Forsaken

  I glanced in her direction. She seemed to be in deep thought as if heavily pondering over the things I had just told her.

  “Cole is an awful man,” I said, my voice coming out a little more harshly than I intended. “Well, not even a man.” I immediately regretted saying this. Even though Alex was as unlike Cole as it was possible to be, they were still the same species, or whatever you classified an angel as.

  “I know that,” Emily said defensively. “He branded me too for eleven years, don’t forget that.”

  Neither of us said anything for a moment after that. I didn’t want to be having this conversation. I didn’t want these wretched things to be in my past.

  But they were; nothing was going to change that fact.

  I glanced at my watch, surprised at how much time had passed already. “I’m sorry. Can we just pretend this conversation didn’t happen?”

  She was quiet for a moment then nodded her head. “Yeah. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

  “Why don’t we just hang out today? We could go back to my place and watch a movie and just be bums today.”

  “That sounds really good actually,” she said with a smile. “It sounds like a nice normal day.”

  I drove Emily back to the athletic center where she picked up her car. We drove together back to the lake. I pushed the button to open the garage and pulled in next to the truck. Emily pulled in behind me.

  We opened the front door, finding all of the lights turned off.

  “Surprise!”

  Alex and Sal popped up from behind the couch. Streamers were streaked through the rafters and balloons were tied everywhere, all in brilliant colors of lime green and hot pink- Emily’s favorites.

  “Thanks you guys!” Emily said in awe as she took in the decorated living room. I was surprised when her eyes turned red and a tear broke loose onto her cheek. Without saying anything, I wrapped my arms around her. When I stepped away she wiped the tears and went to give Alex a hug. She knew better than to hug Sal who didn’t like to be touched.

  “Alex made a cake,” Sal said, bouncing where she stood. I was still shocked to see her there. She had only recently started coming out of her house again.

  “Well let’s see it!” Emily said excitedly causing Sal’s excitement to build until she bounced on the balls of her feet.

  We all rushed into the kitchen where, sitting in all its glory, was the cake Alex had made. It was three-tiered and looked like something right off the food channel.

  “Wow!” Emily said with something close to a giggle. “You really are amazing when it comes to food, Alex.”

  “Glad you like it,” Alex said with a smile, draping an arm across my shoulders.

  It seemed a shame to cut into the beautiful cake but everyone except Alex dug in after consuming more than our share of hamburgers, potato salad, and soda.

  As we ate, my thoughts drifted to a few months previous, to my own birthday.

  The weather had been amazing considering it was still May. I had walked through the door after yoga and found a scene very similar to the one we had just created for Emily. Alex, Sal, and Emily had been there with one surprising addition.

  “Dad!” I had exclaimed and bounded across the room, throwing my arms around his neck.

  “Hey kid,” he said as he patted my back, returning my embrace. “Happy birthday.”

  “I’m so glad to see you, dad,” I said into his neck, squeezing him tighter.

  “Ouch,” he grimaced and I immediately released him and stepped back with a sheepish look on my face. “That’s quite the grip you’ve got there.”

  “Sorry,” I apologized as I beamed at everyone in the world that mattered to me.

  We’d eaten dinner, cut the cake and I’d opened all the presents. After Emily walked Sal home, my dad pulled me out onto the back deck.

  We sat on the wooden swing Alex had installed only a few weeks before. It was almost completely dark by then but the last of the evening light reflected on the water in the beautiful way of man and nature.

  “I’m really glad you could come out for this, Dad,” I said as I glanced over in his direction.

  “Me too,” he said with a grin and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

  We were both quiet for a while as the last of the daylight faded, the only light to see by coming from the windows. It took me a minute to realize there were a few tears streaming down my father’s cheeks.

  “Dad,” I said in alarm. “What’s the matter?”

  “Oh, nothing,” he said with a sigh and squeezed me a little tighter. “I just didn’t think you were going to live to see your sixth birthday at one time. Now here you are, a twenty-one-year-old woman.”

  “It’s thanks to you, Dad,” I said quietly as I leaned against him and rested my head on his shoulder.

  “I put you through hell for it though,” he said, his voice rough sounding.

  “It was worth it.” I smiled as I sensed Alex walking around in the house. Worth every second of it no matter how terrifying it had all been.

  He didn’t say anything for a while as he composed himself. “I like Alex more than I imagined I would ever like a guy one of my girls would get involved with. But I can’t say I’m thrilled at you guys living together like you do.”

  “It’s not like that, Dad,” I said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. “We haven’t done… that.”

  I felt my dad relax a little bit at my uncomfortable response. “Well, why don’t you two just get married? You practically are already.”

  It took a moment for me to respond to that. “It’s complicated.” My stomach knotted up.

  Thankfully my dad didn’t press the subject any more.

  “I told your mother where I was going, Jessica,” he said quietly. I felt a rock form in my throat. I tried to swallow it but it didn’t go down. “She asked if you were alright, how you were doing.”

  “And?” my voice came out shaky.

  “She’d like to see you. She has a few things to say I think you should hear.”

  I sat up straight, feeling like all my insides had turned hard. I pressed my lips together tight and shook my head. “I can’t talk to her. Not after everything that happened. She was going to have me committed, Dad.”

  “I know,” he said, his voice sounding tight, as if he was holding back tears again. “But she wants to see you. You’re still her daughter.”

  “Am I?”

  My dad didn’t say anything for a minute and I almost felt guilty for my harsh words. “You need to forgive her sometime.”

  “It’s not going to be today,” I said, my voice barely more than a whisper. Dad squeezed my shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

  “Well,” he said as he stood up. “I’d better get going.”

  “Dad,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know why you don’t just stay here. The master bedroom is empty.”

  “I’ve got to leave really early in the morning,” he said as we walked back in the house. “I’ve got to catch the red-eye flight so I’m staying down by the airport.”

  I walked him to the front door. “Thanks again for coming dad,” I said as I pulled him into a hug.

  Just then Alex walked into the room. My father extended his hand and Alex shook it. “It was good to see you again, Alex.”

  “You too, Denis,” Alex said with a smile.

  We said good-bye and my father walked out to his rental car.

  “Thanks again for all of this you guys.” I was pulled back into the present by Emily’s voice. “I’ll see you on Friday, right?” she asked me as she headed for the front door.

  “Yep, I’ll be in class,” I answered as I followed her. We said our good-byes and I closed the door. My eyes froze as I turned, caught by my own reflection in the mirror that hung next to the door. Swallowing hard, I tore my eyes away from myself and went to help Alex clean up.

  CHAPTER TWO

  JESSICA

  The rain pounded the pavement, causi
ng steam to rise from its black surface. It drove in a lot of people who normally might not have come into the bookstore. The flash storm had caught everyone by surprise; no one expected it since the sky had been blue and sunny just a half hour before.

  I watched people from the register, eyeing their movements, watching the way they interacted with things, other people. They seemed so different from myself now. They were so normal. They chatted and laughed with their friends. They picked up books, glanced over them, set them back down. They went about their everyday lives like there was nothing that existed outside of the norm. They knew nothing of angels, death, fear. I felt like a stranger in the human race, like I didn’t belong here at all.

  I envied them.

  And yet I could never regret the events that had happened in my life. They had brought more love and joy into my existence than I ever would have imagined possible.

  “Will that be it for you?” I asked as I took the book from the young woman who came up to the counter.

  “Yep,” she said as she smiled kindly at me, her teeth perfectly straight from years of braces. It unnerved me that I could tell she had had them. I shouldn’t notice small details like that so easily.

  “I’ve heard great things about this one,” I tried to make conversation as I swiped her card. I wanted to feel normal. “The sequel is coming out around Christmas.”

  People bustled around the store. The crowd was making me uneasy. They were so loud. I heard every word they were saying, every intake of breath they took it seemed. Every time they swallowed or blinked it sounded like nails scraping against a chalkboard. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to block out the noise I didn’t want to be hearing. The noise I shouldn’t be hearing.

  “Are you alright, dear?” Rita, my motherly boss asked.

  “Yeah,” I said a little too quickly, snapping back to the here and now. “I’ve just got a headache,” I lied. I hadn’t had a headache for four months, since I was nearly dead in Cole’s basement.

  “Why don’t you go take a break for a little bit?” Rita said, her face kind and warm.

  “Okay, thanks,” I said as I stepped aside and let her take over the register.

  People crowded the store, making me dodge them as I worked my way to the back. I nearly knocked a young woman over, her husband catching her before she fell. I smiled with an apology, swallowing the lump that instantly formed in my throat, and stepped out the back door. I sat on the steps and watched the rain pour onto the gravel just a few feet in front of me. My insides felt all twisted up.

  A month or so after everything had happened, I had decided it was time for me to get a job. Alex was plenty willing to provide everything I could ever need but I needed to feel some independence. I had taken care of myself since I was sixteen. Now that I was twenty-one I wasn’t going to revert back. I could take care of myself.

  I supposed pride played a large part in my decision to find a job as well.

  I had also told Alex that I wouldn’t take any money anymore for house sitting since he now lived there and so did I. It felt weird to be getting paid for it.

  Downtown Books was located exactly where it said it was, in the heart of downtown Bellingham. I loved the smell of the place, the feel. I loved my boss and the owner, Rita Baker. She was a quiet, kind woman with wild red hair and vibrant green eyes. I had never heard her say a harsh word or treat someone unfairly. She was as much a mother to me as my own was now. Maybe more so.

  I heard a car pull into the back parking lot and park next to my GTO. I gave a sigh as I realized who it was.

  “Hey, Jessica!” Austin Andrews said with a wide grin as he ran up to the steps to escape the rain.

  “Hey Austin,” I said, giving a halfhearted smile back.

  “Rita said it’s pretty crazy in there. She asked if I could come in and help for a bit.”

  “It’s not really that bad. There’s just a lot of people inside ‘cause of the rain. Not too many people are actually buying anything,” I said, half defending the reason I was sitting outside when Rita felt swamped.

  “Yeah, she always panics when there are more than five people in there at a time,” Austin joked as he walked up the steps. “You coming inside?”

  “I’ll be in in a minute,” I said as I looked back out into the rain. The door slammed shut behind him.

  Austin Andrews was Rita’s nephew. He was a nice guy with brown hair and Rita’s same green eyes. He wasn’t very tall but it was obvious he spent more than a few hours at the gym. He was easy going and easy to get along with.

  Unfortunately Austin was a little too overly anxious to be friendly at times. It was plain to see he was interested. He smiled too much at me, always stood a little too close. I didn’t think he even realized he was stepping over the boundary just a little too much. He knew about Alex and had met him several times. They seemed to get along well enough. Austin didn’t act like he was trying to steal me away; he just wasn’t keeping himself far enough away.

  It was a little annoying but he was still a friend. I could always use more of those.

  The rain started to fade out and within a few minutes it stopped completely. As it did, I went back inside. It would be easier to deal with work without so many people around.

  I got back to what I was supposed to be doing. Rita was best at working the cash register. She was friendly and really knew what she was talking about when it came to books. Me, I did a little better keeping the inventory organized and the shelves stocked.

  I brought a box of books out from the storage room and started putting them on the shelves. I was putting a few books on the religion shelf when the title caught my eye. “Angels: Heaven’s Messengers”. Glancing to make sure no one was watching me, I flipped through the pages.

  Less than sixty seconds later I snapped it shut. No one ever got it right. They all made them out to be wonderful beings with halos and harps that wanted nothing but good for people. No one knew what so many of them were really like.

  I rubbed a hand on the back of my neck without thinking about it as I put the book on the shelf. The X on the back of my neck had long faded into a white scar but it was never going to fade away. It was a permanent part of me whether I liked it or not.

  ALEX

  The place needed a lot of work; there was no question about that. The ancient wallpaper was pealing and torn, the carpet was stained. There was a badly cracked window in one of the bedrooms. The entire place smelled just a little off.

  “The seller is motivated,” the realtor said as we walked back through the kitchen. The man wasn’t what I had expected when I had talked to him on the phone. The guy was probably younger than I was. “It’s a heck of a deal if you’ve got a little extra money to put into fixing up.”

  I nodded as my eyes traveled up, admiring the crown molding. “It’s got potential,” I said as we walked to the living room.

  “So?” he asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

  I nodded again, looking around one last time. “I’ll take it.”

  A huge grin broke onto his face. “Excellent. I’ll call the owner this afternoon and tell her the good news!”

  “Thanks Ryan,” I said as I extended my hand and shook his. His palm was sweaty with nerves. I wondered how long he had had his real estate license. I heard his heart hammering with excitement. “I’ll give you a call tomorrow so we can get all the legal stuff taken care of.”

  Ryan thanked me, gave instructions to lock up when I left, then let himself out the door. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked around the ancient house again.

  My grandfather, Paul Wright, built his empire dealing in real estate. He’d made his first million before he turned thirty and that was even back in his day. The man knew how the market worked, what to invest in and when to get out. He’d had quite the reputation down in California. He’d left me a wide open legacy, passing everything down to me. It was time I started doing something with the knowledge he’d passed on. This house
was the start of that. I’d fix it up and rent it out until the economy recovered enough to sell it.

  The house just seemed to speak to me. It was nearly one hundred years old. It had so much history to it. I wondered about all the children who had been raised in it, how many couples had called this their home. How many lives had been built here.

  My insides knotted up and a lump formed in my throat.

  Pushing those thoughts away, I took one last look around the house and let myself out, locking the door behind me.

  My step faltered when I was halfway to my truck as a whispering piqued my ears. The sound was hurried, chaotic. It wasn’t the sound of a far off conversation I was overhearing. It was coming from within me. The sounds of faraway chuckling caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. The feeling of an ice cold shiver worked its way down my spine.

  As I reached my truck, I braced my hands on the hood, my head hanging. The feeling of darkness started creeping from my chest out toward my limbs. The pull into nothingness was becoming a little stronger every day. My un-beating heart felt like it was sucking the life out of every part of my body. My hands started trembling. I’d be angry at myself later for making a dent in the hood.

  And before I could even think to fight it, my wings burst out of my back, shredding my shirt.

  I’d be grateful later for the fact that this house wasn’t in a high density part of town.

  I gasped for air, I didn’t need it, but it was a natural instinct. My lungs felt squeezed, like they were caving in. My entire body felt like it was collapsing in on itself.

  “No,” I hissed. “You won’t take me.”

  The sound of my phone ringing made me jump. My eyes grew wide in horror as I lost my concentration and my hands disappeared before my eyes. Shaking my head I dug into my pocket and pulled my phone out, hands again visible.

  “Hello?” I said through clenched teeth, my eyes squeezed closed.

  “Hey Alex, its Ted,” my lawyer’s voice came through on the other end. “Can you meet later this afternoon?”

  “Yeah,” I said, my voice tight as I struggled to make it work. “I’ll be there.”