Out of the Earth
ifwe all thought Hope Passage was the best, it was probably so.
But Doctor Dorn was not satisfied. Did she not think so herself, heasked. Was there something about Hope Passage she did not like? Wasthere some other passage she thought might be better?
I could feel Nina's fingers tighten on my arm the way they did whenevershe became very frightened or worried or disturbed. It was not somethingher mind thought, she said. It was just a feeling she had which shecouldn't understand or explain.
Doctor Dorn's voice became very gentle. He said Nina shouldn't try tounderstand or explain her feeling. But would she try to describe what itwas like, even a little.
Nina looked at me very troubled and I put my arm around her shoulders,and said she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to. But then shetook a little breath and said in a very low voice that as far back asshe could remember, even when she was a tiny girl, she always had a goodfeeling when she was going up and a bad feeling when she was going down.It was a strange way to be, she knew, and she had never told anyonebefore. But that was why she did not like Hope Passage, which went downso fast. The passage she had liked best was the one near the old statue.The way it went up gave her a good feeling.
Doctor Dorn asked didn't she know the passage by the statue was theoldest one we had found, and therefore it should have the smallestchance of going to a live city.
Nina said she knew, and her mind understood everything Doctor Dorn said.But the things her mind knew and understood were not able to change theway she felt. She said she was sorry she had made us all lose so muchtime. She would not talk about it any more.
Doctor Dorn asked Nina would she please answer just one more question.Did she have this good feeling while we were walking up the little climbnear the end of Black Passage.
Nina nodded her head yes, and Doctor Dorn said it was very interesting.Then in a different voice, he said that Hope Passage was our best chanceof finding life, and after this sleep we would continue our walk there.
* * * * *
Twentieth Awake, 21 Juli 2207
A few hours ago we said goodbye to Ralf and Mari and Bruno, and watchedthem start down Hope Passage. I think they may find life again soon.
Even now, I do not understand clearly why we are not with them; why weare climbing in this old rough passage which rises so steeply we muststop every little while to rest.
Many thoughts must have come to Doctor Dorn during our last sleep,because when we awoke he was different from any way he had been before.For a little while, he just walked up and back rubbing his chin as if hewere thinking very hard. Then all of a sudden he stopped and came overto Nina. He asked Nina whether if we were not here, if she had to decideonly for herself, knowing all he had told her, would she still take theold passage?
Nina said yes, she would. Doctor Dorn sat down. He said he was going tosay strong words. He was going to tell us some of the things he had readin the Forbidden Books.
For thousands of years Man had first lived on Earth Surface, the bookssaid. But then great wars had come and Man had studied hard and learnedways to kill each other millions at a time. But some of the men who didnot want to die had dug deep into the earth to live. Everyone in theearth, the books said, came from these first men from Earth Surface.
Doctor Dorn stopped to let us think about what he had told us. _EarthSurface_--nothing above but nothing--and nothing beyond nothing--thethought is more than the mind can hold. That men could have lived onsuch a place is too much to be believed.
There were some things written in the Forbidden Books that could not betrue, Doctor Dorn said, like the plants called trees that grew to bemany times taller than a man; or lakes called oceans that were largerthan a thousand Red Lakes together. But even though these and some otherthings the books said were not possible, there was something about thestory of men living on Earth Surface that made him wonder. All sleep hehad not slept, but had thought how the old passage we had found near thestatue might be one of the surface passages the books told about. Hecould not imagine any City in the Earth building a passage so steep andso rough.
Doctor Dorn stopped talking for a moment, and he looked at me. He seemedvery excited. "Jon," he said, "my own feeling now is to take SurfacePassage. I cannot do this alone with one lamp. You know how Nina feels.Will you and Nina come with me?"
My thoughts must have been like those of the lost-mind men in thehospital at Central City. Even now I do not know why I said we would.Maybe it was because of the way Nina's eyes shone when Doctor Dorntalked about Earth Surface. Nina is a wonderful girl and I love hervery much, but sometimes I think I do not understand her completely.
Ralf and Mari talked together for a long time. Then Ralf told DoctorDorn he thought Hope Passage was the best chance for finding life. Theywould not come with us.
Doctor Dorn said he understood. He was sorry we had to separate now, buteach must do what was in his own thoughts and heart. Then he asked Brunoif he was coming with us, and Bruno shook his head no, and did not sayanything.
Theodor thought for even a longer time than Ralf and Mari. He keptbiting the nails on his fingers and every little while his eyes wouldlook at Bruno. I knew he was afraid to come with us; but also he wasafraid to be alone with Bruno with only Ralf to help him if anythinghappened. Finally, in a very low voice, he said he would come with us.
Doctor Dorn said fine, now there was one more thing we must do before westarted. We must take the oil from one of the lamps and put it in theother six lamps so there would be the same amount in each one. Then eachgroup would take three lamps.
Theodor said this was not fair. There were four of us so we should havefour lamps. Doctor Dorn said four people needed no more light than threepeople.
It was very sad when we had to separate. Mari and Nina cried a little.For a long time after we found Surface Passage and were climbing in it,no one said anything. Perhaps after next sleep, our sadness may be less.
* * * * *
Twenty-First Awake, 22 Juli 2207
The passage is still climbing and we rest often. I write a little duringsome of our rests.
* * * * *
There is very little oil left. Doctor Dorn says we must take a dangerouschance. No lamp has gone out for a long time. If we burn only one lamp,we can have light for almost four more awakes and sleeps. If this isreally a Surface Passage, and if what is written in the forbidden booksis true, this time may be enough for us to reach Earth Surface.
We have been burning only one lamp since our last rest. How bright doesthe light from the two lamps seem now. Nina says she feels she can reachout and touch the blackness.
Theodor is very frightened. Over and over he says we must go back andtake the other passage, that if we go on we shall all be dead bones. Ithink Doctor Dorn would become angry if he did not understand howfrightened Theodor is.
During rest, Theodor spoke words that made Nina feel very sad. He saidit was because of her that we would all die. I became very angry, andtold him if he said anything like that again, I would finish what Brunohad started. He knows I would not do this, but now he talks very little.
* * * * *
Twenty-Second Awake, 23 Juli 2207
We walk up Surface Passage still, but there is a difference. Before lastsleep there was much hope in our hearts. Now our hope is almost nothing.
It was Nina who knew first. She brought me out of sleep, shaking myshoulder and saying my name, until my mind was awake enough tounderstand.
Theodor was gone!
He had left us the one lamp that was burning. The other two lamps he hadtaken; and all of our food and water. But our hunger may never becometoo great. With one lamp, there will be light until only a few hoursafter next sleep.
Doctor Dorn blames himself. He says he should have been able to tellthat Theodor might do something like this. But Doctor Dorn feels thesame tiredness that is in us all, making our thou
ghts like shadows.
Sleep time has come, but we do not stop. We will walk on and rest whenwe must. When the end of life is so near, the will finds strength.
* * * * *
Twenty-Third Awake, 24 Juli 2207
We have walked through sleep and we have slept while we walked. The riseis steeper. Our oil lamp is still burning and our shadows fall behind usinto the blackness. There will be light for perhaps ten more hours.
There is a dampness now in the passage, like that of the passage to RedLake. Our tiredness is so great we become afraid sometimes that afterone of our rests we may not be able to go on. I am worried about Nina.She says nothing, but I think for a long while now she has been walkingon heart strength alone. We have seven hours of light before us.
The passage has ended. For a moment the thought came that we were onEarth Surface. But Doctor Dorn says we are in a great cavern, largereven than the Cavern of Red Lake. Our one light is as nothing in thisgreat blackness, and we walk close to the wall so we will not becomelost. In some places the walls are like