Entomophobia

  Lexi chuckled. She didn’t know which was funnier, the notion that “The NASCAR” was some sort of award a car could win, like Best in Show, or the thought of Jeff Gordon racing around Daytona Speedway in a little Mini Cooper.

  The only thing that could not be questioned was Elle’s absolute, unwavering knowledge of television. She knew every character because she watched the shows religiously and not just on DVD, but “live,” as Elle called it. She hated whenever the DVR cut off even the smallest, most insignificant part.

  When they reached school, the parking lot was filled with colorful squares migrating into the school. There were blue ones, brown ones, big ones, little ones. Some posters were three dimensional dioramas while others were simply poster board. And everywhere they looked, there was glitter. It was like prom for poster boards.

  “Poor fools. They don’t even know how bad they’re going to lose,” Elle said with a smile.

  Lexi nodded. She knew hard work and preparation won out every time, and this would be no different. Lexi could almost see the blue ribbon.

  As they were about to go inside, the roar of an engine like none they had ever heard before boomed through the grey sky. Every kid turned and watched in amazement as a sleek, black Ferrari with tinted windows sped down the street and then came to a screeching halt in front of them.

  Every child, parent, and teacher froze in place. A small plume of smoke puffed from the interior of the car as the doors hissed open. Such an exotic car was so unbelievably alien to the middle class suburbanites, they would have been less surprised to see a UFO land in front of the school.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Her jaw muscles started their grinding work out. When she saw Jill step out of the expensive sports car, she knew every student at the school would only be talking about her. How could she possibly compete with that?

  “Sweet car,” several boys proclaimed.

  “That car is out of this world,” Randy said with a nod.

  “I hear she’s super-rich,” Elle whispered.

  That seemed like an understatement. Jill waved to the onlookers as if she were a rock star getting off her tour bus.

  “She’s super-annoying,” Lexi replied. Her jaw was now locked closed as she practically ground her teeth to nubs.

  The two girls watched, just like everyone else, as Jill reached back into the sleek, black car and removed a large poster board. Even from twenty-five yards away, Lexi could see the decorations and the words. They could have been read from a space shuttle in orbit: “Conservation Is Not an Option. It’s a Requirement! “ It was impossible not to read them. They were blinking.

  “How? But? Where? I mean? How the? Can she…? Blinking!” Elle screamed. Her palms were open as if to say, “How can this be?”

  It had taken Lexi and Elle weeks to finish their poster, and yet somehow Jill had outdone them overnight. Words sputtered out of Elle’s mouth like an old car struggling to start. But not for Lexi. Anger bathed every inch of her being. She wanted to hurt Jill, but not just physically. She wanted to embarrass her and hurt the new girl’s pride.

  As Jill stood there in her pretty red dress that barely reached her knees, she asked, “Can someone give me a hand with this?”

  All the boys flocked to her aid. They nearly knocked each other over as they darted toward the car. As the boys argued over who had earned the right to carry Jill’s poster, Lexi saw one boy that caught her eye.

  “Is that…?”

  “It had better not be,” Lexi remarked. She dropped her backpack and marched toward the pride of young lions. She pushed through the crowd, and when she reached the Jill center, her heart sank. There was rage, but now it was accompanied by infinite sadness. Tyler held one side of Jill’s extravagant poster.

  “Tyler, what are you doing?”

  “What?” he answered with a shrug. “I’m just helping.”

  Jill giggled. “Come along, boys.” As she passed, her shoulder bumped Lexi with such force that it nearly spun Lexi all the way around.

  As Lexi stared her down, Jill returned the glare. She saw a glint of evil and arrogance in Jill’s cold return, and Lexi swore under her breath, “This is far from over.”

  “She smells like springtime flowers in bloom while you, Lexi, just plain smell,” Randy said with a snicker as he walked past her.

  “You’re gonna smell blood and dirt if you don’t keep your yap shut,” Lexi warned as she placed her fist close to his mouth.

  Randy smiled his wicked smile and trotted away.

  Lexi made a growling sound as she cracked her knuckles. She did not know if it was her anger or her imagination, but the bug sounds were back.

  “Do you hear that?” she snapped.

  Elle snorted. “Hear what? The sound of everyone kissing Jill’s butt? I sure do.”

  “Not that. It sounds like bugs or crickets or something.” Lexi looked on the far side of a nearby tree and in some bushes.

  Elle listened for a second. She shook her head. “You better get to the ear doctor fast, jack rabbit, because I still don’t hear anything. You’re sure I don’t have a tumor?”

  Lexi searched for the source of her auditory irritation. “I’m sure of it.”

  “Who’s that?”

  She lifted her head and looked across the street. Petr was carrying a bag of groceries and waving at her. “New kid. He just moved in down the street.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me? I tell you everything. He’s cute. Not Channing Tatum cute or Chris Hemsworth cute, but definitely a Liam,” Elle said. “Why isn’t he in school?”

  “He says he’s homeschooled. He’s a total creeper.” Lexi turned and headed for the entrance.

  “But he’s cute, so I say we overlook it. He really likes you, Lexi. Lexi?” When she realized she had been left alone, Elle shouted, “Lexi, wait up. Don’t leave me out here with the weirdo.”

  Chapter Nine

  Human Nature

  “Envy is an insult to oneself.”

  -Yevgeny Yevtushenko

  “The punches just keep coming,” Elle said with absolute disgust. “This must be how Rocky felt when he lost to Cinderella Man.”

  Lexi slowly turned her head to look at her friend. “Those were two different movies.” Lexi shook her head. She was angry, borderline infuriated, but did not want to take it out on her bff.

  “Are you sure?”

  Lexi nodded an affirmative.

  “Who cares? I haven’t seen either of them. My dad watches them. Last night, he watched Gladiator for the ten millionth time. “

  Shaking her head, Lexi said, “And that’s a completely different movie altogether, as well.”

  Ignoring her friend, Elle continued, “He kept going around the house yelling, ‘Are you not entertained?’” Elle raised her fist in the air and boomed a little too loudly, “Are you not entertained?”

  Everyone turned and looked at them. There were multiple mean glares and “shhh’s”.

  “What?” Elle asked innocently.

  The two girls sat in the back of the auditorium with their arms crossed and their lips pursed in anger. Lexi hoped this was another strange dream. Unfortunately, she did not wake up. Not only had they come in second place in the poster competition, but they also lost to Jill, who had less than twenty-four hours to prepare. Making matters worse, during her first prize acceptance speech, Jill informed the audience that she intended to run for class president. Naturally, this was received with raucous applause and whistling.

  Lexi glared at the girl and then at Jill’s poster. Poisoned by jealousy, it coursed through her veins. She was helpless to stop it. Jill’s poster had everything: lights, moving parts, and a television screen that showed a Power Point presentation demonstrating the devastation of soil erosion. Worst of all, it was all set to Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the auditorium, save Lexi and Elle.

  “It had everything except Al Sharpton telling us to get green with it. I guess she
couldn’t fly him in because he was busy saving a rainforest or something?” Elle said sarcastically.

  “I think you mean, Al Gore.”

  Snapping back, Elle replied, “Whoever! Why aren’t you more upset? We were wronged.”

  Lexi held up a hand and said, “Lower your voice.” Some of the kids in front of them were turning around and giving the two girls angry looks. “I am angry,” Lexi promised.

  “What are you looking at? Turn around,” Elle yelled at the kids who were glaring at her and Lexi. In a barely lower voice, she offered, “You aren’t angry enough. That poster clearly violates the rules of the competition.”

  “There were no rules.”

  “Well, then the competition is flawed!”

  This time, Elle spoke so loudly that Assistant Principal Stevens stopped the assembly and asked, “Is there a problem back there?”

  Elle bit her lip and waited until he resumed the awards presentation. “The only problem is up there on the stage with him. I hate her, Lexi.”

  “Me too.”

  “No, I hate her the way Taylor Swift hates all of her exes.”

  “So, you’re going to write a song about her?”

  Elle considered this and then shook her head. “I said I hated her. I didn’t say I was infatuated with her. I’ll deal with her the same way I deal with all the people who are mean to me.”

  “By throwing darts at their yearbook picture?”

  “Exactly.”

  “That seems a little over the top. Besides, didn’t your mom threaten to send you to counseling next time she caught you doing that?”

  “Maybe I need to go to counseling. Did you ever consider that?”

  “All the time,” Lexi answered. In fact, she was considering it at that very moment. She wanted to leave. She had seen and heard enough. When she looked over her shoulder to see the clock behind her, Lexi was surprised to see Cambree Meyers standing in the doorway of the auditorium. Lexi did not care for Cambree because she carried so much sway over the junior high girls.

  Cambree was rich, had above average intelligence, and was pretty, but above all she was popular. And she never hesitated to inform others of these facts. That’s exactly why Lexi was surprised to see her standing in the doorway rather than sitting in her usual seat with all the other phonies in the front row. In fact, Amber and Meghan, Cambree’s two mindless followers, were sitting in the front row cheering Jill’s poster accomplishment, but not Cambree.

  Lexi stared at Cambree for a long moment. There was something off about her. She could go from phony to vengeful in less time than it took to say, “new Prada bag,” but this time, she looked…genuinely mad.

  Lexi elbowed her friend. “Why is Cambree so mad?”

  Elle shrugged. She leaned forward to see where Cambree was sitting, expecting to find her in the front row. Lexi tapped her on the shoulder and pointed toward the back of the auditorium.

  Elle turned around just in time to see Cambree push open the auditorium doors and leave.

  “She’s probably peeved because she lost too. She got third and Cambree Meyers Does. Not. Do. Third. I bet she makes her dad fire whoever he paid to do her poster.”

  Lexi and Elle laughed and bumped each other playfully. When Ira Bernstein turned around, stared angrily, and shushed the girls, Elle immediately stopped laughing, held up her fist, and gave the boy a threatening glare that was more silly than intimidating. The two girls again broke into laughter.

  Chapter Ten

  Missing In Action

  “Be careful going in search of adventure –

  It’s ridiculously easy to find.”

  -William Least Heat-Moon

  During lunch period, Lexi and Elle sat in their usual place in the cafeteria. It was not long before they realized that the cafeteria was not its typical, active, lunch time locale. Not only was no one acting out, it was only about half filled. The cafeteria would usually be overflowing with girls gossiping and boys pulling pranks, not today. Tyler, Chad, and Brady would have already entered. They customarily sat next to Lexi and Elle, and they were never late, especially on taco salad day. Not today.

  “Where is everyone?” Elle asked.

  “I don’t know.” Lexi pushed her taco salad away. “I’m gonna go look for Tyler and the others.”

  Elle, who rarely ate the school food, pushed away sushi she brought from home. “Do you want me to go with you or should we split up?”

  “That’s a good idea,” Lexi answered. “I’ll go to the auditorium and you go to the gym. Meet back here in ten minutes.”

  Elle shook her head. “I would tell you to call me, but since you don’t have a cell phone I guess you could send a carrier pigeon. You really need to get that phone fixed, jack rabbit.”

  “Yea, yea,” Lexi answered. “I’m on it.”

  A long hall led to the auditorium. Only lockers lined the walls and it was absent of windows. When Lexi opened the door, she was surprised to see that no one was in the foyer. Usually a few kids could be found trading anime cards or playing video games on their cell phones, but today there was no one.

  Lexi considered going back out and around the auditorium, but decided to cut through even though the lights were out. On the stage, Lexi could see the glowing lights of Jill’s poster. It was nauseating. She tried to look forward, but her anger kept pulling her head to the left like a rubbernecker at a car wreck. She wanted to destroy the poster almost as much as she wanted to harm Jill.

  Past the auditorium was a small hallway that connected it to the band room. Since Tyler was not in the auditorium, she thought he might be in the band room playing his drums. Although she did not hear any drumming, she continued down the hallway. Just as she reached the door, it opened. Amber and Meghan walked out.

  “Oh, my God, doesn’t she smell heavenly?”

  “I hate her so much. I’m just kidding. I love her. Don’t tell her I said that,” the other replied.

  Meghan nodded her head. “I am totally telling Jill that you hate her.”

  “Meghan, don’t. I was only kidding!” Amber looked as if she was going to start crying.

  The two girls walked past Lexi without so much as a nod or even an acknowledgement of her existence. They seemed completely oblivious to her presence in the hallway.

  “You know I love Jill. She’s the greatest. Please don’t say anything, Meghan,” Amber pleaded. “Meghan!”

  Lexi watched the girls go past her. Their behavior was not peculiar for them. Both were vain and superficial, but what was peculiar was the fact that Cambree, their leader, was nowhere to be found. Cambree Meyers normally did not allow her shallow minions to love another. That would violate mean girl etiquette.

  The band room was dark and empty. When Lexi flipped the light switch, the lights did not come on. She paused at the entrance and stared into the blackness of the span. Something didn’t feel right. Her pulse quickened and she was about to turn around when she heard voices on the far side of the room. There was a door that connected the band room to the outside.

  Lexi walked halfway across the room when the door behind her closed. She froze. Her hands shook uncontrollably. When she saw a pair of beady red eyes and heard the sound of angry crickets, Lexi screamed and sprinted to the door. She grabbed the door handle and flung it open. Not looking where she was going, Lexi tripped and fell down the stairs.

  She spun around, fearful that a giant monster was going to leap out of the band room. Her chest was heaving and she was coated in a cold sweat. It took a moment for her brain to process what happened. To her amazement, nothing followed her through the doorway. She looked around and recognized every boy in school. They were huddled around the old picnic table where Lexi, Elle, and Tyler would have lunch during the warmer months.

  She was about to ask what was going on, when she heard that voice. Her eyes narrowed and her fists clenched. Lexi pushed her way through the pack of boys until she reached the inner circle.

  “Look what I can do,”
Roderick Holmes said as he poorly performed a cartwheel.

  “That is very nice, Roderick,” Jill answered with a gentle clap of her hands and a smile.

  It was not nice. It was stupid and Roderick looked stupid doing it. He was neither athletic nor funny, so Lexi did not know what purpose that cartwheel served. All of the boys were tripping and falling over themselves in cartoon fashion in an attempt to one-up each other. But when she witnessed the next act, she nearly started crying.

  Tyler moved close to Jill, and with a bashful look, he extended his hand. It was full of daisies.

  Lexi listened in horror as Tyler said, “I picked these flowers especially for you, Jill.”

  “They are very pretty, Tyler,” Jill answered as she took the flowers. She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  “I’m gonna pick you some flowers,” Randy proclaimed.

  “Me too!” Alec responded.

  “I’m gonna pick you a million flowers,” Randy announced.

  The two boys were now nose-to-nose, both ready to go to war for the right to pick Jill some flowers. All the other boys were equally obsessed with picking flowers for Jill in an attempt to acquire her favor and thusly a kiss.

  “Tyler, what are you doing?” Lexi pleaded. She wanted to yell, but she could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

  Tyler looked at Lexi with disbelief. “I just wanted to give Jill some flowers.”

  “Hi, Lexi, come sit with me. We should be friends.”

  “I don’t want to be your friend.” She turned her attention to Tyler. “And as for you, I never want to see you again!”

  Jill said, “Lexi, come back.”

  All the boys surrounding her repeated, “Lexi, come back.”

  She could feel the dryness prickling the back of her throat. Come on Lexi, keep it together! Summoning the last ounce of calm she possessed, Lexi whipped open the band room door just moments before she started crying.

  Chapter Eleven

  Tell Tale

  “There are no rules in fights with girls. Just hurting.”