Judged Love

  “Well Belle I do have showers in the house and you are more than welcome to one.” He tried not to laugh at her because he knew having her in his house taking a shower was going to be murder on him and give him new fantasies of her. Just the thought of water going places he wanted to be was assaulting his mind already.

  Once inside he gave her the grand tour entering the front door into a large living room with a fire place that took up almost an entire wall, then to the back of his home where the kitchen, his office, Senior’s room and a play room for Benny was. Upstairs was two guest rooms, Benny’s room, a bath room and his room. She was surprised that a log cabin could have so much room inside and the feel of it was homey and not like a hunting lodge. Veronica must have been the one to do the interior decorating and the setup of how the house would be set up. Each room had its own feel to it up was all very comfortable together. Once upstairs Senior yelled up to them, “I put her things in your room because I figured she didn’t want to get cleaned up around Benny’s toys in the other bathroom.” They both knew he had a Cheshire grin on his face planning all this out. To her surprise he was a little shy about showing her his room because he knew the sexual tension would begin being in his room together.

  “Well obvious Dad has plans of his own. I’ll leave you to get cleaned up and I will get Benny and I cleaned and meet you down stairs.” He headed to his closet to grab his clothes and then headed to the bathroom to grab his few things in there. He never looked at her while she stood in the middle of his room and she knew why. Both their bodies were working against them and wanted to come together. But they still hadn’t even kissed why the tension Annabelle couldn’t figure it out. She put it all out of her mind after Ben left the room. She looked around his domain. His king size four poster bed matched all the dressers and night stands in the room and next to the door of the room was a small leather couch. The room didn’t feel cluttered but warm and inviting. She noticed the two doors for the closets on both sides of the door for the bathroom. The bathroom was huge with a large two person tub and two person shower at one end and the dual sink made her start to giggle. She thought defiantly Veronica had set up the entire house down to the last detail. Now she knew why he ran away from her and this area because he knew it would be trouble for him.

  ~

  All three men waited down stairs for Annabelle to come down stairs. Ben started to pace the floor waiting for her. Senior started to laugh at him. “Son sit you need to learn how to wait for a woman. Sit you are going to scare her if she comes down and you are pacing.” Ben heard a noise at the top of the stairs and looked up to see an angel heading down the stairs. She wore a black sun dress that came to her knees with a pair of ballet slipper shoes. Her hair was down but pulled away from her face with a beret. The thing that caught his eye was her choice of jewelry. She didn’t have on her usual but a ribbon around her neck with a small but very detailed cross hanging from the ribbon. She had to look more beautiful than an actual angel, Ben had never seen a woman who could be in so much black but still shine the way she did. The entire site took his breath away for a moment. “Annabelle you look stunning.” Senior said to get Ben’s attention and get him to move.

  “Bells is purty Daddy.” Benny said jumping off the couch and running to Annabelle. She of course blushed to her toes with all the complements and the men staring at her. She waited for Ben to say something, but all he did for a few more moments was stare at her while being frozen.

  Well since he was going to speak she would. “Ben you look good tonight. I think I like you in slacks better than Jeans.” She blushed again because she couldn’t believe she just said that and in front of everyone. She liked the look of him in his black slacks, white button up shirt, that he left the two top buttons undone, and his black cowboy boots but did she have to tell the world.

  That woke Ben up, “You are amazing. I love the dress on you. Shall we head to church it’s just you Benny and Me tonight.” Annabelle took Benny’s hand to lead him out. At the door Ben held his elbow out for her but leaned down to whisper in her ear before going out the door. ‘You have no idea what the way you look tonight is doing to me.’

  ~

  They each took their own cars to the church because afterwards Annabelle had to head home to sleep for work in the morning. At church they sat with Mary and had Benny between them but they each still had a hard time focusing on what was going on. Annabelle kept trying to sneak glances at Ben but each time she looked over at him he was looking at her. She couldn’t believe she was having this effect on him and at church, let alone the fact he was driving her crazy with the look in his eyes of desire. Ben had the hardest time looking forward the entire time at church and when the sermon was done he picked Benny up instead of letting him walk so he had something to keep him busy. The only thing that was on his mind, since he saw Annabelle come down the stairs was locking her in his arms and kissing her.

  After they left church they knew they wouldn’t see each other this week till Thursday because Annabelle had to work late on Wednesday and wasn’t able to join him for dinner with Matt and Sarah.

  Chapter 7

  Thursday afternoon was a cool and raining, Matt, Todd, Derek, and Ben were on the hill above the house moving cattle to another pasture. They were just finishing shutting the gat to the pasture when Ben’s cell phone went off. Ben answered the phone already in a bad mood from being out in the rain for several hours already and answered it on speaker phone to try to keep it dry. “What Sarah?” Sarah didn’t even notice his attitude. ‘Please tell me Annabelle is with you!’ “No she should just be leaving the hospital. What is going on you seem upset?” ‘Well we had a really bad child abuse case come in today. Annabelle is the one who treated her but the child died and now we can’t find Annabelle anywhere.’ “What the hell? How do you lose a person?” ‘Well somebody found her coat outside in the garage and her bike is gone. The worst part of the whole thing is the father of the child knows Annabelle treated his kid but he is not in custody and the police are hunting him down. Now that nobody can find Annabelle the cops got worried for her safety.’ Ben was getting angrier with each word Sarah said and the boys were circling around him to see what he wanted them to do. “Shit Sarah what...” Just then Todd yelled over his shoulder, “She’s just turned down the drive.”

  Ben looked up to see that she was in fact heading toward the house on her bike. “Tell the cops she is safe she is with me.” Ben then hung up on Sarah and grabbed the reigns of his horse and had it run at full speed toward the house when he rounded the corner of the house he saw Annabelle getting closer. He didn’t realize the boys were hot on his heels till he came to a stop and jumped off his horse and all three of the boys dismounted with him. He took one look at her and was crushed she looked like she had no life in her eyes and she wasn’t even really there. She pulled up close to the house and stopped but never actually looked at Ben even though he was heading straight for her. Matt was close on his heels heading for her, Ben reached out to her one second before she passed out and Matt had to catch the bike before it fell on both of them. Ben held her in his arms close to his chest. He then realized she had passed out but was shivering violently from being wet and cold. He looked up at Matt.

  “Get her warm quickly but not too fast. We will take care of things out here. ” Was all Matt said to Ben before he turned and headed for the house the only way he knew to get her warm was the shower. So he headed straight in and went upstairs to his shower to get her warm. He knew Matt would call and get Sarah out here to look her over before he even made it upstairs. Senior came out of the kitchen the moment he entered the house with Annabelle in his arms. He shook his trench coat off while trying to not shake her too much.

  “What happened?” Senior asked.

  “She rode here in the rain. When Sarah gets here send her up stairs Matt should of already called her and can you…” Ben said while heading for the stairs before Senior interrupted him.

  “Y
ou worry about her I’ll take care of the house and Kate has Benny. Hurry!” Senior answer to him while turning to head to the kitchen to make some hot tea for everybody because he knew it would be a long night. Ben just continued upstairs and went to the shower and praying the entire time that she would be alright. “Please god not yet. Not this one too.” He started to say out loud while turning on the shower once it was warm enough he just stepped in holding Annabelle. He didn’t even care that they were both fully dress and he still had on his boots.

  ~

  Annabelle thought she was dreaming but she smelled leather, hay, and Stetson cologne, all the distinct smells of Ben. She could feel she was waking up some more and noticed she was on flannel sheets so this wasn’t her bed because she only has silk sheets. She tried to get her mind to remember what had happened but came up blank. The only thing she could remember was being at the hospital and a toddler dying in her arms. She felt warm where she was and decided to open her eyes. It took her a moment to realize there was a candle on the night stand next to her burning and she took her time looking around to figure out where she was. That is when she looked over towards the door and saw Ben sitting on the small couch in his bedroom. He had his head leaned back on the wall and was asleep. She watched him sleep for a moment before she slid to the edge of the bed to head over to him to wake him up. She walked quietly over to where he was then whispered, “Ben.”

  He sat straight up and looked right into her eyes. He had to shake his head before he spoke because he wanted to make sure he was awake. “Belle?” She simple nodded to answer him. “Would you care to explain what the hell happened today?” She wanted to explain what happened but had no idea.

  “I wish I could. Can I join you?”

  “Come here.” He held his arms open for her to sit on his lap so he could hold her. He wrapped his arms around her like he never wanted to let go after she sat across his lap with her feet on the sofa. “What time is it? Crap I probably should tell Sarah you are awake.”

  “Sarah, what is she doing here?” She then looked down and realized she was wearing a large tee shirt and couldn’t remember how she got in that or why she was sleeping in Ben’s bed. “What am I wearing and why am I in your room?” She couldn’t come up with any of the reasons behind how she got here.

  “Well that’s one of my shirts and you really don’t remember a thing do you?” She was afraid to look at him so she simply shook her head against his chest to answer him. “Well do you want me to tell you what happened?” She nodded unsure if she really wanted to know. “Well I’ll tell you what I know, you were at the hospital today when a very young toddler came in and she couldn’t be saved is what Sarah told me. The next thing she knew nobody could find you. Sarah called me to see if you were here and at the time you were not but Todd saw you coming and we all headed down here to see what was going on. When Matt and I got close to you all you did was pass out. You were so cold from riding in the rain in just your tank top and jeans I had to get you warm so you and I headed for the shower.” She jerked her head away from him startled. “No we both stayed dressed, once you started to get warm is when Sarah showed up. She took care of you by getting you out of your wet clothes and getting you into bed. I have sat here waiting for you to wake up. I was afraid I was going to lose you. Please don’t ever do that to me again?” Ben held her tighter afraid she was going to go somewhere.

  “Oh my god! I remember being at the hospital and her dying. I remember her father’s eyes when he just stood there. He had no emotion to him but when the cops showed up he just disappeared. I don’t know what happened after the girl died or how I got here.” She started to cry and Ben just held her to allow it all out. After she was spent of tears she looked up at Ben. “I’m sorry I was such a pain.”

  “It doesn’t matter now as long as you are fine. You better get some more sleep. I’ll just stay here since there isn’t an empty bed in this house.” Ben stood to carry her back to the bed so she could get more sleep. Once he had her back under the covers in his bed he leaned down to kiss her forehead. He turned to go back to the couch but Annabelle had a hold of his hand and didn’t let go.

  “Don’t go stay right here with me.”

  “Are you sure?” He questioned her and she nodded so he lay behind her on top of the covers afraid to get to close. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise of no sex before she was his wife but being in his bed with her was going to be a test.

  “Who all is here and why are they here?” Annabelle asked.

  “Well Sarah and Matt are in the first guest room. Derek and Kate are in the second guest room. Mary is on the futon in my office and Todd went back to his apartment but they are here because they were worried about you. You gave us all one hell of a scare today.” With Ben’s answer she knew everyone here loved her for who she is. She curled up closer to Ben and fell asleep again. Ben on the other hand took a little bit longer to go to sleep because he was still concerned about her so he watched her sleep for a bit then drifted off with her.

  Chapter 8

  Annabelle awake again to the sun shining on her face but she wasn’t lying on a pillow anymore. She felt the heartbeat of her new pillow and then she pulled back from it. She had been lying on Ben’s bare chest and he was sitting up leaning on the pillows holding her. Ben smiled at her before he spoke. “Good morning beautiful.” She smiled at him. “Coffee is ready and everyone is waiting down stairs for us. Mary brought you clean clothes and if you are finally ready to let me out of this bed I really need to.”

  Oh great now she was holding the man of her dreams hostage in his own bed was not the way she thought the first time in his bed would be. “What all did I do last night?”

  “If you are worried about us sleeping together nothing happened except what you see. When I went to get up this morning you wouldn’t let me you curled up like you are now so I staid. Just so you know this is the latest I have been in bed in a long time. Sarah and Mary came to check on you a few hours ago and they said you would be fine.” Ben have to try to keep his eyes off of her because his tee shirt on her was riding up her hip and he was getting an eyeful and didn’t want to cause her any more stress. But she put both hands on his face and forced him to look her in the eye.

  “Thank you.” She said before she leaned in to kiss him at first just a light kiss on the lips. Ben placed one hand on the back of her neck and he couldn’t take it anymore he had to have one taste of her. He slid his tongue along her bottom lip just to have that one taste. She was better than a fine wine and he released a soft growl because he wanted more. She caught his growl in her mouth when she opened hers for his invitation to be allowed in. He took the cue and dove right in tasting every crevice of her mouth. Her hands slid into his hair to hold him where he was and his other hand went to her hip to draw her closer. Ben broke the kiss first by kissing down her jaw line to her ear and Annabelle was responsive to his every touch by leaning her head to the side. He stopped at her ear and whispered to her, “God I want you but not now. Not like this.” Annabelle pulled her hands from his hair and placed them on his chest to push away from him but she was unable with his hand on the back of her neck.

  “Forgive me. Please stay where you are for one more minute.” Ben said to her to stop her from pulling away from him again. Ben leaned his forehead on hers and too took a couple of deep breaths before he spoke again. “I won’t take you unless you are my wife. I’m sorry.” Ben then allowed her to move away from him and he rolled to the other side of his bed to have his back to her. “Please don’t be angry with me Belle.” Annabelle sat on the other side of the bed but didn’t say anything because she had tears falling down her cheeks and didn’t trust her voice. “Belle? Please say something.” That’s when he heard her sniffle like she was crying. He knew he had hurt her now and he was the only one who could fix it. So he went to the other side of the bed to face her tears. She looked away from him the moment he squatted in front of her. Ben placed one f
inger on her chin and guided her to look at him. “Belle please do not be upset with me and at least let me explain what I said.”

  “I understand you don’t want me as much as I want you.” Annabelle turned away so she didn’t have to see the rejection in his eyes. But it didn’t work Ben placed both of her hands in his and started to circle his thumbs on the back of her hands. She of course looked down at their hands.

  “Belle I want you so bad most nights I don’t get any sleep thinking and dreaming of you but that’s not why I have to stop this. When Veronica and I got married we only got married because of sex. Nobody knew but she got pregnant after we graduated high school and I said my child will have a father. So we got married well the excitement of sex started to fizzle out pretty quickly. Sad to say she lost the baby a month after we were married but we stuck it out. When Veronica was sick she made me promise to never marry for sex again but make sure it was real love. We did have a good marriage but it could have been a lot better. I don’t want sex to destroy what is growing here. Does any of this make sense?”

  Annabelle looked him in the eye and could tell he was telling her the truth about his desire for her she could see it burning there. “So what you are saying is you want your soul mate to be your next partner.”

  Ben kissed the back of each of her hands then thanked god she was still covered by the quilt on his bed before he answered her. “Yes that’s what I’m saying. Can you wait with me to find out where this goes before we do anything?” Annabelle nodded her response and pulled her hands free to place them on each side of his face. She pulled his face to her and lightly kissed his lips.