Behind Your Back

  I have a dark hoodie pulled up over my hair so it’s not visible and I’ve got dark sunglasses as well.

  I’ve broken into his place more than a few times so it’s only a matter of making sure that he’s not there. I make my way across the street and to the door. I’m being reckless. Far too reckless.

  But I’m past caring. I just need him to see this letter. I walk quietly up the stairs and down the hall. I almost hold my breath as I press my ear to the crack in his door.

  At first I hear nothing, but then his voice. Talking to the cat. I could just slide it under the door, but he’s fast and he’ll probably catch me. I should try again later. I’m just about to turn around when the door flies open.

  “What the fuck are you doing here, Saige?”

  Busted.

  Ten

  I take the sunglasses off and pull down the hood.

  “I came to give you this. Just read it. That’s all.” I start to pivot on my heel, but he lunges out and grabs my arm, yanking me into the apartment and locking the door behind us. I can feel him vibrating with anger and… something else.

  “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” he says, stepping away from me and tearing his hands through his hair. “Everywhere I look, there you are. I see you everywhere. I can’t get you out of my mind. You’re driving me absolutely fucking crazy and I can’t take it.” He’s pacing around and I sense I’ve come just in the middle of him having a crisis. Guess I have good timing.

  I don’t say anything as he mutters to himself. Leo is perched on the back of the couch, his tail swishing back and forth, watching Sylas as if he’s wondering why his human is behaving like this.

  “You know why I can’t leave you alone,” I say, and he stops.

  “I know, I know, because of Lizzy. I really wish you would stop reminding me.”

  Now or never.

  “It’s not just her. I love you. I always did. I lied when I said I didn’t know. I love you, Sylas. In spite of all this other shit.” His mouth parts just a little and I want to throw myself at him, but we need to talk this out. We’re too quick to use sex so we don’t have to.

  “How can I believe you?” he asks, throwing his hands up.

  “Read this,” I say, holding up the envelope and then putting it on his kitchen counter. “It’s everything. If you don’t believe me after that, then fine. I won’t bother you about this again. But we’re still going to be in each other’s lives. No matter what.” I can’t even think about what will happen if he doesn’t want me. I can’t let myself go there.

  The ball is in his court.

  “We were happy together, Sylas. No matter what brought us together, we were happy and I loved you. I love you.” Biting my bottom lip so I won’t cry, I turn around and leave.

  He lets me go.

  I’m distracted the rest of the day, wondering if Sylas has read the letter or burned it, and if he did read it, what did he think?

  I never used to be this kind of girl, and I hate it a little bit. No guy has ever twisted up my head so much, but then again, there’s only one Sylas.

  I refuse to let myself contact him. That’s where I absolutely draw the line. But I do call Lo and tell her I basically laid everything on the line with him. I can at least tell her that. She gives me encouragement and says that if he doesn’t accept it, then he’s an idiot and I wouldn’t want to be with him anyway. I roll my eyes, but it’s good to talk to her about it anyway.

  Dad calls me just as I walk through the door after a long and distracted day. I pick up the call, but then I see Sylas is sitting on my couch.

  “Dad? Uh, yeah, let me call you back. Bye.” I hang up before he can say anything else and my phone almost slips from my grip. I turn it off.

  “What are you doing here?” My voice is a whisper. I set my bags down and walk toward him. He’s dressed casual, in a ripped t-shirt and jeans.

  T-shirt? He’s wearing a t-shirt. He wore a t-shirt out in public, showing his tattoos. I’m as stunned by that as I am by him being here, in my house.

  “I read your letter,” he says, leaning forward and placing his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands together.

  “And?” I prompt, but it comes out as a squeak. I really wish I could get control of myself, but I’m shaking all over.

  He looks up at me.

  “I accepted the job. With your father.”

  I need to sit down. Going to the other end of the couch, I sink into it.

  “Why?”

  He chuckles.

  “Because it’s my only option, isn’t it? The enemy of my enemy is my friend.” True, but I had no idea he was going to go for it without at least a little bit more of a fight.

  “He blackmailed you,” I say, and it’s not a question.

  “More or less,” Sylas says and it makes me angry on his behalf. I love my father more than anything, but I don’t agree with everything he does.

  “He says that he has something I want.” I narrow my eyes.

  “Me?” I ask, but he shakes his head.

  “No. Something else. I have no idea what it is, but he told me that I’m definitely going to want it. I… I have to take the chance, Saige. And then there’s you.” He looks up at me and I search his eyes, looking for anything to give me hope.

  “We’ve done a lot of things to each other, you and I. But I can’t be sorry I met you. When I told you I loved you, it wasn’t part of the game. I said it because I meant it. I mean it. I do love you, Saige. So much it’s hard to breathe, I’m so utterly consumed by you.”

  That’s all I wanted to hear. I launch myself at him and he’s ready for me. His kiss is rough and hard and everything I want. There isn’t even time to get undressed. He just pulls down my jeans and underwear, unzips his pants and moves me until I’m sitting in his lap.

  I sink down onto his cock and stare into his eyes as I do. His eyes blaze into mine and I see everything I’ve always wanted.

  “So how the hell is this going to work?” I ask a while later as I’m lying on his chest and he’s playing with my hair.

  “I’m not sure. We should keep it quiet at first. I’m sure your father will be none too pleased. He threated to hurt me if I ever broke your heart.” That’s not surprising at all.

  “Well, you’re not going to, so you don’t have to worry about it.”

  “I wish I had your confidence.”

  “It’s not about being confident,” I say, lifting my head and resting my chin on his chest so I can see him. “It’s about knowing something, deep in your bones. I knew you were going to change my life, that very first moment when you saw me.” His hand stops moving on my hair.

  “That reminds me, why in the hell were you wearing that brown wig?” I laugh. I wondered how long it was going to take him to ask.

  “I wore it because I knew you’d be intrigued. No reason other than that. I have worn disguises before, many times. I just had that one kicking around.” Sylas holds a few strands of hair between his fingers, turning them so they catch the light.

  “You should never cover this hair. Ever.” He tugs a little and I yelp.

  “Is this even happening right now?” His hand goes from my hair to my cheek.

  “Yes. Somehow.”

  He gives me a soft kiss.

  “How are we going to trust each other?” I say. This is going to be our biggest hurdle. Well, the biggest next to Dad.

  “I really don’t know. I guess we’re going to take it one day at a time. That letter was a start. Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t easy.” I’ve missed him. This is my Sylas. The man I fell in love with. Not the unemotional, quiet robot I’ve seen since everything went to shit.

  “Thank you for reading it and not setting it on fire.”

  “I would never disrespect you like that.”

  We don’t talk about the exact details of the letter. It was a lot for him to take in, I’m sure. I started at the beginning, with the games Dad and I used to play and went
all the way to the moment when Dad asked me if I could help him with a job and showed me Sylas’ picture. At first I didn’t know what Dad wanted with Sylas, but I did the job anyway. And then I got far too wrapped up in it and fell in love with him and found out what Dad’s true motive was.

  I almost told him. Many times. I’m sure he remembers those moments when I seemed distant, or like I had something to tell him, but would divert his attention when he asked.

  “So I guess this makes us coworkers now?” I say. I don’t like the sound of that.

  “Close enough.”

  I shift so I’m lying more comfortably on his chest.

  “Did the rest of your guys want the jobs?” He lets out a long breath, his chest rising and falling.

  “Yes.” His tone is clipped.

  “Dad used what he had on them, didn’t he?”

  “Yes,” he says again.

  “I’m sure they weren’t very happy about it.”

  Now he’s the one who shifts.

  “I think they were more okay with it than I thought they would be. He’s got a lot of money, and they can do what they want more now that they have his protection.” Money is a powerful, powerful force. “Row has been wanting to work on cars forever, but a chop shop wasn’t exactly in the budget.”

  “And what about you? Are you okay with it?”

  “Ask me that question tomorrow,” he says and closes the door on that particular conversation.

  I don’t answer, but close my eyes and breathe him in and thank the fates, or whoever it was that saw fit to put the two of us together.

  “Stay,” I say later when we’ve both gotten up. “I’ll make you dinner.”

  He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.

  “Okay, I’ll order dinner.” I’m not much of a cook. I usually don’t have the energy for it when I get home from school.

  He looks down at me and then holds my face in both hands.

  “Sure,” he says, placing a kiss on my lips.

  We end up getting Chinese and eating it on the couch while we argue over which movie to watch. I’m in the mood for a costume drama, but Sylas is having none of it.

  “If you watch this with me, I’ll watch whatever you want next time.” It feels so good to know there will be a next time. Hopefully there will be many next times.

  This is what being a twenty-year-old girl is supposed to be. I’m supposed to fight with my boyfriend about what movie to watch. Not worry about getting caught on a surveillance camera as I sneak into a building to steal some documents.

  He sighs like it’s the end of the world and then acquiesces.

  “Fine. But you owe me.”

  “Fine,” I say, selecting the movie and snuggling into his chest.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” I say as the opening scene of the movie fills the screen.

  “Me too, Redhead,” he says, kissing my cheek.

  Eleven

  Sylas has to wake me up the next morning because the alarm on my phone doesn’t go off. That’s when I realize my phone is still off.

  “Shit,” I say, turning it on and seeing several missed calls and messages from Dad.

  “Are you grounded?” Sylas says as he gets dressed in his old clothes. When he left last time, he took everything. I still have the lipstick heart on the mirror. I can’t bear to wash it off.

  He’s in a good mood and I’m thrilled. I thought this side of him was lost to me.

  “Haha, no. I just need to call him ASAP.” I walk out of the room and call him back.

  “Hey, Dad. I’m sorry about last night. I turned my phone off and forgot.”

  There’s a beat of silence.

  “I really needed to talk to you, Saige.”

  “I know, I’m so sorry.”

  He’s really angry. He’s only silent like this when he’s pissed.

  “I needed to talk to you about Sylas and the rest of his group. They’ve decided to work with me.”

  “Really? That’s good, isn’t it?” I say, lying smoothly. Sylas seems to be the only who disables my ability to lie.

  “Yes, but I had to use everything I had to make it happen. They didn’t come willingly.” I walk into the kitchen and start making coffee.

  “Well, can you blame them?”

  “No, I suppose not. But this is an opportunity that they can’t pass up. And it will give me a chance to show Sylas I can be trusted, so I’ll be able to see my daughter.” That’s his main motive. I hope Sylas understands that, because it’s important if they’re going to work together.

  I hear my bedroom door open and I turn around and put my finger to my lips to shush Sylas so Dad doesn’t hear him. He nods before going to sit quietly on the couch.

  “Exactly. Listen, I need to get ready for school and I’m running seriously late. Is there anything you need me to do?”

  “Just stay away from Sylas. I can’t have anything jeopardizing the relationship I’m trying to build with him. Your job with him is done, understand?” He’s using his strict voice. The kind he uses when he gives orders and expects them to be followed.

  I swallow before I say anything.

  “Absolutely. I understand.”

  I hang up and swallow again. Swallow the lie I just told my dad.

  “He told you to stay away from me, didn’t he?” Sylas says, and his voice is so close that I nearly jump out of my skin. I didn’t see him get up from the couch and walk over.

  I can only nod. I hate lying to Dad, but it can’t be helped.

  “What are you going to tell him?” I set the phone down on the counter and put my arms around his neck.

  “I’m not going to worry about it right now. We’re together and somehow we’ll find a way.” I press up to kiss him. He smiles down at me.

  “It feels good to be here with you. I never thought it could be like this.”

  “Me neither.” This isn’t something either one of us wanted, but it happened anyway. Life is strange sometimes.

  “Do you mind if I bring Leo here? If I’m going to stay nights, I don’t want to leave him.” I can’t help the little flutter in my chest when he suggests it. It’s almost like he’s moving in. Almost. No offence to his living situation, but my apartment is much nicer than his. Not that I would say no to staying there. As long as I was staying with him, we could be in a cardboard box next to the railroad tracks and I’d be okay.

  “Sure. As long as he doesn’t ruin my furniture.” Sylas smiles wide and my heart feels like it’s going to explode.

  “He’s good. I trained him when he was little with a spray bottle and water. The only thing he likes to go after are toys, but I’ll bring them with me.”

  “Okay,” I say, giving him another kiss and then going for the coffee cups. “Bring him over whenever.” I don’t know what Sylas does all day and I don’t ask. Things are too new and I feel like I’m going to be walking on eggshells, at least for the first week.

  I’m late for class, but I honestly don’t care. I send Sylas a text letting him know I miss him already and he sends me one back. I know I have a constant smile and I must look like I’m on something, but I seriously don’t care. Of course Lo asks if I want to have lunch with her and she comments on it.

  “We’re back together.” It’s only a technicality that we weren’t together the first time.

  “I can tell. You look like someone who’s very satisfied.” I am. I’ve never had such explosive sexual chemistry with anyone. Whether we do it fast or slow, he’s the best I’ve ever had or will have. I don’t want anyone else.

  “It’s good. We’re good.” I steal a green bean from her plate and she scowls at me.

  “Well, good, I guess. But if he hurts you, I’m going to dismember him.” I munch the green bean and then point my fork at her.

  “You’ll have to get in line behind my dad.” Lo thinks my close relationship with my father is a little odd, but usually doesn’t comment on it.

  “Have you told your dad that you?
??re back together?” I shake my head.

  “No. He doesn’t know. I’m going to wait until things are a little more stable before I tell him. It’s not going to go over well.” I roll my eyes, but it’s so much more serious than my dad just being mad that I got together with my boyfriend.

  “I’m sure it will be fine when he sees how happy you are.” If only that were the case. I change the subject and ask Lo about the new exhibit she’s putting together. Art is one of the things that brought us together and it’s always a safe topic.

  When I put my key in the lock of my door, it flies open and Sylas is standing on the other side.

  “I didn’t know if you were going to be here,” I say, dropping my keys. He bends down to get them and then straightens to give me a kiss.

  “Where else would I be?” His eyes are intense and I can tell there’s something he wants to talk about. Leo runs out of the bedroom and starts twisting himself around my legs and rubbing his head on my ankles.

  “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

  “I just talked to your father today. He laid out what he wants me and the rest of the guys to do. It took some convincing. They’re not exactly the best at taking orders.” I can imagine. Granted, I’ve only met Cash, and seen the others from a distance.

  “Am I ever going to meet them?” I don’t mention my meeting with Cash. I haven’t contacted him since we met at the coffee shop, but I probably should. Just to let him know that his advice worked.

  Sylas closes right up.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why?” I say, even though I can name a thousand reasons it’s not a good idea. I want to know what his reasons are.

  “For one, they still think of you as an enemy. I haven’t told them that I’m here. They’ll probably find out anyway.” I know the feeling.

  “They’re going to find out eventually, right? I mean, I’m a part of your life and so are they. You can’t split yourself in half, Sylas.” Although I could see him trying. He’s stubborn like that.