Shamless

  It was insane to consider. He might pat her on the head or rumple her hair and say something like, “That’s sweet, kid, I’m flattered.” Thereby crushing her heart and her ego and everything else she would be risking.

  But there had been times when she wondered. She really did.

  He’d always had an indignant dislike for whomever she dated. It had bordered on ridiculous. He joked about always being on “standby” to kick someone’s ass for her if she needed him to, but she’d sometimes wondered how much of a joke it was. He had bloodied Andrew Carson’s nose for picking on her, but that was when they were in middle school. She’d been in sixth grade, Dane and Cam in eighth. Back then, most kids knew better than to mess with her. Cam still liked to make it abundantly clear that no one had better mess with her now, either.

  It had a way of making her feel twelve years old again, but also protected. Cherished.

  “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Lys asked, her face dawning with joy.

  Meri stared into her coffee mug. “No.”

  “Yes. You are.”

  “Maybe. That doesn’t mean I’m going to do it.”

  “Let’s make it a bet.”

  “Huh?”

  “When we see the guys today, when Cam jumps to your side or talks to you more than anyone else or otherwise shows how much he freaking likes you, you have to go for it.”

  “If I don’t?”

  “Then I’m going to tell him about the massive flaming torch you’ve carried for him all these years.”

  A black pit of horror bloomed in Meredith’s chest. “I will never speak to you again. I mean that.”

  “No you don’t.”

  “Alyssa.”

  “Do what I said and you will never have to find out if I’m that vicious. Come on, Mer. You’ve got nothing to lose and that gorgeous man to gain.”

  She didn’t know what scared her more right now. The thought of having to do as Alyssa said…or Cameron not paying her any attention in the slightest after what he’d done last night.

  That girl. What had she looked like? Slender? Athletic? Blonde or brunette? He’d dated all types, but he hadn’t dated in a while. What if that girl had made an impression? What if she spent the day with him…with them? Her heart knocked painfully at the thought of meeting a tall, leggy blonde bombshell (everything Meri wasn’t) at Cam’s side when they ran into the guys later. Holding his hand. Laughing at his jokes. Sharing secret smiles with him over their shameless little rendezvous last night.

  She would drive herself crazy if she didn’t stop with these thoughts. And, unfortunately, it was becoming increasingly clear that she couldn’t hang around here alone all day. She had to know. Had to. If she had to ask him straight out what was going on, or see it with her own aching eyes, then so be it.

  Chapter Three

  Cameron lifted his head and squinted at the sunlight pouring through the patio door. By the slant, it looked late. By the searing brightness, it was trying to kill him.

  “Fuck,” he groaned, rolling to his back and knuckling his eyes hard. As he did so, his right arm brushed soft skin, and a jolt went through him.

  Oh, yeah. He wasn’t alone. It had taken a moment for the memory to pierce through the throb in his skull. Turning his head, he observed the petite brunette curled at his right side, her face obscured by a curtain of hair, breathing contentedly in sleep. At least their limbs weren’t entangled; he was able to roll from the bed without fear of waking her. Last thing he wanted right now was a cuddle session, if she would even be so inclined.

  But after pulling on a pair of pajama pants, meaning to make his escape, he paused and sighed. There was no reason to be an asshole about this. It wasn’t this girl’s fault his head pounded along with the rhythm of his pulse, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate waking up alone in a stranger’s bed. So he reached down to rub her lean, tanned arm. She lifted her head and swiped the overly long bangs from her eyes, giving him a sleepy smile.

  Christ, what was her name again?

  “Hey there,” she purred, giving a long, catlike stretch that showed her pert breasts to their best advantage. Nice, yes, and he’d gotten much enjoyment from them last night…but there was not one stir of interest below his waist now. He didn’t want to be an asshole, no, but he wanted her gone. “What time is it?”

  He glanced at the clock on the other side of the bed. “Almost noon.”

  “Wow. You knocked me out.” She giggled.

  Cam figured it was mostly the alcohol that had knocked her out, but whatever. He didn’t want to get into rehashing the night’s events. “I’ll let you get dressed. I’m gonna make coffee, if you want some.”

  A flash of disappointment crossed her face, but as soon as the words left his mouth, she tugged the sheet over her nakedness. Good. He gave her a smile, hoping to remove some of the sting, and headed toward the kitchen.

  The TV was on in the living room, giving the indication that Dane and Marla were up, but except for Cam’s guest from last night, the condo seemed otherwise empty. They must have already headed to the beach, or out to grab some lunch. Another plus. No one had seen him and—shit, what was her name?—the girl come in last night. In the light of day, he wasn’t too keen on them seeing her leave, either. They would only fuck with him about it. The more clandestine he could keep this whole thing, the better. He didn’t know what the hell he’d been thinking, anyhow.

  Well, he did…he just usually didn’t give in to those impulses. Especially with his friends in the vicinity. And Meri.

  Jesus. Meri.

  A fresh stab of pain hit him between the eyes, and his coffee mission was abandoned momentarily while he scrounged the cabinets for some Tylenol or Advil. Dane had brought something, anticipating such an event as this. God bless him. Now if only Cam could figure out where he’d put it.

  Succeeding at last—naturally, the small white and red Tylenol bottle was in the last place he looked—he returned to his second priority. Caffeine. The strong brew was just getting started when he heard a sound at his back.

  His companion from last night had emerged from the bedroom wearing her skimpy pink dress and a very pissed-off expression. She was tapping furiously at her cell phone, avoiding his eyes.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, solely to lessen his own guilt about the situation.

  “Fuck no,” she snapped.

  What the hell had she expected? A fucking proposal?

  Maybe not to get kicked out of your bed as soon as you woke her up, asshole. Sighing, he turned back to the counter. Yeah, he was a shithead. He’d brought a girl back here for the sole purpose of fucking someone else from his thoughts. It hadn’t been the first time in the past several years, it probably wouldn’t be the last and, as usual, it hadn’t worked in the slightest.

  The slam of the front door as she went out made him wince, driving another spike of pain through his head. His heart.

  He couldn’t keep going on like this. Hurting others, hurting himself.

  Barely sooner than it had shut, the door opened again. Thinking she was back, Cam’s heart sank, but it only plunged further when he saw Dane and Marla coming in, both fixing him with puzzled expressions.

  “Who was the streak of hot pink in fuck-me heels that nearly knocked us down?” Marla asked, shoving her sunglasses to the top of her blonde head.

  “You low-down dirty dog,” Dane added with a grin. Marla elbowed him, cutting him a side-eye. “Jesus, don’t congratulate him.”

  “What? I didn’t.”

  “Please. You sound like a proud papa.”

  While the couple bantered back and forth, Cam fixed his coffee and took a sip. They could stay at this for so long he could probably sneak unnoticed from the room if he was careful.

  “She was cute,” Marla observed at last, turning her attention back to Cam. His delusions of escape vanished like the steam rising from his cup.

  “That she was,” he agreed.

  “But I guess you fuck
ed it up.”

  “That I did.” Better to let them think he was an idiot rather than an asshole, he supposed. Marla, at least, would forgive the former much sooner than the latter. He liked keeping that one on his side. “Anyway, it’s done.”

  “Cam, quit breaking these poor girls’ hearts,” she said, sounding for all the world like his mother.

  “Don’t lecture him,” Dane scolded, smacking her on the behind as he passed on his way into the living room.

  “I’m just ready for him to find someone and settle down.”

  “That’s not your call.”

  Cam shook his head and spoke up. “He’s also ready for his friends to quit talking about him like he’s not in the room.”

  Dane checked his watch. “We’d better see what the girls are up to. I’m surprised Meri hasn’t already called.”

  For what had to be the thousandth time, Cam thought about what a wretched idea tagging along on this vacation had been. When they’d made the plans, it had seemed okay—some R & R, some beach time. Who didn’t need that? But now, he realized he must have been insane. Because of Meredith.

  When she was around, there was no rest and relaxation to be found. All he could do was resolve not to stare too openly at her.

  Meredith in a bikini? Kiss of death.

  But it wasn’t just that. It was Meredith playing volleyball on the beach, sweat rolling down the bare, flat plane of her stomach. The way she put everything into the game even though she wasn’t the best player. Meredith wading out into the surf, grinning as the waves kissed higher and higher on her thighs. The sound of her laughter when her friend tried to wrestle her down into the water.

  The way she pretended Cam was not even present. Seriously, had she even looked at him twice since they’d gotten here? He’d known her for years, and she was a bigger mystery with each one that passed. It seemed the more he was around, the less she wanted him to be.

  Maybe it hadn’t been the right thing to do, but he couldn’t deny she was the reason he’d had to seek some kind of release last night other than his own fucking hand.

  If she weren’t Dane’s little sister, and if he didn’t love Dane like a brother…

  “…the hell are you talking about?”

  Cam snapped out of his funk. His best friend was on the phone now, probably with said little sister, scrounging through the refrigerator.

  “Yeah… yeah… You’re always Miss Gung-Ho, and now you want to hang around here all day? Are you sick? … All right, whatever. We’ll see you around.” He hung up.

  “She all right?” Cam asked.

  “She said she was fine, but she sounded a little off. Even if something was wrong, though, she wouldn’t tell me.”

  “What you said was right, that isn’t like her.” They’d been here for two days and she’d had them up and doing shit by eight o’clock both mornings.

  “Maybe you could talk to her,” Dane suggested.

  “If she won’t tell you what’s wrong, she sure as shit won’t tell me. I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe she’s tired.”

  “That girl doesn’t get tired,” Marla said. “She’s the most wired little bundle of energy I’ve ever met. I don’t know how she sits behind a desk all day at work without losing her mind.”

  “She takes it out on all of us on vacation,” Dane said wryly.

  Cam could agree with that. Even seeing her working out at the gym made his mouth water in an entirely different way. He’d love to drive that little body to its physical limits. Okay, in more ways than one, but on a strictly professional level...yeah. He’d love to work with her. She always laughed him off when he suggested it, though. Maybe it insulted her or something, even though she was absolutely, stunningly perfect just as she was.

  Dane clapped Cameron once on the back. “See if you can get anything out of her. Find out whose ass we need to kick.”

  “Please,” Marla scoffed. “She’s an adult. I think she’s a little old for the protective big brother bit, don’t you guys?”

  “No,” Dane said. “Never.”

  That was reason number one why Cam would never lay a finger on her. Meredith was twenty-three years old, but it didn’t matter. Dane might rip his head off. Not because Cam couldn’t prevent him from doing it, but because he’d feel so shitty about it that he would let him.

  “I’ll ask her. But don’t expect much.”

  “Get a checklist of asses. We’ll go kick them.”

  Obviously Dane wasn’t hearing him. And if he knew the thoughts Cam had entertained about Meredith, he might bump his lifelong best friend to the top of that checklist.

  Chapter Four

  The beach was good for the soul. From the moment Meredith had stepped out of the car after the hours-long drive to smell the salty air, hear the rushing waves, she’d felt refreshed. Renewed. Ready to go, ready to tackle anything. Ready, even, to face a few days in close proximity with Cam...no big deal, right? At least, she hadn’t thought so at the time.

  Now, though, everything had changed.

  After her shot of desperate courage this morning, when she’d almost listened to Alyssa, she’d deflated again. Dane had called to find out what she wanted to do today, and she’d chickened out. All she’d been able to think about was the fact that there was probably a girl still in Cameron’s bedroom, not twenty feet from where her brother stood talking to her on his phone.

  So she’d slipped away from Alyssa, put on her bathing suit, and headed to the beach for some alone time. Standing with her toes buried in the sand, the sun hot on her mostly bare skin and the water cool around her ankles, she felt a little better. It was mid-June...hot but not intolerable, peak season but not overly crowded. Perfect. Yesterday she’d joined a group for a wild game of volleyball, but today she didn’t see any of that bunch. She probably would’ve avoided company right now, anyway.

  “Hey.”

  For a moment, she didn’t think that was addressed to her, but as someone walked up beside her, she turned with a start. When she saw who it was, her heart felt like a bullet ricocheting in her chest, and her own greeting tangled up in her throat.

  Cam’s dark eyes looked down at her from beneath his white baseball cap. Her mouth went instantly dry; her bottom lip trembled. Terrifyingly, her first impulse was to pitch herself into his arms and cry.

  But, thankfully, she didn’t do anything that uncool. She forced the corners of her mouth into some semblance of a smile and dislodged the lump from her throat . “Hey.”

  And held his gaze for a moment too long.

  That moment was everything. It was then that she realized how much she wanted this man; before, it seemed, she hadn’t had a clue. Not really. His body was nothing short of miraculous, and the miracle didn’t stop there. As intense and intimidating as those dark, dark brown eyes could be, they could also warm like melted chocolate and crinkle adorably with his smile. And he was generous with his smiles. And hugs, oh hell yes, he gave the best hugs. With arms like that, how could he not?

  Most importantly, though, he was a genuinely good guy. If the years had shown her nothing else, they’d shown her that.

  Something welled up in her, some unnamable emotion. He saw it; she knew he had to, because that something was too big just for her. It overflowed and passed through the air between them like lightning shooting through a black summer night. It was as thick as the humidity.

  Against every rule her brain would try to throw at her, she stepped forward, stretched up on her toes, and kissed him. Not caring about anyone or anything else. Not what her brother might think, not about some floosy who might be hanging around somewhere waiting for him.

  Just him. Just her Cameron, her friend.

  She felt the shock go through him, the sudden stiffening of his body and the way his hands gripped her upper arms. For one terrible moment, she thought he would shove her away.

  He didn’t. That something between them flared, too hot to be sweet, too powerful to resist. She wanted more, but he pulled away
from her before she could take it, lingering as if he could reclaim her mouth at any time.

  “Meredith...” So bittersweet, to hear her name in that deep, intimate tone he’d used on someone else last night. The shard of remembrance through her heart was almost too much. “What the hell are you doing?”

  Right? What the hell was she doing?

  A rush of water high on her thighs knocked her off balance. Meri’s senses were already tumbling from that briefest of kisses, and she nearly fell. Cam’s grip on her arms was the only thing that kept her on both legs, and then he was ushering her out of the water. Sand clung to her wet feet as she tromped dejectedly at his side.

  Damn. Damn, damn, damn, what had she done?

  He leaned over to snatch her flowery beach towel from her bag and flung it around her shoulders, avoiding her gaze. Her heart thudded dully.

  “Are you mad at me?” she asked.

  “Hell, yes, I’m mad. What were you doing? For all you knew, Dane could’ve seen that.”

  “I don’t give a shit what my brother sees.”

  “Well, I do. Especially when it comes to you.”

  She glanced around. Indeed, there was no sign of Dane or Marla. “If they’re not here, what are you doing here?”

  He slung her beach bag over one shoulder and shrugged the other, gazing toward the condominium unit. Had he even looked at her once? She followed his gaze, taking in the rows of balconies, all eight stories of them. She picked out the one that was hers and Alyssa’s. She didn’t really know which one was Cam’s. But it was definitely within hearing distance, wasn’t it?

  “He wanted me to check on you. He said you sounded off this morning.”

  He had no idea how “off” she was. That was just great, though. Even over the phone, she couldn’t mask her emotions.