Shamless

  “And then you go and pull that,” he went on. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Did you have fun last night?” she blurted. “You didn’t come to dinner.”

  He started walking toward the building—running away from the question?—and she followed, keeping up as best she could with his long strides through the sugar-white sand. “I guess,” he said nonchalantly.

  It sounded like you did. Oooh, she wanted to say it. She wanted to say it so bad.

  At the same time, she wanted to forget the night’s events had ever happened. Not possible. Even more importantly, though, she didn’t want him to know what she’d done. What would he think of her if he knew she’d listened to the entire thing? If he knew how hot it had gotten her? Her face flamed at the very thought, along with a few other parts of her.

  God, his lips had been delectable for the few seconds she’d felt them. Warm and firm. She could only imagine what that mouth could do if he let go.

  Meri’s knees weakened and she staggered to a halt. Cam turned to look back at her. “Are you okay?”

  “Why are we going inside?”

  “Before you do something else batshit crazy, like kiss me in full view of everyone.”

  She glared at him, and he damn sure didn’t shy away from it that time. Beneath the bill of his cap, those dark eyes were as turbulent and intense as she’d ever seen them.

  Did they reflect the moonlight? Did the woman from last night enjoy looking into them as she came?

  Shit, shit, shit!

  Meri shoved past him and mounted the wooden steps up to the boardwalk.

  “Hey!”

  The planks were hot under her bare feet. They burned. She didn’t bother getting her flip-flops; she only walked faster.

  “Meredith.”

  Everything within her told her not to be this way with him. It wasn’t his fault; he didn’t know. The fact was she couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t be near him. Couldn’t look at him anymore if she couldn’t have him. It hurt too much.

  Muttering a curse, she stalled as the sun-heated walkway beneath her feet became too much for her tender soles. Dropping onto a bench, making sure to keep her towel between it and her bikini-clad ass, she looked up at him. “Can you get my shoes out of my bag, please?”

  Mouth set in a grim line, he did as she asked. He even slid them on her feet for her. She had to bite her lip at the sight of those sinewy, veined forearms, those big hands, so near her skin. As soon as the last one was in place, she shot up.

  “Will you go out with me tonight?”

  He froze, looking down on her. God. He had a good six or seven inches on her five-six. And she’d rendered him speechless. Cornered.

  “Goddamn, girl,” he practically growled, lifting the hair on her nape. He rubbed his eyes with the thumb and middle finger of his right hand. “Go out with you? Like...”

  “A date. Go out with me. Dinner. Or...I don’t know. Something. Just...” Meredith ran out of breath watching for his reaction.

  “We are here,” he began as if explaining to an uncomprehending toddler, “with your brother and his shark of a girlfriend. If he thinks for a second—”

  “If Dane thinks for a second that I’m out with you, he won’t have a care in the world. Neither will Marla.”

  “What in the hell has brought all of this on? Yesterday you were...fucking normal. Today you’re like some kind of crazy woman, kissing me, asking me out... What’s gotten into your head?”

  You, dammit! YOU. You and your fucking sex-saturated midnight voice I’d never heard before.

  If she didn’t stop, he was going to figure it out.

  She swallowed past the dryness in her throat. “There isn’t someone else, is there?”

  “No,” he said promptly. No hesitation whatsoever. Something inside of her came back to joyous life. He gauged the relief that was obviously written across her face and frowned. “What made you think there was?”

  “I don’t know. A feeling.”

  If Cameron caught the lie, he gave no indication. One corner of his mouth kicked up and he tapped the top of her head a couple of times. “I think the sun has gone to your head, kid.”

  “Don’t do that,” she said quietly. “I’m not a kid.”

  All humor left him. “I know that, Meredith.”

  “Just making sure.”

  “Listen, if things were different...”

  She shook her head. “Don’t patronize me, either. Be straight with me. You’ve known me since I was eight, surely you can give me that much respect.”

  “If we do this,” he said, “we do it as friends. Because you do have my respect, you know.”

  And you can’t fuck someone you respect?

  She wanted to argue, but she was flying blind right now, listening to her heart and not her mind. And she’d bought some time to think of everything she needed to say—whatever the hell that was. It was enough. For now. “Okay,” she said.

  “I’ll come by and get you at seven.” He grinned at her. “Think you can stay out of trouble until then?”

  “I’m not sure,” she said, turning to head to the elevator. “But I’ll try.”

  Chapter Five

  When Meredith answered his knock at her condo door at six fifty-five, Cam almost told her to go back in her bedroom and change. For one thing, her brother would shoot him for even thinking of looking at her in that skimpy dress, and for another, he might shoot any other guy who dared look at her, too.

  A muted burgundy, the dress was flowy but showy, the thin fabric molding to her natural curves and showing more than a little sun-kissed leg. Gold sandals encased her dainty feet, and her long brown hair lay over her breasts in big, voluminous curls.

  But when she smiled at him, he lost all train of thought. His throat tightened up, along with other parts of his anatomy. If this was how she wanted him to see her all night, who the fuck was he to argue?

  He wanted to tell her she looked beautiful. He wanted to treat this like an actual date. As she greeted him sweetly and slid her fingers between his own, he realized she still had every intention of treating it as such.

  Shit. This was so not good. If he had a damn brain in his head, he would call the whole thing off. March her back into her condo and leave here there, go back to his own and pretend this entire day had never happened.

  Her scent enveloped him. Something tropical and mysterious. Her warm, slender fingers laced with his felt alarmingly right.

  “Have you thought about where you want to go?” he asked.

  “I saw a little oyster bar yesterday while Alyssa and I were out shopping. I wanted to try it out.”

  Oysters. Oy. “Whatever you want.”

  She gave him a wink. “I like hearing that.”

  God, this girl could have him eating out of her hand if he weren’t careful. He’d always happily taken on a protective role with her, but what about when she needed protecting from him? He didn’t know if he was strong enough to control himself when it came to her. She’d never forced his hand like this before, which had allowed him to maintain that safe distance. Now, she was crossing it, closing it, and holy shit, but if he caught one more whiff of that perfume, remembered one more time what her warm, salty lips had tasted like on his own...

  He’d brought his truck along on the trip, and for that he was thankful. Opening the passenger door for her without comment, he resolved to not stare at her ass as she climbed inside.

  Which was an abso-fucking-lutely impossible feat for a red-blooded male to accomplish. Her dress tightened briefly across her hips and he caught the faintest indication of a panty line, not to mention an ample amount of leg.

  That skin. Not a blemish. No doubt as soft and smooth as it looked. Sweet Jesus, he was doomed. But he went around and got in his truck and carried on with this charade like a sucker.

  As they drove, she chatted about how beautiful the sunset was and how great the weather had been. Mundane shit they might have talked about in the
normal world. He managed to comply with her need for small talk, even pulling some half-brained comments out of his ass as required to keep up his end and not be a total asshole.

  “Did you tell Dane we were going out?” she asked at last, adding, “Oh, there’s the spot.”

  He flipped his blinker in the direction she’d indicated, turning into the parking lot of a lively looking little beachside restaurant. “Yeah.”

  She chuckled. “As friends?”

  “Actually, I didn’t say either way. I just said we were hanging out. He didn’t comment and I didn’t offer any further explanation.”

  “What if he had asked?” she pushed.

  “I might’ve just told him the truth, that I don’t know what the hell is going on with you.” A thought occurred to him, an ugly thought, and he didn’t want to let it take root. “This isn’t about him, is it? You aren’t, like, pissed at him and trying to run some kind of game, are you?”

  Meri scoffed. “Please, Cameron. You act like you don’t know me, but you do. I would never do anything like that. No, this has nothing to do with Dane. I was only curious, is all.”

  He found a park. She didn’t wait for him to open her door before bailing out, and he wondered if he’d insulted her. But damn. If she didn’t want him confused as all hell, then she should stop confusing the hell out of him. Seemed logical, right?

  The sunset painted the world golden-orange, casting reddish highlights in Meredith’s hair and enchanting him further. He allowed himself the barest of touches as they entered the restaurant, resting his hand against the small of her back for a moment as he escorted her inside. Even in that brief time, he catalogued the warmth of her skin through her dress. The silk of her hair against his arm. The way her muscles tensed, the way her breath hitched.

  Again, he wished this were real. His arm would go so naturally around her slim shoulders. She would fit to his side so perfectly. The temptation to test out that theory was almost too much for him to resist. But then a waitress came by to lead them to a table, and Meri moved to follow her. The moment passed.

  She requested a spot out on the patio, and sighed happily as she took her seat across the table from him. Out on the beach, couples strolled in the deepening twilight, the sunset streaking the sky with deepest orange along with pinks and purples. The wind played gently with her hair as she stared out at the scene.

  He could look at her all night. But as soon as her gaze came back and alighted on his, he traded places with her, watching the waves and the frolicking seagulls while he felt the weight of her blue eyes on him.

  “This is gorgeous,” she said. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world but right here.”

  She wasn’t looking out there; she was looking at him. And he agreed with her; no-fuckin’-where else could be better than this. It was a thought that nearly crushed the soul from him. Dane, he thought desperately, I’m sorry, buddy. I think it’s been inevitable all along that we end up here.

  Meri ordered chilled white wine, and he wondered if that wouldn’t be the final nail in his coffin. He decided to play it safe: water only.

  “No drink?” she asked, looking a little pouty.

  I’m on to you, pretty girl.

  “I got my fill last night.”

  Her face underwent an odd transformation, but he couldn’t interpret it. “So...you did go out by yourself last night.”

  “Yeah,” he said noncommittally, toying with the silverware. Meri swiped at her long bangs and cast her gaze down at his hands, watching him fidget.

  “Where?”

  “Some bar. Had a few too many.”

  “You don’t drink that often, health nut. Was something wrong?”

  “Just needed to unwind.”

  “Hmm.”

  And that was it for conversation, at least until she’d had a glass of wine and their oysters on the half shell arrived. Then they talked about ordinary things: his job, her job. She was a secretary at a real estate firm and loved everything about it except one of the partners who gave her the creeps. Anyone on her radar was on his too. The bastard had better not ever get handsy, and he said so, but he didn’t especially like how she lit up when he did.

  The restaurant was one of those joints where the patrons could leave their signatures to commemorate their visit. Meredith produced a pen from her purse and wrote her name on the table in her loopy handwriting, then handed it over to him. He signed right underneath and added the date. She wrote something else he couldn’t see, then tucked her pen back in her purse.

  “What was that?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” she said, smiling mysteriously.

  “Come on,” he coaxed.

  She blushed. “I wrote ‘first date.’”

  “Ah. Okay.”

  “Well, it is. It doesn’t have to be the first of many, I don’t guess. But it is the first.”

  Girl, if only you knew. He’d be overjoyed if it could be the first of thousands. A lifetime of dates.

  “Do you remember when you beat up Andrew Carson for me?”

  And that was the last thing he’d expected her to bring up. He laughed. “Hell, yes, I do. The little shit had it coming.”

  She grinned, putting a drop of cocktail sauce on her oyster. “I can’t even recall exactly what it was he said to me, but I’ll never forget you doing that.”

  Cam did. He’d made a comment about her flat chest, and he’d overheard it. For Christ’s sake, she’d only been twelve or so. He’d taken great satisfaction in grabbing that creep by the collar of his shirt and slugging him one, even if it did land him in detention for a week. As far as he knew, Andrew had never dared to even speak to Meredith again, so it had been worth it.

  “I wonder whatever happened to him,” she mused.

  He shrugged. He couldn’t care less. “Whatever it is that happens to loudmouthed little turds once they get out in the world, I suppose.”

  Meredith knocked back one of her oysters. He watched the bliss cross her face as she swallowed and felt something he’d been trying to deny—his cock throbbing in his pants. “Mmm,” she said, sweeping her tongue across her lips. “Heaven on a shell.”

  He wasn’t crazy about them himself—a taste he’d never really acquired—but he was enjoying the hell out of watching her. Her blush from earlier remained, and it intensified as she sipped her wine. “Oh my God, Cam. This is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

  Cameron laughed. “I think it was yours.”

  “No.” She shook her head, flicking a curl behind her shoulder and displaying the creamy expanse of skin above her neckline. “It was yours too, you just didn’t want to admit it.”

  “I didn’t, huh?”

  “Nope.” Her eyelids had grown heavier, he could see, hooding her blue pinwheel irises. Beautiful. Whether from the wine or the food or—dare he think it?—lust, it looked good on her. She’d bloomed. Maybe it was a combination of all three, a perfect storm leading him to his demise.

  He’d go smiling.

  Yesterday, he’d been halfway pissed that she seemed to ignore him. Today, he’d been halfway pissed that she’d kissed him. Asked him out. Obviously had thought of him as something more. What the hell?

  She ate. She drank. She touched his hand, and he didn’t move it. Her foot brushed his under the table, and he didn’t move it. He should have. He should’ve acted like he’d been struck by lightning. He should have been responsible. Her eyes grew heavier, and he felt that weight in his dick. Hell, he didn’t have to drink a drop; he was drunk off her alone.

  “Meri,” he said, holding her sultry gaze, “I think you need to slow down. In more ways than one.”

  She giggled, teeth white against her naturally reddened lips. She had the tiniest speck of cocktail sauce at the corner of her mouth; he couldn’t stop himself from reaching across the table and swiping it away with his thumb. Her eyes closed; she caught his hand in hers, holding it there.

  That soft touch was a trap he couldn’t spring. Lik
e a desperate wild animal, he was caught, helpless. She turned her lips to his hand. Didn’t kiss, didn’t do anything...let him feel. Then, astoundingly, she drew his hand down to her breast.

  “Meredith,” he snapped, springing the trap at last and pulling away. No one could see; they had a corner spot and her back was to most of the crowd. Still. That brief touch could have lasted an hour for the impact it had on him. Soft, so fucking soft. He’d been in bed and on a balcony with a naked girl last night, and none of it had shaken him the way barely brushing Meredith’s breast had. Over her clothes. He couldn’t imagine seeing her naked. Could not even go there right now, or he might embarrass himself.

  “I’m sorry,” she said miserably. He’d been glancing around at the other patrons; now he looked back at her.

  “You don’t have to apologize to me,” he said. “Ever. I could have stopped that. I should have. Momentary lapse.”

  “You could have stopped that? What is that, exactly? It isn’t as if I’m not aware of what I just did. It’s not like some other force has taken over my body.”

  He sat back. “You’ve had a little too much to drink.”

  “No, I haven’t. Trust me.”

  “I can’t trust you, sweetheart. Not when you’re like this.”

  “Like what? It’s only me here. Same old Meredith. If I’ve had a few inhibitions removed since last night, then—” She stopped abruptly and seemed to deflate. “Never mind. You can take me back now, since you obviously want to.”

  “What happened last night?” A terrible thought occurred to him, one so vile and atrocious that he couldn’t even consider it for long. Surely... Oh, fuck, surely not. Meredith had always struggled with insomnia; he knew that. Dane had talked about it before. They joked about her boundless energy. He’d fucked a girl on his balcony in the middle of the night hoping to not disturb anyone in the unit.

  No. Just no. He couldn’t even dare ask her if she might have been awake, might have been sitting outside watching the waves. Hey, did you hear me getting it on with some nameless stranger last night, perchance? Motherfuck. No way.

  Her eyes welled up with tears. It was the worst thing he’d ever seen in his entire life, those beautiful eyes, so happy and content and mischievous ten minutes ago, crushed and shattered and broken.