Judged Love

  “Did you still want that coffee?” Annabelle was sending up prayers that he would say yes.

  “Only if you still want me to stay after everything I have just said.” He was thanking god that he didn’t mess up such a great day. She turned to head into the house and waved him forward to follow her. She just had to not do anything else stupid before the evening ended to ruin such a perfect day. She was surprised that he still wanted to be with her after the way she acted.

  They spent a five hours drinking coffee and talking in Annabelle’s living room before Ben realized it was getting late. Suddenly he said, “Crap what time is it?”

  “Um it’s ten why?”

  “Crap I missed tucking Benny in for the night. I was supposed to be home hours ago.” Ben stood off the couch to grab his cell from his back pocket and saw there were no missed calls from his dad asking where he was. Ben thought that was weird cause he is never out this late except Wednesdays so why isn’t his dad wondering where he was. All he told him was he would be back when he left that afternoon.

  “Sorry I kept you out so late. Maybe next time we should be at your house so you don’t miss bed time.” Ben looked at her with a surprised look because he was truly surprised that she said next time and the fact she was thinking of Benny. “What don’t look at me like that? Half of what you told me tonight included Benny and I can tell he is an important part of your life as he should be. Besides I think the little guy has a crush on me.”

  Ben leaned down over her pinning her on the couch to whisper in her ear, “Not as much as his dad.” He then brushed his lips in a light kiss near her ear and then stood up. “Well I better leave. I’ll be at the ranch all day tomorrow if you would like to come out. Sorry but I have to finish the work I left from today tomorrow.”

  “I’d love to but I usually go to church Saturday nights since I work Sunday.”

  Ben was upset for a moment then had a thought, “why not bring a change of clothes with you and you can clean up at the house and then all of us can go with you. Of course if you don’t mind having us go with you. Crap rambling again how ‘bout if you want to just show up and to let me know. I’ll just go now before I make more of a fool of myself. Good night Belle.” Ben then walked to the door and left for the night.

  Annabelle wasn’t sure if she wanted to share church with Ben yet but it did sound really good. She knew if she showed up with Ben she would have a lot of questions to answer from Mary. Every Saturday was the same thing for her and Mary meet at church to finish out another week. She needed to talk to Mary but was it to late she texted Mary to see if she got a response. She didn’t have to wait too long because her phone was ringing. Mary said she went out tonight and was pretty close and would just swing by.

  Annabelle didn’t have to wait too long for Mary to show up and then Annabelle had to give her a recap of the day and night with Ben. After she was done with her recap all Mary could say was “you mean to tell me you spent the entire day with him and you didn’t even get a real kiss? What is wrong with that boy? How could he not even give you a real good night kiss? Then all he does was to invite you out to the ranch to spend the day working with him.”

  Annabelle thought about what Mary said but at least she didn’t think he only wants her there to work. “Well, tell me should I go and then have him and Benny come to church with me? And what the heck do I wear to church?” She started to twirl a strand of hair on her finger. Mary looked at her while she was twirling her hair and then got a big smile.

  Mary slowly answered all her questions. “Well you could probably wear a burlap sack and he would still call you beautiful and sure you should bring him. You do realize you are twirling your hair which means only one thing. You do really like him!” Mary was so excited about it she ended up spending the night with Annabelle.

  ~

  Ben couldn’t get the sweet smell of vanilla out of his thoughts the exact soft smell of Annabelle. He had to run away from her before he wanted to take her in his arms and never let go of her. All he could do was pray she would show up tomorrow and hopefully he didn’t make a fool of himself. He already knew he was going to have dreams of Annabelle all night long but he would enjoy each of them.

  Chapter 6

  Saturday morning came too early for Ben after him getting to bed well after midnight and then dreaming of Annabelle all night. Went to the kitchen to get his morning coffee and headed out the back porch to watch the sun come up. To his surprise his dad was already out on the porch with his morning cup. Ben almost dropped his coffee and then quickly recovered to talk to his dad but his dad spoke first. “Ben, sit and join me.” After Ben had sat Senior continued. “How was your day with Annabelle?”

  Ben was startled that he was starting with that. They had a rule between themselves that each other’s personal life was personal and the other wouldn’t get involved. He finally had to respond to senior. “Well it was good and we got to get to know each other. “ Ben took a deep breath readying himself for what his father had in mind because he had the feeling this wasn’t going to end very well. “Alright Dad just ask what you really want to know.” He knew he sounded shorter than he really wanted to.

  “Hey don’t get an attitude with me. I was enjoying the morning air and you joined me remember. But since you asked have you thought how she is going to feel about Benny. You do realize most women don’t enjoy raising somebody else’s kid.” Crap Ben realized he hadn’t thought about how she would be with Benny but it’s not like she was moving in today.

  “No Dad I haven’t thought of that. Besides we only spent one day together to see if we are even compatible and that’s it so far. How was she with him when she was over here the other day?” Senior thought about his question for a minute before answering.

  “Well to be honest I have never seen a woman act the way she did. Everything Benny did she took it in strides and was patient with he. She even gave him a hug when he came running around the corner and ran to her. Most women don’t act like a child she doesn’t know deserves to have a hug at their level when she sees them.” Senior took a drink of his coffee to give Ben time to think of what he said. “But I want to know what is with the spiked collars she wears and what is the rest of that tattoo on her back?”

  “You and me both, Dad. She didn’t tell me about her tattoos but yesterday I noticed she has a small frog on her ankle as well. Trust me she pulled at my heart in ways Veronica never did. Why the hell do I keep comparing the two?” He was getting angry with himself because he loved Veronica and with each new thing he learned about Annabelle he compared the two.

  “Do yourself a favor son treat each woman separate? Veronica was a good woman for you when she was here but to be honest I never thought she was your soul mate. You two just didn’t seem to have the love your mom and I had. You only get to find that type of love once and when you have it hold onto it with both hands.” With that final statement Senior dumped the rest of his coffee in the grass and went in the house.

  Ben had a lot of thinking to do today but he needed to get his work done today which included checking the fence line. He figured he better get a move on if he was going to get anything done today so he went to get the day started. He sent up a silent pray before heading inside of “Lord gives me the strength and the wisdom to see what your plans are and to except what you want not what I want.’

  ~

  Annabelle woke the next morning long after the sun come up which wasn’t surprising because her and Mary stayed up till past three am talking. After she finally went to sleep all she dreamed about was holding on to Ben. She decided she would go out to his ranch and spend the day with him and Benny. She wasn’t sure of what she was getting herself into because she had never worked on a ranch and didn’t know how much work there was but at least she knew how to ride a horse. What was she going to do about the way she was feeling for Ben and how was everyone out at the ranch going to treat her. No matter what she wore out there she would never look like she
belonged there. So she decided to get it over with and put on her favorite jeans, her black spaghetti strap tank top with denim over shirt left unbuttoned and her heeled boots. She decided to pull her hair back in a ponytail instead of braiding it. She got her dress and shoes for tonight ready and then she figured she better grab a matching set of under garments for tonight in case she needs to take a shower out there.

  She decided to drive her little Dakota pickup out there instead of her bike even though it was a perfect day for a ride. The sun was shining down on the valley and there were clouds hanging around the tops. She knew today would be a beautiful day, hopefully everything went great.

  When she pulled up to Ben’s house she saw Senior holding on to Benny’s shirt keeping him from running in front of her truck. Once she was out of the pickup Senior let go and Benny took off like a streak of light heading straight at her. She was surprised about the fact that Benny was this excited to see her she started to wonder what Ben had said to him about her. She was brought out of her thoughts by Benny yelling at her in a voice that only a four year old make the high pitched with all his happiness behind it. “BELLS BELLS BELLS, you came!” He ran straight to her and she scooped down to pick him up in to a bear hug.

  “Benny sweet pea what are you doing today?” She placed a kiss on his forehead.

  “We get to ride to Daddy! Come.” Benny said while wiggling to get down. “Come Bell Pa and I got you a horse.” She looked over at Senior.

  “Ben is down at the river working on some fence line I had a picnic lunch for the three of you. And yes Benny and I saddled up a horse for you. She is a gentle one sorry we weren’t sure how your riding skills are.” Senior started to look away with embarrassment.

  “I actually am pretty good on a horse but is there some place I can put my things?” She asked Senior not sure how much Ben had told him about the plans that were never actually made. “I brought my church clothes with me and I need to hang up my dress.”

  “Oh um I guess I could put them in the house for you. Then you and Benny could head down to Ben.” With that he took the bags from her and handed her the packed basket of food. Senior turned and headed into the house to take care of her belongings for her.

  “Well Benny you ready to head down to your dad?” He ran ahead of her to the corals where his pony and a chestnut mare were waiting for them. She was a little worried about riding away from the house with Benny and not having anyone else with them but she figured if Senior was telling her to take Benny down to his dad then everything should be alight. “Benny how far away is your dad?”

  “He’s close. Bells are you going to be my mommy?” Benny had completely thrown her a curve ball with that one she didn’t know how to answer such an innocent question. So of course she went in a different direction than the one he was leading with that question.

  “Are you ready? And what’s this girl’s name?”

  “Molly.” That was his only answer before getting on his pony and turning in the direction of his dad. “Ok this way.” And he was off as soon as she was on her horse. They headed away from the house towards the river once they cleared the hill near the river she saw the most beautiful site she had ever seen. A herd of wild mustangs were along the river leading their young to the place to cross the river. The horses were so beautiful in their wild beauty she didn’t hear Benny talking to her. “Dad is over there.” She looked to see where he was pointing and could see a cluster of trees by the river and sure enough Ben was over there working on his fence. She couldn’t draw her eyes from him he looked just like the first time she had seen him out here with Mary. He of course had on his jeans riding low on his hips, his cowboy boots, and didn’t have on a shirt. God he looked really good in his element on the ranch. She started to get a little nervous because she didn’t know if she could belong here.

  ~

  Ben looked up from his fence to see the most beautiful site he had ever seen. Annabelle and his son riding toward him, he was completely surprised that she came today. She looked beautiful today in her jeans, button up shirt undone and her hair pulled back. Of course she had on her favorite jewelry but he didn’t mind it anymore it was who she was. He had to draw his eyes away from her to make sure his son was alright and Benny had the largest smile on his face. Ben was a little jealous because he has never gotten a smile that big from his son, but if he was riding with Annabelle he probably would have the same size grin on his face. He looked back over at Annabelle and saw she also had a smile on her face like she was happy to at his home. Then Benny got his attention, “Daddy, Bells came and pa packed lunch.”

  “Benny son her name is Annabelle.” He said to correct him when Benny got off his pony and dropped the reigns. Annabelle surprised him the most with her response to what he said.

  “It’s fine he can call me whatever he likes.” She smiled down at Benny and then quickly regretted what she said.

  “Ok mommy.” Benny said before running off to go play. Ben’s mouth dropped open and Annabelle blushed to her toes.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t mean for him to get the idea that I 'ment that.” She didn’t know of anything to say so she started get the basket off the horse to set it out and see what Senior sent for them.

  “What did you mean? I wonder where he got that idea.” Ben was talking to himself in wonder of what his son said. The strangest thing is he had only met Annabelle and Benny wanted her as his mom.

  “I ‘ment if he is comfortable calling me Bells it was fine and before we left the house he asked if I was going to be his mommy. I didn’t know how to answer him so I didn’t and then I just opened a new can by telling him he could call me whatever he liked. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make your job even harder trying to explain me to him.” She gave up trying to explain things so she started to dig in the basket of food.

  “I’ll deal. Just so you know you have been the most beautiful site I have seen this morning.” He came up behind he to place his arms around her waist for a hug. He smelled her vanilla sent first and it drew him in closer. The moment he realized what he was doing his arms were around her waist and she was leaning back into him. Her head was leaning to one side to give him access to her neck so he laid soft kisses along her jaw. He then whispered in her ear, “Sorry I didn’t mean to.”

  “Don’t.” was all she could say to him and she placed her hands over his on her stomach. She loved the way his arms felt around her and the feel of him behind her. She felt the safest in her life in this moment. She shook herself mentally what Love where did that come from she has only known Ben a few days. She closed her eyes and sent a pray, ‘Lord give me the strength here.’

  They enjoyed their lunch of cold fried chicken, potato salad and root beers. They almost acted like they were a family together eating on the ranch under the trees. Ben was startled to be thinking that they were a family already they all barely knew each other. He could see in his mind the three of them doing this more in the future but first Annabelle needed to trust him. Ben finished the fence after lunch while Annabelle entertained Benny down by the river. Once he was done fixing the fence he walked over to the two of them and watched them for a minute and realized that Benny wasn’t going to be a problem for her. After one afternoon with him she treated he wonderful almost like he was her child. She made sure to be patient with him and she only got upset with him when he got too close to the river and she didn’t feel it was safe for him. He had to get himself doing something anything or he was going to say something stupid. “Shall we do the grand tour of the place before we head back to clean up?” Ben asked the two of them afraid to ask if they were going to church together or even mention it.

  “Sure I would love to see the rest of the ranch. Will Benny’s pony keep up with us?” Annabelle asked him with concern in her voice sounding like a parent and then wondered where that came from.

  “No, Trigger can’t keep up with us, but Benny will stay where I can see him because he knows the ranch already and will get bo
red with us anyways. We only have about an hour to see the place if you were still going to church tonight.” Ben was hoping for her to bring up if she wanted them to join her or not.

  “Well then we better hurry if we all are going to have time to clean up. Show me all of your hard work. Benny are you riding with us?” Annabelle turned away from Ben because she didn’t want to see if Ben was going to turn down her offer. They rode together with Benny riding close but not right next to them. Ben showed her most of the property in a large circle ending back at the house. Todd his ranch hand came out of the barn when they all rode up and headed towards them.

  “Boss everything looks good with the herd and if you want I’ll take care of the horses since I still have the barn chores to finish tonight. Sorry Miss.” Todd tipped his hat to acknowledged Annabelle but kept all comments to himself. Ben got off his horse and went to help Annabelle down but by the time he got there she was already on the ground.

  “Todd this is Annabelle. Annabelle, Todd my ranch hand who stays in the apartment above the barn.” She simply nodded at Todd and then Ben continued. “I’ll have to introduce you to Derek and Kate during the week sometime.”

  “Nice to meet you miss.”

  “Same here Todd. Ben how is Derek and Kate?” She had a pain of jealousy hit her and she didn’t like it one bit. Ben could see the Kate part was upsetting her so he didn’t waste any time in answering her.

  “Derek is my foreman on the ranch and Kate is his wife they live over in dad’s old house. But Kate takes care of the house and the cooking since none of us men are very good at it according to her.” He started to laugh but covered it up with a cough because he could see she was getting jealous over Kate.

  “Oh I guess you men have to eat around here don’t you.” Now she felt like an idiot for jumping to conclusions of Kate. She looked down at herself and saw she was filthy from being outside all afternoon and being on a horse. “Oh great! Now I need a shower I can’t go to church smelling like a horse.” What the heck was she going to do now she had her shower bag she carried for at the hospital with her but could she take a shower at Ben’s house knowing he was under the same roof as she was and keep her mind where it needed to be. Changing was one thing but a shower, come on.