The Stories of the Three Burglars

extry.' Thegent looked pretty glum, for he was to sail the next day, and if Ididn't do the job for him he didn't know who would, and he said that hewas sorry to see that I was goin' back on him after the recommend I'dhad, and I said that I wouldn't go back on him if it wasn't for myconscience. I was ready to do any common piece of business, but thisstealin' away little gals from lovin' mothers was a leetle too much forme. 'Well,' says he, 'there ain't no time to be lost, and how much morewill satisfy your conscience?' When I said a hundred dollars, we struckthe bargain.

  "Well, we cut and dried that business pretty straight. I took a cab andwent out to the school, and the gent he got the key of a house that wasto let about three miles from the school, and he was to stay there andlook at that empty house until I brought him the gal, when he was to payme and take her away. I'd like to have had more time, so that I could goout and see how the land laid, but there wasn't no more time, and I hadto do the best I could. The gent told me they all went a walkin' everyafternoon, and that if I laid low that would be the best time to gether, and I must just fetch her along, no matter who hollered.

  "I didn't know exactly how I was going to manage it, but I took alongwith me a big bag that was made for the conveyance of an extinctmillionaire, but which had never been used, owin' to beforehandarrangements which had been made with the party's family.

  "I left the cab behind a bit of woods, not far from the school, and thenI laid low, and pretty soon I seed 'em all coming out, in a double line,with the teacher behind 'em, for a walk. I had a description of thelittle gal as was wanted, and as they come nearer I made her out easy.She was the only real light-haired one in the lot. I hid behind somebushes in the side of the road, and when they come up, and thelight-haired little gal was just opposite to me, I jumped out of thebushes and made a dash at her. Whoop! what a row there was in onesecond! Such a screamin' and screechin' of gals, such a pilin' on topeach other, and the teacher on top the whole of 'em, bangin' with herumbrella; they pulled at the gal and they pulled at me, an' they yelledand they howled, and I never was in such a row and hope I never shall beagain, and I grabbed that girl by her frock, and I tumbled some over oneway and some another, and I got the umbrella over my head, but I didn'tmind it, and I clapped that bag over the little gal, and I jerked, upher feet and let her slip into it, and then I took her up like a bag ofmeal, and put across the field, with the whole kit and boodle after me.But I guess most of 'em must have tumbled down in hysterics, judgin'from the screechin', and I got up to the cab and away we went. Well,when we got to the house where I was to meet the gent, he began straightoff to blow at me. 'What do you mean,' he yelled, 'bringin' my daughterin a bag?'--'It's the only way to do it, sir,' says I; 'they can'tholler and they can't kick, and people passin' by don't know what you'vegot,' and so sayin' I untied the strings, put the little gal on herfeet, and pulled off the bag, and then I'd be hanged if I ever saw a manso ragin' mad as he was. 'What do I want with that gal?' he cried;'that's not my daughter. That girl's hair is as black as a coal, andshe's a Jew besides.' As soon as I sot my eyes on the little varmint itcome over me that I got the thing crooked, and in the scrimmage I let goof the right gal and grabbed another.

  "I don't see how a man could help makin' mistakes with thatschool-teacher's umbrella whanging away at his knowledge box, but Iwasn't goin' to let on. 'She ain't no Jew, nuther,' says I, 'and she'syour daughter, too; you needn't try to play no tricks on me. Pay me mymoney and take her away as quick as you can, that's my advice, or beforeyou know it you'll be nabbed.'--'Pay ye!' he yelled; 'do you think I'dpay you anything for that little Jew?'--'She's just as much a Christianas you are,' says I. 'Ain't you a Christian, little gal? and is'nt thisgentleman your father? and ain't you surprised that he wants to give youback to be put in the bag?' I said this hopin' she'd have sense enoughto say he was her father so's to get rid of me.

  "The wretched gal had been clean dumbfounded when she was took out ofthe bag, and hadn't done nothin' so far but blubber and cry, and try toget away, which she couldn't, because I held her frock; but now she upsand screams he wasn't her father, and she'd never seen him before, andthen he storms and swears, and tells me to take her back where I gother, and I tell him I'll see him hanged first, and what I want is mymoney; she screams, and he swears he'll not pay me a cent, and I squaresoff and says that I'll thrash him out of his skin, and then he calls inhis coachman, and they both make at me, and I backs out the door to getmy cabby to stand by me, and I found that he'd cut out, havin' mostlikely got frightened, afraid of bein' mixed up in trouble. Then I seedon the high road, some half a mile away, some men comin' gallopin', andthe gent he looked out and seed 'em, too, and then says he to me,'You'll jist take that little Jew gal back where you got her from; she'sno use to me; I'm goin';' and at that I hollered for my money, and madea grab at him, but the coachman he tripped me over backward, and beforeI could git up again they was both off with the horses on a run.

  "I was so mad I couldn't speak, but there wasn't no time for foolin',and I hadn't made up my mind which door I should cut out of, when thefellows on horseback went ridin' past as hard as they could go. Theymust have seed the carriage drivin' away, and thought for sure it hadthe gal in it, and they was after it, lickety-split.

  "When they was clean gone I looked round for the little gal, butcouldn't see her, but all a-sudden she came out of the fireplace, whereshe'd been hidin'. She'd got over her cryin', and over her scare, too,judgin' from her looks. 'I'm glad he's gone,' says she, 'and I'm mightyglad, too, that Mr. Haskins and them other men didn't see me.'--'Who'sthey?' says I.--'They's neighbors,' says she;' if they knew I was herethey'd took me back.'--'Well, you little minx,' say I, 'isn't that whatyou want?'--'No,' says she. 'I didn't want to go with that man, for Idon't know him, and I hate him, but I don't want to go back to thatschool. I hate it worse than anything in the whole world. You haven't noidea what a horrid place it is. They just work you to death, and don'tgive you half enough to eat. My constitution won't stand it. I've toldPop that, and he thinks so too, but Marm, she don't believe in it, andmy stayin' there is all her doin'. I've been wantin' to get away forever so long, but I didn't want to be took off in a bag; but now thatI'm out of that horrid hole I don't want to go back, and if you'll takeme home to Pop, I know he won't let me go back, and he'll pay you realhandsome besides.'--'Who's your Pop?' says I.--'He's Mr. Groppeltacker,of Groppeltacker & Mintz, corset findings, seven hundred and somethingor other, I forget the number now, Broadway. Oh, Pop does a lot ofbusiness, I tell you, and he's got lots of money. He sends corsetfindings to South America, and Paris, and Chicago, and Madagascar, andthe uttermost parts of the earth. I've heard him say that often, and youneedn't be afraid of his not bein' able to pay you. A lot more than thatman would have paid you for his little gal, if you'd catched the rightone. So if you take me to Pop, and get me there safe and sound, it willbe an awful good speck for you.'

  "Now, I begins to think to myself that perhaps there was somethin' inwhat that little Jew gal was sayin', and that I might make something outof the gal after all. I didn't count on gettin' a big pile out of oldGroppeltacker,--it wasn't likely he was that kind of a man,--butwhatever I did get would be clean profit, and I might as well try it on.He couldn't make no charge ag'in me fur bringin' him his daughter, ifshe asked me to do it; so says I to her, 'Now, if I take you home toyour Pop, will you promise on your word an' honour, that you won't saynothin' about my carryin' you off in a bag, and say that you seed mewalkin' along the road and liked my looks, and told me you weresufferin', and asked me to take you home to your kind parents, where youmight be took proper care of; and that I said I wasn't goin' that way,but I'd do it out of pure Christian charity, and nothin' more nor less,and here you was? And then, of course, you can tell him he ought to dothe handsome thing by me.'--'I'll do that,' says she, 'and I tell howyou talked to me awful kind for more than an hour, tryin' to keep me tostay at the school, and it wasn't till I got down on my knees and weepedthat you agreed to take me to my kind father.'--'All