Entomophobia

  -Suzanne Vega

  This day could not get any worse. As she entered the tiny hallway that connected the band room and the auditorium, she could still hear the parroting boys, “Lexi, come back.” As she wiped her eyes and cursed under her breath, she lifted her head and froze. Standing in front of her was Cambree Meyers.

  With her arms crossed and a snooty look on her face, Cambree said, “After all these years, we finally have something in common, a common enemy.”

  Lexi dropped her head and attempted to pass by. Cambree was just a half a step below Jill in the list of people Lexi never wanted to cry in front of.

  Cambree, however, had other ideas. She grabbed Lexi and said, “We need to work together.”

  Lexi yanked her arm away without saying a word. She proceeded toward the auditorium.

  “How much more will you let her take, Lexi? Everything?”

  Emotions played tug-o’-war with her. On one side was anger, and on the other, sadness and betrayal. How could Tyler do that to her? What about what he told her last night about Jill being a drum and Lexi the song? These thoughts only brought more tears, and Lexi looked around for a place to hide. Her pride wouldn’t let anyone see her cry.

  As she made her way through the auditorium, a blinking light came from the stage. Lexi paused and stared at the source of illumination. Although she was not one for hitting things, Lexi’s hands formed fists without receiving the command from their owner.

  She gritted her teeth and made a path to the stage. With all of its flashing lights and blinking bulbs and Power Point and…and…and…everything, Lexi couldn’t take it. Her anger boiled over like water on the stove. Lexi drove her fist into the poster board. After it fell over, she continued her attack. The television screen cracked, and the images clouded with static. She stomped on it again and again and again until it was merely broken glass and exposed components. In a final act of violence, she threw it across the auditorium.

  With her heart pounding, Lexi looked down at the destruction she inflicted.

  “What have I done?” Fearfully, she looked at her trembling hands. “What have I done?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Unpopular

  “Better be alone than in bad company.”

  -Thomas Wolfe

  Lexi was a nervous wreck. The rest of the day, she kept waiting for someone to say something, Assistant Principal Stevens, her classmates, Jill, someone, even though nobody ever did. At one point, she swore she saw Petr standing outside her choir class. She nearly fell off the back of the stage. When she looked again, he wasn’t there. Paranoia was consuming her.

  When Elle asked why she was being so quiet, Lexi told her, “I think I’m getting sick or something.” She could not concentrate. Her mind was an injured hummingbird, flying in a circle. Her paranoia told her that everyone knew what she had done. She felt their eyes staring at her, passing judgment. In her ears, she could hear the beating of her own heart. It told the tale of the crime she had committed.

  She barely spoke during math or history class, and at practice Coach kept saying, “Lexi, you want to join us on planet Earth? The championship game is right around the corner, so it is important that you pay attention.”

  “Sorry, Coach,” she replied, but she could not focus. She could not meet Jill’s eyes, and Lexi’s intuition told her that Jill was constantly looking her way, like a vulture eyeing a dying animal.

  Despite her overwhelming paranoia, the day concluded without a single mention of the destroyed poster board. And that was the worst of it. Lexi actually wished someone had mentioned it. She secretly wanted Assistant Principal Stevens to call her to the office over the intercom, but it never happened. She carried the heavy guilt like a pack mule descending into the Grand Canyon.

  At home, she was equally quiet. She picked at her food and struggled to focus on what her grandmother was saying. Each response was, “Uh huh” or “Um-kay” or “I don’t know”, but there was one comment from her grandmother that caught Lexi’s attention. “What did you say?”

  “I said, ‘This handsome young boy named Petr came by and inquired if I had any odd jobs for him to do.’“

  “What did he do?”

  Her grandmother shrugged. “Nothing that I hadn’t been asking you to do for the past two weeks: pick up the backyard, roll up the hoses, clean up the garden. He also cleaned out some of the gutters, but it was getting late so I told him to come back another time.”

  Lexi appeared interested by this turn of events.

  “He almost wouldn’t let me pay him. Is he new in your class? I hadn’t seen him before, but he definitely knew you. I think he likes you.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  A coy smile appeared on her face. “He asked what kind of things you like to do and if you always walked to school or if you rode the bus. He asked if you were going to be a hypnotist when you grow up like me. I told him you liked it, but probably not that much.”

  Lexi looked away. Why was Petr asking about me?

  After a moment, her grandmother said, “Lexi Marie, tell me what is troubling you, child.”

  Lexi shook her head. “Nothing, Grandmother. I’m just tired.”

  That was not a lie. Lexi was, in fact, tired. She did the dishes, watched television for a spell, then went to bed early, but sleep would not come easily on this night.

  The earth shuddered and dirt crumbled on her head. She coughed and sneezed. Placing a finger to her nose, Lexi futilely attempted to prevent another powerful sneeze. In doing so, she stood still and thusly sneezed twice more.

  “Where am I?” she said softly. She looked around in an attempt to get her bearings, but nothing looked familiar. It was a cave of sorts, poorly lit and dry.

  “Keep moving,” a voice whispered from behind her.

  Before she could turn around, she heard a scratching noise that sounded like a giant cricket rubbing its legs. It was followed by an otherworldly hissing that caused her brain to tingle with fear. The hiss intensified and was followed by the deafening crack of a whip.

  “Please, no,” people begged.

  The cries were coming from somewhere in front of her, but it was too dark to make out any definite objects. She could almost feel their pain.

  “Keep moving,” a voice behind her said in a stern tone. “And don’t look back.”

  She was walking now, but with a quick cock of the head, she asked, “Where are we?”

  He snorted. “Can’t you tell?”

  She studied her environment, best she could. Not much to see. It was dark and seemed to be underground. She could just barely make out…yes, yes, there was someone walking in front of her.

  That failing to tell her what was going on, Lexi took stock of her body. Her hands were bound, she was hungry, and she was very, very tired. She felt as if she had been walking a long time without food, and her wrists chaffed where she was bound.

  “We’re prisoners?”

  Her eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness that she could now make out a long line of people that stretched out ahead of and behind her. She was horrified by what she saw. Tyler, Sasha, Mattie, Memorie, Pelham, Amber, several of her teachers, pretty much everyone she knew, was there. They all walked with their heads down, quietly shuffling their feet as they were lead along the dark, narrow corridor. Everyone was there except her grandmother, whom she could not locate.

  “If you don’t keep moving, we’re all going to get whipped. Is that what you want?”

  She shook her head. “I want to find my grandmother,” she said.

  The boy behind her scoffed. “She’s probably dead, which is what we’ll be if you don’t keep moving.”

  Something rubbed against her feet. It was like something was cutting into her skin, like wearing a tightly laced shoe without any socks. She looked down, but poor lightening allowed zero visibility. She was barefooted. The coarse sand and tiny, jagged rocks of the cave’s floor tore at her feet. She did not need a light to reach that conc
lusion.

  “Where are my shoes?” she whispered as she continued marching.

  “Who knows? None of us have had them in months, years.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They don’t care about shoes. They only care about their precious mines,” the voice said.

  She tried to get a better look at him, but it was too poorly lit. “Who are you?”

  “What does it matter? I’m a slave. I could be a beautiful butterfly, but the universe would never know because I’m stuck in this cocoon phase until I die. Names no longer matter, nothing matters, but if me telling you my name makes you pick up your feet and move along so we don’t get whipped…my name is...”

  Before he could finish his introduction, Lexi recognized the curly, red hair of her friend Mattie in the light of a torch further along the tunnel. “Mattie!”

  Instinctively, Mattie turned around.

  The angry cricket sound returned and was followed by the mind-tingling hiss. “Keep walking!”

  “No! “ Mattie shrieked. “Please, no!”

  A creature, one like nothing Lexi had ever seen, stepped into the light. It stood seven feet tall, had a hard brown shell for skin, and had beady red eyes slanted like a cat’s. The insect overlord grabbed Lexi by the forearm with such force that she was certain her arm was about to snap in half.

  “Ouch!”

  The insect slaver pushed Lexi out of the way as it raised its whip.

  “No! No!”

  Lexi screamed, “I’m sorry! Please, stop.” She watched in horror as the whip snapped across the back of her friend. Mattie shrieked and dropped into the fetal position as the sharp whip came down again and again.

  Lexi yelled and pleaded for the slaver to stop.

  The beady red eyes turned their attention to Lexi. The giant creature stepped toward her. It pulled the whip back and grabbed her. Lexi’s hands instinctively rose to cover her face.

  A voice, familiar and calm, whispered in her ear. “Time is running out, Lexi. Wake up.”

  She awoke in a sweaty fit. Her grandmother opened the door and turned on the lights. “It’s okay. You’re safe, sweetheart. It was just a nightmare.”

  Lexi nodded, but she did not believe it. It was more than just a nightmare. It was the future. She knew it to be real. Lexi could not get the images out of her head. She truly felt as if she had been there. In fact, her left forearm ached. When she rubbed it, she could still feel the pain of where the giant insect grabbed her.

  I’m losing my mind, she thought as her grandmother attempted to comfort her. It was as if she dreamed within her dream, but felt nothing like a dream. Finally, feeling weak and weary, tired of answers that only brought more questions, Lexi arrived at a single conclusion. Stress. I have to confess. She knew she would probably get suspended and miss the championship game, but that was a small price to pay for unloading such a heavy burden of guilt. I have to tell Assistant Principal Stevens.

  Her first dream came after the game as she subconsciously stressed about the championship game and making another game-winning shot. Her next came from the stress of Jill taking her playing time and stealing some of her thunder. And now, the stress of what she had done to Jill’s conservation poster.

  She did not want to go back to school. By now, she was certain Assistant Principal Stevens had discovered the effects of her rage. That’s probably why she had an especially horrible nightmare. She felt embarrassed and ashamed. I have to tell them, she said to herself. I have to come clean.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Everybody Knows

  “The hoopla, the applause, the praises

  have never excited me.”

  -Martin Yan

  Lexi was slow to get ready for school. Like a convict on his way to prison, she was in no hurry to reach her destination. She felt a sadness she rarely experienced, and at any moment she might start crying.

  When she didn’t touch her breakfast, her grandmother asked if she wanted to talk about her nightmare, but Lexi shook her head. She could tell her grandmother wanted to press her on the subject, and yet did not. It was one of her grandmother’s greatest attributes, not forcing the issue.

  The sky was overcast and looked as if it would downpour at any minute. Lexi let out a sigh and started her trek to the corner where the bus stopped. She cut through the alley and made it halfway when she heard it—the sound of insects.

  Lexi looked around everywhere, but could not find the source. Was she going mad? Was there a biblical plague going on that she did not know about?

  Her hands went to her ears. “Stop it! Stop it! Make them stop!”

  Lexi was ready to pull her ears off when she heard someone say, “Lexi?”

  Lexi spun around. Petr stood behind her, and his look of concern made her sizzle with irritation. With her arms crossed over her chest, Lexi took a breath before laying into him but dropped her head instead when the sizzle suddenly vanished. She was so sad, being mean to Petr was impossible. “Why are you here?”

  “I’m going to the store. Thought I might run into you.” He smiled. “You look as if you haven’t slept in weeks. Is everything okay?”

  “Sleep? What’s that? I think I’m losing my mind. I’m hearing sounds that no one else hears. All my friends are becoming friends with a girl I can’t stand and oh yeah, I did something terrible, something I never would have done. Other than that, I’m doing great. How are you?”

  “Whatever you did is done, Lexi. You can’t change the past, but you can affect the future.”

  Lexi stopped. “Why are you so weird, Petr?”

  Petr shook his head and replied. “I don’t think I’m weird, just different. Sounds like you’re different too, Lexi.”

  “Really? I’m different? I’m different? You’re the one asking my grandmother about me. You’re the one standing outside my school. You’re the one who was waiting for me to leave for the bus stop. Sure feels like you’re following me. You’re beyond different, Petr. You’re cuckoo for Cuckoo Puffs.”

  “I think it’s Cocoa Puffs.”

  “Whatever!”

  “And you’re the only one who isn’t friends with this new girl. All the other sheep have flocked to her, but not you. That makes you different.”

  “First off, I’m not a sheep.”

  “You definitely are not a sheep, Lexi.”

  Lexi could feel her blood beginning to boil as thoughts of Jill entered her mind. “And the new girl isn’t a sheep either. She’s more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.”

  “So, what does that make you?”

  Lexi shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’m definitely not a sheep.”

  “Maybe you’re a wolf too, just not the kind that hunts sheep. Maybe you hunt something more challenging, like other wolves.”

  “What?” Lexi noticed all the color disappear from his face, as if he had seen a ghost. “You are acting strange, even for you.” He was looking past her, over her shoulder. Lexi turned around and saw Petr’s brother standing down the road behind them. He was enormous. His arms were crossed and his blood red eyes glared at them.

  “I...uh, need to...I got to go.”

  Lexi nodded. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the giant man behind her with the angry red eyes. They were unnatural, like fire in a wolf’s eyes, but he was no wolf, at least not in the literal sense. One thing Lexi was certain of, there was nothing normal at the large man. Her mind promised her, it was no trick, but she no longer believed anything. Even herself.

  She walked swiftly to the bus stop, checking behind her multiple times. Waiting there were the Colby twins, Michael Boyington, and Lisa Weatherford. The twins lived three doors down and their mother always walked them to the bus stop. They were in the third grade and super-cute boys with blond hair and blue eyes. Each wore matching raincoats and galoshes.

  Michael was Lexi’s age. He was a talkative kid who hung out with his three friends: Donnie, Abe, and Aiden. Lexi did not mind talking to him, but he usually steere
d the conversation toward Star Wars, comic books, or video games, none of which Lexi cared about, especially not today.

  Lisa was Lexi’s age too. She lived two doors down, and when they were younger the two girls used to play together a lot, but not so much anymore. Lexi played sports and Lisa took dance classes four nights a week. She never seemed to be home. Lisa was very skinny, and the only things she ever talked about was her weight, Dancing with the Stars, or going to Paris to be a professional dancer. Lexi, however, almost never watched television and cared very little for ballet.

  She was surprised to hear Michael and Lisa talking when she arrived. Lisa usually referred to Michael as “Lord of the Geeks” or “Star Warts,” yet today she was engaging him in conversation.

  As Lexi approached, Lisa said, “And she’s so smart. I wish I was half as smart as her.”

  Michael nodded so hard Lexi thought his head might pop off. “She is super smart. Just listening to her talk makes me smarter too.”

  “I know!” Lisa added excitedly.

  Lexi scratched her head. She could not figure who they were speaking of.

  “Do you know this girl?” Mrs. Colby asked.

  “Who?”

  “This new girl, Jill. She sounds wonderful.”

  Lexi bit her lip and squinted her eyes into an angry glare. The skin on her nose crinkled like a Wavy Lay’s potato chip. “No,” she said. “I don’t know who she is.” Lexi normally did not lie, but she was not interested in speaking about her most hated subject…Jill.

  Once they got on the bus, Lexi’s anger turned to contempt. Everyone, even Mr. Manuel, the bus driver, was talking about Jill. “I heard she’s scheduled to be the youngest Miss America contestant ever,” one girl said.

  “My cousin said she’s been to the White House twice to get special awards,” Lisa said to a girl sitting next to Lexi.

  Lexi couldn’t believe the nonsensical comments regarding a girl who had been in school exactly two days. “Oh, yeah?” she asked. “What awards did she win?”

  Lisa was taken aback by Lexi’s line of questioning. With a snarl on her face, the girl barked, “You’re just mad ‘cause Jill is a better basketball player than you will ever be and you know it.” She turned around, refusing to engage Lexi in further conversation.