Worth Forgiving

  2 hrs later

  Message from Ape on my vm. Not sure how he even got my #. Sounds angry. Did he catch the pic?

  10 minutes later.

  Ape flying home today. Apeshit for sure.

  5 hours later.

  Ape called me five times today. He’s lost it. He saw the pic.

  10 minutes later

  Where are you? Why aren’t you answering? Call me.

  1 hour ago

  Just saw your bath on TV. Uh oh.

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  I hit Reed’s number and try to whisper, but I’m panicked.

  “Seriously? I’ve been trying to reach you for almost two days. I’m on my way to you now. You wait till I get three blocks away and call me? You better be calling to tell me you’re dead.” Reed rattles off before I’ve even had the chance to say hello.

  “I’m sorry. I turned my phone off. I was with Jax.”

  “So you haven’t spoken to Caden?”

  “No.”

  “Have you seen the picture?”

  “I’m not even certain what you’re talking about, what picture?”

  “You. And Jax. In a fountain. Is that Bethesda, by the way? That thing is filthy. You probably have Legionnaires’ disease.”

  “A picture of us in the fountain?” I turn to Jax, his eyes are open now, my conversation has definitely caught his attention. He squints, silently asking me what I’m talking about.

  “You look like Natalie Portman in that bad swan movie.”

  “Black Swan. And it’s a Natalie Portman in a Dior perfume commercial where they’re in the fountain, not from the movie.” I have no idea why I feel the need to correct him.

  “Whatever. Mr. Dior will be knocking on your door any minute. You two look hot together. It’s a still, but I mentally got the visual of you slip sliding all the way down his muscular body. Lucky girl.”

  “Reed.” I sit up. “Who took the photo?”

  “How would I know? A paparazzi I guess.”

  “What are we doing in the fountain?”

  “Jax has you lifted up into the air and water is pouring over your head from the top of the fountain. You’re looking down and he’s looking up. Your faces are maybe a few inches from each other’s…but you’re both smiling and laughing.”

  “Shit.”

  “It could be worse.”

  “How exactly could that be?”

  “You could look bad. You look beautiful. It’s a great shot.”

  “Wonderful.”

  “Someone is grumpy. Your knight in shining armor keeping you up all night? Did you see what I did there? The pun was intended.”

  “Reed!” I scold. He’s gotten so far off track of where I need this conversation to be.

  “Oh my god, he so did! I’m two blocks away. Tell me details until I get there.”

  “Reed!”

  “What? Jesus you’re cranky.”

  “What did Caden say?”

  “Oh. That.” He sounds deflated. “He’s sort of freaking out. He saw the picture on the news.”

  “Do you know when he’s coming back?”

  “Tonight.”

  I close my eyes. Caden is going to be a disaster. He gets jealous when a guy I don’t know looks at me the wrong way. I don’t even want to think about what he will be like seeing my picture in the paper in another man’s arms.

  “Okay. I have to go. Have to be at work at two.”

  “I’m going to be there in five minutes.”

  “You can’t.”

  “Why not?” Reed sounds blatantly insulted.

  “Because.” I pause. “I need to talk to Jax.”

  “We can go see him together. You can fill me in on the way.”

  “Jax is here. I’ll call you later, okay?”

  Reed screeches so loudly, I pull the phone away from my ear. Jax smirks and shakes his head…right before he takes my phone out of my hand. I listen to one side of the conversation.

  “Reed?” Jax pauses and listens before responding, “Do you know when he lands?”

  “Yeah. I don’t trust him either. I’m not letting her out of my sight.”

  “Okay. Later.”

  He pushes a button and hands me back my phone. “Looks like we get to have that conversation with Caden sooner, rather than later.”

  “Jax. You don’t know him. He’s not always logical.”

  Jax shrugs. “That’s why I’m not letting you out of my sight till we have a chat with him.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t know it was you in the picture.” I’m grasping at straws.

  “So? I’ll tell him.”

  My eyes bulge. “Why would you do that?”

  Jax stands, slipping on his sweat pants calmly as he speaks. “Because I’m not going to run away from it. This isn’t a one night thing for me, Lily.”

  “He’s going to freak, Jax.”

  Jax leans down, his face in mine, “Don’t worry about it.” It’s more of a stern warning than a suggestion. Then he kisses me chastely on the lips. “I’ll put the coffee on. Freak out for five minutes if you want. Then meet me in the shower.”

  Jax heads for the kitchen and I do exactly what he said. Sit, freaking out for five minutes until he returns with a steaming mug of coffee for each of us. “You done now?”

  I sip my coffee. It’s exactly how I take it. Briefly, it makes me feel better. “Done what?”

  “Freaking out.”

  “Not really?” I respond with a question, not a statement.

  He takes another big gulp of his coffee and sets the mug down on the end table. “Take another sip,” he instructs, before swiping my mug from my hands and setting it besides his. Then he scoops me up into his arms, the sheet covering me falls to reveal my naked body.

  “What are you doing?” I ask, not really caring what he’s about to do now that I’m in the warmth of his arms.

  “Taking a shower.”

  ***

  The press outside the gym quadrupled overnight, Jax wraps his arm around me and does his best to shelter me from the clicking cameras. I have no idea what time Caden will show up at the gym, but I’m glad he’s not there when we enter.

  I go behind the front desk and get myself settled in. Jax stands watching me fidget nervously. “You going to be okay?”

  “Yes,” I lie, trying my best to avert my eyes by grabbing a pile of waiting mail. But Jax just waits. Calmly. Patiently. Standing there looking completely undaunted by the fact that all hell is soon going to break loose, he waits till my eyes reach his and I still as he speaks.

  “It’s going to be fine. He won’t get the chance to raise his voice, no less lay a finger on you. I promise. Trust me.” He pauses, his eyes probing mine. “Let me take care of it. Okay?”

  Incredibly, I believe him. Somehow, I just know everything will turn out okay, so long as he’s near me. I smile. It’s weak, but genuine, and it earns me a dimpled grin back from Jax. Jesus, even worried and exhausted from two days of life altering sexcapades with this man doesn’t quell my desire when he turns on the charm.

  “Go!” I point in the direction of the gym, giving him an order. “You’re incredibly distracting. Don’t you have someone to beat up or some tycooning to do?”

  Jax’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but he chuckles and walks off shaking his head in amusement.

  The afternoon flies by, without both Joe and I here for a day and a half, it takes me hours to get caught up with mail, telephone calls and getting next week’s schedules put together. Every once in a while I’d look up, my eyes scanning the room to find Jax. Each and every time, he was already looking back at me by the time my eyes found his. I think Jax may have been on a higher level of alert than I even was. I’d noticed he’d positioned himself for his afternoon workout and sparring so that he can keep an eye on me. It was sweet, so very different from the way Caden kept his eye on me. Caden’s never felt protective or warm, instead it was possessive, territorial. And not the sexy kind of possessive I see a s
liver of in Jax. His possessiveness is about me. Caden’s is about him.

  By 8PM, an hour before closing, my nerves have gotten the best of me and I almost jump out of my skin every time the door opens. The rattle of the bells somehow training me like Pavlov to hold my breath as I wait for the person to walk through. I try to sketch, but creativity doesn’t mix well with restlessness and anxiety.

  Jax comes to the front desk. He’s set up a makeshift office in the corner of the small kitchen and I’ve caught him on more than one occasion raking his fingers through his hair looking stressed himself.

  “You okay? You look stressed.” It’s my turn to check on him.

  “Yeah. Just some work fires I needed to put out.”

  “Mmmm…” I tease, “I like firemen.”

  Jax leans his elbows on the counter, lowering his frame down so our faces are level. “Better than tycoons?” he questions with a flirty challenge in his voice.

  I’m just about to respond when the bells interrupt, bringing me back to the impending doom I’m facing. Jax seems completely unaffected and doesn’t budge at the sound of the door opening. I let out a sigh of relief when I see it’s only a late night regular. He waves and goes right to the gym.

  “You really are afraid of him, aren’t you?” Jax wonders aloud.

  “I honestly don’t really think he would ever hurt me. Not physically anyway. But there’s a side of him that scares me a bit. I didn’t see it at first…that’s a whole other conversation. Someday, maybe. But there’s something that lurks just beneath the surface that I’m afraid to see escape.”

  Jax brushes his knuckles softly along the side of my cheek. My eyes close at the contact. God I even love the simplest of touches. Each one just says so much with him.

  “I’m not sure I could handle listening to too much about you and Caden when you were together. Even though I’m glad he was there for you when you needed someone, I wish it would have been me.” Gently, he pushes the hair that has fallen on my face back behind my ear. “I want to be there to catch you if you fall from now on, Angel.”

  Yet another check mark gets ticked off the chart listing the elements of the perfect man. Perceptive. Doesn’t just listen to my words, but listens to what I’m not saying. I’ve only known one other man like that and he had my heart and soul. My dad. My heart swells at both the memory of the man I loved and finding a piece of him in Jax.

  When I don’t respond right away, Jax gently lifts my chin, bringing my eyes back to meet his. Mine are filled with unshed tears. “Okay?” he says the word in a soft, soothing voice. I nod, swallowing hard, fighting back the thought of my dad being gone. Gently, Jax leans in and kisses my forehead.

  “I’m going to lock the door and run up to get my stuff. Don’t think it’s a good idea to put Joe in a position to keep his nephew away from burning it all.” He forces a smile. “Don’t open the door unless it’s a customer you know. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “You close up at 9, right?”

  “Yes.”

  Jax checks his watch. “It’s almost 8:45. I’ll grab my bag and be back down in a few.”

  Chapter 16

  Jax

  Anger boils in the pit of my stomach as I pack up my bag. What kind of a man makes a woman afraid of him? Lily may have said she wasn’t physically afraid of him…but her body language over the last few hours tells me something different. She jumps every time the door opens, the anticipation of Caden’s reaction, and his ensuing wrath, leaves her nerves frayed. He may not have touched her, but emotional manipulation…instilling the fear of what could happen, is just as bad. Reminds me of someone I know. Scare tactics and threats to get what he wants. Some men just aren’t men.

  I slip the last of my belongings into the duffle bag and sling it over my shoulder. The moment I open the door, I hear it. His voice. I can’t make out the words at first, but I can tell from the tone that whatever he’s yelling is vile. Pure venom drips from every angry syllable. I dart down the stairs two at a time, the blood coursing through my veins as fast as the pace of my rapid steps.

  I see red when I catch sight of him. Caden has Lily pinned up against the wall, his forearm pressed against her neck, forcing her chin up. His face is in hers, wild and angry, his nostrils flare and spit heaves from his mouth as he screams right in her face.

  “You’re a fucking whore! I should have known you’d open your legs for anyone that came along when I turned my back.”

  Too busy threatening a woman a quarter of his size to hear my approach, he doesn’t expect it when I grab him from behind. Wrapping one arm tightly around his neck, I use my other arm to pull back more, applying even more pressure.

  “How do you like it?” I hiss between gritted teeth. “Does it feel good?” I yank even harder, falling short of crushing his windpipe, but definitely constricting his air passage.

  “Does it make your feel powerful to hurt a woman?” I turn to Lily. She’s slid down the wall, her hands clenching at her throat, tears streaming down her face. “You okay?”

  She nods.

  “You sure? Let me hear your voice, Lily.”

  “I’m okay,” she whispers, coughing between words.

  “You want to hurt someone, come at me. Keep the fuck away from Lily. Keep. The. Fuck. Away. Do you hear me?”

  I gotta hand it to the stupid bastard, he’s stubborn. I’m about thirty seconds away from choking him out, and just the tiniest bit more pressure and he’d be drinking through a straw for the rest of his life, yet he just glares, trying his best to make eye contact with me. This guy’s not backing down. Not even close.

  “Don’t,” Lily says as she attempts to stand. “It’s not worth it, Jax.” She walks around the counter and pulls something from a drawer. It’s a taser of some sort. She walks closer to us, standing at our side. Caden’s eyes track her every move, fixated on nothing else. He’s so wired, I’m not so sure a taser would even bring him down.

  “Go behind me Lily,” I instruct. But before she can move, the bells chime as the front door opens and in walks Joe Ralley.

  “God damn it! I warned you, Caden.” Joe walks toward us, not looking shocked at the scene going on in front of his eyes. Obviously he knows how unstable his nephew is.

  He looks to the front door, sees the dangling handle, the result of Caden busting open the lock, and shakes his head. “Now what am I supposed to do here boys?” Calmly, Joe asks, as he walks around the counter, reaches down and comes up with a wooden bat. What the hell else do they have behind there?

  “Loosen your grip for me, Jackson,” Joe asks. Eyeing him, I don’t respond right away. “I didn’t say you had to let go. Just give him enough room to breathe so we can all have a little conversation, okay?”

  I look around, considering my options. “Okay. But Lily leaves before I let go of him. I want her safe. I don’t trust this asshole one bit.”

  Joe assesses me, realizes quickly it’s not a suggestion or a chip I’m willing to bargain, and nods. “Lily, I think that’s a good idea. Why don’t you go home? Might help defuse the situation we got going on with these two boys.” He nods his head in our direction.

  Lily looks to me and shakes her head no.

  “Go home, Lily. I’ll be fine. I’ll come to your place as soon as we’re done here.” Wrong thing to say. My words, or perhaps it’s the visual picture of me going to Lily’s that does it, but Caden’s already steamy temper flares, and he almost gets out of my choke hold. I’m back to barely letting him breathe just to keep him from escaping. “Go, Lily!” I bark.

  Thankfully, and surprisingly, she listens. Handing Joe Ralley the taser, she walks to the door and looks back.

  “I’ll cover tomorrow. Stay home. Get some rest. Come in on Saturday, if you feel up to it.” He looks to Caden and then back to Lily. “They say blood is thicker than water, but that’s bullshit. Me and The Saint, me and you – we’re family. You take care of yourself, and I’m sorry this happened, Lily.”

  Sh
e nods and I watch the tears flow as she reluctantly walks out the door.

  Joe closes the door, and turns back to where I’m still restraining Caden in a choke hold from behind. He says nothing for a long moment, assessing how to handle the situation. I’ve been working with Joe for months now. He seems like a levelheaded guy and it’s clear he adores Lily. Smart, fair…I’d even consider him a friend. But I’m not taking any chances. This situation can turn on me in the blink of an eye.

  Finally, Joe speaks. “I only know what my nephew has told me, but I saw the picture on the news too. Lily stepping out on Caden with you, son?”

  “Lily and Caden broke up two months ago. Lily’s not stepping out on anyone. Caden here just doesn’t seem to know how to take a hint.” Caden attempts to struggle at my words, but I’m ready and a little pressure reminds him who’s really in control. He stills, but his nostrils flare and dark eyes go black and stormy. The truth is hard to hear sometimes, especially when you don’t like what’s being said.

  Joe takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes, shaking his head. He’s surprised to hear what I have to say, but I can tell he believes me. This definitely isn’t the first time he’s seen the crazy in his nephew.

  “Caden, this score you’ve come to settle, isn’t yours to settle, son. Seems like Lily’s made a choice and Jax hasn’t shown you any disrespect. This vendetta you’re chasing… Doesn’t exist.” Joe emphasizes the last two words, something in the way he says them, like a parent stressing a point to a small child, tells me he’s experienced at handling Caden’s one track mind. A mind stuck on a track that leads to nowhere, yet he’s physically unable to change course.

  “Now.” Joe continues. “What we’re going to do here is…Jax is going to let go of you. And you’re going to stand there and not move a muscle as he collects his things and walks out that door.” He tilts his head back, motioning to the door behind him. “You boys want to continue this, we’ll set it up. In the ring. The way we fight around here. Clean. You got that?”

  Caden doesn’t move or respond, not that I’m leaving him much room to wiggle in my hold.

  “Caden!” Joe warns. “I want to hear you understand what I’m saying. Jax let’s go, there will be no fighting in here tonight. You clear with that? Because I’m starting to lose patience. Getting off a plane and chasing your ass here isn’t exactly what my nearly sixty year old ass should be doing. So no more shit tonight, tell me you understand what I’m saying. Or, so help me God, I’m dialing 911 and they’re taking you out in cuffs for assaulting Lily.”