The Story of a Doctor's Telephone—Told by His Wife

  CHAPTER VI.

  One of the most discouraging things I have encountered is a great blanksilence. The doctor asks his wife to keep a close watch on the telephonefor a little while, and leaves the office. Pretty soon it rings and shegoes to answer it.

  "Hello?" Silence. "What is it?" More silence. She knows that "unseenhands or spirits" did not ring that bell. She knows perfectly well thatthere is a listening ear at the other end of the line. But you cannotconverse with silence any more than you can speak to a man you meet onthe street if he purposely looks the other way.

  Mary knew that the listening ear belonged to someone who recognized thatit was the wife who answered instead of the doctor, and therefore keptsilent. She smiled and hung up the receiver--sorry not to be able tohelp her husband and to give the needed information to the patient.

  But when this had happened several times she thought of a moresatisfactory way of dealing with the situation. She would take down thereceiver and ask, "What is it?" She would wait a perceptible instant andthen say distinctly and pleasantly, "Doctor Blank will be out of theoffice for about twenty minutes. He asked me to tell you." That neverfailed to bring an answer, a hasty, shame-voiced, "Oh, I--well--thankyou, Mrs. Blank, I'll call again, then."

  * * * * *

  The doctor's absence from town has its telephonic puzzles. One dayduring Dr. Blank's absence his wife was called to the 'phone.

  "Mrs. Blank, a telegram has just come for the doctor. What must I dowith it?" It was the man at the office who put the question.

  "Do you know what it is, or where it's from?"

  "I asked the operator and he says it's from Mr. Slocum, who is inCincinnati. He telegraphed the doctor to go and see his wife who issick."

  "Well, take it over to Dr. Brown's office and ask him to go and seeher."

  About half an hour later the thought of the telegram came into her mind."I wonder if he found Dr. Brown in. I'd better find out."

  She rang the office. "Did you find Dr. Brown in?"

  "Yes, he was there."

  "And you gave the message to him?"

  "Yes, he took it."

  "I hope he went right down?"

  "No, he said he wouldn't go."

  "Wouldn't go!" exclaimed Mary, much astonished.

  "He said he knew Slocum and he was in all probability drunk when he sentthe message."

  "Why, what a queer conclusion to arrive at. The doctor may be right butI think we ought to know."

  "I called up their house after I came back from Dr. Brown's office, butnobody answered. So she can't be very sick or she'd be at home."

  Mary put up the receiver hesitatingly. She was not satisfied about thismatter. She went about her work, but her thoughts were on the messageand the sick wife. Suddenly she thought of something--the Slocumchildren were in school. The mother had not been able to get to the'phone to answer it. The thought of her lying there alone and helplesswas too much. Mary went swiftly to the telephone and called the office.

  "Johnson, you have to pass Mrs. Slocum's on your way to dinner. I thinkshe may have been too ill to go to the 'phone. Please stop and find outsomething definite."

  "All right."

  "And let me know as soon as you can. If she isn't sick don't tell heranything about the telegram. Think up some excuse as you go along forcoming in, in case all is well."

  In about twenty minutes the expected summons came.

  "Well, I stopped, Mrs. Blank."

  "What did you find?"

  "Well, I found a hatchet close to Slocum's gate."

  "How lucky!"

  "I took it in to ask if it was theirs."

  "Was it?"

  "No, it wasn't."

  "Who told you so?"

  "Mrs. Slocum, herself, and she's about the healthiest looking invalidI've seen lately."

  "I'm much relieved. Thank you, Johnson." And as she left the 'phone shemeditated within herself, "Verily, the tender thoughtfulness of thehusband drunk exceedeth that of the husband sober."

  When night came and Mary was preparing for bed she thought, "It will bevery unpleasant to be called up only to tell people the doctor is nothere." She rose, went to the 'phone and called central.

  "This is Mrs. Blank, central. If anyone should want the doctor tonight,or for the next two nights, please say he is out of town and will not behome until Saturday."

  Then with a delicious sense of freedom she went to bed and slept assweetly as in the long-ago when the telephone was a thing undreamed of.

  * * * * *

  The ting-a-ling-ling-ling--came as Mary was pouring boiling water intothe teapot, just before six on a cool July evening. The maid wastemporarily absent and Mary had been getting supper in a very leisurelyway when she saw her husband step up on the porch. Then her leisure wasexchanged for hurry. The doctor's appearance before meal time was thesignal to which she responded automatically--he had to catch atrain--someone must have him right away, or what not? She must not keephim waiting a minute. She pushed the teapot back on the stove and wentswiftly to the 'phone.

  "Is this Dr. Blank's office?" asked a disturbed feminine voice.

  "No, his residence. He is here. Wait a minute, please, and I will callhim."

  She hurried out to the porch, "Isn't papa here?" she asked of her smallboy sitting there.

  "He _was_."

  "Well, where is he now?"

  "I don't know where he is."

  Provoking! She hurried back. He must be in the garden. An occasionalimpulse to hoe sometimes came over him (especially if the day happenedto be Sunday).

  In the kitchen her daughter stood at a table cutting the bread forsupper. "Go quick, and see if papa's in the garden. Tell him to come tothe 'phone at once."

  Then she hurried back to re-assure the waiting one. But what could shetell her? Perhaps the doctor was not in the garden. She rushed out andbeat her daughter in the race toward it. She sent her voice ahead,"John!" she called.

  "Yes."

  "Come to the 'phone this minute." Back she ran. Would she still bewaiting?

  "Hello."

  "Hello."

  "Yes, the doctor's here. He's in the garden but will be in in just aminute. Hold the 'phone please."

  "Very well, thank you."

  It was a minute and a half before the doctor got there.

  "Hello." No answer.

  "Hello!" Silence.

  "_Hello!_" Still no reply. The doctor rang sharply for central.

  "Who was calling me a minute ago."

  "I don't know--we can't keep track of everybody who calls."

  The doctor hung up the receiver with an explosive monosyllable. Mary'spatience was giving out too. "She couldn't wait one half minute. I toldher you would be here in a minute and it took you a minute and a half."

  "She may be waiting at the office, I'll go down there."

  "I wouldn't do it," said Mary, warmly. "It's much easier for her to staya half minute at the 'phone than for you to tramp back to the office."

  But he went. As his wife went back to the kitchen her daughter called,"Mother, did you take the loaf of bread in there with you?"

  "Why, no."

  "Well, it's not on the table where I was cutting it when you sent meafter father."

  "It's on the floor!" shouted the small boy, peering through the window."_I_ won't eat any of it!"

  "Don't, exquisite child," said his sister, stooping over to recover theloaf, dropped in her haste. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Mary went.

  "Isn't the doctor coming?"

  "He came. He called repeatedly, but got no reply."

  "I was right here with my ear to the 'phone the whole time."

  "He concluded it might be someone waiting for him at the office, so hehas gone down there."

  "I'm not there. I'm here at home."

  "Hello," broke in the doctor's voice.

  "O, here you are!"

  "Doctor, I've been taking calomel
today and then I took some salts and Ithoughtlessly dissolved them in some lemonade I had handy!"

  A solemn voice asked, "Have you made your will?"

  A little giggle before the patient said "No."

  "You'll have plenty of time. You needn't hurry about it."

  "You don't think it will hurt me then?"

  "No. Not a bit."

  "I was afraid the acid might salivate me."

  "Yes, that's an old and popular idea. But it won't."

  "That sounds good, Doctor. I was awfully scared. Much obliged.Good-bye."

  * * * * *

  A week or two after the above incident the doctor was seated at hisdinner, a leisurely Sunday dinner. The telephone called and he rose andwent to it. The usual hush fell upon the table in order that he mighthear.

  "Is this Dr. Blank?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, Doctor, this is Mrs. Abner. Would it be too much trouble for youto step into Hall's and ask them to send me up a quart of ice-cream fordinner?"

  "Certainly not. A quart?"

  "Yes, please. I'm sorry to bother you with it. They ought to have a'phone."

  "No trouble."

  The doctor hung up the receiver and reached for his hat.

  "Why, John, you surely can finish your dinner before you go!" exclaimedMary.

  "Then I'd spoil Mrs. Abner's dinner."

  "Mrs. Abner!"

  "Yes, she wants a quart of ice-cream for dinner."

  "I'd like to know what _you've_ got to do with it," said Mary tartly.

  "She thinks I'm at the office."

  "And the office is next door to Hall's and Hall's have no 'phone," saidMary smiling. "Of course you must go. Wouldn't Mrs. Abner feel mortifiedthough if she knew you had to leave your home in the midst of dinner toorder her ice-cream. But do hurry back, John."

  "Maybe I'd better stay there till the dinner hour is well over," laughedJohn. "Every now and then someone wants me to step into Hall's and orderup something."

  He went good-naturedly away and his wife looked after him marveling, butwithal admiring.

  * * * * *

  The doctor and his wife had been slumbering peacefully for an hour ortwo. Then came a loud ring and they were wide awake at once.

  "That wasn't the telephone, John, it was the door-bell."

  The doctor got into his dressing-gown and went to the door.

  His wife heard a man's voice, then her husband reply, then the doorshut. She lay back on her pillow but it was evident John was not comingback. She must have dozed, for it seemed to her a long time had gone bywhen she started to hear a noise in the other room. John had not yet gotoff.

  "You have to go some place, do you?" she called.

  "Yes,--just a little way. Look out for the 'phone, Mary. I think I'llhave to go down to Hanson's tonight, to meet the stork."

  "But how can I get word to you? They have no 'phone or that man wouldn'thave come after you."

  "Well, I have promised Hanson and I'll have to go there. If he 'phonesbefore I get back tell him he'll have to come down to Stetson's afterme. Or, you might wake one of the boys and send him over."

  "I'd rather try to wake Rip Van Winkle," said Mary, in a tone thatsettled it.

  In about an hour the doctor was back and snuggling down under thecovers.

  "They've got a fine boy over to Stetson's," he announced to his sleepywife.

  "They have!" she exclaimed, almost getting awake. Again they slept.

  Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling. Ting-a-ling-ling-ling.

  "That's Hanson," exclaimed the doctor springing up and groping his wayto the 'phone.

  "Yes."

  "Out where?"

  "Smith's on Parks avenue?.... _Not_ Smith's?.... I understand--a littlehouse farther down that street..... Yes, I'll come..... O, as soon as Ican dress and get there."

  Mary heard, but when he had gone, was soon in a deep sleep.

  By and by she found herself flinging off the covers and hurryingguiltily toward the summoning tyrant, her subconscious self telling herthat this was the third peal.

  "Hello."

  "Is the doctor there, Mrs. Blank?"

  "No, he is over at Stetson's. He said if you 'phoned to tell you youwould have to come there as they have no 'phone."

  "Wait a minute, Mrs. Blank," said the voice of central, "some one istrying to speak--"

  "What have I said!" thought Mary suddenly, thoroughly awake. "He gotback from Stetson's and went to another place. But I don't know whatplace nor where it is."

  The kindly voice of central went on:

  "It's the doctor who is talking, Mrs. Blank. I understand now. He saysif that message comes you are to 'phone him at James Smith's on Parksavenue."

  Mary looked at the clock. "So he's been there all this time. That storkis a little too busy tonight," she thought as she went shivering back tobed.

  Toward daylight she was roused by the return of her husband, whoannounced a new daughter in the world and then they went to sleep. Thenext morning she said, "John, I've just thought of something. Why didn'tyou have central 'phone you at Smith's if Hanson called and save me allthat bother?"

  "I guess it's because I'm so used to bothering you Mary, that I didn'tthink of it."

  * * * * *

  Mary was upstairs cleaning house most vigorously when the ring came. Shestopped and listened. It came again--three. She set the dust pan downand went.

  "I'll have to be out for an hour or more, Mary," said the doctor.

  "I heard that sigh," he laughed, "but it won't be very hard to sort ofkeep an ear on the 'phone, will it? Johnson may get in soon and then itwon't be necessary."

  "Very well, then, John," and she went upstairs, leaving the doors openbehind her.

  She had just reached the top when she had to turn about and retrace hersteps.

  "Hello." No answer.

  "Is someone calling Dr. Blank's house or office?"

  "I rang your 'phone by mistake," said central. Mary trudged up thestairs again. "This is more tiresome than cleaning house," she said toherself as she went along.

  In twenty minutes the summons came. She leaned her broom against thewall and went down.

  "O, this is Mrs. Blank. I'm very sorry to have put you to thistrouble--I wanted the doctor."

  She recognized the voice of her old pastor for whom she had a mostkindly regard.

  "He is out, but will be back within half an hour now, Mr. Rutledge."

  "Thank you, I'll call again, but I wonder that you knew my voice." Marylaughed.

  "I haven't heard it for awhile, but maybe I'll be at church next Sunday,if minding the telephone doesn't make me feel too wicked."

  "It's the wicked that church is for--come by all means."

  "I didn't mean to detain you, Mr. Rutledge. It is restful, though, afterdragging one's weary feet down to the 'phone to hear something besideall the ills that flesh is heir to. Come to see us soon--one day nextweek."

  Once more she wended her way upstairs and in about fifteen minutes camethe ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. "I surrender!" she declared.

  When she had gone down and put the receiver to her ear her husband'svoice spoke kindly,

  "I'm back, Mary, you're released."

  "Thank you, John, you are very thoughtful," and she smiled as she tookoff her sun-bonnet and sat herself down. "Not another time will I climbthose stairs this morning."

  * * * * *

  Mary sat one evening dreamily thinking about them--these messages thatcame every day, every day!

  Doctor, will it hurt Jennie to eat some tomatoes this morning--shecraves them so?

  Will is a great deal better. Can he have some ice-cream for dinner?

  I can hardly manage Henry any longer, Doctor, he's determined he _will_have more to eat. Can I begin giving him a little more today?

  Lemonade
won't hurt Helen, will it? She wants some.

  Doctor, I forget how many drops of that clear medicine I am to give.....Ten, you say? Thank you.

  Dr. Blank, is it after meals or before that the dark medicine is to begiven..... I thought so, but I wanted to be sure.

  We are out of those powders you left. Do you think we will need anymore?.... Then I'll send down for them.

  How long will you be in the office this morning, Doctor?...... Verywell, I'll be down in about an hour. I want you to see my throat.

  You wanted me to let you know how Johnny is this morning. I don't thinkhe has any fever now and he slept all night, so I guess you won't needto come down today.

  Dr. Blank, I've got something coming on my finger. Do you suppose it's afelon?.... You can tell better when you see it?.... Well, I suppose youcan. I'll be down at the office pretty soon and then I want you to tellme it's _not_ a felon.

  Mary seems a good deal better this morning, but she still has that painin her side.

  Doctor, I don't believe Joe is as well as he was last night. I think youhad better come down.

  As these old, old stories came leisurely into Mary's thoughts thetelephone rang three times. She rose from her chair before the fire andwent to answer it.

  "Is this Dr. Blank's office?"

  "No, his residence."

  "Is the doctor there?"

  "No, but he will be down on the seven o'clock train."

  "And it's now not quite six. This is Mr. Andrews."

  Mary knew the name and the man.

  "My wife is sick and I want to get a pint of alcohol for her."

  "An old subterfuge," thought Mary, "I'm afraid he wants it for himself."She knew that he was often under its influence.

  "I can't get it without a prescription from a physician, you know. Sheneeds it right away."

  "The thirst is on him," thought our listener, pityingly.

  The voice went on, "Mrs. Blank, couldn't you just speak to the druggistabout it so I could get it right away?"

  "Mr. Andrews," she said hastily, "the druggist would pay no attention tome. I'm not a physician, you know. The doctor will be here in anhour--see him," and she hurried the receiver into its place, anxious toget away from it. This was a story that was entirely new to her. Neverbefore had she been asked to procure a prescription for alcohol or anyof its attendant spirits. She liked the old stories best.

  * * * * *

  The doctor had been to the city and had got home at four o'clock in themorning. He had had to change cars in the night and consequently had hadlittle sleep. When the door-bell rang his wife awakened instantly at theexpected summons and rose to admit him. In a little while both were fastasleep. The wife, about a half hour later, found herself struggling tospeak to somebody about something, she did not know what. But when thesecond long peal came from the 'phone she was fully awakened. How shehated to rouse the slumberer at her side.

  "John," she called softly. He did not move.

  "John!" a little louder. He stirred slightly, but slept on.

  "John, _John_!"

  "Huh-h?"

  "The telephone."

  He threw back the covers, and rising, stumbled to the 'phone.

  "Hello."

  The voice of a little boy came to his half-awakened ear.

  "_Say_, Pa, _I_ can't sell these papers an' git through in time ferschool."

  "Yes, you _can_!" roared a voice. "You jist want to fool around." Thedoctor went back to bed.

  "Wasn't the message for you?" inquired his wife. "What a shame to rouseyou from your sleep for nothing."

  The doctor told her what the message was and was back in slumberland inan incredibly short space of time. Not so his wife. She was toothoroughly awake at last and dawn was beginning to peep around the edgesof the window shades. She would not court slumber now but would lieawake with her own thoughts which were very pleasant thoughts thismorning. By and by she rose softly, dressed and went out onto theveranda and looked long into the reddening eastern sky. Ever since shecould remember she had felt this keen delight at the aspect of the skyin the very early morning. She stood for awhile, drinking in the beautyand the peacefulness of it all. Then she went in to her awakeninghousehold, glad that the little boy had 'phoned his "Pa" and by somemeans had got her too.

  * * * * *

  One midsummer night a tiny ringing came faintly and pleasantly intoMary's dreams. Not till it came the second or third time did she awakento what it was. Then she sat up in bed calling her husband, who had justawakened too and sprung out of bed. Dazed, he stumbled about and couldnot find his way. With Mary's help he got his bearings and the nextminute his thunderous "Hello" greeted her ears.

  "Yes."

  "Worse tonight? In what way?"

  An instant's silence. "Mrs. Brownson?" Silence. "Mrs. Brownson!"Silence.

  "Damn that woman! She's rung off."

  "Well, don't swear into the 'phone, John. It's against the rules.Besides, she might hear you."

  The doctor was growling his way to his clothes.

  "I suppose I've got to go down there," was all the answer he made. Whenhe was dressed and the screen had banged behind him after the manner ofscreens, Mary settled herself to sleep which came very soon. But she wassoon routed out of it. She went to the 'phone, expecting to hear aquerulous woman's voice asking, "Has the doctor started yet?" and herlips were framing the old and satisfactory reply, "Yes, he must benearly there now," when a man's voice asked, "Is this Dr. Blank'sresidence?"

  "Yes."

  "Is the doctor there?"

  "No, but he will be back in about twenty minutes."

  "Will you please tell him to come to J. H. Twitchell's?"

  "Yes, I'll send him right down."

  "Thank you."

  She went back to her bed room then, turning, retraced her steps. Thedoctor could come home by way of Twitchell's as their home was not agreat distance from the Brownson's.

  She rang the Brownson's and after a little while a voice answered.

  "Is this Mrs. Brownson?"

  "Yes."

  "May I speak to Dr. Blank. I think he must be there now."

  "He's been here. He's gone home."

  Mary knew by the voice that its owner had not enjoyed getting out ofbed. "I wonder how she would like to be in my place," she thought,smiling. She dared not trust herself to her pillow. She might fallasleep and not waken when her husband came in. She wondered what time itwas. Up there on the wall the clock was ticking serenely away--she hadonly to turn the button beside her to find out. But she did not turn it.In the sweet security of the dark she felt safe. In one brief flash oflight some prowling burglar might discover her.

  She sat down by the open window and looked up into the starlit sky. Theywere out tonight in countless numbers. Over there toward the northwest,lying along the tops of the trees was the Great Dipper. Wasn't it?Surely that particular curve in the handle was not to be found in anyother constellation. She tried to see the Dipper itself but a cherrytree near her window blotted it out. Bend and peer as she might thebranches intervened. It was tantalizing. She rose irresolute. Should shestep out doors where the cherry tree would not be in the way? Not for athousand dippers! She walked to another window. That view shut even thehandle out. She looked for the Pleiades. They were not in the section ofsky visible from the window where she stood. She turned and listened.Did she hear footsteps down the walk? She ought to be hearing herhusband's by this time. He could not be walking at his usual gait. Therehe came! She went to the door looked through the screen and halted himas he drew near the steps.

  "John, you'll have to take another trip. Mr. Twitchell has 'phoned foryou."

  He turned and was soon out of sight. "Now! I can go to bed with a clearconscience," and Mary sought her pillow. But she had better stay awakeuntil he had time to get there lest Mr. Twitchell should 'phone again.In five or ten minutes the danger would be over. She waited. A
t last sheclosed her eyes to sleep. But what would be the use? In twenty minutesmore her husband would come in and rouse her out of it. She had betterjust keep awake till he got back. And the next thing Mary heard was asnore. She opened her eyes to find it was broad daylight and her husbandwas sleeping soundly beside her.