Shamless

  “Let’s get out of here,” he said swiftly, signing the check the waitress had just dropped off. Meredith kept her head down as he led her out of the restaurant. She remained dead silent the entire way back to the condo. Meanwhile, he struggled with the terrible idea he’d had, tried to push it away, tried to tell himself there was no fucking way it had happened.

  He pulled into the condo parking lot. It was dark now, no romantic sunset to soften the mood. In fact, the western clouds that had helped create such a gorgeous canvas in the sky had rolled in fully to choke out the moon and stars.

  If she’d heard them, he wanted to fucking die.

  “Want to walk on the beach with me?” he asked as they sat silently in his truck. Funny. Yesterday, he’d craved her attention. Today, he didn’t know that he wanted the kind she was giving him. Now, he was afraid to let her go.

  “Okay,” she said in a small voice. The undertone of eagerness broke his heart.

  What an asshole he’d been.

  “Are you okay?”

  Nodding, she swiped under her eyes where silent tears must have been falling ever since he’d ushered her from the restaurant.

  “Meredith, please talk to me.”

  “I’m fine,” she insisted, sounding stronger now. “A walk sounds great. The beach is good for the soul.” She laughed without humor, then leaned over and kissed his cheek before popping open her door and getting out. With a sigh, skin tingling from the touch of her lips, he followed.

  This time, he didn’t wait for her to take his hand. He held hers. Stroked it softly with his thumb as they strolled. It wasn’t long before the hem of her dress and the cuffs he’d rolled into his pants were soaking wet, but neither of them cared. She cheered up—he’d never known her to be down for long—and he was able to forget the ridiculous notion that she’d been privy to any of his nighttime activities.

  They laughed and chatted with families who were searching the beach with flashlights, looking for shells and sand crabs. Cam stopped to help a little boy dig for the elusive critters, and Meri dropped right down in the water with him, dress and all, laughing and plowing at the wet sand with both hands. If it gave him an excellent view of her cleavage, he wasn’t complaining.

  “I got him!” she said happily, showing the little boy her wiggling prize.

  “Cool!” he exclaimed. She dropped the crab into his bucket of sand, and he jumped up and ran back to his parents.

  “Cute,” she said. “When Dane and I would come here with our parents when we were kids, we would hunt for those things all night if they would let us. I remember him getting so mad if I found more of them than he did.”

  “That sounds about right.”

  “I always wondered what the big deal was. Someday I want to do that with my kids, though.” She stood and brushed her hands against her dress with a smile. Then she seemed to realize what she was doing and looked down at herself. “Oh my God, I’m ruined.”

  On the contrary. She’d never looked more stunning. As soon as she graced him with that smile that rendered the absent moon needless, he took a cue from her book. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, sand, salt, water and all, not waiting for an invitation.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered breathlessly against his lips. He didn’t give her time to adjust. He wanted her as off-balance as she’d made him all day. Coaxing her mouth open, he teased her with little flicks of his tongue, tasting the salt of the ocean and the wine she’d had at dinner as she melted completely into his arms, trusting him with her slight weight.

  For all he knew, Dane could be standing ten feet away; he didn’t give a fuck. All that mattered was Meredith, what she wanted. It was all that had ever mattered. Now that what she wanted was Cam, well, he would just have to give her that, too. Or die trying.

  Chapter Six

  It was almost embarrassing that he did this to her. Made her so shameless. That his voice alone could hold her so captivated, that it could induce her to touch herself to the sounds of his lovemaking. She wanted more than anything to not have to—she wanted him to do it for her. Maybe it was insanity to hear something like that one night and then launch a seductive assault on the guy the next day, but she couldn’t stop herself. She didn’t know who she was anymore. But whoever he made her, that’s who she wanted to be. The old Meredith could die a thousand deaths for all she cared, as long as Cameron held her like this. Kissed her. Let her experience for herself what she’d heard last night. If it all ended in the morning, at least she would have the memory.

  His big hands skated down her sides and around to her ass, squeezing gently as she pushed her hips into him. There were families and kids out here, but it was dark. Unless an errant flashlight beam hit them, they would remain unseen.

  Cam pulled away to glance around them, and she took the opportunity to kiss his strong, smooth, spicy-scented jaw and his throat, smiling against his skin. He’d shaved for her; he’d had stubble this morning. She hadn’t paid much attention until now.

  “Baby,” he murmured, and a shivery little thrill went through her at the endearment, so foreign coming from his lips. “Where should we go? I’m shacked up with your brother and you’re with Alyssa…”

  Ohhhh. She clenched fistfuls of his shirt; God, he smelled so good. He was hard against her belly. So big. So thick. “Alyssa said she wouldn’t be back until late.” She had to smile at the memory of her best friend’s actual words: I don’t care if I have to get a hotel room for the night, or even sleep in my car. Bring that man back here and fuck him until he can’t walk. Just send me a text to let me know.

  “Are you sure?” he whispered in her ear, and she knew he wasn’t asking about Alyssa’s absence.

  Meri slipped her hands up his chest and into his thick, dark hair, staring up into his eyes. “Absolutely. Completely.”

  “Come on.”

  They trudged from the water together, chuckling at their wet clothes and the sand they picked up along the way. The boardwalk that had burned her feet earlier still held the warmth of the sun which had set an hour ago. They collected their shoes and stopped to wash off their feet before entering the elevator to get to Meri’s floor.

  It was the slowest elevator in the entire world, but Cameron didn’t waste the time. He pushed Meredith against the wall and kissed the life out of her. His damp, hot hands sought and found flesh; she dropped her sandals so she could pull him closer, ever closer. By the time the doors opened, he’d slipped one spaghetti strap from her shoulder, stopping just short of baring her breast.

  To her surprise, he didn’t release her, only caught her up in his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He had to dodge a couple of guys who snickered at them on the way; she couldn’t be bothered to care.

  “Key?” he asked, stopping at her door. She’d forgotten her shoes, she realized, but she didn’t give a damn.

  “Try it,” she told him, too fascinated with his lips to release them for long. “Alyssa probably didn’t even lock it. She’s terribly irresponsible.”

  “Is she, now.” A minor shift in his stance, and the door opened. A rush of cool air bathed her back. “I guess so. Maybe she’s not the only one.”

  “Maybe not.” He tasted so good. So good. She throbbed. She ached. And they were alone, finally, gloriously alone in the dark condo.

  Effortlessly, he carried her across the living room, guided only by the light spilling in from the patio door. “The one on the left,” she told him, and he took her into her bedroom, spilling her across her bed. She raised one knee so that her flimsy skirt climbed her thigh, and Cam ran his palm gently up her calf and over her bent knee. She felt the rasp of sand under his caress.

  “Know what I’m thinking?” he asked. She heard it. That dark, sex-roughened voice. All for her. No one else. It had echoed in her dreams through the one or two restless hours of sleep she’d managed to get last night.

  Since she couldn’t speak, she shook her head helplessly on the mattress.

  “A
shower.”

  He might be right about that. They were liberally covered with sand and salt and the scent of the ocean. Her dress was a damp puddle around her hips and his pants legs were drenched. Not that they needed the clothes for what they each had in mind, but that sand could be abrasive.

  “Okay,” she whispered. He took her hand and tugged her up. She followed him into her small bathroom, suddenly nervous as hell when he stripped his shirt off.

  Jesus. Christ. She often forgot how unbelievable he looked until confronted with the reality. It was as if her memory refused to accept that a specimen of his beauty existed in the world, and wouldn’t quite conjure up the complete picture.

  He scrubbed a hand over his tousled black hair, leaving white flecks of sand in it, and tossed his shirt into the corner, grinning at her. Oh, he knew he was all that, didn’t he?

  She had nothing to be ashamed of looks wise, but all at once she was acutely aware of her every flaw. Yeah, her memory had no problem conjuring those up. What if she turned him off? What if the girl from last night had been as perfect as he was?

  Seeing her distress, he stepped to her, trailing a finger up her quivering thigh and taking the hem of her dress with it. “You planning to take this off?” he asked huskily.

  “I was thinking of showering in it,” she said, staring into his eyes.

  He chuckled. “I’m not gonna let you do that, you know.” Higher and higher that finger crept. Leaving her thigh, journeying onto her belly muscles. They pulled tight under his touch. She sucked in a breath, her heart shuddering with nervousness and excitement. “I asked if you were sure,” he reminded her.

  “And I am,” she said quickly.

  A frown creased his brow. “Meri, you aren’t…you’re not a virgin, right?”

  “No. It’s just…” You make me feel like one. “I want you so much. I’ve waited so long.”

  “I never knew.” He’d reached the point where he needed her help. She lifted her arms and he pulled the dress off over her head. It joined his shirt in the corner. Now only her panties and strapless bra—matching burgundy silk and lace—remained between her and stark nudity. His gaze drank her in. Without looking away from her, he dropped his hands to his belt.

  “Let me,” she said, stepping to him with a sudden shot of courage. She wanted to undress him like he was undressing her. Discover him. Know every inch of him. She worked at his belt and then his fly, eager now, thinking surely the sight of him was going to blow a fuse in her brain. She already knew her memory couldn’t handle him. His black pants joined the growing pile after he stepped out of them and kicked them away. He was a boxers man, not that she gave much of a damn. It was what he looked like out of them that she wanted to know.

  Years of longing. All coming to an end. Tonight.

  “Can I return the favor?” he asked, taking her hand and placing it on his stomach. Her eyes closed at the feel of him. Hard muscle. Warm skin. He let her trace the ridges of his six-pack and then coaxed her down. Down. Over his underwear. Her questing fingers found his hardness straining against the fabric. Oh. As she gently measured the length and girth of him, his fingers tightened around her wrist and he groaned.

  So big. The biggest she’d ever had, for damn sure. And sex had mostly been uncomfortable for her, painful at worst…she couldn’t recall ever experiencing real pleasure during the act itself. Only sparks here and there, with the foreplay being the best part. His size made her nervous, but her need mitigated it. If anyone could change all of that for her, it was him. Someone she trusted inherently.

  And she did. She trusted Cameron with her very life, so of course she would trust him with her body.

  She eased her hand under his shorts, seeking his cock skin-to-skin. He grabbed the waistband in his fist and shoved it down. Meri loved that, a move of desperation, as if he couldn’t wait a second longer for her to see him. So confident; she wished she could be that way. Where was that girl who’d put his hand on her breast at the dinner table earlier? She’d taken her wine and deserted her, leaving her to handle this all on her own, the drunken hussy.

  At the sight of him, the breath rushed from her lips. She’d never thought of that particular appendage as beautiful, but his was. Gorgeous.

  “You think you were the only one waiting?” he asked in a rush as she wrapped her fingers around him and stroked. Oh, God, her fingers didn’t meet her thumb… “I suffered every asshole you dated, wanted to kill them to think of them touching you, to think of you wanting them and not me. I’ve waited too, Meri, and I thought I would wait forever. You shot your arrow through me so long ago.” As he’d spoken, his hands slid around and unfastened her bra. She’d been so enamored of his words she scarcely noticed until it fell away in his hand and the air circulated over her bare breasts. With a groan, she pressed herself against him, suddenly shy, needing him to cover her. He let her, not pushing her to let him see her. Stroking her back with those big hands, holding her safe in those amazingly strong arms. Against him, she felt so tiny.

  “If you aren’t ready for this, or if you change your mind—”

  “No, never. I promise.” She lifted her head and sought a kiss. He briefly obliged, sliding a hand up through her hair to hold the back of her head. But he wasn’t done talking, and now he held her so that she had to look at him, so that she couldn’t shy away from the intensity in his dark eyes.

  “It changes everything,” he warned. “I damn sure won’t be able to go back to the way we were.”

  Good. She never wanted to go back to that. Never. It had been awful. Whatever this changed between them, it couldn’t be worse. Could it? “I’m so okay with that.”

  “And you’re not a casual thing for me, Meri. I didn’t vow not to lay a hand on you all those years ago only to break it on a whim.”

  A whim. She hadn’t stopped to examine her feelings much since last night. She only knew they were hurt from what she’d heard, horribly hurt, a big gaping wound at the forefront. What was beneath it? She couldn’t examine it when her body throbbed this way. Couldn’t he just stop talking and kiss her?

  But he was being honorable, and this was important to him. It gave her a warm glow to know that. She tried to clear out the fog of lust in her head to give consideration to his words. “I don’t think anything between us can ever be casual. I know that.”

  “What I’m saying, Meredith, is that if I get inside you, don’t ever plan on getting me out.”

  Her knees melted and his arm around her waist tightened. “Okay,” she said dumbly, and he chuckled in her ear, the puff of air raising the hair at her nape.

  “Good enough for me.” His hands covered her panty-clad ass and squeezed, pulling her up tight against his erection. “But shower first.”

  The hot water felt heavenly needling her skin. And he did like it hot, almost intolerably so. All at once, she felt the sand and salt water and heat and stress of the day melting from her body to wash down the drain. Cameron’s hands helped, kneading her muscles, caressing, soothing, until any remnant of shyness or anxiety quickly followed. He dropped to his knees, kissing her breasts, running his tongue along her tan lines. Her head fell back to the shower tiles and she pushed into him, brazen now, seeking more instead of skittering away. Her fingers tangled in his soft, wet hair. He sucked her left nipple until it tingled and ached, his opposite hand slipping between her legs. A groan sounded around her tight skin as he found her wet for him. Meri spread wider, giving him access, needing more of that agonizingly slow and gentle touch.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “More than I imagined.” Her skin burned and throbbed as his finger pushed gently inside her tight body. Internal muscles quivered and clenched against the sweet invasion. “Meredith.”

  All she could muster was a drawn out, desperate “Mmm.” Cameron’s mouth abandoned its delectable play with her nipple to seek lower, even needier places.

  Oh no, oh no, if he did that, she would die, just die…

  His finger
pushed deeper. It effectively put an end to any half-assed protests that might be forming in her addled brain. She looked down at the most gorgeous sight she’d ever seen: that dark head lowering between her legs. Those powerful shoulders, wide and taut with sexual tension, perfect to rest one leg on so that she could open to his exploring tongue…

  A second finger stretched her wider as said exploring tongue took a long, leisurely trip over her tight, swollen clit. Her pussy gripped him inside as sensation ricocheted outside. Every time she clenched, he growled, and the vibrations shivered through her bud, and she clenched again. A blessedly vicious cycle. Gently, he fucked her with his fingers while his skilled tongue wreaked havoc externally.

  Oh, she wanted to be in bed for this—this strain of remaining upright was too much. Keeping up the devastating thrust of his fingers, he trailed his mouth along her inner thigh propped on his shoulder, kissing and nipping and teasing. “You’re more beautiful than I imagined,” he murmured, echoing his thought from earlier. “You’re softer than I imagined. You taste better than I ever dreamed you could. You sound sweeter. Fuck, Meredith. If this—” he gave his fingers a slow twirl inside her and she cried out, “—feels even better around me than I imagine it will, I might die.”

  “Please,” she whimpered. “Take me to bed. Let’s find out. Just don’t die.”

  Laughing, he gathered her into his arms and did as she said.

  Chapter Seven

  He laid her back on the mattress, both of them washed clean and still damp. Meredith’s feverish skin hadn’t cooled from the touch of his mouth between her thighs, and she ached from the intrusion of his fingers. He braced himself above her and did it all over again, kissing every inch of her, lingering when she moaned. Holding her still when she writhed. The light from the bathroom gave her scarce illumination, but it was enough; she delighted in smoothing her fingers over his muscles, seeing his tattoos pass under her sliding touch.