Earth to Hell: Journey to Wudang Bk 1

  I sighed and walked out of the change room. Jade and her three children were waiting for me next to the cushioned seats. The children were in dragon form, chasing each other around the waiting area, but Jade was in human form and wearing a robe similar to mine with willowy elegance.

  I raised my arms. ‘I look completely ridiculous.’ I could see from Jade’s and Mr Li’s faces that they agreed with me.

  Jade grimaced delicately. ‘Perhaps a different colour?’

  Simone came out of her change room. She wore a robe of dark shining indigo silk with twining golden flowers over a gold under robe and closed with a wide elaborately embroidered gold belt. The gold brought out the hues of her tawny hair. Wide silk ribbons of a brighter shade of blue, embroidered with golden chrysanthemums, decorated the neckline either side of her throat and fell as panels down the front of the robe; similar ribbons edged the enormously full sleeves.

  She looked spectacular. She sighed when she saw me. ‘Oh dear, Emma.’

  Mr Li raised one hand and my robe changed to the same dark blue as Simone’s. Jade winced. The robe changed to red and Simone said, ‘Ick.’

  The robe rotated through a variety of colours and patterns.

  ‘Doesn’t work,’ Jade said with resignation.

  ‘Well, that’s the last acceptable style,’ Mr Li said. ‘We have to choose one of them. I think the Qing may have worked slightly better than this but it still made her look fat. She is approaching middle age now, and even though she is fit her figure reflects this. Her breasts are too large—’

  I snorted with derision and opened my mouth to say something about late thirties not being middle-aged, but he continued unfazed.

  ‘Nothing seems to suit her and I don’t have time to adapt a style for her. We should have tried this earlier, I would never have expected this problem.’

  I turned away. ‘Forget it then. I’m wearing my jeans and a shirt and the Jade Emperor can deal with it. Or better yet,’ I turned back and grinned at them, ‘I’ll wear my armour and carry my sword and let him deal with that.’

  Jade and Mr Li both lit up.

  ‘Can she do that?’ Simone said quickly.

  ‘Even more appropriate,’ Jade said. ‘Much more suitable than a Tang robe. Lady Emma is a warrior.’

  Mr Li eyed the bolts of silk on the wall appraisingly. ‘Take that one off. We’ll make a lighter under robe for the armour. It’ll still need to be Tang style, but I think we can get away…’ He wandered off, talking to himself.

  ‘Brilliant, Emma, you’ll look magnificent,’ Simone said.

  ‘I’ll put your hair up in a simple spike, same as the Dark Lord would wear into battle,’ Jade said. ‘Not—’

  ‘Tortoiseshell,’ I finished for her.

  ‘No, ebony, I think,’ she said, and we shared a smile. ‘When the Dark Lord returns, you two will be a matched set. Dark Lord and Dark Lady, both warriors together.’

  I felt a shot of pain and sighed.

  ‘Don’t worry, Emma, he’ll come back,’ Simone said.

  ‘Any sign of him?’ I asked.

  She unfocused, snapped back and shook her head.

  ‘I’ll fetch your armour, ma’am,’ Jade said, then called to the baby dragons, ‘You kids behave.’ She nodded to me. ‘Be right back.’ She disappeared.

  Simone and I sat on the cushioned benches and waited for them to return.

  ‘He visited me in a dream last night,’ I said.

  Simone sighed and put her chin on her hand without replying.

  ‘What’s the matter, Simone?’ I said. ‘You’ve been quiet ever since we found out we were going to see the Jade Emperor.’

  Simone didn’t move or look at me, her chin still in her hand. Her eyes turned inward, remembering. ‘When I was very little, Daddy took me and Mummy to Heaven. He thought I’d enjoy seeing him at “work”. Mummy stayed in our apartment in the Palace, she hated it. Daddy changed…’ She ran her hand over her face. ‘Daddy changed into his Celestial Form, and picked me up and carried me to the Grand Audience Hall. You have no idea what it was like, Emma.’ She turned to gaze into my eyes. ‘You’ve seen it, you know how big his Celestial Form is. He carried me so far from the ground, and I didn’t know him as Daddy. He was so huge! And black, and he didn’t look like Daddy, he was just a giant carrying me so high up that I was afraid, and he walked with these huge strides—it was incredibly scary. I cried, and he did something to me to make me quiet, but I was still…’ She took a deep breath. ‘I was still terrified. Then he took me into the Grand Audience Hall and it was full of dragons and other Shen—animals and nature spirits, all sorts were there to see me, staring at me—and then we went up to the Jade Emperor, and he was in Celestial Form too, and Daddy handed me over to him.’ She smiled wryly. ‘Apparently, the Jade Emperor thought I was adorable. I was bound by Daddy, so I couldn’t move or speak, or cry. I just looked at the Jade Emperor as he held me. He was bigger than Daddy and way scarier.’ She shook her head. ‘It took me a long time to get over that. Even now, I think if I saw Daddy’s Celestial Form, I wouldn’t see it as him, just as this monster that bound me and carried me away.’

  ‘I wondered about that,’ I said. ‘I remember how scared you were of his Celestial Form.’

  ‘When he took me back to the apartment, he unbound me and I let loose,’ Simone said. ‘In seven different directions—I wet myself, threw up, everything. I was only about a year and a half old. I can remember Mummy screaming abuse at him. He changed back and tried to console me, but apparently, I would have nothing to do with him for a few weeks afterwards.’

  ‘I can understand completely,’ I said. ‘If it was me, I would have sent him down to Hell for a few days to “meditate upon his faults”. What a rotten thing to do to a little child.’

  Simone made a soft sound of amusement. ‘Mummy did. Shot him right between the eyes, from what I’ve heard.’

  ‘You are the equal of any Shen in Heaven, Simone. You don’t need to be scared.’

  ‘I just can’t help feeling that way right now. I’ll be fine once we get there and I can see the Jade Emperor’s not a hundred metres tall.’

  ‘Would you like to talk to the Lady about it before we go?’

  She waved me down. ‘I’ll be fine. Oh, Jade’s on her way back with your armour.’

  Jade reappeared and held the armour out for me. ‘Ma’am.’

  I rose to take it.

  On the morning of 16 November, Marcus dropped me and Simone outside Harbour Centre in Wan Chai. Harbour Centre and Great Eagle Centre were two matched towers, that stood side by side right on the waterfront. They each had large neon signs for Japanese electronics companies on the first-floor level and featured in many Hong Kong postcards.

  Simone and I took the escalators up to the first floor to use the walkways across to the China Resources Building, then walked along the covered open-air podium that overlooked the water. The adjacent building, the Convention Centre, jutted into the harbour, its flowing finlike shape making it look like a giant sea creature. I remembered another time I had stood watching the water and felt a twinge of pain. But we had seen him. He was searching for me. He would return.

  We crossed the walkways, passed a small traditional Chinese garden, and took the escalators down to the open area under the China Resources Building. Two bronze Chinese unicorn statues, qilin, faced the road, and behind them stood a fountain of dragon heads squirting water. Behind the fountain was a replica of the Nine-Dragon Wall in the Forbidden City in Beijing.

  Bai Hu stepped out from under one of the supporting pillars. ‘You have all your gear?’

  I raised the shopping bags I was holding. ‘All here.’

  ‘What about your armour, Emma?’

  ‘It’s folded up in there as well.’

  ‘Good. Where’s Gold? I thought he was coming.’

  ‘He said he’s in enough trouble as it is and begged me to leave him at home. Same with Jade.’

  ‘That’s true. It’s pr
obably a good idea to leave them at home. Gold particularly has been in trouble with the Celestial many times before.’ Bai Hu gestured with his head. ‘This way.’

  We followed the Tiger to the wall. Nobody around seemed to notice us. As we neared the wall, the white stone balustrade in front of it slid smoothly into the ground. The wall grew from two metres to nearly four metres tall, and the nine dragons on it came to life. They writhed across the wall and gathered at the middle.

  The gold dragon in the centre stuck its head out and waved its enormous fangs menacingly close to my head. ‘Is this the mortal that wishes to enter the Celestial Domain?’

  Let me handle them, the Tiger said into my head.

  ‘No need,’ I said. I unrolled the scroll and held it in front of the dragon’s face, making it jerk its head back slightly. ‘The Jade Emperor wants to see us.’

  ‘It is highly unusual for a human to be granted an audience with the Celestial One,’ the dragon huffed. ‘You are accompanied by no Retainers. How are we to know that you are worthy of such an honour?’

  ‘Cut the bullshit and let us up,’ the Tiger growled. ‘If I knew you were gonna give us this crap, I would have summoned a cloud.’

  The dragon glared at the Tiger with disdain. ‘Perhaps that would have been preferable. Then our services would not be used by a mortal.’ It spat the word.

  The Tiger grunted and took a couple of steps forward, but I raised my hand to stop him.

  ‘In this situation the mortal usually flatters the dragon’s enormous ego until the dragon is mollified and lets the mortal through,’ I said. I pulled the Murasame, still in its scabbard, from my shopping bag and waved its point in front of the dragon’s nose. ‘I don’t crawl to anybody though, so I might try the alternative tactic of whacking you with my little sword here until you let me up. Would that work?’

  A white dragon on our right sniggered and the gold dragon glared at it. Then it turned back to me and watched me appraisingly.

  ‘If you’re thinking that she doesn’t have the nerve, then I can assure you she does,’ the Tiger growled. ‘She’s even taken my head off a couple of times when she got pissed with me. She seems to like killing Celestials.’

  The dragon lowered its head to look me in the eyes. ‘You have taken the White Tiger’s head?’

  A couple more dragons stuck their heads out of the wall to look at me.

  ‘He can be a complete dick sometimes,’ I said with a shrug.

  The dragon hesitated, then threw its head back and roared with laughter. The other dragons joined it in a chorus of loud, high-pitched hissing.

  ‘Welcome, Lady Emma,’ the gold dragon said when it had regained its breath. ‘Please, walk on the clouds to a destination that you richly deserve.’

  The wall separated in the middle and a stairway of mist appeared in the gap.

  ‘Welcome to Heaven, Lady Emma,’ the gold dragon said. ‘Anyone who takes the Tiger’s head when he’s being an asshole can come on through any time.’

  ‘That would mean the Tiger never having a head at all,’ a purple dragon said, choking with laughter.

  The dragons collapsed into hysterics again, twining around each other with mirth.

  I stepped forward into the gap in the wall and put a hesitant foot onto the misty stair. It appeared to be made of thick swirling fog but was also transparent. I relaxed when I realised that it was solid. I put the sword back in my shopping bag and began to climb.

  As the Tiger came through behind me, the dragons’ heads followed him, still laughing.

  ‘A woman has finally tamed the pussycat, and she is not even his,’ one of them said.

  The Tiger grunted. ‘Let’s just get out of here,’ he said.

  ‘A collar and bell for the pussy!’ another dragon called as we proceeded up the stairs.

  At the top was an enormous gate, at least five storeys high, with massive red doors embellished with huge black metal reinforcing studs. A red wall stretched away on either side of the gate, disappearing into the clouds and seeming to go on forever.

  Kwan Yin stood at the gate waiting for us. She was in human form, but appeared ageless and wore flowing white robes that floated around her. She smiled at us, and Simone ran to her and took her hand in greeting.

  I glanced behind us. The path we stood on also disappeared into the clouds. We appeared to be floating in Heaven.

  ‘Is there anything down there?’ I asked.

  ‘Actually, no,’ Bai Hu said. ‘The Palace sits on a floating island of rock. The only way here is to ride a cloud or use a Nine-Dragon Wall.’

  ‘Where would I go if I fell off?’

  ‘Nobody knows, because nobody ever has.’

  A small door at the bottom of the gates opened. It was only about a metre and a half tall and a metre wide and fitted so neatly into the corner of the gate that it was invisible when closed. Kwan Yin moved beside us and the four of us faced it.

  An elderly man with long grey hair stepped through; the door was so small he had to stoop to fit. He wore a traditional black robe with an official’s hat; a high, square style with long extensions either side.

  ‘Don’t step on the threshold, Emma,’ Bai Hu said. ‘The raised step at the bottom of the door. Careful.’

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘What about the seals? There’s no way I can go through them without being destroyed.’

  ‘This official is to bring them down for you.’

  The official approached, stopped about two metres away, and carefully saluted each of us in order of precedence. ‘Lady Kwan Yin. Lord Bai Hu, Lord of the West. Princess Simone. Lady Emma Donahoe, Promised of the Dark Lord of the Northern Heavens. Welcome.’

  We all saluted back.

  ‘Please, come this way. We are ready for you.’

  As we neared the gate, the official stopped and concentrated. The seals on the bigger gates shimmered into visibility: sheets of paper at least ten metres high with complicated calligraphy and symbolic charms. The paper shredded and dissipated.

  The official sighed. ‘It took me nearly a year to create those seals when I put them on about a thousand years ago. We’ll have to make do with something temporary while I construct some new ones.’

  ‘Good Lord, I’m putting the Celestial Palace at risk?’ I said, horrified.

  The official smiled over his shoulder at me. ‘No, ma’am. The seals don’t really do anything, they’re just there for show.’

  ‘What is your honoured name, sir?’ I asked.

  ‘Just call me Mr Wong, Lady Emma.’

  The massive gates opened inward smoothly and silently, revealing the Celestial Palace within.

  The Palace was constructed of stone adorned with brilliant cobalt blue tiles. Traditional gold tiles covered the roofs with their upward-curving edges. At each corner of each roof was a glazed ceramic image of a man riding a chicken, with other animals lined up along the edge of the roof behind him and a dragon bringing up the rear.

  The Palace was built up the side of a gently rising hill with a magnificent hall at the top, at least a kilometre away. A network of identical pavilions and walkways worked up towards it in perfect geometric arrangement, mirrored on each side. The gold-tiled roofs sparkled in the sunshine beneath the brilliantly azure sky. Green treetops jutted between the walls.

  A huge grey stone-paved courtyard, at least two hundred metres to a side, lay between the gate and the base of the hill. Bonsai trees, each about a metre high, were scattered about the courtyard, some of them bearing large peaches, apricots and cumquats; flower pots containing massive chrysanthemums in brilliant colours also broke the monotony of the paving. Larger potted trees, some of them up to five metres tall, flanked the courtyard, also bearing peaches. A wide stream flowed across the courtyard, its surface level with the paving. It was spanned by three arched bridges, and small blue dragons swam within the crystalline water. Brilliant phoenixes with plumage of many colours wandered around the courtyard, like ornamental peacocks. The view resonated w
ith me, then I realised it was similar to the courtyard at the front of the Forbidden City in Beijing.

  The official led us into the courtyard. ‘The first hall is the Hall of Welcome Contentment. There you will prepare to see the Celestial.’

  He raised his head and spoke loudly and clearly, ‘Hall of Welcome Contentment,’ then took a step forward and disappeared.

  ‘Do the same, Emma: just say the name of the hall and take a step forward,’ Kwan Yin said.

  ‘Hall of Welcome Contentment,’ I said, stepped forward, and was instantly at the entrance to the hall. Mr Wong stood there waiting. Kwan Yin, Bai Hu and Simone appeared next to me.

  ‘Way cool,’ Simone whispered. ‘I wish we had this at school. Those stairs are a killer.’

  Mr Wong raised one arm. ‘Please, enter.’

  The hall had large red pillars and its ceiling was covered with elaborately decorated tiles. It was empty except for a pair of rosewood stands, as tall as a man, holding incense braziers.

  Mr Wong gestured to the left. ‘This way, everybody. There is a preparation room where you can ready yourselves.’

  We walked to the end of the hall, where a simple doorway led to a set of apartments with modern furniture. Priceless silk rugs covered the polished hardwood floor. A comfortable set of tan leather couches sat to one side, and an oval rosewood dining table inlaid with mother-of-pearl to the other.

  There were doors at each end of the room and another door, paned with glass, that opened to the courtyard beyond. Ming-style rosewood shelves displayed a collection of antique vases.

  Bai Hu had a quick, whispered discussion with Mr Wong. The discussion became heated, although still whispered. Bai Hu raised his voice and glanced at me, then lowered it again. Mr Wong shut the discussion off and stormed out.

  Bai Hu thundered over to us, his face raw with fury. ‘I do not believe this!’