Out of the Earth
was to prevent the Black Fear thatwe would turn off the lamps gradually instead of all at once. Butanyway, it was better to get the Black Fear for a few hours than to useup all of the oil and have the Groles come.
When we started walking again, Doctor Dorn and Bruno went first, thenRalf and Mari, then Theodor. Nina and I walked last. It is frighteningto be last with the blackness behind. Later, we will have a differentposition, and others will take our place.
We have walked for many hours. Now we have stopped for sleep and onlythe two guard lamps are burning. The light they make is hardly enough towrite by. When I look up and see the terrible blackness in the passagebefore and behind us, a strange and awful feeling seems to form inside.This may be the beginning of Black Fear. I think it is better that Istop writing now. I want to hold Nina in my arms and sleep with thewarmth of her life close to me.
* * * * *
Second Awake, 3 Juli 2207
Since last sleep, the hours have been slow and the walk long, but BlackPassage remains the same. Doctor Dorn thinks there may be no change formany awakes and sleeps.
To walk in silence except for the sound of our steps becomes a fearsomething, so we talk much. Doctor Dorn tells us interesting things thathave happened while he was Physician to the Supreme Council. When hedoes this, we do not think so much of what may be ahead for us.
There is something of a strangeness about Bruno, the ore-miner whokilled his foreman. Although he rests when we rest, and sleeps when wesleep, the feeling comes that he is not with us. He walks always firstwith Doctor Dorn, and says nothing.
Sometimes Mari and Nina walk together and talk about woman things. Mariis twenty-two, three years older than Nina, and even though she has beenmarried to Ralf for only five years, she has almost borne life once.Nina said it must be wonderful to bear life, and Doctor Dorn heard herand said she had the look of one who might bear life herself some day,perhaps even before she was twenty-five. Nina was very thrilled.
But it is strange to talk of a time so far ahead. The mind forgetssometimes there may be only a few awakes and sleeps left to all ourlives.
One feels a great sorrow for Theodor. He does not have someone who is apart of him the way I have Nina and Ralf has Mari, and he does not havethe strength of heart of Doctor Dorn or Bruno. Fear seems to hold hismind more than any of us. Many times Nina or Mari, or Ralf or I, walkbeside him so he will not have to walk alone always. But when we speakto him he almost never answers.
* * * * *
Third Awake, 4 Juli 2207
Another sleep has come and our tiredness is greater. Doctor Dorn thinkswe are about twenty-five miles from Lost City.
After an hour of the walk, we turned off one of the lamps, leaving onlythree on, and the blackness of the passage seemed to jump in toward us.It is like a live and evil thing, the blackness, running in fear fromthe light before us, yet following so closely behind. Sometimes I cannothelp feeling that, like the Groles, it is just waiting for our last lampto go out so it can rush in and kill us. In one thing we have beenfortunate. Even with only three lamps lighted no one has had the BlackFear. But after this sleep we will burn only two lamps and again theblackness will move closer. It is not a pleasant thought to sleep with.
* * * * *
Fourth Awake, 5 Juli 2207
Except for the greater darkness because of only two lamps, all is thesame. It is strange not to have the City Signals to tell us when tosleep and when to awake. Because we have only our tiredness to measureawakes and sleeps, I am no longer sure the date I write above is theright one.
We do not talk as much now. All of our strength must be used forwalking.
* * * * *
Fifth Awake, 6 Juli 2207
One of the lamps went out while we were walking, this awake. Although wewere able to light it again in a few seconds, we could not help thinkinghow the Groles might have come if the other lamp hadn't been burning.
Doctor Dorn says our tiredness is so great because we eat so little ofthe food. It is very hard to be careful when one remains so hungry; yetnot knowing how many days are before us in Black Passage makes the mindfearful and the will strong.
* * * * *
Seventh Awake, 8 Juli 2207
This awake, Theodor had the Black Fear. We had to hold one of the lampsin front of his eyes for more than an hour before he was able to stoptrembling. Then it was almost another hour before he was able to go on.
* * * * *
Eleventh Awake, 12 Juli 2207
Sleep follows sleep and nothing changes. Sometimes I feel that we havenot moved at all, that we are still just outside Last City. Yet DoctorDorn says we have come almost one hundred miles.
* * * * *
Twelfth Awake, 13 Juli 2207
Just before this sleep we emptied our shoulder packs to see how muchfood and water we have used. Most of us have used about one-fourth ofwhat we have been given. Doctor Dorn says this is not bad, but we mustlearn to use even less. Theodor has much more food left than any of us.This is not surprising, because during rests he eats almost nothing.
It is the little oil we have left that worries Doctor Dorn. He does notbelieve there will be enough for even ten more awakes and sleeps. Wewould use less oil if we burned only one lamp, but it would be aterrible chance. We remember how a lamp went out several awakes ago.
* * * * *
Fourteenth Awake, 15 Juli 2207
There was much trouble during our last sleep. Soon after sleep had come,a terrible cry awoke us again. My mind first had the thought that thelamps had gone out and the Groles had come. But both lamps were stillburning, and near one of them, we could see Bruno and Theodor strugglingtogether on the floor of the passage. Bruno's hands were aroundTheodor's throat, and Theodor was no longer able to make any sounds.Bruno is terribly strong, and Ralf and I and Doctor Dorn had to use allof our own strength to force his hands away. Doctor Dorn asked Bruno whyhe had done this, and Bruno pointed to where his shoulder pack was lyingopen, and said, "He was stealing." These were the only words he had saidfor a long time. When Theodor stopped choking and was able to speakagain, Doctor Dorn asked him if what Bruno had said was true. Theodorsaid no, and Doctor Dorn said he should look directly into his eyes andanswer again. Theodor said he was sleepy and his throat hurt and hedidn't want to talk any more. Doctor Dorn gave a big sigh, and said heunderstood. He said Theodor must promise never to steal again. If hedidn't promise, or if he broke his promise, then perhaps the next timeBruno tried to kill him, we might not hear him in time. Theodor becamevery frightened, and said all right, he promised.
When we were going back to sleep, Nina told me she had wondered whyTheodor slept each time near someone else. He had probably thought bytaking a little from each one of us, his stealing would not be noticed.
* * * * *
Seventeenth Awake, 18 Juli 2207
The awakes and sleeps pass again and everything is as it was, exceptthat our food and oil becomes less, and our tiredness greater. Severaltimes during our walk we have found a little water in the passage. Howwonderful it would be if we could so easily find more food and oil.
Although Bruno shows no sign that he wants to hurt Theodor again,Theodor is still terribly frightened of him, and stays as far from himas possible. Before each sleep, Doctor Dorn makes Theodor open hisshoulder pack and show him the food he has left. His food is being usedup as fast as ours is now.
* * * * *
Eighteenth Awake, 19 Juli 2207
Eighteen awakes and sleeps we have walked in Black Passage. To the mind,it is forever.
The passage has begun to climb a little. This is not a good thing.
* * * * *
Nineteenth Awake, 20 Juli 2207
&
nbsp; I write this during rest.
We have come to a Dead City. No lamps are lighted in the dark streetpassages and all the cubicles are empty. We have found many otherpassages going out of the City, and we must now decide which is the bestto try. I do not think this will be difficult. One of the passages seemsnewer than any of the others, much newer and larger than Black Passagethrough which we have walked for so long. There are lamps in thispassage, and even though they are not lighted, they would not have beenput there unless the passage went to some other City. Although thisother city may be dead also, hope is now a little greater. Doctor Dorncalls this passage Hope Passage. Another thing that adds to hope is theway the passage goes down so steeply.
Hope Passage was found many hours ago, sleep time has now come, and yeta decision has not been made. Much of this is because of Nina. Althoughshe has spoken very little, the things she has said have made DoctorDorn behave very strangely.
When he asked each of us if we thought Hope Passage would be the bestone to follow, everyone but Nina said yes right away. Even Bruno nodded.But when he asked Nina, she did not answer so quickly. Then she said