Ma and Pa Dracula

  “We are not sure,” Pa answered, “but the blood bank is awfully low.”

  “Thanks to us, most likely,” added Ma.

  “So the past few nights we have been afraid to take even one pint,” said Pa. “We were forced to kill a deer instead.”

  Jonathan, who had been sinking into his chair, jumped to his feet. “Kill a deer!” he cried. “You killed a deer? A poor, innocent deer? That’s disgusting! That’s awful!” He almost added, “I can’t believe you’re my parents,” but he stopped himself in time. For one thing, they weren’t his parents—not really. For another, it was too mean to say.

  “Jonathan!” exclaimed Ma sharply. Ma rarely spoke sharply. When she did so, a spot of color flushed her pale cheeks.

  Jonathan sat down.

  “We never,” said Pa firmly, “just choose an animal and kill it.”

  “That would be almost as uncivilized and impolite as killing a human,” agreed Ma. “No, we search the roads for animals that have been hit by cars.”

  “Animals we can put out of their misery,” Pa explained. “Last night, we came along just after an accident had happened. A driver had hit a deer, but afterward, he just started his car and kept on going. The deer was left lying by the side of the road. It was not conscious. And it would not have lived.”

  “We-ell,” said Jonathan.

  “So we had a meal,” Ma went on, “but my goodness, we are tired. I suppose we shall have to fly around all of tonight, too, and who knows what we might find? Possibly just a rabbit. That barely makes a meal.”

  “Let us check out the blood bank,” Pa suggested as he and Ma staggered to their feet. “Perhaps there were some donations today.”

  “I cannot wait until the annual blood drive is under way,” said Ma, opening the back door. “When did those posters say it was to begin?”

  “November third,” Pa replied.

  The back door slammed.

  “November third,” Jonathan repeated, burying his head in his hands.

  “That does seem a long way off,” agreed Mr. Saginaw. He had entered the kitchen and was stirring something in a pot on the stove. “However, your parents have survived these dry spells before.”

  “But don’t you see?” said Jonathan miserably. “November third is after Halloween. After the party. If Ma and Pa are hungry now, think how hungry they’ll be then.”

  The next morning, Tobi and her father picked up Jonathan, and then Rusty, Eric, and Sharrod, and drove them to the mall. Jonathan tried to think of some way to tell his friends that he would have to cancel the Halloween party. But they were so excited that he couldn’t say a word. He didn’t say anything about the party while they were washing cars, either. And at the end of the day, when Tobi counted up the money they’d earned and began leaping around the parking lot shouting, “We’re rich! We’re rich! Halloween party, here we come!” he really couldn’t say anything. He didn’t want to see Tobi unhappy. And he certainly didn’t want to make her unhappy.

  Jonathan decided that he would rather risk the party than disappoint his friends. So that night he went to Mr. Saginaw and said, “I need all those books on vampires and monsters again. Not the library books, the ones that are our own.”

  “Very well,” replied Mr. Saginaw. “But why?”

  Jonathan shrugged. “No reason.”

  Mr. Saginaw showed Jonathan where the books were, and Jonathan sat down on the floor in the den. He opened all the books to their tables of contents, and he looked in each one for a chapter titled something like, “How to Ward Off Vampires.” He read and read and read. He made notes on a pad of yellow paper.

  There were, he learned, two main ways to ward off vampires: with garlic and with silver crosses.

  “Okay,” Jonathan said to himself as he closed the books, “this is it. I will just have to be prepared for the night of the party. If there’s any trouble, I’ll get out some garlic or a silver cross. Of course, everyone will know about Ma and Pa if I do that—but at least nobody will get hurt.”

  During the next two weeks, while Miss Lecky’s class raised more money and bought party supplies, Jonathan took care of other matters. Every time Mr. Saginaw drove to the grocery store at the mall, Jonathan begged to go with him. Secretly, he laid in a supply of garlic. He bought garlic powder, garlic salt, and garlic cloves.

  And one day, he went to the jewelry department at a store called Bamberger’s and bought a silver cross.

  So Jonathan had his garlic and his cross. Miss Lecky’s class had their money. Halloween was just a few days away—and Ma and Pa were more tired and hungry than ever. Jonathan hoped for the best.

  9

  The Cupboard Is Bare

  “FROM GHOULIES AND GHOSTIES, long-leggety beasties / And things that go bump in the night …”

  It was Halloween and, Jonathan thought, it felt like Halloween. A chill was in the air. Outside, the last of the dry, brown leaves were falling from the trees, leaving behind bare branches that scratched the windows of the old house. Darkness fell early as clouds scudded across the sky. Was a storm brewing? Maybe. A stiff wind had blown up, and it rattled the doors and whistled down the chimney.

  “Spooky,” Jonathan said to Mr. Saginaw.

  “If there is a storm, it will certainly lend atmosphere to the party,” Mr. Saginaw replied.

  Jonathan thought that two vampires were enough atmosphere for any party, but he didn’t say so. He and Mr. Saginaw were very busy. School had let out, and in just a few hours, the Halloween party would begin. There was decorating to be done, food to be set out, a DO NOT ENTER sign to be made, and one costume to get ready. Jonathan had decided to dress as a vampire. That way, maybe everyone would pay less attention to Ma and Pa—and be more likely to believe that they were in costumes too.

  Miss Lecky had driven Jonathan home after school that day. In the back of her car had been two cases of soda; a carton of paper plates, cups, and napkins, and packages of plastic forks; bags of potato chips; some apples for apple bobbing; prizes for the costume judging; and more. Everything, in fact, that $150 had bought, except for the pizzas which Miss Lecky would pick up on her way to the party so that they would be warm.

  “Look at all this stuff,” said Jonathan to Mr. Saginaw after Miss Lecky had left.

  “Well, we shall just have to get busy.”

  So they did.

  The party was to start at six o’clock. By five-thirty, everything was ready except Jonathan.

  “You better put your costume on,” said Mr. Saginaw. “While you are doing that, I shall have to waken your parents … Oh what a horrible job,” he muttered.

  “How do you waken them?” Jonathan whispered, wide-eyed.

  “I go into the cellar and rap on their coffin lids. They absolutely detest it. But they must get up.”

  Jonathan nodded. Then he ran upstairs to put on his vampire costume. He had bought pointed teeth and was going to whiten his face with powder. Mr. Saginaw had made him a long black cape to wear with his black suit. His costume was very realistic. But as Jonathan was dressing, he grew more and more worried. His parents, he thought, were not only going to be hungry, but cranky as well from having gotten up early. What a combination!

  When his costume was on, Jonathan went downstairs and made certain the DO NOT ENTER sign was hanging on the cellar door. Then he patted his chest to feel the cross that was hidden under the shirt of his costume. And last of all, he checked the jar that he had stashed in a cupboard in the kitchen. It held his garlic supply.

  Jonathan was ready.

  At six o’clock on the nose, two things happened: the doorbell rang, and Mr. Saginaw led Ma and Pa out of the basement. They looked terrible.

  “Can you get the door, please?” Jonathan asked Mr. Saginaw. “I want to talk to Ma and Pa for a minute.”

  “Certainly.”

  Mr. Saginaw walked away, and Ma and Pa headed tiredly for the kitchen.

  “How, um, how’s the blood bank?” Jonathan asked, following them. br />
  “Dry as a bone,” said Ma crossly.

  “The cupboard is bare,” added Pa.

  “When was the last time you ate?”

  “Let me see. I believe it was Wednesday night,” Pa replied. He didn’t sound as grumpy as Ma did.

  “We have been searching and searching,” said Ma, “but we have not found any injured animals. Not even a mouse. And by the way, it was a mouse from which we ate on Wednesday. Just one mouse for the two of us … But for pity’s sake, do not worry so,” she went on, seeing the horrified expression on Jonathan’s face. “You have nothing to fear. We will be on our best behavior this evening. Dracula’s honor.”

  “And might I say,” added Pa, “that you are looking especially handsome tonight. That costume becomes you.” Pa grinned, showing his fangs.

  “Um, thanks,” said Jonathan.

  “Jon! Jon!”

  Jonathan heard Tobi calling him from the other room. “I better go join the party,” he said to his parents. “Are you coming?”

  “Certainly,” replied Ma and Pa.

  Jonathan and his parents reached the living room just as the doorbell rang again. The next twenty minutes were very confusing. Kids kept arriving. Miss Lecky showed up, bringing the pizzas, which Mr. Saginaw helped her carry into the kitchen. And Tobi, who was dressed as an Indian brave, showed Jonathan how to work her tape deck. She’d brought it over, along with a stack of tapes. She said that any good party needs music.

  Jonathan kept one eye on the party and one eye on his parents. Ma was playing her role well. She no longer seemed cross. “We are off to a costume party tonight,” she said gaily to anyone who asked about her “costume.”

  “Hey, Jon!” Tobi cried at one point. “How come there’s a ‘Do not enter’ sign on this door?”

  “We got a dog,” he lied, managing a grin, “but she’s really shy. She doesn’t like people at all. So she’s staying in the basement during the party. Nobody should go down there.”

  “Oh, please, can’t I just peek at her?” begged Tobi. “I love dogs.”

  Jonathan shook his head. “Sorry.”

  “Well, what kind of dog is she?”

  “Umm … a collie. Okay, let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  “To check on the pizzas. How do you know when they’re cooked?”

  “Cooked!” exclaimed Tobi. “You don’t cook pizzas! They come from the pizza place already cooked.” She paused. “Oh, that’s a joke, right?”

  “Right …” (If you don’t cook pizzas, what are they doing in the oven? Jonathan wondered.)

  Jonathan managed to get Tobi back to the living room where the party was in progress. All his classmates were there, along with Miss Lecky, Mr. Saginaw, and Ma and Pa. His friends looked as if they were having fun. Tobi’s tapes were playing, there was plenty of food, and Miss Lecky was organizing games.

  “How about bobbing for apples?” she suggested. “Come line up at the tub.” (Mr. Saginaw had helped Jonathan fill a washtub with water. Now two dozen apples were floating in it.) “Anyone who can grab an apple between his teeth—no hands allowed—in less than sixty seconds wins a prize,” Miss Lecky announced.

  “Oh, how charming,” commented Ma. “I haven’t seen apple bobbing in nearly a century.”

  Pa elbowed Ma, and Ma fell silent.

  A bunch of kids lined up at the washtub.

  Ma and Pa edged closer to them. “Charming,” Ma murmured again.

  And then Jonathan noticed something. When Sharrod knelt in front of the tub to bob for an apple, the back of his neck was completely exposed.

  Ma and Pa moved even closer.

  Jonathan glanced nervously at Mr. Saginaw, but Mr. Saginaw didn’t look a bit concerned.

  “Congratulations!” cried Miss Lecky, as Sharrod stood up, an apple between his teeth. “You’re the first to win a prize!” She handed Sharrod a gruesome-looking windup spider and a towel so he could dry off.

  Then Tara Pushanski knelt in front of the tub.

  Ma and Pa moved closer. They were practically breathing down Tara’s neck.

  When Tara was finished, it was Tobi’s turn. She got down on her knees, bent her head, and—

  “Oh!” said Ma. She reached for Tobi’s neck.

  Jonathan’s hand flew toward his silver cross. “Ma!” he cried. And he almost added, “Don’t bite! Please!”

  But Ma just said, “The tag on your costume is showing, Tobi,” and tucked it underneath Tobi’s shirt.

  “Oh, thanks, Mrs. Primave,” Tobi replied. And she put her face in the water.

  Jonathan breathed a sigh of relief. His heart was pounding, though. That had been too close. Much too close. How could he enjoy the party with Ma and Pa around? He couldn’t, he decided.

  “Ma, Pa,” said Jonathan, and he pulled his parents into the kitchen. “Okay, time for a nap. Back to your coffins,” he whispered. “All the parents have seen you. Miss Lecky knows you’re here. You don’t have to stick around anymore.”

  “You do not want us at the party?” asked Pa. He looked hurt.

  “No, it’s not that,” Jonathan answered quickly, “it’s just, well, you look so tired. Why stay up when you could be resting? I know how weak you are. Why don’t you get some more sleep and then you’ll have extra energy tonight when you’re out hunting for … food.”

  “That is not a bad idea,” said Ma, who looked as if she might not even be able to climb back into her coffin.

  “Very well,” said Pa. He took Ma by the arm and led her down the basement steps. Jonathan closed the door after them. His heart began beating normally again.

  The party went on. After the apple bobbing, Miss Lecky and Mr. Saginaw served the pizzas. Then Miss Lecky gave out prizes for the best costumes at the party. When the prizes had been awarded, Tobi cried, “Let’s play hide-and-seek! Jon’s got the perfect house for it. It’s so big and dark.”

  “Mr. Saginaw,” said Miss Lecky questioningly, “is that all right with you?”

  “I suppose so,” he replied, “as long as everyone stays on the first floor.”

  So the game began. Jonathan had never played hide-and-seek, but he found that he liked it very much. He had been hiding and seeking for quite some time, when he noticed Mr. Saginaw harrumphing and tapping his watch. Jonathan looked at his own watch. Almost eight forty-five!

  “Miss Lecky,” Jonathan cried, “it’s quarter to nine! My mom and dad have to leave soon.”

  “Right you are,” she agreed. She stopped the game and gathered her students in the living room. Jonathan glanced around. Everyone was there … except Tobi.

  “Tobi?” said Jonathan. He hurried into the kitchen. No Tobi. Maybe the bathroom, he thought. And that was when he saw the door to the basement. It was ajar.

  No, thought Jonathan. Please, no.

  Jonathan flicked a switch by the door. A dim light came on downstairs.

  “Tobi?” he called again.

  “Yeah?”

  Oh, no, thought Jonathan. Oh, no! Had Tobi seen the coffins yet? At least she was alive.

  Jonathan dashed down the stairs, his heart pounding.

  “What are you doing down here?” he cried. Now that he’d seen that Tobi was all right, he wasn’t quite so worried. He felt angry instead. “I told you not to come down here! I told you. I put a sign on the door and everything.” Jonathan tried to catch his breath.

  Tobi was next to the coffins. If she’d been any nearer, she would have been inside of one. But she didn’t look as if she’d seen them. Jonathan tried to pull her toward the stairs.

  “I just want to see the dog,” said Tobi plaintively. “Where is she?”

  “She’s—she’s—I think my father took her for a walk. Now come on.”

  Jonathan pulled at Tobi again, and as he did so, one of the coffin lids creaked open and a deathly white hand reached out slowly.

  “Aughh!” screamed Tobi, as she saw it.

  “Ma!” shouted Jonathan.

  With a flourish
, the coffin lid swung wide open. Ma sat bolt upright.

  “Pew!” cried Tobi. “What a rotten smell!” And then, “What’s wrong with your mother? I’m getting out of here!”

  She backed toward the stairway, her eyes wide with fright.

  Behind Tobi, Jonathan yanked the cross from under his shirt and held it toward Ma. Immediately, Ma lay down. Jonathan hid the cross again. He didn’t want Tobi to see it.

  “What is going on?” Tobi whispered to Jonathan from the stairs. She felt her way backward up one step. Then she looked around frantically. “There is no dog, is there?” she said. “You just made that up so I wouldn’t come down here.” Tobi backed up one more step.

  Jonathan had to stop her before she ran all the way upstairs and told Miss Lecky and the kids what she’d seen. He tried to laugh. Then he said, “Listen, Tobi, don’t tell anyone about this, okay? These are just props for my parents’ costumes at their party tonight. The—the coffins aren’t as heavy as they look. But really, I don’t want the kids to know how seriously my parents are taking this party. They’ll think Ma and Pa are weird. And Sharrod and the others finally like me. So please don’t tell.

  “And of course we have a dog,” Jonathan continued. “I told you—my father’s out walking her.” Jonathan turned toward Mrs. Primave’s coffin. “Ma, you scared Tobi to death,” he shouted.

  “I am sorry, truly I am,” came Ma’s muffled voice from inside the coffin. “I just wanted to see how effective my costume is.”

  “It’s—it’s very effective,” Tobi stammered.

  Then she ran up the stairs, Jonathan at her heels.

  Before reaching the top, though, Jonathan turned to glare at his mother’s coffin. He half hoped it would open again so he could show Ma how mad he was. But the lid stayed firmly closed.

  10

  Moving Again

  JONATHAN’S HALLOWEEN PARTY WAS over. Miss Lecky and the kids had gone home. No one had been bitten. And no one except Tobi had seen anything strange or scary.

  “Awesome party, Jon!” Tobi had exclaimed as she left, but she looked a little shaken. “Let me know when your dog isn’t so shy,” she added. “I really want to see her. As long as I don’t have to go in the basement.”