Midnight Flight

  van's engine start, then the van pulled away. It was

  smooth for a while, but not five minutes into the ride,

  it suddenly became quite bumpy, and for us to bounce

  sitting on this metal floor was not easy. It was at times

  painful. We all screamed and shouted complaints, but

  whoever was driving didn't hear us or care. The van

  jostled and shook us as it went along. At times, the

  driver turned so hard and sharply, we were thrown

  from side to side. Finally, the ride became a lot

  smoother.

  "I'm going to strangle my mother darling when

  I get away from here." Robin vowed. "She just wanted

  to get me out of her hair while she tries to become a

  famous country singing star. She didn't care where I

  was sent. Just go, she told me. I'm better off. What she

  really meant was she was better off. She could party

  and carry on without worrying about me."

  "What did your father have to say about it?"

  Teal asked.

  "I don't have a father. Mother darling got

  pregnant when she was a teenager and my

  grandparents made her have me as a punishment.

  They are very religious and we had to live with them.

  Mother darling's not sure who my father is. The best

  she can remember is she was at a party where she had

  sex with three. guys."

  "Three in one night?" I asked.

  "That's what she claimed."

  "Some mother." Teal said.

  "I didn't exactly have a choice, you know. From

  the sound of things, you're not that much better off," "Yeah, well, at least I'm sure who my father is."

  Teal said.

  "Doesn't sound like he wants to be your father."

  Robin batted back.

  "How came you don't get along with your

  parents?" I asked Teal. Talking at least passed the

  time and stopped me from thinking about the horrible

  ride.

  "They had me late in their marriage. I was an

  accident for sure." she replied bitterly. "I have a brother who's much older and he's by far the favorite. He works with my father in his business. Na one had any patience for me. I'm sure they're just as happy to

  get rid of me as Robin's mother was to get rid of her." "She'll be sorry." Robin swore. "If she ever

  does become famous. I'll tell the world how Mother

  darling treated me."

  "Why do you call her 'Mother darling'?" Teal

  asked.

  "Just to annoy her. You've heard of Mommie

  Dearest, right?"

  "Yeah," Teal said so vaguely I was sure she

  hadn't. I hadn't but I didn't say so. What difference did

  it make? I thought.

  "My daddy wouldn't have put up with this," I

  told them. "He was hoping to take me back as soon as

  he got himself a position where he didn't have to be

  on the road all the time."

  "Sure he was," Teal said.

  -He was!" I insisted. "If he didn't get himself

  killed, my aunt and uncle would never dare to do

  something like this to me."

  "What about your mother?" Robin asked. I told her about how she had deserted us in

  Atlanta and how I had gone looking for her in hopes

  of our starting a new life.

  "Get real. girl." Teal said. "Those kinds of

  dreams are for girls who still believe in the tooth

  fairy."

  "I'll choose my own dreams, thank you," I said,

  but not with a great deal of confidence.

  They were both quiet for a while, thinking. I

  guess in our secret heart of hearts, we were all longing

  for someone who would care enough about us to keep

  such cruel things from happening to us. Those kinds

  of people were just impossible to find for the three of

  us, I thought.

  The van continued to ride over smoother roads.

  After a while, especially because of all we had already

  been through, the monotonous sound of the engine

  and the squeaks and moans in the metal were

  hypnotizing. We were all having a hard time keeping

  ourselves awake,

  "I'm tired," Robin said. "I can't believe how

  tired I am. I feel like I just went through a torture

  chamber."

  "I hate to think what awaits us at Dr. Foreman's

  funny farm." Teal said.

  We were all silent again, each of us thinking

  about that, I'm sure. I know I managed to drift off for a while, but when I wake, I was sore and achy all over I heard the other two rustling about. Finally, we felt the van turn sharply, speed up, bounce hard, then come to a stop. I didn't know about the other two. but I was sweating so much. I thought I would slide out of

  the van.

  The door was opened and we saw a pole light

  shedding illumination on what looked like a gravel

  driveway. M'Lady One was there at the opened doors. "Get out." she ordered.

  We crawled to the doorway and climbed out of

  the van. Across from us was a long, two-story, pitchroofed, pink-stucco Spanish colonial house with an

  upper-level, full-length porch. The railings looked

  quite fancy. I could see the six doors that opened onto

  the porch. I imagined each one opened onto a room.

  and I hoped each of us was to have one of those

  rooms. All I could think of was dropping my head on

  a pillow and curling up an a soft mattress.

  "All right, follow us," M'Lady One ordered.

  "This way." She started around the van.

  Why weren't we going directly into the house? I

  wondered, We were all so tired. Surely they were

  tired. too. There just couldn't be more to this

  orientation. The three of us stumbled after them. Robin kept looking from side to side like someone who wanted to break loose and run, but all I could see through the darkness was a corral, another barn, and a large shed. There was no road and there were definitely no other houses anywhere nearby. There were no cars going past and no sign of any road. Just a mountain range in the distance, silhouetted against the

  blue black sky, now dazzling with stars.

  Where were we exactly? I had no sense of

  direction, but because of how long it had taken me to

  get here by plane and van. I was sure I was at least

  halfway across the country. It was a frightening

  thought, to realize I was so far from anywhere and

  anyone I knew. Vaguely, I wondered what my old

  friends were doing at this moment. I envied them far

  being asleep in their own beds. I even envied the ones

  I knew shared beds with younger brothers or sisters. We were directed off to the right and brought to

  what was outside showers. There were no stalls. just

  three showerheads over a concrete floor,

  'Get undressed and take your showers." M'Lady

  Three commanded.

  "This is a shower?" Teal muttered.

  If M'Lady One heard her, she chose not to

  acknowledge it. "You take a shower every night

  before going to bed at Dr. Foreman's School." We were each handed a bar of coarse soap. a

  stiff brush. a towel, and a small kit that included our

  toothbrush, toothpaste, and a supply of tampons. None of us moved to undress. however. "Well?" my buddy said, glaring into my face.

  "Let's get started. We don't have all night."

  "Right out here, like this?" I asked. looking

 
around. It seemed deserted, but it was still getting

  naked in full view of anyone.

  "Always ask before speaking." she reminded

  me. "Yes, right out here like this. Do it! You all stink

  and the stench will keep you awake and bother

  others."

  Others? I thought. What others?

  Robin began to take off her sack, then undo her

  shoes and lower her socks. I followed, but Teal looked

  like she was going to be defiant.

  "You won't go to sleep until you do this." her

  buddy told her. She started to undress.

  The water was a shock. It wasn't just cold; it

  was freezing. Every time we tried to get out from

  under, they pushed us back and shouted. "Scrub!" I did it as fast as I could, Eventually. the other

  two did the same. but it wasn't good enough for our buddies. They told us to do it again and scrub harder. The bristles of the brush were stiff and painful. Finally, we were told to step out and turn off the water. Even in the darkness. I could see how red and irritated Robin's and Teal's skin were. We dried off quickly and put the degrading outfits on to keep ourselves warm again, despite that the sacks stank and would defeat the purpose of the shower. I was afraid

  to point it out. however,

  "Let's move it." M'Lady Three commanded.

  She still did not lead us toward the house. however.

  Instead we were taken to an area off to our right

  where the three of us saw our clothing piled, shoes

  and all.

  A sweet feeling of relief settled in me, as well

  as the other two. "Finally," I heard Teal whisper. "No speaking," M'Lady Two screamed. We stood there obediently, waiting for the order

  to fetch our clothes. To our surprise. M'Lady Three

  went instead to a large open barrel beside them. She

  lit a match and dropped it into the barrel. Instantly, a

  flame shot up. Something very flammable was in the

  barrel,

  "Okay, girls," M'Lady One said. "Take those

  clothes and throw them into the barrel."

  "What?" Teal couldn't contain herself. "Burn

  my clothes? Why?"

  Out of the shadows as if she were formed from

  darkness came Dr. Foreman.

  "I know this seems hard to you, girls, but it is a

  very, very important first step. What we are doing

  here tonight is burning away the old you and

  beginning your rebirths. This isn't just symbolic. It has

  a great deal of psychological importance."

  The fire crackled in the barrel,

  But that's not the old me. That's my clothing,

  my designer clothing!" Teal exclaimed.

  For a long moment, no one spoke. Then Dr.

  Foreman stepped a little closer,

  "We'll stand here all night if we have to." she

  warned, "It is essential to my system, my process, that

  you all participate in your awn rebirths."

  "This is really crazy." Teal muttered.

  "I'm so tired. I don't care about anything

  anymore," Robin declared, and went to the clothes, "Don't throw mine in there," Teal screamed at

  her.

  Robin picked out her own things and began to

  toss them into the barrel. I followed after her and did

  the same. Finally. Teal, standing alone, went to the remaining garments. Then, like someone giving up the

  most precious jewels, dropped them into the barrel. "Good,- Dr. Foreman said. "You're all

  beginning well. I'm proud of you girls, and to show

  you my appreciation_. I'm giving you all plus five

  points. You're now that much closer to receiving

  comforts and privileges. M'ladies." she said, turning

  to the buddies. "Show them to their sleeping

  quarters."

  Thank God. I thought. I followed along, my

  head down, not realizing where we were going until

  Teal moaned. We were standing at the barn.

  M'Lady Two opened the door. We could see it

  was well lit within.

  "Home sweet home, girls," she said, standing

  back.

  "Home! What are you talking about? This is a

  barn." Teal moaned.

  "Demerit," M'Lady Three said. "Even though

  Dr. Foreman rewarded you with five plus points, you

  have one demerit from before and now a second. Two

  demerits in one day qualify you for the Ice Room. Dr.

  Foreman must be immediately informed. You could

  go right to the Ice Room."

  I raised my hand.

  "Very good. Phoebe. Permission to speak.

  Speak." M'Lady One said.

  "Can't you be a little bit understanding? We're

  confused and tired and this looks like a barn," It is a barn and we're not here to be

  understanding. You were given the rules and you must

  obey them. It's what we had to do and what we did."

  M'Lady One looked at M'Lady Three. "It's up to you."

  she told her. "-What do you want to do about Teal?" "I'll let this one slip, but consider it the one and

  only time I M'Lady Three told Teal.

  We were then ordered to enter.

  Before us were five wooden cots lined up

  beside each other.

  Two had mattresses, pillows, and blankets on

  them. The other three were just bare.

  "Those three are yours," M'Lady One said,

  pointing to the bare ones.

  Robin raised her hand.

  "Permission to speak," M'Ladv Two said. "There are no mattresses or anything on them." "You have to earn that," her buddy replied. "But... how...?"

  "Reality checks. remember? You earn the

  points and then you are rewarded with comforts. It's how it works. Here we earn everything we have, even ever morsel of food we eat. Whoever doesn't do her share, doesn't share. That includes water as well as

  food."

  We all looked about despondently. The floor

  literally had straw over it. The place smelled like a

  real barn. The four windows had no curtains over

  them. The walls were bare and there wasn't much of

  an interior or any other furniture. Only by the two

  beds that had mattresses, we saw what looked like two

  small wooden chests.

  Teal raised her hand.

  "What?"

  "Who sleeps on those?" she asked.

  "Those are Gia Carson's and Mindy Levine's

  beds, They've earned enough points to have an hour's

  recreation time in the library where they can read

  approved books and listen to approved music. They

  will be back here momentarily. I now advise the three

  of you to go to sleep."

  "I'm sure my father didn't pay all that money

  for me to sleep in a stinking barn." Teal declared. M'Lady Three stepped up so closely to her,

  their noses almost collided. "Okay, you're not sleeping

  in the barn. I'm sick of your whining. You've just lost

  the privilege."

  "Privilege?" Teal started to laugh, "You call

  sleeping in a barn a privilege?"

  M'Ladv Three nodded at the other two buddies,

  who then picked up a bunk and carried it out the door. "Follow them." Teal was told. She looked to us

  desperately for same help. but neither Robin nor I had

  the courage to say a word. With her head down like a

  flag of surrender, she walked out of the barn. I would

  never have thought sleeping in a barn was so great,

  but it had to be to be better than being out there. I
br />   thought.

  At the door. M'Lady Three turned to Robin and

  me. "Go to sleep. You'll need every moment of rest

  you can get, believe me."

  She left, closing the door behind her.

  "Any moment I'm going to wake up. Tell me

  that's me. Tell me I'm in a dream, a nightmare, and it's

  coming to an end," Robin muttered in the tone of a

  prayer.

  I just shook my head and sat on the first bare

  wooden cot. The surface was hard, but I didn't care. "I'm so tired," I whispered.

  The lights in the barn flickered in warning that

  they would soon be out, then the door opened and two girls entered. The first was a diminutive girl with a mop of hair the color of black licorice. She had large, dark, haunted eyes with a small, delicate nose and thin lips turned down in the corners. Each girl was dressed in a pair of blue coveralls with a faded white shortsleeve shirt that looked more like a man's shirt than a

  woman's. They wore the same ugly shoes. too. The second girl was tall and thin with hair so

  pale yellow it looked almost white. It hung down like

  dead straw over her ears, the bangs nearly over her

  eves. My immediate thought was she was anorexic.

  Her wrists were slim and bony. I imagined that a

  strong handshake could shatter them. Her cheeks were

  sunken. The skin on her face was so taut it was

  transparent. Once, she must have had a pretty face. I

  decided. She had high cheekbones and a nearly

  perfect nose, but when she glanced our way, she never

  changed expression or in any way showed that she

  saw us. She looked more like someone dazed, moving

  in her sleep.

  Both girls diverted their eyes to the floor and

  moved so softly, I had the sense they were floating in,

  gliding toward their bunks. They said nothing to each

  other, did nothing to indicate they were aware of each

  other.

  Robin looked at me with quizzical eyes and

  shrugged.

  The girls, still ignoring us, began to take off

  their coveralls and their ugly shoes, caked with mud.

  They did everything with great care as if they were

  performing a delicate lifesaving operation: folding

  their coveralls neatly and placing them in the chests

  beside their bunks, rolling their white stockings down

  and then again taking great pains to fold them

  perfectly as well and placing them in the trunks, all

  the while moving like two people in a hypnotic state. Neither girl ware what we called diapers. They