Redemption

  Tara shouted his name again and Jimmy sighed. “Duty calls. I’ll leave you to it.” He smiled and, reluctantly, walked away.

  “Come here, pumpkin.” My dad raced over and took me in his arms. “Why have you been avoiding us?” he whispered in my ear.

  I stiffened and looked across at my mother, but she had her eyes fixed on something else…or someone else. “That’s why.” She gritted her teeth and glared at Dean as he came down the stairs.

  My mother was about to shout, but Dean put his hand up. “Please. I’ve just gotten Jeremy off to sleep. I know you—”

  “What? You know what?” My mother was getting herself all in a fluster. She turned to me. “What is this, Tyler? Explain.”

  I knew I kept saying it, but fucking shit with a cherry on top.

  “Erm.” I didn’t know what to say at first. My tongue was all twisted in my mouth. I knew this conversation was coming, but I certainly didn’t expect it to be now.

  Sensing my unease, Dean came rushing over and placed an arm over my shoulder. My mother’s nostrils flared, which probably wasn’t the best of signs, but knowing Dean was there to support me gave me strength.

  “I know you must be angry…,” I began.

  “Angry?” my mother spat. “Why on earth would I be angry, Tyler? This man, who has his arm around you, stalked you for years, broke into your house, and got you so scared, you had to fake your own death and move thousands of miles away. Why would I be angry about something like that?”

  Dean placed his hand out in a calming gesture. “Mrs. O’Shea, I know this is a lot to take in, but I would never, ever hurt your daughter. She is my number one priority. She always has been.”

  My mother huffed. “Do you hear that, Derren? Apparently, the guy who frightened our daughter to death and caused her to break away from her family tells us that Tyler is his number one priority. Isn’t that just peachy?”

  My father was about to answer, but Dean cut in, “I screwed up, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to Tyler. To try and make it up to you.”

  My mother clenched her fists. “You’re dangerous, Dean. You always have been. You’ve carried on in your parents’ footsteps, and now you’re bringing that to my daughter’s door. How could you?”

  Dean looked at my father for a moment. He wasn’t saying anything, which meant he clearly wasn’t as angry as my mother right now. I hoped I had an ally in him, but I wasn’t too sure where my mother was concerned.

  “I’m done with that life, Mrs. O’Shea. It was never one I wanted to be born into in the first place. I couldn’t help who my parents were.”

  My mother shook her head in dismay. “No, but you could have helped the way you treated Tyler. You could have been the braver man and just left well enough alone.”

  Dean nodded. “You’re right, Mrs. O’Shea. You’re right. But there is one thing you’re wrong about. I love Tyler. I can’t breathe without her. Can’t you see that by now? Didn’t you see it when we were kids? The way I looked at her? It was almost like I couldn’t see unless my eyes met hers. It didn’t matter though, did it? My parents were always going to get in the way of me loving your daughter because they sealed my fate. No matter what I did, you always chose Ian. Look at what he did to her.”

  My mother inhaled sharply. “Don’t you dare bring him into this, Dean. I can admit I was wrong about Ian, and that I pushed Tyler towards him rather than you, but only because I thought he truly loved her. Only because I thought you would bring danger to her. I’m not stupid. I know she always favored you over him, but I acted on the interests of my daughter. I always have and I always will. Just because she is an adult doesn’t stop me from being a mother.”

  Her voice broke a little and I knew it was my time to step in. Grabbing her hand, I squeezed it a little. “All my life, you have tried to make choices for me.” My mother opened her mouth to speak, but I squeezed her hand again. “It’s okay, Mum. I know the reason why and I truly love you for it. But you have to realize something. I was miserable when you pushed me towards Ian, and I was heartbroken when Dean left. I fell in love the moment I met him. It had never changed for me. It will never change for me. I know you’re angry that I feel this way. You’re angry that Dean was the cause of me fleeing all those years ago, but all I ever ran away from was my feelings. Dean never left me, Mum. He was always in here.” I placed her hand on my heart. “He’s never left. And asking me to be without him is like asking me to be without the fundamental things that keep me alive. Despite everything he’s done, I love him.” I looked over at Dean and smiled through my tears. “I love him.” We stared at one another for a couple of seconds and I was lost in those deep blue eyes.

  My mother suddenly broke away, throwing her hands up in the air. They came down, clapping against her thighs as she shook her head. She walked off and sat down on the sofa. My father went to join her, and he placed his hand on hers and looked up at us.

  “You have to understand how much this affects your mother, Tyler. Every day, she tortures herself wondering whether you’re safe…wondering whether you are happy.”

  I sighed and felt like shit. I knew my mother cared for me deeply, and I knew both my parents would do anything for me. I had been truly grateful, but they needed to understand something. “I’m so sorry. I know that you’re just being parents, and I will be forever grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but I have to be honest. I was never happy. I haven’t been happy since I was sixteen. I’m happy now. Now that I’ve learned to let go of the past, I feel euphoric. I don’t know where today, tomorrow, or the next day will lead me, but if Dean is with me, that is all that matters.” I saw the resolution in my parents’ eyes. I hated saying that, but I had to be honest. I needed them to know.

  “When Dean left, I cried into my pillow every night for over a year.” My mother looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I never told anyone how I felt because I knew I was all alone. I couldn’t talk to anyone.” I felt Dean squeeze my shoulder as he offered me a gentle smile. I could tell this affected him, but he needed to hear this, too. He needed to see that I had always been the girl he fell in love with. That part of me had never changed.

  “Every time the phone rang, my heart would leap into my mouth, hoping it was Dean. Every time the doorbell rang, a letter would come, or a noise would sound against my window, I always hoped and prayed it would be Dean.”

  My father shot up. “I knew something fishy was going on in your room.”

  Oops, let that one slip.

  I sighed. “Yes, Dean used to climb up to my window, but it was only to be with me. He never…,” I looked away for a moment, feeling my cheeks redden, “touched me. He was always waiting for me.”

  My mother placed her hands on her face and shook her head. “This is just a nightmare.” She looked up. “I’ve entered a nightmare.”

  Dean stepped forward. “Mrs. O’Shea, I would never hurt your daughter. I promise you.”

  My mother huffed. “Too late, Dean. You already did. And whatever happened to Ian? I don’t believe for one second that he fled, never to return. There’s not been one single word from him since that night.”

  I saw Dean’s nostrils flare. “And you care…why? Do you realize what he did to Tyler? Do you realize what kind of monster he was all along?”

  My mother glared. “And I suppose you’re whiter than white, Dean?”

  He pursed his lips for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I have never pretended to be anything other than what I am. I’m not proud of what I’ve become, and I’m certainly not proud of the hurt I’ve caused Tyler. My intentions with her were always honorable. It was only the lies Ian unleashed that made me believe she had betrayed me. I was wrong. I was pathetic and I’ll forever be so damn sorry for what I did to her. I will always love her and promise to protect her every day until my last dying breath. I will never allow anything to happen to Tyler. She is my world, and nothing can take that away from me.”

  My mothe
r’s glare was resolute. “What happened to Ian, Dean?” She then looked over at me and I quickly averted my eyes. “What…happened?”

  Dean sighed. “Ian’s gone and will never get a chance to hurt Tyler again. I can promise you that.”

  My mum sighed. “You killed him.” I was about to retort when she looked up at me. “And you want to live with a man who lives his life like this? You want to bring Jeremy into this lifestyle? I thought it was why you ran away.”

  Dean inhaled deeply and was about to reply when I placed my hand on his arm. “I did run away because of that, but I can’t help the way I feel. I can’t help the fact that throughout my whole life, Dean has been the only man at the forefront.” I looked at my dad and smiled. “Apart from you, Dad.”

  He smiled back, but my mother still wasn’t happy. “Don’t you understand how being with him puts you all in danger?”

  Dean stepped forward. “I completely understand your concerns, Mrs. O’Shea, but I’m done with that life. Tyler and Jeremy are my priorities now. I’m leaving that life behind and not giving it a second glance.”

  My mother shrugged. “So you’re just going to pack everything up in England and move over here to be with Tyler and Jeremy.”

  Dean nodded. “Yes. I’ll go wherever Tyler goes. I always have.” Dean smiled at me and put an arm around me.

  “Don’t joke about these things, Dean. It still doesn’t take away the fact that you hurt my daughter deeply. You didn’t see the pain I had to look at that night she came to me after everything that happened. You took my daughter away from me. You took away my chance of watching my grandson grow up every day. You have always been the cause of so much destruction and heartache.” My mum put her head down in sorrow.

  Dean gripped my shoulder a little. I wasn’t sure whether it was to comfort me or whether my mother’s confession was affecting him.

  “I know you won’t believe me, but every day since that night, I have punished myself over and over again. Living with what I’ve done is nothing short of unbearable for me. I will never forgive myself for treating Tyler the way I did, so I completely understand that you feel the same way. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I love Tyler and Jeremy. I’ll protect them until my dying breath, and I don’t think you will ever find another man out there who feels as strongly as I do about them. They are my life. Jeremy is my flesh and blood, and I will do whatever it takes to keep them both safe.”

  My father sighed. “There’s no denying that, Dean. I can tell how you feel about Tyler. I’ve seen it in your face ever since you were a boy, but you can understand how we would have doubts. You can understand that we will worry about our daughter…and our grandson.”

  Dean nodded. “That goes without saying, Mr. O’Shea. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. But, like I said to Tyler not so long ago, I will do anything and everything she asks. I will abide by everything and anything you ask…except letting Tyler go. I can’t stop loving her, and I’ll be damned if I ever let her go again. Tyler is my oxygen. I just can’t live without her.”

  My father stared at Dean for a moment, then looked at me. “And you feel the same way?”

  I nodded. “Of course. I always have, Dad. I appreciate that it will take time to adjust and heal, but I won’t be able to heal without him. I’m just hoping, in time, you’ll get to see that, too.”

  My father nodded resolutely. He looked sad and I hated that. “Then there’s nothing further to discuss here.” He looked down at my mother. “Clara, I think we’ve gotten our answers. There’s nothing else that can be done.”

  My mother looked up in shock. “But…but…how can you say that? He brings danger to our family. Danger to us all! He stalked our daughter, plagued her for years, and god knows how he got her knocked up!”

  I looked away. I could never explain to them the circumstances over the conception of Jeremy. It just seemed a little too sordid to me. How could I explain what went on between us all those years ago?

  “Mum, please don’t upset yourself. I’m a grown woman now. I need to make my own decisions.”

  My mother was about to speak, but my dad beat her to it, “She’s right, Clara. Tyler is a grown woman with a family of her own to take care of. She has to make her own decisions, and we have to trust that she is making them for the best.”

  My mother sighed, got up, and shook her head. “I don’t believe this.” She rushed out the door without a backwards glance.

  “Thank you.” Dean smiled at my father.

  My father looked back at him with a stern face. “That doesn’t mean I’m happy about this, Dean. If you make my daughter happy, who am I to try and take that away from her? But, by fuck, if you ever so much as breathe at her in the wrong direction, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. You got that?”

  My eyes widened in shock. I had never seen my father like this before. It was even the first time I’d ever heard him swear.

  “Message received loud and clear, Mr. O’Shea. I promise you that you never have to worry as far as I’m concerned. I worship the ground your daughter walks on.”

  My father nodded. “Well, just make sure to keep it that way.”

  Dean nodded and my father turned to me. “Now, I have some damage control to take care of.” He gave me a small smile and turned towards the door.

  Once he was there, I stopped him. “I know this is hard for you, but I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time.”

  My father gently placed his finger under my chin and gave me a sad smile. “I know you are, pumpkin. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  I smiled back. “I know, and I’m so sorry that I’m putting you through this…” I looked away.

  “Hey.” My father pulled my head back to look at him. “How can you ever feel sorry for falling in love? You can’t force your feelings, Tyler. I’m just so sorry that everything happened the way it did. Maybe if we hadn’t pushed you…”

  “Don’t you start, Dad.” I chuckled and he laughed back. “We can all stand around saying what if, but it will never solve anything. It will never stop the outcome for Dean and me.”

  He nodded with a smile. “I understand.”

  I suddenly realized I had no idea when they arrived or how long they were staying. “How long are you here for?”

  My father sighed. “We haven’t really worked that out yet. I think your mother wants to see Emily before we fly back.” I nodded with a sad smile. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Tyler. Give her time. She just needs to adjust. I think we both do.”

  I nodded again and came in for a hug. “Thanks, Dad. I miss you and think about you all the time.” I inhaled the scent on his chest and nuzzled my face in the crook of his neck. I had always been a daddy’s girl.

  My father kissed my forehead and pulled away. “I miss you and think about you all the time, too. Take care, Tyler. We’ll be in touch.” He smiled at me and looked up at Dean. He gave him a cursory nod and walked out the door.

  Once I closed it behind me, I slumped against it and sighed. I closed my eyes for a moment before looking at Dean. “I’m sorry about that.”

  Dean laughed a little. “Tyler, it had to be done. I’m just so fucking sorry I never stepped up to the plate and did it seventeen years ago.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Stepped up to the plate?”

  Dean shook his head with a smile. “You know what I mean.”

  I sighed and placed my arms around him, closing my eyes. “What’s done is done. We’re here now and we’re together. Everything is how it should be.”

  Dean tightened his arms around me. “It is, but we’re not quite there yet.”

  Stunned, I pulled back to look at him. “What do you mean?”

  Dean smiled and winked at me. “I’m working on it, Tyler, but let’s just enjoy what we have for now.” He saw my expression and shook his head. “Don’t give me the puppy dog look. I’m not going to tell you, so you better quit.”

  I was about to tell h
im that he was an ass when Tara and Jimmy timidly emerged. “Is everything okay?” Tara asked.

  I smiled. “Everything’s fine. I think we all need a little time, but I’m sure we’ll get there.”

  Jimmy’s posture picked up. “So your parents haven’t castrated my man here?”

  I laughed. “No.”

  Jimmy shook his head. “Damn fucking shame.”

  Dean breathed in deeply. “You watch yourself, skinny dick.”

  Jimmy smiled back. “Tosser.”

  “Butt cheek face.”

  “Dick licker.”

  “Turd brain.”

  “Nimrod.”

  “Cock sucker.”

  I threw my hands in the air. “Will you two cut that shit out?!” I sighed and shook my head towards Tara. All Dean and Jimmy did was laugh.

  “Men!” Tara shouted. “Sometimes they never grow up.” She laughed and I nodded.

  Jimmy walked up behind Tara, placed his arms around her, and nibbled at her neck. “Yes, but where would you be without us, baby?”

  Tara gave him a playful slap, but you could tell it was half-hearted. She was smitten with Jimmy. I would laugh about it, but I was just so glad she had found someone who I knew would love her and take care of her with everything he had. Tara needed that now. She had been through too much.

  I smiled in their direction, then turned to Dean. “How was Jeremy?”

  Dean smiled. “He was a little upset about the whole puking thing, but I told him everything was okay and that I was sorry I had gotten carried away.”

  “What did he say?”

  Dean’s smile was even brighter this time. “He told me that being with me was so much fun and he loved having me around.”

  I sighed as my happiness consumed me. I wasn’t lying when I said that letting go made me feel euphoric. Everything seemed so perfect, and I was loving every minute of it.

  *****

  Later that night, after chatting for a few hours outside, we went to bed. It was nice having a full house. I loved knowing I was never lonely. There was always someone around whenever I needed them now. It made me feel wanted.