Worth Forgiving

  Caden’s jaw clenches but he blinks his eyes in agreement.

  “Jackson?” Joe questions. “We good?”

  I’ll probably regret it, but I nod in agreement anyway. Joe nods back. Cautiously, I loosen my hold, but only enough to test the waters…see if Caden tries to turn on me. He doesn’t move, so I take the next step, removing my arm wrapped around his neck altogether. He still doesn’t move. Grabbing my bag, I head to the door and begin to open it, but I stop and look back, both Caden and Joe in my sight. Caden hasn’t moved a muscle, almost makes me think he knows he won’t be able to control himself if he does. “I’ll take you up on that offer to settle it in the ring, Joe.” Joe nods and I turn my attention to Caden. A heinous smile curls up on his lips. If I didn’t want to kick his ass so badly for putting his hands on Lily, I might be a bit more concerned how psychotic he really looks. Like a psychopath ready to tear off limbs and gnaw on them for lunch.

  ***

  Lily must have been standing at the door waiting. She flings it open before I even finish knocking, throwing her arms around my neck in the hallway. Her quiet cries cause me physical pain.

  “Shhhh…everything’s fine.” I pick her up and carry her inside.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers between deep breaths as she tries to reign in her tears.

  I pull my neck back to look at her. “You think this is your fault?”

  “Yes. I knew how Caden would react if I got involved with someone too soon, but I did it anyway.”

  “Lily…,” I pause, putting a finger under her chin, bringing her eyes back to mine. “This isn’t your fault. Not one bit. Caden doesn’t own you. I know you two have history, but that’s what it is. History. He has no right to raise his hand to you, even if you were still together. There is no justification for what he did.”

  Sniffling, she averts her eyes for a moment. It breaks my heart to see her so upset. Internally, my brain is battling against my emotions, I’m so filled with anger, yet I want to make Lily feel calm. Safe.

  “Are you hurt at all?” she asks.

  “No.”

  She tries to force a smile but fails. “He’s not going to let it go this easily.”

  Seeing the warped smile on his face before I walked out of the gym, I couldn’t agree more, but I need to calm her, not make her more upset. So I try to make her feel better. “We reached an understanding,” I reply cryptically.

  Lily furrows her brow, her sweet face a mixture of fear and confusion. “What…”

  I lean down and kiss her lips gently, silencing her before she can finish her sentence. “Tomorrow. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow. He’s consumed enough of our day.” I begin walking toward the bedroom with her still cradled in my arms. She rests her head against my chest. “You need to get some rest.”

  I don’t see the full extent of the bruising on her neck until she’s lying on the bed. It takes every ounce of self-control to not leave and hunt that motherfucker down and beat him until his entire body is covered with matching bruise marks. But right now, Lily needs me. My retaliation will have to wait. Instead, I grab an ice pack, slip into bed next to her, and lift her on top of me, placing her on my chest. I wrap my arms around her tightly, protectively, making sure she knows nothing is going to happen to her. My own adrenaline still pumping ferociously through my veins, sleep evades me. But I tenderly stroke Lily’s hair until I hear her ragged breathing turn peaceful, knowing she’s fallen asleep. And even then I keep holding her, stroking her hair, willing her to feel safe in my arms as she sleeps so she can rest.

  Chapter 17

  Lily

  The warmth of the late summer sun peers in through the blinds, the brightness blinding me as my eyes flutter open, then squint, catching a ray of the early morning sunlight.

  “Morning, Angel.” Jax’s throaty voice makes me smile.

  “Good morning.”

  I wake in the same position I fell asleep in, on top of Jax, which is unusual as I usually toss and turn.

  “How you feeling?

  “Okay. You?”

  “I’m fine. Is your neck sore?”

  Without thinking, I reach up and touch it. It’s sore to the touch. “It’s a little tender I guess.” Jax’s grip tightens around me.

  Gently, he lifts me and rests me on my back. Propped up on one elbow, he leans over me. “It’s going to be that way for a while, you’re pretty bruised.”

  “I am?” Guess I hadn’t looked in the mirror last night. Mirror. That reminds me, I must be a complete mess. Makeup streaks likely trailed down my face from all my crying.

  Jax leans down and kisses my neck, ever so gently. “That hurt?” he questions with his lips still at my neck. I feel the warmth of his breath and it sends a shiver down my spine.

  “No,” I whisper, hoping he’ll continue.

  He kisses me again, a tiny bit to the left. “How about that?”

  “Nope.” A smile cracks through my voice.

  He moves a little more to the left, dropping two more tender kisses. “And that?”

  “No.”

  Jax continues kissing along the area that Caden injured with his menacing forearm, not neglecting any of my bruised skin. As he trails soft kisses in a line, I feel his erection growing against my leg. Never a morning person before, a little attention from this man and years of dedication to not smile before 9AM goes out the window.

  Pulling his head back to check on me, Jax looks me in the eyes. “You sure you’re okay?” He’s serious.

  “I would be…” I pause, a serious face firmly set before I grin mischievously, “…if you would keep doing what you were doing.”

  Jax’s eyebrows lift with surprise, his mesmerizing sky blue eyes heating dark with desire. He drops his head back to my neck and kisses again, this time adding a flicker of his tongue. “You mean this?”

  I nod, even though he doesn’t raise his head to see my response.

  A few more kisses and he makes his way to my ear. He nibbles on my tiny lobe, tugging at it with his teeth for a second before releasing it. “How about this. Is this good?” he whispers in my ear. The sound of his strained voice is completely erotic and it makes my body perk up with desire.

  I nod again. This time, it’s because I’m unable to form words. His kisses growing more intense and his hot breath in my ear, I feel heat swelling between my legs.

  His hand drops down and he pushes the covers away so he can see my body. With need in his eyes, he teases his fingers around my breasts, circling around my taut nipples, but falling short of grazing them. Leaning into my ear, he whispers in a strained voice, “The first night I met you, I stroked my cock picturing it was you as I rubbed up and down.”

  Oh god. My body already aroused, it begins to thrum. I groan as he circles closer to my engorged nipple. “I thought about how it would feel to be inside you. Your legs spread wide as I filled you.” His hand trails lower down my body, stopping as he reaches just beneath my bellybutton. “Spread your legs, Lily.”

  Parting my legs, I hope my obeying will get him to give me something. Anything. I need more than just his sweet kisses on my neck and a teasing bite on my ear. Need. Not want.

  “More. I want you wide open for me.”

  Complying, I spread my legs across the width of the bed, feet dangling off the edge of my queen size mattress.

  Satisfied with my response to his demand, he trails his hand lower, stopping to rub my clit before he pushes two fingers into me. His fingers instantly slick, he easily burrows deep inside of me, finding a rhythm as he slips in and out. I moan into his touch.

  “God, you’re beautiful. I love being inside of you. Watching you wiggle as I pump my fingers into that perfect little pussy of yours. There are so many things I want to do to you right now.” Increasing the speed of his fingers, my body begins its pursuit of its release, teetering on the edge. I grind up, forcing his fingers even deeper.

  I’m so close, just needing a little more to send me over the edge. It d
oesn’t even have to be more penetration. His dirty words are enough to bring me what I need. “Tell me,” I beg shamelessly, “what else do you want to do to me.”

  “I want to taste you. Curl my tongue deep inside of you and feel you come around my mouth as I drink every bit of what you give me. I want to plunge my cock into you and fuck you long and hard. And then, I want to fill your pussy. Make you feel every bit of my hot come as it pours into you.”

  I moan loudly as his strokes quicken, his thumb reaching up to find my clit as his fingers pump furiously into me. His words consuming my head, his body controlling mine, I give myself over to my orgasm, feeling completely and utterly possessed by this man.

  Spent, but feeling the need to reciprocate…wanting to bring pleasure to Jax as he had just done for me, I reach for him, feeling him still hard pushed up against me.

  He grabs my hand before I can touch him. “Not yet.” Pulling it up, he tenderly kisses my hand. Catching my eyes in his sea of blue, he acknowledges, “It’s not that I don’t want your hand on me. But we need to talk first.”

  Chapter 18

  Jax

  I didn’t intentionally start the morning off the way it turned out, but I may as well use it to my advantage. I know Lily isn’t going to be happy when I tell her that my fight with Caden from last night wasn’t finished, it was merely postponed. We both plan on getting our vengeance out in the ring. A sated Lily would put up less of an argument.

  “We need to talk about last night.”

  Lily’s happy, freshly finger fucked face falters, yet another reason for needing to beat the shit out of that asshole. Taking away the afterglow of her orgasm, this had better be the last time Caden Ralley makes his way into the bedroom when I’m with her.

  “What about last night?” Lily sits up, her relaxed demeanor instantly growing tense.

  “We worked some things out I should tell you about.”

  “Worked things out? How?” Brows drawn, her face is an open book for me to read. Confusion mixed with a whole lot of concern.

  “Caden and I are going to settle our differences in the ring.” It sounded much better in my head than spoken aloud.

  Lily’s eyes go wide as saucers. “What? I hope you’re joking.”

  I hit her with a serious stare, but say nothing.

  “You’re not joking.”

  “No. And I’m looking forward to it too. He deserves to get his ass kicked for putting his hands on you.”

  “That’s insane!” she screeches.

  “Look at you, Angel. Your neck is purple. God knows what he would have done to you had I not been there.”

  “Violence isn’t the answer to violence.” For the daughter of a champion fighter and co-owner of a chain of gyms, I’d think she would be better versed that although it may not be the answer, it goes a hell of a long way in settling a war.

  “Maybe not. But it’s what is going to happen.” I shrug. “It was either that, or go at it last night without a referee and people to stop us from killing each other.”

  “I don’t want to be the cause of you getting hurt.”

  “And what makes you think I’m the one that will get hurt?” I bite back, offended that she doesn’t think I can take the asshole. He picks on women for a reason. Can’t take a fair fight with a man.

  “I didn’t mean it like that. He’s just, he’s just…not right. The last few months, I’ve seen a side of him that scares me. I don’t want you to get in the ring with him. I’d never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you.”

  “I’ll be fine. I’ve watched the guy fight. I’m going to enjoy kicking his ass. And he deserves every minute of it.”

  “But…”

  “I’m not changing my mind, Lily,” I warn, my tone a bit more dismissive than she’s ever heard from me.

  Looking into my eyes, she sees I’m serious.

  “You’re doing exactly what Caden did to me. Not listening to what I’m saying.”

  “Don’t compare me to him.” My response is clipped.

  “But you’re not listening to me.”

  “I’m listening to you. I just don’t agree with you. I’ll listen to any reasoning you have. Tell me, why shouldn’t I get in the ring with Caden? You’ve grown up around fighting. Obviously you aren’t adverse to a good, clean, fair fight.”

  “Because I don’t want to be the cause of the fight.”

  “He’s the cause, Lily. I’m not a nonsensical caveman. We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if he didn’t put his hands on you. Would I like looking at him, knowing he’s your past? No. But I wouldn’t start a fight.”

  “And I don’t want you to get hurt,” she adds.

  “I won’t.”

  “You really are impossible sometimes!” She wraps the sheet around her body and closes herself into the bathroom without a word.

  ***

  I have no idea what the hell she did in there for an hour. I’d heard the shower go on a few minutes after she went in, but when she finally comes out, her spirit seems lifted. A little bit anyway.

  She rests her arms on the kitchen counter, opposite me, as I finish off the breakfast I’m making for us. “It smells good. But what is it?” She says then reaches over and tries to put her finger into the pan. I whack her with the spatula and arch my eyebrow playfully when she looks up at me.

  “It’s Nutella French toast.” I flip the two golden slices of bread stuck together with a heaping pile of hazelnut chocolate like a pro, catching it in the center of the pan.

  Lily shakes her head, trying to hold back a smile. “Showoff.”

  “Always,” I retort, plating the sandwich and sliding it over to her on the other side of the counter.

  “What do you have planned for the day?” I ask, preparing my own plate. She hops off the stool she’s leaning on and walks to the table. I must have been looking down when she came in, because I definitely wouldn’t have missed her ass cheeks peeking out from behind the short nightshirt she has on. My pulse quickens and I harden just watching the curve of her ass as she steps.

  “Nice shirt,” I compliment her wardrobe choice as viewed from behind.

  “Thanks. I thought you’d like it.”

  “I do. And thank you for being so considerate. Consider it one of my personal favorites whenever I’m here.”

  Lily giggles and the sound does something to me. Wakes something in me I didn’t realize was sleeping. She reaches over to my plate and breaks off a piece of my toast creation. Warm, dark chocolate oozes from between the slices. “I don’t have any plans. I’m usually at work,” she tells me and I see her face fall a little. Until she gets a taste of the Nutella toast. Her eyes light up like I’ve just given her a new Mercedes. “Oh my god. This is soooo good.” Chocolate smudges at the corner of her lip. I reach forward and wipe it off, bringing my finger to my mouth.

  “You’re right. It is good.” I suck the chocolate from my finger.

  In what has become our usual eating pattern we both demolish everything on the plate. The plate in front of the other, that is. “Do you want to get out? Do something? It looks nice out today.”

  Lily shakes her head no. She blushes a little so I know what she’s thinking.

  “Did you have something else in mind, Lily?”

  She nods her head yes, but still doesn’t say anything. Rising from her seat, she takes both of our plates and drops them into the sink before returning. But instead of going back to her own chair, she lifts her leg up and over me, straddling my thighs, landing in the perfect place on my lap. The thin fabric of her panties does little to hide the heat radiating between her legs.

  I run my hands up and down the outside of her thighs. The feel of her smooth, creamy skin only adds fuel to the growing inferno in my pants. I’m rock hard. Lifting her at the waist, I adjust her position only slightly, but it allows the wide crown of my cock to push up directly against her clit. Her eyes dilate and become hooded.

  “So what did you have in mind t
o do today?”

  She bites her lower lip. Dirty talk doesn’t come easy to her, but she definitely loves to hear it from my mouth. This time I want to hear it from hers. I run my hands up her back, stopping when I reach her long wavy hair and wrap it around my hands loosely. I tug lightly, but enough so she feels it. “Tell me, Lily. Tell me what you want,” I urge.

  “You.”

  “And how do you want me?”

  “I…I…”she hesitates briefly. Then she reaches down somewhere deep and surprises me, “I want to ride your cock.”

  That a girl. The only thing better than hearing those words from her lips is her actually doing it. In one swift motion, I lift her and pull my sweat pants down enough to accommodate her request, freeing my rock hard erection. I sit her back down, my cock pushing up against her, but I don’t put myself inside of her. I want her to do it. However she wants it.

  She looks down and licks her lips. I nearly explode just watching her mouth. I love that she salivates at the sight of me. It makes me want to beat my chest and yell from a fucking rooftop somewhere.

  “Go ahead. I’m all yours,” I offer as I stroke my cock. It’s already hard as stone, so it’s hardly necessary. But something tells me she might like to see me touch myself as much as I’d like to see her. She looks down and gasps. Without hesitation, she wraps her hand around mine and together we stroke up and down a few times. Then she lifts up, allowing enough room to position my broad head at her opening. She circles her hips around a few times, coating my head in her slickness. It feels incredible, all I want to do is ram inside of her. But it’s her turn now and I’m not going to rush it. We’d had the talk the other night and I knew she was on the pill. Recent checkups and mutual trust cleared the path for future barrier free encounters, but I’d left it up to her to decide if she was ready. It’s a gift that she’s decided to give. And it means more than just the physical pleasure it brings. There’s a trust and it means a lot that she’s giving it to me now.