Midnight Flight

  out.

  "If you lie and I find out you have lied in this

  introductory history, you will be fined ten full demerit

  points. Remember, I know much about you. This is

  both a test of your veracity and a chance for you to

  think about yourselves."

  We looked at each other in disbelief. Write our

  histories? Surely, this was a joke.

  "I see you are not taking me seriously," Dr.

  Foreman said. "I assure you that you will all remain

  here until you are all finished. Until then, no one will

  get anything to drink or eat, nor will anyone"-- she

  centered on me--"use the bathroom. That's academic

  anyway since there is no bathroom." she added dryly. I felt my face flush. No bathroom? Reminding

  me I had to go built the pressure inside me. I felt

  myself breaking out into a sweat, my heart pounding.

  Didn't the other two have to go? If they did, they

  didn't show it.

  "Finally, let me remind you that no one is to

  speak to anyone during this exercise. One of your

  buddies will monitor you, and should anyone speak,

  you will all remain here one hour longer for every

  word uttered."

  Then, as suddenly as she finished speaking, she

  smiled warmly at us and in loving tones said.

  "Welcome. girls. Welcome to my school. I truly hope

  this will be a lifesaving experience for you all." With that she turned and walked out, her heels

  clicking and echoing around us until she was gone and

  it was deadly silent.

  It was as if all clocks had stopped. Nothing beat

  anymore. Not even our own hearts.

  2

  Dr. Foreman's Funny Farm

  .

  Two of the so-called buddies left with Dr.

  Foreman. but M'Lady Three remained behind, her arms folded, her back against the door, glaring at us, the corners of her mouth dipped with annoyance at what I was sure she considered baby-sitting duty,

  "This is so stupid." Teal muttered.

  "Did someone speak?" M'Lady Three chimed. Like a hungry cat she was so eager to pounce. We all looked down ashamed of our fear. That

  was when I saw that someone probably feeling as

  desperate as we did had carved the word help into my

  old desk. I felt like adding my own cry of rage. I

  would carve in betrayed. When I looked up again. I

  saw Robin open her composition notebook and begin

  writing. She shrugged at me as if to say, what else can

  we do? Humor her. Teal, on the other hand, remained

  stubborn, her head in her hands, the notebook still

  closed. I opened mine.

  My life story?

  Where do I begin? I was born in Atlanta. My

  daddy was an auto garage tool salesman and my

  mama worked as a waitress in one dump after another, drinking up mast of what she made and sometimes not coming home until morning. It was one thing to remember it all, to think about it, but another to actually put it in writing. It made me more angry than ashamed to see it in black and white. Perhaps that was Dr. Foreman's purpose: to get us to hate who we were, who we are. I suppose I couldn't blame her. Why else

  would we work on changing ourselves?

  It was funny though how tears came into my

  eyes after I began to describe our apartment in that

  rat-infested building, described my room. the crippled

  kitchen with the stove that worked when it was in the

  mood, and the living room with the threadbare rug

  where Daddy sat and watched television alone so

  many nights. Why would I cry over and long for a

  return to the life I used to hate? Why would I want to

  be back in that two-by-four room of mine where I

  could hear pipes groaning at night like someone with

  a bellyache, and people in other apartments yelling at

  each other and clawing the walls the way prisoners

  going mad might?

  I wasn't in a good place to grow up. Even as a

  little girl. I knew bad things happened in our building.

  Someone I only knew as Mr. Ratter died of a drug

  overdose in the apartment directly below ours. It was the first time I saw a dead person. I stood on the stairway and watched them taking him out an a stretcher, the sheet over his whole body. The police said the apartment stank. He had been dead for nearly a week, but he had no relatives in Atlanta. Only in his

  mid-thirties, he was already dead.

  That was when I first understood what Daddy

  meant when he said we were living in a cemetery. The

  doors of the apartments should look more like

  tombstones and read their names and born in 19__,

  died 20__. Rest its peace because that's the only

  peace you'll have.

  No wonder I didn't want to come home nights

  or stay there on weekends. No wonder I took

  advantage of Mama being at work and staying out to

  all hours and Daddy being on the road, away from

  home. I shouldn't have been blamed for that. Anyone

  living like I was living, seeing the things I saw, would

  have done the same thing.

  The only excitement and happiness I had were

  what I had with my friends. So we smoked and

  shoplifted and drank at parties. So what? We didn't

  hurt people badly, did we? Well, maybe we hurt

  ourselves somewhat, but we weren't on anyone's Most

  Wanted list. Teachers barely tolerated us, were happy when we didn't bother them, and swept us along like so much dust from one room to another, one teacher

  to another, as if everyone was to share the burden. Yes. I wrote in the notebook, it's true I did get

  arrested more than once. I was put on probation. I did

  violate it and I was in danger of going to a real prison.

  Yes. I knew why Daddy felt he had to place me with

  my uncle and aunt after Mama ran off with someone

  and deserted us. but I also knew my aunt and uncle

  never wanted me and were surely relieved when I got

  myself in new trouble and ran away. My aunt could

  claim she was right about me: I was hopeless and now

  she had a good excuse for getting rid of me forever. I described it all, how I was cornered into

  hurting that boy, how I was arrested for it and decided

  to run off, how disappointed I was in Mama when I

  found her in that clinic, and how betrayed I felt when

  my uncle tricked me and got me taken here. I was

  never as mean to anyone as they were to me. I wrote. I

  don't deserve this.

  As to my fears, I couldn't come up with much

  except what I had feared when I was a little girl and

  could actually hear the rats scratching their way

  through the walls, visiting different apartments as if

  the whole place were a mall for rats who could shop in this one's kitchen cabinets and then another and pass the news on to the world of rats out there: Come to Phoebe Elder's home. Her mother is a slob. Lots to eat on the floor and counters, and she's so out of it most nights in a drunken coma, she won't even know

  we're there.

  I used to curl up in my bed, wrapping the

  blanket so tightly around myself it was a wonder I

  didn't smother to death. Some nights I sobbed myself

  to sleep. Some nights I woke up positive a rat had

  crawled over my legs or sniffed my hair. I would

  throw off my blanket and turn on the lamp, but

 
thankfully, I never saw one in my room. That didn't

  mean I didn't believe they had been there. however. I

  imagined their tiny footprints everywhere, and

  sometimes. I was sure I saw a pair of beady little eves

  watching me from some crack in the wall.

  I had no idea how much I had written in the

  notebook when I raised my head. I saw Teal had given

  in, and she and Robin were still reluctantly at it

  themselves. Then I heard the door open and saw

  M'Lady Two hand M'Lady Three a tumbler of ice

  water. Teal and Robin also watched her drinking it.

  She seemed to take longer and slurp it for our benefit.

  She spilled what she hadn't finished on the floor and looked at us with a smile so spiteful it made anger

  simmer my blood into a rolling boil.

  I squirmed in my seat. My need to pee had

  become impossible to ignore. Soon there would be no

  way to keep it from happening. It brought new tears to

  my eyes, tears that escaped my lids. I embraced

  myself and rocked as I moaned.

  M'Lady Three got up and walked toward me.

  "What's wrong with you?"

  "I have to pee, badly."

  "So pee. You're wearing a diaper. We'll change

  you afterward." I looked up at her in shock. I could

  see she was serious. It put me into a small panic. and

  when I looked at Teal, she seemed angrier about it

  than I could be. Then she nodded at me, her eyes

  small, urging me to call her bluff, Only I knew it

  wasn't a bluff. Robin looked down, ashamed for me. M'Lady Three turned back to the door and then

  I let it go. It dripped off the chair. She looked back.

  smiling. Then she opened the door and shouted. "Get

  up a diaper. Baby One had an accident."

  I heard some laughter outside.

  I was crying harder now, the tears of shame and

  rage sliding off my cheeks as if my skin had turned to

  ice, my fists at my sides, my nails digging into my

  palms.

  "Bitch," Teal shouted at M'Lady Three. Her smile faded. "One word without specific

  permission. One extra hour for all of you to spend in

  here," she pronounced like a judge laying the death

  sentence on some convicted murderer.

  M'Lady One returned with a new diaper for me.

  Teal and Robin watched with disgust and rage. Then

  Teal stood up and just let go. Robin smiled and did

  the same. M'Lady One and M'Lady Three looked at

  each other, then M'Lady Three smiled back at Teal

  and Robin.

  "Gee, girls. sorry." she moaned as if she really

  cared. "but we had only one extra diaper." Her phony

  smile vanished, Now sit down and shut up." she

  snapped at them. Their faces of defiance quickly

  changed into faces of disgust and panic. "Sit down or

  we'll keep you here two more hours for every minute

  you're standing."

  Without any other choice, they did what they

  were told, both grimacing with discomfort. I returned

  to my seat and held up my completely filled

  composition book. M'Lady One took it and flipped

  through the pages. Then she took the pen and left. Robin and Teal started to write faster, the need

  to get out of here that much greater,

  M'Lady Three shook her head and smiled at

  them gleefully. "That's better. girls. The faster you all

  learn that obeying orders makes things easier for you,

  the better off you'll be."

  When Robin and Teal were finished, they lifted

  their notebooks and M'Lady Three took them,

  checked them, and went to the door. She handed them

  to M'Lady Two and looked at us.

  "After your hour's punishment, we'll be

  learning the school prayer," she said. and left. "I'm taking this off." Robin said, standing

  immediately and removing the wet diaper. Teal did

  the same.

  "They're crazy. That doctor's crazy. I'm not

  staying here," Teal vowed.

  "Really? What do you intend to do? Catch a cab

  home?" Robin asked,

  "I don't know, Something."

  "You better not let them hear you talking or

  they'll tack on more time." I warned them.

  'Don't tell me what to do! I don't give a damn! I

  won't..." Teal stopped and slammed her lips shut when

  she heard the door opening.

  MLady Three returned. "Lucky for you two, we found two extra diapers," she sang. She gave one to Robin and one to Teal. "Put them on and keep

  quiet," she ordered, and left again.

  I watched them change. We all walked about

  like caged animals, looking at each other as if one

  word would set us clawing ourselves as well as the

  walls, then we glared at the door. Teal tried it and of

  course it was locked.

  "What if they just leave us here forever? Who

  would even know?" Robin queried. "There's no other

  way out." Teal and I looked at each other.

  "My parents would eventually find out. They

  can't do that. They wouldn't dare. My mother would

  sue the panties off that Dr. Foreplay or whatever she

  calls herself," Teal said.

  "Right, your parents are worried sick over you.

  That's why they had you sent here."

  "Shut up. You don't know anything about me or

  my family." "Who wants to?" Robin mumbled. All I could think about was getting out of here.

  Soon we'd be at each other's throat, but the hands of

  whatever clock we were on were arthritic or

  something. It seemed like much longer than another

  hour before the door opened and the three so-called

  buddies returned.

  "Everyone stand in front of her desk." M'Lady

  One ordered, We did so, all of us thinking the same

  thing: we'll do anything to get out of here, "Okay,

  here is the school prayer. You are to recite it every

  morning and you are to recite it until you get it

  perfect. We'll stay here as long as we have to until all

  three of you have it memorized."

  M'Lady Two came forward. "Repeat after me. 'I

  am nothing. I am less than nothing. I am a burden to

  my family and to my country. I must hate myself to

  death and I must change. I must thank Dr. Foreman

  for every punishment I receive.'"

  Teal grimaced. "That's a prayer?"

  "It's stupid," Robin agreed.

  "Suit yourselves. Girls. We're comfortable,"

  M'Lady Two said, and started out.

  "Wait a minute!" I cried.

  She paused.

  "1 can't stand it in here anymore."

  She looked at Rabin and Teal.

  -All right. How does it go again?" Teal asked. M'Lady Two smiled and repeated it for us.

  None of us got it right the first time, so she repeated it

  and again we mumbled it as accurately as we could.

  They demanded we speak louder. Teal made an error and we were stopped and told to start again. I thought she wasn't going to do it, but she did and, of course, made a small mistake. All three of us were tired and groggy and uncomfortable. It was so hard to concentrate on words we hated anyway. Finally, we had it right almost to the end. when I left out a word and they jumped on me. Again we recited it and again one of us made a small error. Eventually, we had it

  perfect and they agree
d we had done so.

  "Orientation is over," M'Lady Three declared,

  slapping her hands together. "We can move out and

  take you to Dr. Foreman's School, Remember." she

  added before we started. no talking without

  permission."

  We marched out of the room. I don't think I was

  ever happier to leave a place than I was leaving there.

  Even the hot evening air seemed a relief. A dirty,

  white, windowless van was parked in front of the

  building. The rear doors were opened and we were

  told to climb in. There was nothing to sit on, just the

  metal floor of the van. A solid wall separated the back

  of the van from the driver. All three of us hesitated. It

  smelled like some farm animals had been transported

  in it only minutes ago. The odor of animal manure

  was strong.

  Teal raised her hand.

  "What?" M'Lady Three asked. We understood

  now that M'Lady Three was assigned to Teal; M'Lady

  Two to Rabin, and of course, M'Lady One to me. "There are no windows in there. How long is

  the trip? We'll suffocate."

  "The trip is as long as it takes to get to the

  school. Get in. It will be longer if you waste time. We

  might." M'Lady Three said, smiling at the other two,

  "take you on a detour if you don't behave."

  Teal looked at the two of us and then gazed

  around and into the darkness. Would she try to bolt

  and run? I think she realized she had no idea in which

  direction to go and the chances of her outrunning

  them were slim. Defeated, she climbed into the van

  and sat with her back to the side, her arms folded. I

  did the same, sitting across from her. and Robin got in

  and sat next to her. They closed the doors on us and

  we were in total darkness.

  That wasn't the only problem. Teal was right.

  Once the doors were closed, we had little fresh air, the

  odor was nauseating, and the van walls felt like the

  walls of an oven.

  "We'll die in here if we have to stay in here

  long," Teal moaned,

  "Keep your voice down." Robin said. "Whisper.

  Who knows what else those sadistic creatures will do

  to us if they hear us talking."

  "If I wasn't so tired. I'd choke one of them,"

  Teal claimed.

  They don't look like they're afraid of that,

  especially your buddy." I told her. "I think she's a

  former football player or bouncer from same bar." Robin grunted her agreement. We heard the