Maxie, Rosie, and Earl-Partners in Grime

“But I shouldn’t even be here,” Rosie told her. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I promise.”

  “Neither did I,” said Maxie. “This isn’t fair. I watch Judge Judy. And I’m telling you, this definitely isn’t fair.”

  Rosie’s ears perked up at the mention of her favorite television show. She leaned over toward the skinny kid. “Did you see the one where that man was suing some little kid for throwing a rock at his windshield?” she whispered. “Only it turned out not to be a rock at all. It turned out to be a small jar of—”

  “Shh,” said the secretary.

  Rosie lowered her voice even more. “Cheez Whiz.”

  “Shh,” hissed the secretary again.

  After that, they sat there for more than ten minutes before Mr. Shivers came hurrying out his door.

  Rosie stared at his green suit. “Our pal looks like a green bean,” she said to no one in particular.

  Her comment made Earl bust out laughing again. He’d tried to hold it in, but it exploded right out of his mouth.

  Mr. Shivers turned his head. “Still haven’t been able to put a lid on it, have you, son?” he said.

  The principal grabbed a folder off the counter and headed for the outside door. “Sorry, troops,” he told them, “but I’ve got to leave for the rest of the day. Looks like you people have lucked out for now. You can go back to your rooms, but I expect to see each of you here bright and early Monday morning.”

  Then, without another word, the door closed, and he was gone.

  For a second, Maxie, Rosie, and Earl just sat there. They were stunned, almost. Things like this only happened in movies and books. In real life, kids never got off this easy.

  Slowly, Maxie stood up. It was a miracle! That’s what it was! He stretched his arms out to the sky. “Thank you, God,” he said. “Thank you, thank you. You did the right thing here. I mean it. You did.”

  Just then, he felt Mrs. Trumbull’s hand on his shoulder. She spun him around.

  “You’re the Zuckerman kid, aren’t you? It’s Maxie, isn’t it? You do understand the part about coming back on Monday morning, don’t you, Maxie?”

  Maxie nodded, but he wasn’t worried at all. Monday was three days away. And anything could happen in three days. Mrs. Trout could change her mind and realize the whole scissors incident had been her fault. Or maybe on Monday morning, Mr. Shivers’ windshield would be hit by a small jar of Cheez Whiz on his way to school. The important thing was that, for the moment, Maxie’s prayers had been answered.

  After she gave them their hall passes, Mrs. Trumbull led them into the hall. “Go back to class,” she said sternly. Then she turned and she went back into the office.

  Still not believing their own good luck, the three of them stood in the hall, frozen almost. Then finally, they relaxed a little, and they started to walk.

  Maxie had only gone a few steps when he stopped again. No, wait. Hold it. Go back to his room? Back to all those smirking faces? You had to be kidding!

  “I can’t,” he said out loud. “The kids in my room will laugh their heads off if I go back now. You guys don’t know the kind of mungos I’ve got to face back there.”

  Rosie wondered what a mungo was, but she had her own problems to deal with. How could she face all the stares from her classmates? All her life, she’d tried to set such a good example for the other children. And now they would think she was bad like them.

  “And I didn’t even do anything,” she said.

  Earl felt a knot forming in the pit of his stomach. What if his class was still reading out loud? What if—just to punish him—Mrs. Mota asked him to try one more time?

  His nerves made his bathroom problem even worse. He bounced up and down. “Do you guys think I’ll get in trouble for going to the boys’ room without permission?”

  “Permission from who?” asked Maxie. “No one’s even in charge of you right now. Your teacher thinks you’re still in the principal’s office. And the principal thinks you’re back in your—”

  Suddenly, Maxie stopped talking. His eyes opened wide in amazement.

  “Class,” he heard himself say. “The principal thinks all of us are back in class.”

  Earl bounced faster. “Yeah? So?”

  “So don’t you get it?” he asked. “Everyone thinks that we’re someplace else. No one is looking for us. It means we could …”

  He looked all around, then lowered his voice to a whisper.

  “… leave.”

  Earl froze again. For a second, Rosie did, too. Then suddenly—almost violently—she began shaking her head. Oh no. No way! Where was her notepad? The Zuckerman kid was actually talking about ditching school!

  “That’s nuts!” she sputtered. “Leaving school is illegal. It’s completely against the rules.” She pulled off her glasses again and nervously wiped them on her skirt. But as she did, her eyes sneaked a peek at the big exit doors down the hall.

  Next to her, Earl Wilber’s brain was in chaos. Leave? Just leave? Oh geez … if only he could! If only his mother wouldn’t find out!

  The boys’ room was across the hall, and he had to go worse than ever.

  “Wait for me!” he told Maxie. “Please. I mean it! Don’t go anywhere without me. I’ll be right back.”

  Maxie looked at his watch. Could he really do this? Even if it was completely foolproof, cutting school would take guts. The guts of a leader.

  Rosie was watching every move he made. “You’re not serious about this, are you?”

  “Why not?” asked Maxie. “It’s my teacher’s fault that all this happened. And besides, Mrs. Trout thinks I’m being dismissed from the office. So who’s going to know?”

  Rosie screamed inside her head, Me! I’m going to know, that’s who! And I’ll have to tell on you, too! I won’t want to, but I’ll have to.

  Maxie looked at his watch again. The seconds were ticking away. Go or stay, go or stay? He had to make a decision before another teacher came along and found them in the hall.

  “I’m going for it!” he said. “I’m outta here!”

  Just then the boys’ room door opened, and Earl came running over.

  “Come on! We’re leaving!” Maxie said excitedly.

  Rosie backed up from them. “Oh no, we’re not. Not me. I can’t. I really, really can’t.”

  Maxie grabbed Earl’s arm and started down the hall. Earl’s legs felt like jelly.

  “My mother’s going to kill me,” he said shakily.

  “No, she won’t. Your mother’s not even going to know. Do you think I’d be doing this if I thought my parents would find out? I’m not crazy, you know.”

  Rosie ran up behind them.

  “You guys are going to get caught,” she said. “I’m telling you the truth. You’re going to get suspended for this.”

  Maxie looked at the boy beside him and shook his head. “No, we’re not, are we … uh, what was your name again?”

  “Earl. Earl Wilber.”

  “Are we, Earl Wilber?”

  Earl smiled a little bit. School had started three weeks ago, and this was the first kid who had called him by his name.

  The two boys took off running toward the exit doors.

  Rosie gasped.

  She couldn’t let them get away with this!

  She just couldn’t!

  5 GRIME

  CITY

  Maxie hit the exit doors with a thud. He’d expected them to fly open. But instead, the locked doors threw him backward.

  He hit Earl in the stomach.

  “OOOMPH,” said Earl, and the two of them fell to the floor.

  They had just gotten up when the second-grade teacher, Mrs. Conklin, stuck her head into the hall.

  Thinking fast, Maxie threw his arm around Earl’s shoulder. “Dodgeball accident,” he blurted. “We’re on our way to the nurse.”

  Earl was still hugging his stomach. “Auuggh,” he groaned.

  Mrs. Conklin’s eyes glanced down the hall at Rosie, who was pretending to get a drin
k of water.

  “Let’s be on our way, people,” called the teacher to all three.

  Doubled over, Earl began to shuffle away. As soon as Mrs. Conklin shut her door, Maxie grabbed him by the arm again and pulled him around the corner. There were more exit doors at the end of the next hall.

  They were almost there when Emily Sweete came skipping out of the girls’ bathroom in front of them. Maxie had to sidestep to keep from knocking her down.

  Emily checked to make sure she was okay. She smoothed out her new red dress and adjusted her name tag. Even though her teacher, Mrs. Petrie, had learned her name weeks ago, Emily still liked wearing the name tag to school. When everyone knew your name, it meant that you were famous.

  She watched closely as the two boys stopped at the big doors and looked back at her. They seemed to be in a hurry, Emily thought. The little one kept looking at his watch, and the big one was fidgeting.

  Emily Sweete fluffed her hair and started skipping toward them. She had just learned to skip two days ago, but already she was one of the “best little skippers in the world.” Grammie and Poppie had even said so.

  Earl watched in horror as the little girl got closer. “She’s coming! She’s coming!” He grabbed Maxie’s shirt. “Why is she coming?”

  Maxie was as upset as Earl. Please, little girl. Go back, go back, he begged silently.

  But Emily kept on skipping. She loved the way her stiff crinolines made her dress bounce up and down. When she got to the doors, she twirled around in a circle, then stopped right in front of them.

  “I can skip,” she said. “I just learned.”

  Frantically, Earl pulled the bottom of his shirt up over his face so she couldn’t see him.

  Emily stared at his bare stomach and pointed. “That boy’s zipper is down,” she said to Maxie.

  Maxie stooped next to her. “I have an idea, Emily. Why don’t you skip back to your room, and we’ll watch you, okay?”

  Emily smoothed out her dress. “Okay,” she said. “Only first I have to rest for a second. ’Cause I don’t want to get perspiration on me.”

  She leaned over and checked to make sure her lacy socks were still in place. Sometimes when she skipped, they slipped down inside her shoes.

  “Please,” begged Maxie. “Just go, okay? Earl and I are waiting.”

  Earl hit Maxie on the arm. What a stupid mistake to tell the girl his name!

  “My name’s not Earl!” he said. “It’s … it’s Ted.”

  By now, Emily Sweete was ready to skip again. “Okay, here I go. Watch me, Ted. Watch me!”

  She waited until Earl lowered his shirt enough to see out. Then she started skipping from side to side in a fancy zigzag pattern.

  When she was almost back to her classroom, she turned her head to smile at her two admirers.

  But her audience was already gone.

  Maxie took off across the parking lot. Earl was close behind. Too close. He stepped on Maxie’s heel and pulled off his shoe.

  “Hey! My shoe! My shoe!” Maxie yelled.

  “Run in your sock!” hollered Earl as he passed him.

  Annoyed, Maxie ran back, grabbed the shoe, then sped forward. He ducked behind the first car he came to. Earl was already there. He was on his back, trying to slide under.

  Maxie grabbed his leg. “Hey! Where are you going?”

  “We’ve got to hide!” called Earl. “That little girl saw our faces! She’s going to squeal on us, I’m telling you! They’ll be looking for us any minute!”

  Maxie rolled his eyes. This kid was turning out to be a total loon.

  “Quit acting like a slub, Earl. We’ve got to keep moving. If we don’t keep moving, we’ll get caught for—”

  Before he could finish his sentence, they heard the school doors come flying open again.

  “See? I told you!” cried Earl. In a panic, he tried to sit up. But he clunked his head on the car’s muffler and went back down with a thud.

  Maxie peeked around the tire to see who was coming.

  Rosie Swanson dove beside him on the ground. “I came to get you! You have to come back! You have to!” she said.

  “Oh no. No way,” Maxie told her. He pointed to the school gate. “Look how close we are to freedom. We’re not going back now, are we, Earl?”

  Earl wiggled out from under the car. His clothes were covered with splotches of grease and he was rubbing the bump on his head.

  “You called me a slub,” he said, offended.

  Maxie’s eyes scanned the parking lot. “Never mind that. We’ve got to make a break for it. I don’t think we should run at the same time, though. It’s too risky.”

  Just then, he spotted the school Dumpster. “See that giant trash bin down there?” he said. “I’ll run down there and hide behind it. Then, when it’s safe for you to come, too, I’ll give you the all-clear signal.”

  Maxie stood up and swung his arm in big, full circles at his side. “See this, Earl? See what I’m doing? This will be the all-clear signal.”

  Rosie smirked. “That’s not an all-clear signal,” she said. “That’s what guys at the airport do to show the planes where to land.”

  Maxie narrowed his eyes. “Oh really, Miss Know-It-All? Well, for your information, it’s also going to be an all-clear signal.”

  Rosie glared at him. “Good. Fine. Suit yourself. But don’t blame me if a plane lands on you.”

  Maxie looked at the Dumpster one more time. His stomach was churning like crazy. Just do it! he ordered himself. Just go!

  Almost on their own, his feet took off across the parking lot. Faster! Faster! he told himself. Don’t stop! Don’t look back!

  Behind him, he could feel the other two watching his back. For once in his life, all eyes were on him. Maxie Zuckerman was the man! Maxie Zuckerman was in the spotlight!

  He was almost to the Dumpster now. Just a little way to go.

  That’s when he heard it. Pounding footsteps coming up behind him! He was being chased!

  He pulled in his shoulders, ducked his head, and ran faster.

  In a flash, the girl from the principal’s office blitzed past him.

  And after her came Earl Wilber.

  “No, you guys! No! I’m supposed to be the leader, not you! Go back and wait for the all-clear signal!” Maxie hollered.

  But neither Rosie nor Earl slowed down until they reached the Dumpster.

  Disgusted, Maxie stopped and walked the last few feet.

  Behind the Dumpster, Earl was huffing and puffing and holding his heart. “You big dummy!” he snapped at Rosie. “You said someone was coming! But there wasn’t.”

  Rosie grabbed Earl by the shirt. “Watch who you’re calling dummy, dummy,” she growled. “The name is Rosie Swanson. And for your information, I thought I heard voices.”

  When she finally let go, Earl smoothed out his collar. “Same to you, fella,” he sputtered stupidly.

  Maxie threw his hands in the air. “Knock it off, you two! We don’t have time for this! Look how close the gate is now. Come on. We’ll just walk out real calm, like we’re not doing anything wrong.”

  “No! I’m not going, I told you,” said Rosie. “I came out to get you guys. But there’s no way that I’m going to walk out that—”

  CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

  The sudden noise of the school bell made Rosie scream. “Oh no! They found us! They found us! It’s an escape siren! Just like in those prison movies!”

  She grabbed Earl and ducked behind him to hide.

  “Quit it! Let go of my shirt! You’re stretching it!” Earl growled. He tried to swat her away.

  Maxie shouted at them both. “It’s not an escape siren! It’s a fire drill! We’ve got to hide, you guys! They’re going to come pouring out of the school any second.”

  He ran to the nearest car door and tried to open it. Locked!

  Desperately, he looked back at the Dumpster. His eyes opened wide. Of course! The answer to their problem was staring him right in the face! br />
  “Quick! In here!” he called. And without another word, Maxie Zuckerman took a huge leap, kicked his foot over the edge, and went over the top of the trash bin.

  Rosie and Earl watched as his head disappeared out of view.

  A second later, it appeared again. “Hurry up! Get in!” he ordered.

  Earl held his nose and made a sick face. Stinky places made him woozy.

  “Give me a break!” Maxie yelled back. “It’s almost empty! And besides, what choice do you have? You either get in here or you get expelled.

  “NOW!” Maxie shrieked.

  Earl was shocked into action. He tried to kick his leg over the side of the can, but it wouldn’t reach, and he fell back down.

  “I can’t do it! I can’t! I’m a dead man! I’m dead!” he said.

  Rosie couldn’t wait one more second. “Out of my way!” she yelled. She made a flying leap over the top of the Dumpster and landed safely inside.

  Just then, the school doors opened, and kids started pouring into the parking lot.

  Earl gave it one last try. This time, he kicked his leg as hard as he could. His foot caught on the edge of the bin, and he tumbled in on top of Maxie and Rosie.

  The three of them hit the bottom of the can with a bang. Rosie’s glasses fell off. When she grabbed for them, her hand hit something slimy.

  “Sick!” she said disgustedly. She wiped whatever it was on her new yellow skirt. “Sick, sick, sick!”

  Earl held his nose as tight as he could. “I tan’t breeeathe in here. It tinkt too bad!”

  “Shh!” hissed Maxie. “If anyone hears us, we’re toast!”

  Within seconds, commotion and noise were all around them. Maxie, Rosie, and Earl crouched in terror and prayed that no teacher would look over the edge.

  They waited and waited. Fire drills were supposed to be speedy, but this one seemed to last forever.

  Outside the Dumpster, two impatient kindergarten girls began tapping on the side of the can like a drum. Another little boy started kicking it. Harder and harder and harder.

  Rosie held her head. The banging was giving her a headache. If she ever made it out of here alive, she would find the little nitwit who was kicking the can and report him to Mr. Jim, the head custodian. The custodian who hated kids.