Lost & Found Innocence
Chapter 5
David has remarried. Quietly.
I’m told she looks a lot like me and they’re expecting their first baby.
You wonder how I know? Ruth told me.
HNN Human News Network alias Ruth. We should be grateful she sticks to the human network. The way I see it, she’s capable of putting Cable out of business.
Something Natalie said the other time. I was so struck by its poignancy, I decided to write it down and share with others at tea.
What I wrote, Natalie’s words, went like this, ‘We learn of other people’s lives and wonder at their waste, then proceed to do and experience exactly the same of our own.”
Beautiful words.
Like this undated note from David from the papers I’m sending to the waste collectors. No point in keeping them now. They should have moved out the day he did:-
Lisa,
About Mars and Venus, I thought we agreed to share Earth’s sorrow and joy and not have to travel to outer space to find each other. You’re supposed to give me the number where I can reach you on Neptune.
Me.
Another.
Lisa,
When I proposed to you, I was not sure of my intentions, I’m now. Would you care to join me for Dinner so that I can tell you exactly what they’re?
Me.
Yet another.
Lisa,
There was a David who fell in love with a girl named Lisa - plus her eyes. The David would like to know if the Lisa is still in the girl. How about I take her eyes for a date tonight?
Me.
Natalie is visiting again. And she is sick.
Those big beautiful eyes look vacant, listless, shifty and suspicious in the pale and wan face.
Nat shies away from physical contact. She chants – coherently at first, then you lose her.
I gave her a glass of water. Nat took the glass of water in her hand and, and, and...
The paleness of ill health accentuates the tinge of Nat’s skin and Natalie looks the most beautiful I’ve ever seen her, and quite utterly mad.
In the few lucid moments, Nat remembers names. I believe it’s the thinking process, the idea of trying to form a full coherent thought that keeps unhinging her.
Nat has lost weight. Her mouth is patched dry bits of skin flake off. The lip balms have no effect.
My doctor has been administering tranquilizers. I’m glad to say Natalie is responding well. She’s sleeping as I write this.
David sent for Hugh. He would not come to collect the boy himself.
They do that, the ones who leave. First they send for the children, then they send stuff for the children, then they stop sending and finally you ask the courts to remind them.
Hugh was excited. The boy wanted to see his father. Maybe away from here the two will be able to spend time together.
I want not to worry about Hugh at his father’s. I keep asking myself if he’s warm, if anyone has said a kind word to him. I hope I’m doing the right thing by Hugh.
It’s not that David worries me, its just that with a new spouse, sometimes people become overzealous, and force things on people who are not ready to cope.
Most children who find themselves bogged in their parents’ divorces start off excited like Hugh here, only to have expectations dashed.
The price has to be paid.
Then these children turn into multifaceted personalities - different dances for different adults.
The smart children buy the remote with the parents’ conscience, the currency - guilt.
They then use the remote mercilessly until it spirals into adulthood and a whole new generation of Jacobs and Jacobines is born.
Mr. Alexander enters with someone very close behind him.
Me: “Ruth! What, what a pleasant surprise.”
Ruth: “Surprise my foot! Why didn’t you tell me that David got temporary custody of Hugh?”
Me: “I beg your pardon? Honestly Ruth? David sent for Hugh. Sent for him. Surely you know he’s entitled to see the boy too. That’s all. Thank you Mr. Alexander.”
Ruth: “So why was David awarded temporary custody for Hugh in court?”
Me: “Ruth, I don’t know anything about a court case for Hugh’s custody.”
Ruth: “You mean you agreed to let David take Hugh before the courts made a ruling?”
Me: “Ruth, what exactly are you talking about?”
Ruth: “Verifying. You’re still my friend, or I would like to assume so since I now get information concerning you from hostile quarters.”
Me: “Look Ruth, if you know something I don’t, please tell me.”
Ruth: “Play dumb all you like. It’s after all, your prerogative. But the way I hear it, you’re a neurotic nympho posing as a responsible parent.
Cited, Graham and Jacob. Papers filed and Hugh is with the father who was awarded temporary custody pending final court ruling, which ruling will most likely be in David’s favour.
Ran into them yesterday, Hugh, brand new and questionable sister, new mother and same old David. One big and not very happy family.”
Me: “When did you hear about the papers Ruth?”
Ruth: “I thought me being your friend would at least entitle me to hear it from your mouth.”
Ruth: “Who told you Ruth?”
Ruth: “Next time, you tell me. Bye.”
Human News Network alias Ruth, more reliable than Cable.
I just received the court papers.
It appears, David now wants Hugh for himself, for keeps. I’m, in the filed papers, described as a neurotic nymphomaniac posing as a responsible parent.
Also cited, are Graham and Jacob. Papers filed. Temporary custody order, granted, uncontested, to David.
The Ruths of this world get to know about what affects you long before you do.
You don’t believe them, just like you know the lawyer, your own that is, is lying when he says he just got the papers which were in fact, served two months ago.
There’s a date stamp here that says so.
Probably stamped by David’s new and smart lawyer. No mistakes with that one, oh no.
That’s how you get to know of the temporary order placing Hugh in David’s care. The uncontested one, that’s.
How fast the wheels of justice move when they move against you. Please excuse me.
I suddenly need to hear and not see.
Light from a house that’s a Family,
“Hey, what’s happened to our lives, when did you and me forget how to have a good time? … Who says you can’t be happy all the time? I know, but I’m still gonna try. ….Why don’t you and me, go and have a good time?…”
David and me - dancing in the kitchen. The two of us splashing soap suds at each other in the shower.
David and I making love in the fields, out in the sun.
A smiling and relieved, David holding my hand with one hand and Hugh with the other the day Hugh was born.
David, showing me the ground where we would build our house. The three of us, planting apple trees in the orchard.
David, holding Hugh steady the day he bought him his first bicycle.
Such small things. Such ordinary and common place little, little things.
Trish is here.
She brought home made scones, with strawberry jam and fresh cream, the way I like them.
Did I tell you?
Trish has a very high profile management job. She’s very, very good at it.
I phoned Hope, when I heard David had remarried on the quiet, and after Ruth told me about the court issue concerning Hugh.
I consider Hope to be the best of my buddies and frankly, I needed to talk.
You do that when the man who has left you, whom you consider to be trying to find his way back to you, is suddenly said to have married, someone else. Quietly.
I needed Hope.
You see, of all my friends, it’s Hope I
feel closest to. She really counts on me.
Like the time she had the abortion. Or the time her brother was arrested. Or the time she needed to borrow my car.
I got angry that time, when Hope borrowed my car. It was because David saw a strange young man driving it but when Hope explained that he was one of her buddies and needed to use the car for an emergency, and as her car was being serviced at the time, I understood.
David didn’t. He was livid.
Men don’t understand some of these things. Friendship, or being there for the other. It’s not the same as sharing a pint of beer while discussing a game of football. It’s just not the same.
Hope can get very, very busy, like now. My number keeps getting the unreachable signal.
Talking of friends, here comes Human News Network Ruth, on the spot and right on cue.
How does she do it?
Could there be a conspiracy among the world’s most annoying friends that the rest of us don’t know about?
How does Ruth manage to pitch up when she will most annoy me and then manage to extricate herself when I want information from her without her having supplied it?
If I think that I’m at the nadir of my depression, that becomes an apex if Ruth has anything to do with it. Ruth is my friend, a close one too.
Ruth: “Thought it was your car in the driveway Trish. When are they going to give you the Merc?”
Trish: “How many times do I have to tell you that they already did?”
Ruth: “Seeing is believing. I haven’t seen it yet, so where is it?”
Trish: “I didn’t take the car.”
Ruth: “Why not? Did the Merc have problems?”
Trish: “No Ruth. Tom and I prefer the Honda.”
Ruth: “Hold a second. I want to get this right. Trish? Are you telling me that you turned down a Merc because Tom prefers the Honda?”
Trish: “That’s right. I don’t see what is so difficult to understand.”
Ruth: “I thought it was your job and the car was offered to you. You Trish and not Tom.”
Trish: “Tom is my husband.”
Ruth: “And the Merc is your perquisite. It has nothing to do with Tom.”
Trish: “Tom views things a certain way Ruth. Anyway, the decision has already been made. There are some things you cannot possibly understand.”
Ruth: “Listen to yourself Trish. You sound sick. Did you hear that Lisa? Tell her. She listens to you!
Tell her to dump Tom. Tell the woman there’s life after David.”
Me: “Hie Ruthie”.
Ruth: “Ruth, Lisa. Ruth, never Ruthie. Don’t be mad at me for telling you about David. Someone had to.”
Me: “At lunch time, in a crowded restaurant, in a voice loud enough for your workmates to hear?”
Ruth: “It was a free country last time I checked. Besides I didn’t know that I would bump into you there.
You didn’t tell me about Hugh. I had to hear about my friend’s son from other people’s friends, the new Mrs. David’s friends, of all people. So that makes us even!”
Trish: “What are you two talking about? Tell you what about Hugh, Ruth?”
Ruth: “So she didn’t tell you either, and we are supposed to be her friends!”
I get up, get the papers from the lawyer and hand them over.
Ruth: “It’s her alright. She would start something like this.” Ruth says before even reading the papers.
Me: “You don’t know that for a fact.”
Ruth: “What fact Lisa. We all know that they do this, the ones who take over, to consolidate their positions.”
Me: “You never married, so how would you know?”
Ruth: “Same as anyone with sense. The woman makes David take Hugh because she wants to get you out of this house and take the car and every little bit of furniture too while she’s at it.”
Me: “You think the worst about people. I don’t know her and she doesn’t know me. What reason could she possibly have to want to hurt me?”
Ruth: “To make sure you get exterminated, or terminated. No surprise of baby come back in the future.”
Me: “It could be David. I think it’s David.”
Trish: “I will say this much. If it’s David, this is something I didn’t expect from him. What does your lawyer say?”
Me: “He’s trying to do something”.
Ruth: “A bit late now if you ask me. This date stamp is two months old.”
Trish: “That’s true Lisa. Why didn’t you go and see your lawyer to contest the custody when you got the papers. Don’t you want Hugh?”
Me: “First I heard about it was from Ruth here. The papers came yesterday.”
Trish: “And this stamp is David’s lawyer’s which means that the papers were sent to your lawyer two months ago.
Normally, they make the person who receives the papers sign for them, and weren’t you supposed to get a copy too?”
Me: “My copy and my lawyer’s were served to the lawyer’s office. He says he received the papers last week.”
Trish: “That man is not telling the truth. He sat on the papers. Where is Hugh? Does he know about this? Do you want me to talk to him?”
Me: “Hugh is already with his father. David sent for him two weeks ago.”
Trish: “I see. According to this, the temporary custody order had already been granted.”
Ruth: “Uncontested.”
Me: “When David sent for Hugh, he probably thought I knew.”
Ruth: “And it was alright with you.”
Trish: “Have you tried to talk to David, find out from him what is really going on?”
Me: “No. Not yet. I need to think first. I would not want to do anything that would hurt David.”
Ruth: “Excuse me? The man walks out on you, takes your car, your child and heavens knows what else he wants before he’s through with you.”
Me: “Ruth please …
Ruth: “What was it the other time? The love of your life, Graham, Graham this. Graham that, and there’s Jacob the reserve for good measure, yet you don’t want to hurt David?
This is rich. Listen here and listen good Lisa. Tell your lawyer to get up from resting his behind. If he doesn’t know what to do, fire him, just say the word and I will get you one who does! ”
Me: “Ruth, ten years of marriage is a long time.”
Ruth: “So is five minutes of my time. I didn’t come here to discuss marriage wakes. In my part of town they do that at events called dinner parties; that’s why I never attend. Now, what is this I hear about Natalie? Is it true that she has gone nutty?”
Trish: “Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?”
Ruth: “Tea? Now? Trish, Are you confusing me with someone?”
Trish: “It’s too early to drink.”
Ruth: “Too late for you, you mean?”
Trish: “I should get going. There’s something I meant to show both of you. It’s at the office. Are you staying long Ruth? ”
Ruth: “I was going to visit for all of fifteen minutes but seeing I’ve wasted five of my precious minutes associating with Lisa’s dumpy and self-sacrificing mood, I better go see a man.
Talking about the invisible one, you two will never guess who I saw having lunch today”
Me: “David and his new wife?”
Ruth: “Oh no. Better! Our very own Hope with Lisa’s toy boy, Jacob!”
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