Forsaken

  JESSICA

  “Sorry,” Emily said as she bustled about her small bathroom, prepping her face and hair. “I don’t have too much time before I have to leave.”

  “Where are you going?” I asked as I sat on her bed, watching as she got ready.

  “I have a date tonight,” she said, staring at herself wide-eyed, applying a generous amount of mascara.

  “With the guy you went out with the other night?”

  “No, with some guy I met at the coffee shop today,” she said as she started back in on her hair. “I may hate working there but I do meet a lot of hot guys. Oh yeah, did I tell you I have an interview at the University?”

  “No,” I said as I shook my head.

  “A position came open for a new instructor. I really hope I get it. The athletic center barely covers my rent, and I don’t know how much longer I can handle my boss at the coffee shop. I would miss the guys though,” she said with a little chuckle.

  “What’s with you and this dating spree?” I asked. Emily had been out with a different guy nearly every night for the last two weeks.

  “What? Just because I’ve got a condemned brand on the back of my neck means I can’t date? I’m just sick of hiding away all the time. Besides,” she said as she applied some lipstick. “It’s not like I can ever let it progress very far. How am I supposed to explain the wings and all? It’s not like I can ever actually sleep with any of these guys.”

  I didn’t say anything in response. I wasn’t sure what to say to that.

  “So,” she said as she closed the door slightly. A second later I started blushing when I realized she was going to the bathroom. “Have you thought any more about what I said? About Cole lying about why he came after you?”

  “That’s actually the reason I came over.” I squirmed where I sat, not wanting to talk about this but knowing it was going to drive me mad until I understood the situation fully. “I just can’t make any sense out of it.”

  The toilet flushed and a second later I heard the water as Emily washed her hands. “Well, there’s the fact that you’re human. There’s a starter. Maybe he just wanted that long lost connection.” She opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom, leaning against the doorframe. “But then there must be something about you specifically. I went through the trials too and after discovering that you went through the same thing I did, there must be others out there like us. So it can’t be that simple.”

  “That’s really scary to think about,” I said honestly, my eyes falling to the floor. “Why me?”

  “If this was happening now, I’d say there was no question about it,” she said. “You’re the most unearthly looking human there is on the planet now. But that is only something that’s changed recently. Not that you weren’t beautiful before,” Emily said with an apologetic smile.

  “See, it doesn’t make sense. What was so different about me, so compelling to him that it drew him out into the world of the living?” Goosebumps washed over my skin as I thought about the reasons, even though I had none.

  “I think he was keeping something from you, Jessica. I’m guessing it’s kind of a big deal for a dead angel to chase after you into the real world. There’s got to be more to this.”

  My stomach rolled and my body suddenly felt ice cold.

  A honk from outside brought my head back into the real world.

  “That must be my date,” Emily said, a weird, almost forced smile coming to her lips as she grabbed her purse from off the nightstand. I followed her out to the front step. “Call me if you think of anything. I’m kind of morbidly curious about this now.”

  I gave a chuckle and Emily gave me a quick hug before she locked the door and bounded into a shiny red sports car.

  Ten minutes later I was back in my apartment, digging through my closet. My fingers closed around the manila folder and I pulled it out with shaking hands. Enclosed were the drawings I had done when I was younger. I’d been pretty good but when I realized how much they terrified my mother I’d quit. I hadn’t drawn a thing since.

  Taking a deep breath, I opened the folder and pulled the pages out.

  My mother had been right though. The images of angels, wings, and brands were terrifying. In a beautiful and haunting way.

  Even after everything that had happened, I still couldn’t help but stop and stare at Cole’s beautiful face. His features were stunning in every way. That kind of flawlessness shouldn’t be allowed to exist. But perhaps the more evil or good you are, the more beautiful you are made.

  Why me? I thought as I touched two fingers to the picture. In a way I almost wished I could face Cole, just one more time, and ask him the question that was driving me insane.

  As I heard the door open and close upstairs, I closed the folder and buried it again.

  Alex came down the stairs and pressed a quick kiss to my lips.

  “So how did it go today?” I asked, closing my closet door behind me.

  “Good,” he said, his signature smile beaming from his face. “I told him I’d take it.”

  “That’s awesome!” I said enthusiastically. “I can’t wait to see it.”

  “It needs a lot of work,” he said with a chuckle. “I also spoke with my lawyer. How would you feel about taking a little trip?”

  “A trip?” I asked, raising one eyebrow.

  “Down to the house in southern California?” he said, his smile turning sly as he took my hands in his.

  I couldn’t help but return the smile. “I’ll talk to Rita and see if I can get work off.”

  “Great!” he said as he pressed a kiss to my lips again then headed back upstairs. “I can’t wait for you to see where I grew up.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  JESSICA

  It was strange to realize how tied down I was becoming to my life. It almost felt like a real life. Normal. I had a job I had to get time off of; I had someone who counted on me to help her out every day. I had responsibilities. I suddenly felt so old.

  But Rita had been just fine giving me the three days off, saying it would give the new girl a chance to really get into the swing of things. Emily had easily agreed to help Sal out and Sal had even seemed alright with the arrangement. Maybe she didn’t need me as much as I thought she did.

  Alex had pulled out all the stops and wasn’t holding anything back. He had arranged for a limo to pick us up from the airport.

  “Okay,” I said as I shook my head and slid in beside him. “I haven’t wanted to ask before but I have to ask now. Just how much money did your grandparents leave to you?”

  Alex chuckled as he pressed the button that sent the privacy screen up between us and the driver. “Does it matter?”

  “Of course not,” I defended myself. “This is just so weird for me. I don’t think of you as this super rich guy but then I get these little glimpses and realize there was this whole entirely different part of your life I’ve never really seen.”

  “A lot has changed in the last year or so,” Alex said as he took my hand in his. “It feels like a completely different life.”

  A strange pang formed in my stomach. I had really changed Alex’s life. I’d completely turned it on its head and flipped it around until it didn’t even look the same in any way, shape, or form.

  “Hey,” he said quietly as he placed his hand under my chin and turned my face towards his. “It’s better now.”

  I could only manage a small smile and gave his hand a squeeze.

  As we drove through the canyon, my heart started beating a little bit faster. I had been to Alex’s home town of Laguna Beach twice before, when I had lived in central California myself. It was where Jason, my ex’s, parents lived. I hadn’t exactly been received in a warm manner. They had all thought I was a freak. As it turned out, so did their son.

  The houses started getting bigger and nicer as we kept driving. Finally we turned into a driveway that was meticulously landscaped with palm trees, shrubs, and flowering bushes. My stomach did a strange qu
iver of anticipation.

  The limo pulled into a circular driveway and stopped in front of the gigantic double wooden doors. I simply marveled at the house before us.

  “Welcome to my childhood home,” Alex said with a wide smile as he stepped out of the car and held a hand out for me.

  It was all white with a clay-colored tiled roof. It was hard to tell how big it truly was since it was well hidden behind the landscaping but it looked as if it kept going and going. And to both sides of the house I could see the sandy beach.

  “Wow,” was all I could say as I followed Alex to the front door. He took out a set of keys and unlocked the door. The driver unloaded our bags, Alex tipped him, and then it was just the two of us.

  “Come on,” Alex said as he took my hand in his. “I’ll show you around.”

  The entry way we entered into was dominated by a large abstract sculpture made of a mix of bronze and steel. “I always hated that thing. For some reason my grandpa loved it.”

  “It’s… interesting,” I said with a chuckle.

  We entered into a living room, decorated lavishly but comfortably. Pictures lined the walls, filled with Alex’s face as he grew up. I paused at one, seeing familiar features in the man that looked to be in his thirties.

  “That’s my dad, Keith,” Alex said as he came to my side.

  “I wish I could have met him,” I said quietly as I looked into his father’s brilliant blue eyes. Another pang struck me in the chest. I missed Alex’s blue eyes more than I would ever admit aloud.

  “Me too,” he said. He gave me a sad little smile and grabbed my hand. He pulled me in a different direction. “Here’s the kitchen.”

  “No wonder you like to cook so much,” I chuckled. Any world-class chef would trade his soul for the granite countertops, the huge stainless steel fridge, the stove that had six, seven, eight burners. It made even me drool over it and I didn’t even like to cook.

  “Yeah, I spent a lot of time in here,” Alex said as he ran a hand over the smooth surface of the refrigerator. “Maybe I’ll have to do some remodeling to the kitchen at home. Come on,” he said as he took my hand again and pulled me out of the kitchen. “I’ve got to show you the best part.”

  As I had been looking at the pictures on the wall in the living room I hadn’t even noticed all the French doors that lined the other wall. They opened up onto a huge balcony.

  “Oh my,” I breathed as we stepped outside.

  A light, warm breeze tussled my hair, the scent of the ocean water filling my nose. The balcony stretched about fifteen feet away from the house, a huge swimming pool beyond that, and past that, a perfectly sandy beach and wide open ocean.

  “Why are you living at the house in Washington?” the words slipped out before I even really realized I was saying them.

  Alex chuckled and pulled me into his arms. “Because you’re not here.”

  “I think maybe I could consider relocating,” I said lightly, unable to take my eyes from the ocean view before me.

  “You hate California,” he laughed in my ear. “And besides, your life is there. Our life is there.”

  “I don’t hate California. But you’re right, I would never want to live here again.” I gave a content sigh and closed my eyes, leaning into Alex’s chest. “It is nice to have a vacation together though. It almost feels like we’re a normal couple.”

  Alex gave me a squeeze, pressing his lips to my forehead. “It’s really nice to have you here, Jessica. But I don’t think I could live down here again. The lake is home. It’s where I met you.”

  “What made you leave here and go back to the lake house?” I suddenly asked. Knowing what was here it seemed strange he had left it to go to the dated and much smaller house in Washington.

  “It was hard being here, knowing my grandparents were gone. I didn’t like being in the house alone. It felt so big and empty. And I don’t know, I just always loved the lake house. I needed some peace.”

  “That’s how I ended up there. I just needed an escape,” I said as I burrowed my face further into his chest.

  “See, that’s home,” he said as he pressed another kiss to my forehead.

  We settled into Alex’s old bedroom. I had a good laugh at all the old posters of basketball stars that still lined the walls. Alex reminded me that he hadn’t been back in this house for more than a week or so since high school.

  The next morning Alex headed out to take care of business. All of the houses and apartments his grandfather had owned were managed by one rental agency that had recently gone out of business. It had caused quite a lot of havoc and rather than pay the several thousands of dollars to have his lawyer come down and take care of it all, Alex opted to come and take care of it himself. It was a little weird seeing the business side of him come out.

  With little else to do, I hopped in his grandmother’s small convertible and headed for all the shops along the ocean.

  I squinted in the sun as I walked along the sidewalk. Everything was so bright here. I felt so exposed with the lack of towering evergreens around me. And there were so many people.

  “Where do you want to go for lunch?”

  “Did you hear about Alexis?”

  “I think we should go to that party tonight. We can always sneak out.”

  I was hearing everything. Every conversation that was going on within a fifteen foot radius of me, not a word escaped my ears. I heard every intake of breath, every scratch as fingernails scraped over dried out skin.

  Not even realizing where I was going, I bumped into a young couple. I squeezed my eyes and looked away as I got out of their way, noticing how the young woman was admiring the sparkling rock that was recently placed on her finger. My breathing came in sharp gasps as I pressed my hands to my temples.

  Desperate for some quiet, I ducked into a café that looked to be fairly empty. I ordered a sandwich and a drink and went to sit out on the back deck that over looked the water.

  I took a raged, deep breath in, trying to calm myself down. The looks from the two guys working inside made my stomach squirm. The way my skin glowed in the pounding sun made me all the more uneasy. Maybe coming to California with Alex was a mistake.

  I looked down at the sandwich on my plate and pushed it away. It was a waste of money to get it. I was never hungry anymore. I probably wouldn’t eat more than a few times a week if Alex didn’t make me. Just one more thing that was wrong with me.

  At first I hadn’t noticed the one other person who had been sitting out on the deck. But as I heard his voice coming from behind me, I froze. My palms started sweating and a huge lump formed in my throat. I would recognize that voice anywhere.

  “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later,” he said and I heard a cell phone being hung up.

  I made sure my hair covered my face, was extra self-conscious that the brand wouldn’t be showing. My heart sank into my stomach as I heard him shift, heard the way his breath caught in his throat, heard him stand and take a step towards me.

  “Jessica?”

  I squeezed my eyes closed, swallowing hard.

  “Jessica? Oh my…” he gave a small chuckle. “Is that you?”

  And then he stepped in front of me. Jason Walker, the one who had driven me out of California and into Washington.

  “It is you,” he said with a little chuckle, his dark brown eyes narrowing, the dimple in his right cheek showing. “Hi.”

  “Hi, Jason,” I managed to squeak out.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice coming out more demanding than I hope he had meant it to.

  “Um, on vacation?” I didn’t mean for it to come out like a question.

  “By yourself?” he asked as he sank into the chair across from me. It was amazing how little he had changed in the two or so years since I had seen him last. He still had the same clean-cut brown hair, his dark eyes just as penetrating, his mannerisms exactly the same.

  I shook my head. “No, I’m with someone. You visiting your parents
?”

  “Yeah,” he said as he nodded. His expression was almost puzzled as he looked at me. I saw that same expression cross my face sometimes when I looked at myself in the mirror. “Yeah, I have two weeks off in between semesters so I came down to see them for a bit.”

  I nodded, unsure of what to say. If my nerves were on edge before, they were about to crack now.

  Jason continued to stare at me for several long moments, that same puzzled expression on his face. “You’re different,” he said. His eyes never left my face.

  I didn’t say anything in response.

  “In a good way, I think,” he added.

  I just chuckled and shook my head, my eyes glued to the table between us. I then noticed there was a gold band wrapped around one of his fingers.

  “You’re married?” I asked before I thought about what I was going to say. Guess I could have used a little more tact.

  He glanced down at his hand. “For just over a year now. We met at Stanford.”

  “That was quick,” I said, a bit more sharply than I should have.

  Jason’s eyes narrowed, his expression hardening. “And what about you? How many guys have you scared away since me?”

  My eyes fell to my hands in my lap. I felt like he had punched me in the stomach. “Do you really want to go there, Jason?”

  “Sure, why not? Have you screwed with any other guys lives with your nightmares? Your delusions?”

  “I don’t have them anymore,” I murmured into my lap.

  Jason just chuckled as he looked around us. “Of course. Why am I not surprised?”

  I ground my teeth together, my fists forming into hard balls. I felt the hairs around my brand stand on end. From somewhere inside the café I thought I heard someone say “Are you going to let him treat you like this?”. But then, why would someone say something in that context, right at that moment? I must have been imagining it.

  “There is someone, you know,” I said as I finally looked up to meet him in the eye. His smug look fell just slightly. “And he’s far better to me than you ever could have hoped to be.”