo. I can't consent to your taking him out tonight; but I hope youwill be able to come up with us before we get many days' marchadvance; and I give you my honour you shall have satisfaction, or theman who hath injured you shan't stay in our regiment."

  "I wish," said Jones, "it was possible to decide this matter to-night:now you have mentioned it to me, I shall not be able to rest."

  "Oh, never think of it," returned the other: "a few days will make nodifference. The wounds of honour are not like those in your body: theysuffer nothing by the delay of cure. It will be altogether as well foryou to receive satisfaction a week hence as now."

  "But suppose," says Jones, "I should grow worse, and die of theconsequences of my present wound?"

  "Then your honour," answered the lieutenant, "will require noreparation at all. I myself will do justice to your character, andtestify to the world your intention to have acted properly, if you hadrecovered."

  "Still," replied Jones, "I am concerned at the delay. I am almostafraid to mention it to you who are a soldier; but though I have beena very wild young fellow, still in my most serious moments, and at thebottom, I am really a Christian."

  "So am I too, I assure you," said the officer; "and so zealous a one,that I was pleased with you at dinner for taking up the cause of yourreligion; and I am a little offended with you now, young gentleman,that you should express a fear of declaring your faith before anyone."

  "But how terrible must it be," cries Jones, "to any one who is reallya Christian, to cherish malice in his breast, in opposition to thecommand of Him who hath expressly forbid it? How can I bear to do thison a sick-bed? Or how shall I make up my account, with such an articleas this in my bosom against me?"

  "Why, I believe there is such a command," cries the lieutenant; "but aman of honour can't keep it. And you must be a man of honour, if youwill be in the army. I remember I once put the case to our chaplainover a bowl of punch, and he confessed there was much difficulty init; but he said, he hoped there might be a latitude granted tosoldiers in this one instance; and to be sure it is our duty to hopeso; for who would bear to live without his honour? No, no, my dearboy, be a good Christian as long as you live; but be a man of honourtoo, and never put up an affront; not all the books, nor all theparsons in the world, shall ever persuade me to that. I love myreligion very well, but I love my honour more. There must be somemistake in the wording the text, or in the translation, or in theunderstanding it, or somewhere or other. But however that be, a manmust run the risque, for he must preserve his honour. So composeyourself to-night, and I promise you you shall have an opportunity ofdoing yourself justice." Here he gave Jones a hearty buss, shook himby the hand, and took his leave.

  But though the lieutenant's reasoning was very satisfactory tohimself, it was not entirely so to his friend. Jones therefore, havingrevolved this matter much in his thoughts, at last came to aresolution, which the reader will find in the next chapter.