Hard to Forget

  “Right, sorry.”

  I eat the rest of my muffin quietly, then I sit and read quietly while Jax works. When lunchtime rolls around, he lifts his head and looks over to me. “You wanna do something productive?”

  “Isn’t watching you, making sure you don’t die, productive?”

  His eyes twinkle with amusement, but he shakes his head. “I can practically hear your brain screaming from here. You’re not used to sitting down doing nothing, are you?”

  “The voices in my head keep me company.”

  He laughs, and it’s a rich, gorgeous sound. “Right, kitten. Whatever you say.”

  He goes back to his work and I can’t help it, I have to know what he was going to offer me. “Do you want me to help you somehow?”

  He looks up again. “I have a shit load of data I need entered into the computer, but I don’t have time to do it. If you know how to use a laptop, then yeah, help.”

  I stand and walk over. “You don’t have a personal assistant?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m not the easiest man to work with.”

  “No,” I gasp, pressing a hand to my chest. “I never guessed.”

  He narrows his eyes at me, and I flash him a happy smile. He spends the next hour showing me how to enter all his data, and it’s easy enough. It’s just laborious and draining, so I can understand why he doesn’t have time to do it. I sit across from him, entering away, passing time in a more dealable way.

  We stop at around two and I order up some sandwiches. They arrive half an hour later, and we both sit at the desk, eating. Jax answers a lot of calls, and he also receives a shit load of e-mails. He’s a busy man. He stops only to eat or use the bathroom. Right now he’s got his mouth full, so he’s actually stopped for a second.

  “So,” I say, swallowing a bite of my roast beef and mustard sandwich. “You and Tori?”

  He flinches and shoots me a glare. “None of your fucking business.”

  Sensitive subject?

  “Don’t bite my head off, but I did walk out to you two getting it on.”

  “We weren’t getting it on,” he snaps.

  “Okay, handsome, whatever you say.”

  I go back to eating and he sighs loudly.

  “She’s in love with me. She has been for a long time.”

  I look up and meet his eyes. “You feel the same?”

  He shrugs. “I care about her, more than any girl in my life, but she’s my best friend. I grew up with her and Red. They’re the only family I have. I’ve seen how that shit goes south when you take it to the next level.”

  “If you love her, there’s a good chance it won’t go south,” I point out.

  He shrugs. “Don’t know if I love her, and I wanna stop talking about this now, yeah?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He shakes his head on a sigh. “What about you, Delaney? Who is rubbing you up the right way each night?”

  “Crude,” I mutter. “And no one. I don’t have time to date.”

  His brows go up. “Surely you’ve got time to get laid.”

  My cheeks go pink.

  I’m not a virgin, far from it, but it’s been some time since I’ve had a man in my bed. I’m not ashamed of that fact, I swore I wasn’t going to sleep around again until it was with someone I wanted to date.

  “You don’t get laid, do you, kitten?” he asks, his voice thicker.

  “I do, just not … lately. Now, can we stop talking about it?”

  He studies my face, then focuses on his laptop. “Shame,” he says. “You’re beautiful.”

  I blink.

  Did he just call me beautiful?

  “I look like a man.”

  His head jerks up. “Pardon?”

  “A man, I look like a man.”

  He gives me a disgusted stare. “A man?”

  “Yes, a man. I’m huge.”

  “You’re not huge.”

  “I’m seriously huge. Like, the Hulk of the female world.”

  “You’re tall, kitten. You’re not huge.”

  “Compared to ninety-nine percent of other girls, I am.”

  He mutters something, then looks at me again. “You’re tall, you’re slender, you’re slightly curvy in all the right places and you’re fucking hot. Now stop talking shit, I need to get back to work.”

  Fucking hot.

  Fucking hot?

  He thinks I’m hot.

  I fight a smile. I’ve been called pretty, sexy even, but never hot. Coming from someone that looks like Jax, that’s a pretty amazing compliment. I don’t say anything else, I just get back to work with a happy smile on my face.

  It’s proving to be a good day.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The next two weeks pass rather event-free. Kyle and I get a steady schedule going, and it seems to be working for us. I do the days, he does the nights. He prefers nights, and likes to sleep during the day. I prefer days, because it allows me to go and visit people in the early evenings. Nak has said he wants us to start doing full-time shifts starting today, where Kyle does two days a week and I do the rest.

  Day and night.

  After a few more weeks, the job will be given to me 100 percent if I am doing well. Because I’ll be doing full time, I will be staying at Jax’s house when I’m on evenings—same as Kyle. That means during the night, I’ll be sleeping. An extensive new state-of-the-art security system has been installed, so Jax will no longer need someone outside his door during the night.

  It took some time to get the security set up because the whole building needed to be equipped. But now the front door security is much more secure, and when we go to bed at night, Jax will turn on the system so that any movement in the apartment will cause an alarm to go off.

  I have the code, so does Kyle, which means if we need to use the bathroom, we have to turn it off before we go. It has a thirty-second window to allow for it to be turned off when we leave our designated sleeping spaces, so it’s a bit touch and go. I’m sure we’ll get used to it.

  So today is officially the day I’ll be on my own. It’ll be Jax and me most of the time, with Kyle relieving me a few days a week so I can have some time with family and friends.

  I go through security at the door and then make my way up to Jax’s apartment. It’s only seven a.m. but Jax usually starts work around eight, so I’m not too early, I hope. When I get to his front door, Kyle is standing outside it, arms crossed. He looks my way and grunts. Kyle has barely said a thing to me since the incident with Nak, unless of course it’s to bark an order.

  “Morning, happy,” I mutter. “Is he awake?”

  “How am I supposed to know? I’m not his best friend, I’m protecting him,” Kyle grunts.

  “So nice to chat with you, Kyle,” I mutter, pushing the door open.

  I set all the alarms when I’m inside and then turn around, checking the room. Jax is obviously still upstairs. Sighing, I walk up and into his bedroom. He’s not in there, but I can hear the shower running. A moment later, a woman steps out. She’s fully dressed, and very beautiful. All busty and blond. I stop walking and wave a lame hand, not sure who the hell she is, but taking a wild guess and assuming Jax has had a great night.

  He follows her out of the bathroom and stops when he sees me, and both of them stare.

  “Who’s she?” she asks Jax in a lusty, sexy voice. Not at all bothered that there’s another woman in his room.

  “She’s my bodyguard.”

  I put up my hand and start counting on my fingers. “And his personal assistant, cook, cleaner and oh, his sex wrecker.”

  Jax mutters something and the girl smiles at me, her expression slightly lusty. “Do you want to make that five and be his bed buddy? I like to share.”

  I blink.

  Wait, what?

  “Pardon me?” I say.

  “You, me, him … it’ll be fun. What do you say?”

  She’s kidding, right? I stare at her, so shocked I have no idea how to respond.

/>   “Trust me,” Jax says, grinning. I turn quickly, cheeks pink. “She isn’t interested.”

  That gets my back up and I turn, glaring at him. “How would you know I’m not interested?”

  His brows go up and I try not to take note of how gorgeous he is, freshly showered and smelling amazing.

  “Are you?”

  I look up. “Pardon?”

  “Are you interested?”

  I scoff. “Um, no.”

  He grins. “Exactly.”

  “No fair.” The girl pouts and then walks over to the dresser, grabbing her purse. She’s gorgeous, damn her. All legs and breasts and ass. I shake my head and turn, walking towards the stairs—when I reach the base I turn and yell out to Jax.

  “Hurry it up, Shields, we’re late.”

  “On it, boss,” he yells back.

  I walk down the stairs smiling. Jax and I get along in a comfortable way. I guess that happens when you spend all your time with someone. Not that I know a great deal about Jax, except for the fact that he can be funny and broody at the same time, then he falls into cranky and silent if he’s had a bad day. He’s also a manwhore, but he doesn’t hide it nor is he ashamed of it.

  I respect that.

  I get to the bottom of the stairs and open Jax’s fridge, finding some milk. I use his coffeemaker to make us both a coffee while I wait for him to come down. Being a bodyguard, I’ve learned, is not just about protecting the person. You become so much more. Hell, I’m his personal assistant, his housemaid, and his stylist. And I love it.

  Nak told me that on a full-time case like this, bodyguards often become like personal assistants to keep themselves busy. There’s no rule against it, so when Jax is working, I spend a lot of time organizing things for him, helping him out, ordering food, things like that. And when we’re at his apartment and he’s busy, I find myself cleaning and sorting things. It makes my job that much easier.

  “You’re a lifesaver,” Jax says, appearing beside me in a fresh suit. He plucks the coffee cup from my hands and groans as he takes the first sip.

  “You know it,” I say. “Where’d your ‘sharing is caring’ girl go?”

  “She’s on the phone. I told her to let herself out.”

  I frown. “I can’t allow that, Jax.”

  He stares at me. “Why the fuck not?”

  I snort. “Seriously? She could leave your door open, not set the alarm, let someone in to plant a bomb…”

  “All right,” he says, throwing his hands up. “I’ll get her out.”

  “Hurry it up, we have to go or you’ll be late for your meeting.”

  He grunts. “Since when did you care about my business?”

  “I don’t, I just want time to stop for a blueberry muffin.”

  He walks away muttering to himself.

  I smile and finish up my coffee. He comes down a minute later with the girl trailing behind him. She flashes him a smile, then throws one at me, and then disappears. I follow her out with Jax on my heels. We do our usual morning routine and when we’re in the car, I turn to him. “So where are we going this weekend?”

  “New York, I have an important business meeting there.”

  I squeal with delight. “Seriously? We’re going to New York?”

  “Yes, kitten, we’re going to New York.”

  I clap my hands together happily and he shakes his head. His phone starts buzzing in his pocket and he pulls it out, glancing down at the screen. His jaw tics and he puts it to his ear, answering it with a gruff, “Yeah?”

  Silence.

  “Fuck it, Tori, I told you how things are.”

  Tori again. Interesting.

  “Yeah, and it shouldn’t have happened.”

  Oh boy.

  “It was one night,” he whispers low.

  He sighs loudly.

  “Fucking of course I liked it, but you know I can’t keep doing this, even if I wanted to. Red matters to me, and to you.”

  He closes his eyes and my heart aches again. He liked it? He wants it? I don’t know why that bothers me, but I push it right down into the depths and beyond, because it’ll do me no good to lust over the man I’m protecting. I turn and stare out the window, trying to ignore the rest of his conversation. When he hangs up, silence fills the car.

  “Ask,” he says, his voice resigned.

  “Ask what?” I reply, turning to him.

  “What that was about. I know you’re curious.”

  “None of my business, handsome,” I say, smiling. I’m sure my voice wobbled slightly, so I look back out the window.

  “I fucked her.”

  I flinch. Well okay then.

  “It was a big fucking mistake because now she won’t let it go.”

  I turn to him. “When did this happen?”

  “Three nights ago.”

  I wasn’t on duty then. Thank God.

  “Why’d you do it? You knew how she was going to take it.”

  He sighs and runs his hand over his jaw. God he’s gorgeous.

  “I don’t fucking know. She came on to me, I had been drinking. It isn’t an excuse but fuck, it’s the only one I’ve got.”

  “You regret it?”

  He clenches and unclenches his fists. “Yes and no.”

  “Do you love her?”

  He glances at me and there’s conflict in his eyes. “No, but I care about her. If Red wasn’t in the picture, and I didn’t know he was fucking head over heels for her, then yeah I would probably date her and there’s a chance I’d love her. I adore Tori, she’s been in my life a long time.”

  “Red loves her?” I ask, even though I already suspected that.

  He nods. “Yeah, he’s been in love with her since we were in high school. The three of us were always so close, I guess it was bound to happen to one of us.”

  I frown. “She doesn’t know?”

  He smiles sadly. “Oh she knows, but she’s always been in love with me.”

  “Jesus, that … sucks.”

  “Yeah,” he agrees. “That pretty much sums it up.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  He shrugs. “Fucked if I know.”

  I nod, because there’s nothing else I can say. When we arrive at work, I get out and do my usual check before escorting him inside.

  “I’m going to lunch today, a meeting. It’s up the road,” he says when we reach his office.

  “I know, I have your schedule.”

  “You going to be able to handle things out in the open like that?”

  I tighten my jaw. “Still don’t fully believe in me?”

  “It’s not that I don’t think you’re good, hell, I know you are, but you’re one person, Delaney.”

  “Would you feel safe if Kyle was with you?”

  He says nothing.

  “Then it has absolutely nothing to do with me being one person, but instead being a fucking woman. When are you going to see I can do the same job he can? How long is it going to take?”

  He says nothing again.

  I storm into his office and do my check, grinding my jaw the entire time. When I’m done, I wave a hand and he walks in.

  “Listen, kitten…”

  “Stop calling me that!” I yell.

  Then I stand by the door, head down, furious. Jax has accepted my role, but he still doesn’t fully trust his life in my hands. He doesn’t complain about it, but I know he’d feel safer if Kyle was around and that hurts me. It hurts because no one is willing to give me a fair go.

  “Delaney,” he tries, but I put a hand up.

  “Work, Jax. We’re done talking.”

  He curses under his breath, but gets to work.

  It’s the first day in weeks that we don’t talk, and it feels strange.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I’m nervous about escorting Jax to his luncheon, but I don’t show it. I do everything I can to ensure his safety. When we arrive at the restaurant, his business associates are standing outside, all chatting. This mak
es me uneasy, but I scan all our surroundings as Jax talks, looking for anything suspicious. Soon I start to relax.

  I’m prepared for anything, but I guess a part of me still hasn’t witnessed anything enough for me to believe that someone would be so reckless as to take a hit at Jax.

  I was wrong.

  It’s funny, because I am expecting danger, yet when it throws itself upon me I’m shocked that it actually happened.

  We’re standing outside, still talking, and my eyes are scanning the streets when I notice an old grey car. It’s not exactly doing anything suspicious, but it’s driven past four times. Slowly. I can’t see in the windows, but something about it makes me uneasy. I watch it go up the street and then turn around and come back.

  I have a horrible feeling, and so I step closer to Jax and say, “We should go inside.”

  The man standing beside Jax steps aside and Jax is no longer covered by a body. My heart starts to pound and my eyes flick to the car that has gone from driving ridiculously slowly, to suddenly speeding. Trust your instinct. That’s what Nak told me. My instinct is screaming to get Jax out and get him out now.

  The window of the car starts rolling down and a man with a covered face leans out, something in his hand. I don’t wait; I spin around so fast I startle the men around me. I launch my body at Jax’s and kick his feet out from beneath him. He goes down and I go with him, our bodies landing hard on the pavement. I didn’t miss the sound as we’re going down, the gunshots.

  People erupt in fear, getting up and screaming, running in all directions. Jax is staring up at me, his face blank with shock. I turn my head frantically, looking for the car. I can’t see it, so I push to my feet quickly and pull Jax up with me. He moves quickly, and I cover him as we run into the restaurant. I see a waitress and stop her.

  “Is there a room here that locks? He’s in danger, those people were shooting at him.”

  She nods. “Right this way.”

  I’m still holding onto Jax’s hand as I rush towards the room. It’s a small office, and it’s only got a high window, so we aren’t at risk of getting shot through it. I step in and thank the waitress, and then I lock the door and pull out my gun, holding it with shaky hands. “Call Nak,” I demand, my eyes firmly trained on the door.