Midnight Flight

  a burden. You'll either be cast off or you'll learn to

  walk an your own. Sink or swim." she said, her face

  now turning cool. When she called for it, that iciness

  seemed to emerge from within her, rise to the surface

  of her face, penetrate her eyes, tighten her lips, and

  make her look taller. More intimidating.

  I glanced again at the other two Despite the brave fronts they were putting on. I sensed they were just as anxious about all this as I was. I noticed as well that the three young women behind Dr. Foreman had grown still again. had barely moved a muscle since she had looked at them. How could they be so

  disciplined? They were three statues.

  How much longer would we be kept here? I

  wondered. It was dank and musty, the air so stale my

  throat ached. Why did we have to begin in such a

  place anyway? The stool was uncomfortable. The

  lighting was dull. What was the point of having us sit

  at old grade-school desks? I was still tired and achy

  from my unpleasant trip. I couldn't wait to go to sleep

  in a bed and I had to go to the bathroom. but I was

  afraid to mention it yet. I didn't want to be the first

  one.

  "To be sure you are making the right amount of

  effort at your schoolwork, you will be tested from

  time to time on your academic subjects, and if you

  don't pass, you will be given demerits," Dr. Foreman

  explained.

  "Demerits?" Teal said. smirking. "What does

  that mean, we won't get our Girl Scout patches and

  medals?'

  "No, my dear," Dr. Foreman responded. "Nothing that important. You are all as of now under my merit system. Since you have all been brought here as a last resort because of your antisocial behavior, you will all be beginning with a minus ten and have to work your way back up to zero before you

  can even hope to achieve rights and privileges." That did sound threatening.

  "What rights and privileges?" I asked. "Well, for one thing, you will have to wear

  what you're wearing until you achieve the points to

  wear my school uniforms."

  "What are we wearing? This is disgusting,"

  Teal complained. "Not only are these... these rags

  irritating my skin, they smell, and why do we have to

  wear diapers. for Christ sakes? I want my clothes

  back."

  "Yes. I'm sorry about these transitional outfits.

  They do have that unpleasant odor." Dr. Foreman

  sounded sympathetic. She also made it sound as if

  there were no other choice. I finally saw the three

  rottweilers soften their lips into a smile,

  "But why are we wearing diapers?" Robin

  asked.

  "Because, my dear, you are being reborn.

  Unfortunately, none of you have shown enough maturity to be considered anything but infants, and until you do, that's how you will be treated." Dr. Foreman said firmly, losing the smile. Then she blossomed into another to add. "Believe me, my dear,

  you'll be grateful you have them on."

  The slight smiles on the three young women

  behind her widened almost into laughter when she

  said that.

  "That's cold," Teal said. "And disgusting. I feel

  like some old lady with bladder trouble. I want my

  clothing back. They were expensive, especially the

  designer jeans. You have no right to take them away

  from me. Why can't we all have our clothes back?"

  she whined, now sounding more like a spoiled child

  than a defiant teenager.

  "I've already given that answer. One thing you

  will learn and learn very quickly here, Teal, is if I or

  anyone else has to repeat something to you, it's

  because you don't or won't listen, and that will result

  in a demerit."

  "I don't care about any demerits. I want my

  clothing!" Teal shouted back. Her voice echoed off

  the cement walls and then died as if her words were

  smashed to bits, the letters splattered and then raining

  dawn to the dank concrete floor.

  Dr. Foreman took a step toward her. "Oh, but

  you will care, my dear. That will be one of the

  significant changes in you very soon." she said

  slowly, her voice so full of chill. I imagined the words

  turning to ice in the air between them. Even the cold

  smile disappeared.

  "I want to go home," Teal cried back at her.

  "Right now,"

  "Do you? Unfortunately for you, for all of you,

  no one wants you back. Teal. In fact. I'm the only one

  who wants you."

  "How long do I have to stay here, live on your

  ranch, and milk cows or whatever?" Teal was

  definitely someone who couldn't stand being bossed

  around,

  "That's entirely up to you." Dr. Foreman

  replied. "Now then, there will be no more questions."

  She turned to Robin and me. "No more questions from

  any of you. You will all just listen and you will do

  what you are told to do. Listen well, girls," she added,

  her cold smile returning to those lips. "Be keen, girls,

  be keen. Your comfort and happiness depend on it

  like they never have before."

  She stepped back, glanced at the young women

  behind her, who looked excited about her firmness. I wouldn't admit it, of course, but they frightened me. I wondered if Robin's and Teal's hearts were pounding as hard as mine was now, despite the brave face

  masks they wore.

  We were all brought here more or less against

  our will. Dr. Foreman was probably not wrong about

  that. We had no one out there to help us, no one to

  call, no one to come for us. I couldn't help feelingthat I was dangling in space, holding on to a thin piece

  of spidery web that this strange woman, sometimes

  sounding nice, sometimes sounding scary, held at the

  other end. If she decided to let go, I. as well as Robin

  and Teal, would fall into some darker place. What else

  could we do but listen?

  "Now, so there are no misunderstandings and

  no whining like we're hearing." Dr. Foreman said,

  glaring at Teal again. "let me be clear about what you

  should expect after you leave here. At my home you

  will find there are no radios, no magazines, no CDs,

  and especially no television for anyone until she has

  earned the right to leisure time. The only books

  permitted are the books related to your subjects, not

  that any of you look like you read very much." she

  added with a tightening at the right corner of her

  mouth.

  "No one will have any phone privileges until

  she earns twenty merit plus points. That means no one

  can call you as well-- not, from what I know of each

  of your histories, that anyone would want to call you." "We really are like prisoners." Teal

  complained, and quickly looked down,

  "Since that wasn't put in the form of a question,

  I will let it pass without penalizing you another

  demerit. If you are like prisoners, as you say, it's

  because you have imprisoned yourselves. You have

  put bars on your own windows and built the walls

  between yourselves and the rest of humanity. I am

  your best hope to remove those bars, to crumble those

  walls. Right now, y
ou see me only as a disciplinarian,

  but in time, very soon, you will learn to appreciate

  what I have to offer you,

  "It's a lot like Annie Sullivan and Helen

  Keller." she said, looking off. She smiled at some

  image of herself. and even that smile was disturbing

  enough to make my stomach feel as if I had just drunk

  a gallon of sour milk. "For in truth, you all can't really

  speak, can't really hear, can't really see. You're locked

  up inside your own troubled bodies. and I will free

  you. Yes, I will."

  There was a long silence. My throat was dry. My stomach continued to churn and I felt the growing pressure of having to go to the bathroom. I trembled, but I had to ask. I raised my hand, hoping she would

  permit it.

  "I said no questions," she declared. "But..." She raised her head and the very air seemed to

  freeze around us. If I uttered another sound, lightning

  might sizzle my brain. I thought. I bit down on my

  lower lip. She smiled again.

  "I don't want to leave you thinking that all that

  awaits you is hard work, rules, and restrictions. We

  will have wonderful sessions together, my group

  therapy, during which time you will all have this, this

  terribly dark curtain of pain and anger lifted from your

  eyes. Believe me, girls, that will happen and you will

  be grateful. I've seen it so many times before on the

  faces of my girls. My girls," she repeated, her eves

  glossing over as if she could see them all parading

  before her, hugging her like high school graduates at

  their diploma ceremony.

  She was quiet again. We could hear a drip, drip,

  drip of something in the plumbing above and behind

  us. Her eyes slowly brightened, the gloss changing to

  a thin layer of ice. She stared at us so long. I felt

  uncomfortable and saw both Teal and Robin

  squirming a bit on their stools as well.

  "Part of your work and your life at my school

  will be your confronting your own fears. One of the

  best ways to do that is to be out in nature. Nature has

  a way of tearing away all the conflicting, confusing

  things that have distorted our vision of ourselves. In

  nature you can make no rationalizations, no excuses,

  fall upon your knees and beg for mercy. You either

  become strong or perish. Everything out there teaches

  us that lesson and it's a wonderful lesson, one that we

  tend to forget in the world we call civilized. We'll

  help you regain that wisdom.

  Or, I should say, nature will."

  Nature? I thought. What was she talking about,

  camping trips? Sleeping in a tent? Maybe Teal wasn't

  so off. Maybe this was like the Girl Scouts.

  "Now then," Dr. Foreman said, pulling herself

  up and stepping back. "Unfortunately. I must

  conclude our little talk with a severe warning. Any

  signs of insubordination, even nasty looks and

  evidence of an attitude, will result in demerits.

  Profanity will be punished severely. If any of you get

  two demerits in one day, or fall two paints or more

  below the minus ten I have generously given you, or

  finally do something so terrible that it is off the charts, she will be sent to our Ice Room to chill out, as you

  kids like to say these days."

  Ice Room? What was that?

  She looked around the cement room, once again

  as if she could hear my thoughts, "This place is a firstclass hotel room compared to our Ice Room." She

  didn't make it sound like a threat either, but it clearly

  put the shivers into Teal and Robin as quickly as it did

  in me. Not describing it any further left it to each of

  our imaginations, and I was sure we each came up

  with our worst fears.

  "And now, my dears," she said again, sounding

  as if we were all at a grand tea party, "it's time for you

  to be introduced to your buddies. They are three of my

  graduates. three of whom I am very, very proud. They

  have earned the right to assist me."

  The girls beamed with joy at her compliments

  and gazed at her adoringly. I didn't know why vet, but

  it made my nerve endings sizzle to see the way they

  all looked up to her. I had the feeling she could ask

  one or all of them to open their wrists, and they would

  instantly obey.

  As Dr. Foreman continued, she looked at them

  with a mother's pride. "I call them your buddies

  because they are here to give you the benefit of their experience. They will be in charge of your daily life, your daily development, and since they have experienced my school firsthand, they have real insight into what goes on in a new girl's mind. Depend

  on them, listen to them, and most of all, obey them." She turned back to us. "Even though they are

  your buddies, you are to treat them as respectfully and

  obediently as you would me. In order to establish that,

  and to help you understand how far they have grown

  and what they have become now, you are to address

  them only as inMlady for that is truly who they are.

  ladies."

  Teal couldn't help a guffaw, her laughter

  spurting out of her lips like something she was unable

  to keep from coming up. It was like a small explosion. "If you don't tighten your lips this instant." Dr.

  Foreman snarled at her. "you'll be starting at a minus

  fifteen with the Ice Room as your initiation to my

  school."

  Teal's smile evaporated.

  After a long silence. Dr. Foreman stepped to the

  side and introduced M'Lady One, who was the young

  woman who had escorted me off the plane. She

  stepped forward and waited, still at attention. M'Lady

  Two, who stepped up beside her, was a far more attractive woman with light brown hair, a perfect nose, and a far more feminine mouth. She wasn't as tall, perhaps only five feet five, but because of her firm military posture, she didn't look much shorter. She had a nice figure, well proportioned, that couldn't

  be disguised even in the blah uniform.

  M'Lady Three was the stoutest and shortest. I

  thought she was barely five feet tall. She had

  shoulders like a football player and hard, sharply cut

  facial features. Her dark eyes were too far apart and

  her short, dull brown hair was trimmed farther back

  on her forehead than that of the other two. When she

  opened her mouth, I saw she had crooked teeth,

  especially on the bottom.

  "A new student does nothing without

  permission until she is told she may do so," M'Lady

  One recited.

  M'Lady Two continued. "That means even

  going to the bathroom. A new student does not speak

  unless given permission to do so."

  M'Lady Three picked up immediately when

  M'Lady Two stopped. She had the deepest, coarsest

  voice. "A new student learns that in the real world

  nothing comes to you because it's supposed to come

  to you. You earn everything: you are entitled to nothing. This is reality. Therefore, we will have reality checks periodically to determine whether or

  not you have earned what you want, what you have." This means everything," they all recited. They

  spoke like some c
horus that had performed these

  speeches many, many times, all speaking without

  much emotion, except for the underlying and

  continuous threat.

  "A new student knows that complaints earn

  demerits. Cheating, laziness, slacking off, any of that

  earns demerits." M'Lady Two said.

  "And demerits put you in the Ice Room," they

  all chorused.

  "Thank you. Mladies," Dr. Foreman said. They

  looked at her as if they were desperate for approval,

  then they stepped back.

  I raised my hand and she looked at me so long.

  I thought she was going to simply ignore it. Finally,

  she asked me what I wanted.

  "I need to go to the bathroom," I said. The three buddies smiled simultaneously as if

  they were of one face.

  "After all this, that is what you ask? Have you

  heard nothing?" But I need to go," I cried, now

  unashamed to admit it.

  "Your needs are no longer what is of primary

  importance. We are now going to think first of the

  group's needs."

  "But..."

  "You're here because you are selfish, and that

  will be the first demon we will destroy. I promise you

  that." Dr. Foreman said. "Now then. I have one more

  request of you all that you must fulfill before we can

  go any further."

  She turned to the buddies and each stepped

  forward. M'Lady One coming to me. Mlady Two

  going to Robin. and M'Lady Three to Teal. They

  handed each of us a small composition notebook and a

  pen.

  "What is this?" Teal muttered, "Homework,

  already?"

  "That's a demerit." Dr. Foreman said, pointing

  at her with a long, thin finger. "You didn't have

  permission to speak. One more and you're in the Ice

  Room."

  Teal looked away. I could see, however, that

  she was fighting back tears, tears of rage and fear. "Now then." Dr. Foreman said. "as a second

  part of your orientation. I want each of you to write

  her story. Tell me everything you can about yourself, what you remember as a child, where you lived, the friends you had or thought you had, the teachers you remember. I am very interested in how you see yourself, what you expect you will eventually do with your life. I want the notebooks filled with details, exact details of every thing you remember as important to you. I am particularly interested in your fears. so I want you to give lots of thought to that. All of us, including me, have something we fear. It's natural or, perhaps, it's something we have inherited or developed because of who we are, where we have lived, whom we have known. Don't dare leave that